Freddy Goes to Florida

by Walter R. Brooks

  But the other burglars were very much smaller men and so they didn’t dare say anything, although they looked very much discontented with their shares.

  Now the window through which the animals were looking was rather high up, as windows go, and although the two dogs and Freddy, the pig, could see in by putting their forepaws on the window-sill and stretching their necks, Jinx was too short, and he had to climb up and hang on by his claws. He didn’t mind this particularly, because his claws were sharp and strong, and he could have hung on like that for hours. But there was a big brown moth who was also trying to look in the window at what the burglars were doing, and it kept fluttering round on the pane right in front of Jinx’s nose, so that half the time he couldn’t see a thing.

  At first he spoke to it politely, and asked it if it wouldn’t please move up a little higher, where it could see just as well and wouldn’t be in his way.

  “Move up yourself!” growled the moth. “I was here first.”

  “Of course you were,” said Jinx patiently. “But you must realize that I can’t move up. And I should think common politeness——”

  “Oh, shut up!” said the moth.

  So Jinx didn’t say any more, but he made up his mind to give that moth a lesson. So he let go for a mniute with one forepaw, and made one slap at the moth and scooped it right off the window.

  But Robert, who was standing next to Jinx, was doing something that all dogs and a good many people do. When anything surprised or interested him very much, he opened his eyes very wide, and when his eyes opened, his mouth seemed to come open too. So he was standing with his mouth wide open staring at the burglars, and when Jinx hit the big brown moth with his paw, he knocked it straight down Robert’s throat.

  “Arrrrrrgh!” said Robert. “Woof!”

  “What’s that!” said all the burglars at once, and they jumped up and bent over the table to blow out the lamp. But as they all bent over at exactly the same time, their three heads came together in the middle, crack! And then the light was out and the animals couldn’t see anything more, but they could hear the burglars rubbing their bumped heads and groaning.

  For quite a long while the animals waited for something to happen, but nothing did. The burglars were evidently badly scared. They seemed to be whispering together, and at last Jinx said: “I’m going in to see what they’re doing. I noticed when we came up to the house that the door was open a little way, and I think I can get in.”

  So he went round to the door, and sure enough it was open a crack, and he made himself narrow, as cats can, and slipped in. It was so dark inside that the burglars could not see anything at all, but Jinx could see them quite plainly. Cats can see in the dark. He jumped up on the mantelpiece to be out of the way, and sat down.

  The two small burglars, whose names were Ed and Bill, were in a corner, trying to open one of the dark lanterns, so they could light it. But as they never used the lanterns, but only carried them to show that they were burglars, they didn’t know how to open it. The big burglar, whose name was Percy, was standing by the table, on which were the three piles of stolen things that he had been dividing up, and he was feeling with his fingers in the other piles and taking out the biggest things and putting them on his own pile. But he couldn’t see what he was doing, and pretty soon he knocked a watch and an emerald necklace off on the floor.

  At the sound Ed and Bill started up. “What you doin’ over there, Percy?” Bill whispered hoarsely.

  And Ed said: “He’s after them jools.”

  “Oh, I am not!” said Percy. “I was just feeling for the matches.”

  “Oh, you was, was you?” said Ed. “Well, you just come over here and give us a hand with this lantern.”

  So Percy hastily stuffed a handful of ten-dollar bills into his pocket and came over to them.

  “Why don’t you light the lamp?” he asked. “We’re perfectly safe. That noise wasn’t anything.”

  “Maybe so,” said Bill. “But I’m going to have a look round with the lantern first. Here, see if you can get it open.”

  They were all standing close to the fire-place, and as Percy took the lantern, Jinx, who never could resist a joke, reached out and dug his claws into his shoulder.

  “Ouch!” yelled Percy, dropping the lantern with a crash. “What d’ye mean, sticking pins in me like that?” And he struck out with his fist in the darkness and hit Bill on the nose.

