[Anthology] The Paranormal 13- now With a Bonus 14th Novel!

by Dima Zales

  “I just have a couple of ground rules. First, I’m not fragile. And second, calm down, please? I already told you I’m pretty harmless. OK?”

  He nods; I doubt he’s capable of much more communication than that at the moment. “Great, now that we’ve got the rules sorted out, I think you could probably use a drink and I know for sure that I can. So how about we go back inside and get one?” He’s fine with it, so back inside we go.

  Beth spots us heading back to the bar. She gives me a “what’s going on?” look and I just smile and point to Brian. I think she gets the idea. When we get home, we’ll be up for hours talking about it, I’m sure.

  We get our drinks, and we find a table in a dark corner. It’s not all that quiet, but we can mostly hear each other and that’s good enough. We don’t say anything right away; I sip my beer and he just looks at his. What I’d rather do is dance, but I’m fairly certain he’s not up for that at the moment. I’ve got to say something, just to get things going again. “Are you here with anyone else?” Lame, I know, but conversation openers aren’t really my thing.

  “A bunch of us from my dorm. I wasn’t going to come at all, but they talked me into it.”

  “Tell me when you see them, so I know who to thank,” I smile, and he almost smiles back. Almost. “Look, I know you’re nervous. But you have to trust me, OK?” I don’t know how to make him trust me; I don’t know what I can say.

  Maybe it’s not something I say – maybe it’s something I do. I lean close, I take his face in my hands, and this time I really kiss him. He’s just stunned; I swear I can actually hear his heart beating. But he recovers, he returns the kiss. I break it off and pull away, just a little. We’re still only an inch or two apart. I think it worked, I can see the tension draining away from his face. Thank God. “See? Would I have done that if I didn’t really like you?”

  “It’s just – well – I…”

  “Take it easy. One word at a time.”

  He does exactly that. “I never thought I had a chance with you. You’re – it’s not just that you’re beautiful. I mean, you’re popular, everyone likes you. And I’m a freshman and you’re a senior…”

  “Junior, actually,” but close enough. As for me being popular? And beautiful? Please.

  But he really believes it. I do understand him worrying that I wouldn’t be interested in him because he’s a freshman. Personally, I couldn’t care less, but a lot of people would. So I get that. The rest of it, though – it’s way more than just flattery. This might be more difficult than I thought. “Don’t go and put me on a pedestal like that. You won’t be able to reach up and touch me. Come on, I’m not a model or anything. I’m just plain old Sara.”

  He rolls his eyes. I guess that counts as progress. “Did you look in the mirror before you came out tonight? You aren’t plain old anything.”

  Well, I have to give him that one, too. I did go all out tonight, and I haven’t looked this good since – well, ever. “OK, tonight’s a little out of the ordinary, fair enough. This is me at my absolute best. It doesn’t change what I said, though. It’s really flattering that you think I’m beautiful, and I’m glad you like me. But if all you’re going to do is sit there and wait for me to change my mind and decide that I can do better, tell me now, OK? Because if that’s how this is going to be, I can do better.” That’s a lot harsher than I meant it to sound, but better to get it out there right away instead of having it blow up on me later.

  He has to consider that for a bit before he answers me. “That’s not me. Usually it isn’t, really.” He sounds more than a little desperate, but I let it go for now. It’s the best I’m going to get, I think. And honestly? For right now, it’s good enough.

  “Good. That’s what I was hoping. So now can we talk like regular people? I don’t know a thing about you besides your name.”

  He’s still a little shaky as he starts telling me about himself, but he gets progressively less so as he goes on. Better. Much better. There may be hope after all.

  It’s almost two in the morning and we’re still talking. I was right; he does live in Allen House – if my room were on the other side of the floor, we’d be able to see each other out our windows. He thinks he wants to study mechanical engineering, or at least some kind of engineering. He’s also from Pennsylvania, just like me. His house is actually less than an hour away from mine. Go figure. Things are moving along very nicely, even if I never do manage to get him onto the dance floor. Nothing’s perfect, I guess.

  I just thought of something. Dancing. I wonder…

  “Were you at our Halloween party?” I’ve got a feeling he was. I’ll bet he was the tall, cute guy who supposedly kept looking at me the whole time, the one I didn’t notice. He nods. “And you wanted to dance with me, or at least talk to me, right?”

  “By the time I’d talked myself into going up to you, you were gone,” he says with an embarrassed smile.

  “If it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t have been very good company. I was obsessing over a lab report and I snuck back upstairs the minute my roommate took her eye off me.” It makes me wonder, though. What could he possibly have seen in me that night that he’d dream about me afterwards?

  I realize I may not be the best judge, but I think I was pretty far from the most desirable girl in the room. If I were a guy, I don’t think I would’ve been interested in me based on that night. “I’m curious. Why me? Out of all the girls who were there that night, I mean.”