  Bill had just been going to say: “I didn’t touch you, silly!” but when that hard fist hit him, he changed his mind and flew at Percy, and in a second they were rolling on the floor and clawing and kicking and pulling each other’s hair like wildcats.

  They rolled toward the table, and Ed, who was afraid that they would knock it over and spill all the money and jewelery on the floor, took a match from his pocket and scratched it on the mantelpiece just under where Jinx was sitting, doubled up with laughter at the commotion he had caused. The match flamed up, and by its light Ed saw Jinx.

  Now, if you are a rather timid burglar, and you light a match in a dark room and see a cat that is half black and half red—for Jinx had been dipped in the paint pot, you remember—if you see such a cat grinning at you within an inch of your nose, you will probably do just as Ed did. He dropped his match and let out an awful yell.

  When he yelled, Bill and Percy stopped fighting and sat up. “What’s the matter?” they asked.

  “There’s a red and black cat sitting on the mantelpiece and grinning at me!” said Ed in a scared voice.

  “Fiddlesticks!” said Percy, and Bill said: “Nonsense!” and then he too lit a match. He was near the window as he did so, and there was Freddy, the pig, with his nose against the glass, staring in for all he was worth to see what was going on inside.

  Then it was Bill’s turn to drop his match and yell. “A pig with spectacles on is looking at us through the window!” For, of course, Freddy still had the circles around his eyes that Jinx had painted there.

  “Fiddlesticks!” said Percy again, but he didn’t say it quite as loud. And Bill and Ed didn’t say anything.

  There was silence for a few minutes, while the three scared burglars tried to get up enough courage to light another match. Then through the silence came the faint sound of wheels on the road outside.

  “Listen!” whispered Percy. “Somebody coming. I’m going out to have a look. It won’t be black and red cats, and pigs with glasses on, anyway.” And he slipped silently out of the door.

  The other two burglars tiptoed to the door and peered out after him, but although it was bright moonlight outside, the trees were so thick round the house that they could not see the road. And then, as they waited, came a terrible yell, and it was three times as loud as Ed’s yell and Bill’s yell put together. And they heard footsteps running, and Percy dashed up to the door, his eyes nearly starting out of his head with fright.

  “Run! Run for your lives!” he panted. “Out on the road there’s a tiger harnessed to a carriage and behind the carriage there’s a leopard with horns, as big as a cow. Run, or we shall all be eaten up!” And he dashed off into the woods and the two others rushed out of the door after him, and the animals could hear the crash of branches and the thump of heavy feet die away in the distance. And I may say here that they never saw either Ed or Bill or Percy again.

  Of course what had happened was this. Mrs. Wiggins and Hank had got tired of waiting, and when they had heard the first two yells they had started down the road to see what was going on. They had not seen Percy come out of the door, and when he saw them and let out his terrible yell, they had been much more scared than he was. Indeed, Mrs. Wiggins was quite faint and had to lie down for a few minutes by the road-side while Charles and Henrietta fanned her with their wings.

  “I’m all of a flutter!” she said. “Oh my, oh my! Just put your hoof on my side and feel how my heart beats, Hank. What a dreadful experience!”

  But pretty soon she was able to get up and be helped into the house.

/>   The burglars had left all the things they had stolen behind them in their flight, but as the animals had no matches, and as it was late, they decided not to do anything about them until morning. So they all curled up comfortably on the floor and went to sleep.

  XVI

  Alice did not sleep very well that night. She had a stomach-ache. And she had a stomach-ache because she had eaten two chocolates and a caramel and a horehound drop that Robert had given her out of a bag of candy that he had found by the road-side. Robert had offered Emma some too, but she had very sensibly refused it. Candy doesn’t agree with ducks.

  So, as she couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard she tried, Alice got up before daylight and went out into the woods. The cool morning air made her feel sleepy, so she thought she would try again, and, having found a sheltered spot under a big pine, she tucked her head under her wing and dozed off. When she woke up, the sun was shining and the swallows were pouring like smoke out of the chimney in search of their breakfast.