  I don’t really expect an answer, but he surprises me. “You – well, you didn’t have this look like all the other girls did, like you couldn’t be bothered to talk to some freshman who didn’t even have a decent costume for Halloween, you know?”

  I’m disappointed; I’d rather have had nothing than that. “That’s not an answer,” I say, and then something more comes into my head and straight out through my mouth. “I am not interested in what he will not be. I am interested in what he will be.”

  “What?”

  I don’t blame him for being confused; I’m sure he hasn’t seen the movie. It’s only because my Mom loves it and watches it every time it comes on that I remember it. “’Guys and Dolls.’ The movie. Ever seen it?” He shakes he head; I was right. “OK. So Marlon Brando is the lead. He’s a gambler, kind of a mafia guy. A big shot, but still basically he’s just a crook. And he’s trying to romance Jean Simmons, she’s a charity worker, she’s with the Salvation Army, OK?”

  “Gene Simmons? From KISS?” I have to give him credit for feeling relaxed enough to joke. I guess that’s something.

  “Jean with a J. From the fifties. Stay with me, OK?” He nods. “So Marlon Brando isn’t getting anywhere with her, and he asks her, what kind of man would she go for? And she says, right away, ‘He will not be a gambler.’ But that’s not good enough. It’s not really an answer at all. You see what I mean?”

  He laughs. “So I’m Jean Simmons, whoever she is, and you’re Marlon Brando?”

  I laugh too, but I’m not letting him off the hook. “You’re avoiding the question.”

  He takes a deep breath, gathers his thoughts. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Try.”

  “When I look at you – the Halloween party, or just when you’re a couple of tables over at the dining hall, or now. Whenever I’ve seen you, you have this quality, I guess it is – I’m not sure if this is the right word, but it’s all I can think of – you’re open. Do you know what I mean?” Actually, I think I do. But I want to hear him say it, so I shake my head.

  “You’re open to whoever you’re talking to, you’re not judging, not looking down on anybody. You – when I look at you, I can see, you actually care what I’m – what anybody else is saying, what they’re thinking. You’re not just sitting there waiting to talk and thinking of something clever to say back. Like – like I’m – like whoever you’re talking to is a real person, and not just someone who’s only there because you are. Do you – do you have any idea how rare that i
s?”

  I do. And – not to be immodest, but it’s one of the things I really like about myself, now I think about it. If that’s truly what he thinks, if he’s not just making it all up, trying to come up with whatever answer will satisfy me…

  He’s not finished. “And the way you smile – it’s genuine, there’s something really there, and most people aren’t like that. But you are.”

  “You keep saying I’m beautiful, but really that’s what you mean by it, what you said just now.” I feel a tingling down my spine as I say that. I think I’m right. It’s not my body, it’s not the dress I’m wearing tonight, it goes much deeper than that. I hope. I want more than I think I’ve ever wanted anything in my life to be right about this.

  “Yes,” he says. He’s staring intently at me now, holding me in place with his eyes. I can’t move, and I don’t want to. “It’s your eyes, too. They’re so – so bright.” There’s something different in his voice now; the words are coming from somewhere deep inside, someplace that’s strong and sure and confident. It’s a place I think maybe he didn’t even know he had inside himself until this moment. “You know that saying, the eyes are the windows of the soul? Looking at you now, I know it’s true. And that’s why.”

  “Why mine are so bright?” I can barely get the words out. Nobody’s ever looked at me the way he is now. Not in twenty-one years.

  “Yes.” I don’t know how to respond; I suddenly feel warm and a little bit dizzy. I thought that the moment I first saw him was love at first sight, but I was wrong. That was nothing. It’s now, this moment. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do …

  There’s a voice from behind me, and the spell is broken. “Hey!”

  It’s Beth. I don’t know whether to thank her for rescuing me or smack her for breaking up a moment that – I don’t even know the words for what it was.

  “Hey yourself,” I say, recovering my composure a bit. “Beth, this is Brian. Brian, this is my roommate Beth.”

  “Her very tired roommate.”

  The practical part of my brain kicks in. It is kind of late, and it’s not like I won’t be able to see him again. “Very subtle, Beth.” I shrug, try to look apologetic. “I guess that’s my cue to leave.”

  He stands up, reaches over to hold my hand. I feel him shaking, just a little. He’s not in that strong, confident place anymore, but if he found it once, I know he’ll find it again. I’m the one who brought it out in him, right? Just like he brought – something, I don’t know what – out in me.

  I hope he will. I hope everything he said is true. I have to take it all at face value and hope he really meant it. If I hope and wish and want hard enough for it to be true, maybe it will be?

  “I’ll walk you out,” he says. Yes, please.

  It’s still really cold outside but it isn’t bothering me a bit. I don’t think Brian notices either. “I had a great time tonight. I hope you’re around tomorrow, we can go out?”