  Alice called to one of them and asked him about the burglars.

  “They’ve been here about a month,” said the swallow. “They go out every night and rob the farmers’ houses, and then come back and sleep all day. They usually get back about this time every morning, so you animals had better look out.”

  “I don’t think they will be back this morning,” said Alice. “But tell me, did they dig up the gold we found when we were here before?”

  “No,” said the swallow. “They haven’t touched it.”

  “Thank you,” said Alice. “That was all I wanted to know. Good-morning.” And she hurried back to tell the others that their treasure was safe.

  But when she got back to the house, she stopped in amazement on the threshold. Her sister, Emma, was waddling importantly up and down with a bracelet set with big blue sapphires round her neck and a beautiful bag, all made of little links of pure gold, tucked under her wing. The four mice, with diamond rings round their necks like collars, were playing tag in a corner, and they sparkled and glittered like little streaks of fire as they chased one another. Henrietta looked very queenly with a hoop of rubies set on her head like a crown. She was bending down and trying to see herself in the little mirror set in the cover of a powder box, which she had snapped open with her claw. But Mrs. Wiggins was most gorgeous of all. There was a rope of pearls about her big neck, and a platinum wrist watch on her left ankle. She had hung an emerald necklace on each horn, and they hung down and bobbed and dangled beside her broad, pleasant face like enormous ear-rings. And she had powdered her wide, black nose until it was as white as flour. She looked truly reckless.

  Alice, after a moment’s astonishment, entered into the fun. She found a thin, gold chain with a diamond and pearl locket which she hung round her neck, and then she went over to where Henrietta was still admiring herself in the powder-box cover, and asked if she might have some powder for her bill.

  “There isn’t any left,” said Henrietta.

  “I’m sorry, Alice,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “I’m afraid I used it all up. There’s so much of me to powder, you know. I do wish I could see myself. Though I must say I don’t believe I have improved my appearance much. I must look like an overdressed washerwoman. You can’t do much with a cow,” she added sadly.

  Then Robert and Jack played a game. Each took six bracelets, and Mrs. Wiggins stood perfectly still, and they tried to throw them over her horns. But they weren’t very good at it, and after Mrs. Wiggins had been hit on her nose several times, she said she guessed she wouldn’t play any more, as they were knocking all the powder off.

  Then Henrietta said: “What are we going to do with all this jewellery?”

  “We ought to give it back to the people it was stolen from,” said Hank.

  “All very fine,” said Henrietta. “But how do you propose to do that?”

  Hank said he didn’t exactly know. So they talked it over for a while and at last hit upon a plan. And after breakfast they loaded all the stolen things into the carriage and started out for the nearest farm-house.

  When they got there, there was nobody in sight, but Jack and Robert barked until at last a woman came to the door to see what was the matter. She was a large, fat woman, and looked quite a lot like Mrs. Wiggins. She was wiping soap-suds off her hands on her apron, because she had been washing her husband’s other shirt.

  “Land sakes alive!” she exclaimed when she saw the animals all grouped about the carriage. “What is this, a circus?”

  It took quite a long time for the dogs to make her understand what they wanted her to do. They ran back and forth between her and the carriage, and at last she followed them. When she saw the heap of money and jewellery she gave a loud cry and seized the hoop of rubies that Henrietta had worn on her head.

  “Land of love!” she cried. “Here’s the ring that Cousin Eunice gave me last Christmas, the one the burglars stole when they broke into our house a month ago. And here’s the emerald necklace I won as a prize at the pedro club last winter. And here’s Hiram’s gold cigarette case.”

  She ran to the corner of the house. “Hiram! Hiram!” she called. “Come here this minute.”

  So pretty soon Hiram, her husband, came from where he had been resting, up in the hay loft. And he found twenty dollars, beside the cigarette case, that the burglars had taken from him.

  “Now, how do you suppose these animals got these things?” he said. “Do you suppose they found the place where the burglars hid them?”

  “I don’t know about that,” said his wife. “But I do know that they brought them here so we could pick out what belonged to us. Such good, clever animals! I’m going to kiss every one of you!” Which she did, even the mice, who were scared to death. She looked very funny after she had kissed Mrs. Wiggins, because a lot of the powder came off on her face.

  “Now,” she said, “I’m going to go over to Aunt Etta’s with these animals, because I saw her gold soup tureen among those things.” And she climbed in the phaeton and they started off, while Hiram went back to do some more resting in the hay loft.

  Aunt Etta was an educated woman. Every evening she sat on the porch and read the newspaper until it got so dark she couldn’t see, and then she went in and lighted the lamp and finished reading it.

  So when she had taken her soup tureen and one or two other things that the burglars had stolen, she said: “I know who these animals are. I saw a piece in the paper about them only last week. They’re migrating. They came from way up north and went to Florida for the winter. They’re very clever animals indeed. I expect they’re on their way home now, as it’s spring.”

  “Well,” said her niece, “they won’t get home until fall at this rate. They’ll have to visit about a hundred farms to get all this stuff back to the people it belongs to. It’s too bad they can’t find a quicker way.”

  “A lot of the things have been advertised for in the paper,” said Aunt Etta. “How would it be if we put an advertisement in, saying that all the things were here and the people could come here and get them? Then the animals wouldn’t have to traipse all over the country, and they could go on home in a day or two.”

  The niece thought this was a good idea, and the animals looked at one another and nodded, and so Robert barked very loud to show that they thought it a good idea too. Then Aunt Etta got up. “I’ll go in and telephone the newspaper office right away,” she said, “and have the advertisement put in to-night. And then we’ll give these animals something to eat and a place to be comfortable. They must be tired, having come such a long way.”

  So she telephoned the newspaper office, and then she went out in the barn and got some oats for Hank, and she showed Alice and Emma where the duck pond was, and introduced them to her own ducks, and she found two bones for the dogs, and a piece of cheese for the mice, and a saucer of cream for Jinx, and she cooked up some corn-meal mush for Charles and Henrietta, and led Mrs. Wiggins out into the pasture, where there was a very superior quality of grass. If sh
e had noticed Mr. and Mrs. Webb she would probably have tried to catch some flies for them, she was such a kind and generous old lady, and so grateful for the return of her gold soup tureen.

  Then, when the animals had all been given the things they liked best to eat, she sat down on the porch and told her niece everything she had read in the paper for the last six weeks.

  XVII

  So for two days the animals stayed at Aunt Etta’s, who, as Mrs. Wiggins said, was kindness itself. They sat on the front porch with her while she read the paper, and they ate the good things she prepared for them. A good many of the animals in the neighbourhood who had heard about them came to call and to ask about their travels, and as there were so many who were interested in their adventures, Charles very kindly consented to give a lecture in the big barn on the second evening. The name of the lecture was A Trip to the Sunny South, and it was a great success.

  Then on the third day all the farmers and their wives from far and near who had had things stolen by the burglars gathered in Aunt Etta’s parlour, because that was the day the advertisement in the paper had told them to come, to get their things back. All the jewellery and money and watches and silverware were tastefully arranged on little tables covered with white doilies, and all the farmers had to do was to pick out the things that belonged to them. And when they had all got their property back, they made a great fuss over the animals, and one nice old lady, whose name was Mrs. Trigg, and who owned the rope of pearls that Mrs. Wiggins had dressed up in, said: “I wish there was something we could do for these good, kind animals to show them how much we appreciate what they have done for us. Can anyone think of anything?”

  The farmers and their wives all clapped their hands and cheered at this, and made more of a fuss over the animals than ever, but no one could think of any way to reward them.