  He likes that idea. “We can meet for lunch.”

  Nope. “I don’t think lunch is going to happen. If I’m up before noon it’ll be a surprise. How about I call you when I wake up, OK?”

  That’s just fine with him. “There’s just one other thing,” he says, and the look he gives me is basically asking permission. I mouth “yes” and he takes me in his arms. I can see in his eyes – he’s found that place again. As he pulls me close I find it, too. He kisses me, and…

  We kiss for what seems like a very long time. I don’t notice my friends or the cold or the noises all around or anything at all, just him and how he feels, how we feel.

  When it’s over, he turns away from me; he’s heading back into the club to find his friends and his ride home. I whisper after him, “Thank you. Thank you so much,” and he gives me a little wave before he disappears inside.

  Wow. It’s been too long; I’d almost forgotten how good it feels. Just – wow. That’s the only word for it. I’m in my own little world, I don’t really pay much attention to Beth dragging me back to the car, I just follow along blindly.

  I’m back now, the magic has passed. We’re in the car.

  “Sara Barnes, explain yourself! What the hell was that?”

  At least she didn’t use my middle name. I don’t know if I could handle that. “I was just following your advice. You told me to go out and meet someone.”

  “Well, fine, but that was not like you. I saw how you stared at him when we got there. What’s up with that?”

  “It’s complicated. I’ll explain it later.”

  “You better,” Beth is not with the program on this. She clearly thinks it’s just too strange, and I can’t really argue that, but at least she lets it go for the moment.

  I think she’s mainly surprised that I kissed him like that, in public and everything. “You’re not the only one who gets to put on a show. The rest of us get to have our moments too.”

  It’s only now I notice that Jackie and Fred are doing exactly that; they’re making out right next to me in the back seat. No wonder neither one of them has said anything all during the ride home.

  Beth considers my words. “Fair enough. You just had a rough week, that’s all. I’m trying to look out for you. That’s what best friends are for, right?”

  “Right.”

  We’re back in our room and not surprisingly at all, it’s three o’clock in the morning again. This is becoming a habit for me.

  We’ve been talking for a while already, and there are moments when I’m back there in the club, with Brian looking at me, into me, and there are moments when that feels like the whole night happened to someone else, some girl I barely even know.

  I didn’t tell Beth that, and I’m not even sure why – normally I tell her everything. Instead, I told her about that first dream, the one with Brian, where I’m watching him watch me-as-a-cheerleader. “At the time I didn’t know what to make of it. I figured it was just a weird dream, a one-time thing, and not worth talking about. And then the nightmares started the next evening.” Beth doesn’t think that my weird dream is the ideal basis for a relationship. Not to mention, what if he’s got something to do with the nightmares?

  He doesn’t, though. This sounds ridiculous, I know, but I would have known if he did. I realize I sound like someone who should be doing ads for the Psychic Friends Network, but I know what I felt and what I saw. And there’s so much more anyway. When I first saw him the connection was so strong, and then later…

  “Do you remember – the first week we were here, remember Adam and Marie, how they met?” They’re the ones I was thinking of when I thought about love at first sight. I’m trying to get this across to her without saying anything about the way he looked at me, or what I felt when he did.

  “That’s your ideal couple?” It’s not working. Beth is staring hard at me now; I think she’s more worried than she was when I woke up screaming from the nightmare. Mentioning Adam and Marie wasn’t the right approach, clearly. I probably should have known that – things didn’t end well for them. It was pretty ugly, to tell the truth. The details aren’t terribly important right now; it’s enough to say that the words “train wreck” come to mind.

  I try again. “No, no, no. But you remember when they met, right? It was love at first sight, we all knew it. It was like seeing lightning strike. I felt the same thing at the club when I saw Brian. I swear to God, it was exactly the same. Like we were meant to get together. Like we’re connected somehow.” Wow, I do sound crazy, don’t I? And that’s without talking about the craziest part of all.

  Beth scoffs. “You’re a hopeless romantic. Behind that Little Miss Sensible face you put on, that’s exactly what you are. I remember Adam and Marie too, and if it was anything at first sight, it was lust. They wanted to screw each other, that’s all. Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect that. I think that’s probably just what you need right now, so go for it. But don’t try to convince yourself it’s anything more than that.”

  No. She’s wro
ng. I’m no expert on the subject, but I do know myself pretty well. I’m certainly not above plain old lust, but that’s not what this is. I start to say that, when something very depressing occurs to me. I know exactly what Beth thinks about Brian and why he’s interested in me. I couldn’t understand at first what he saw in me, but Beth – I think – has an idea.

  It’s not a very nice idea. It’s a pretty simple one, though: that night at the Halloween party I looked pathetic and desperate and lonely enough that he thought he had a chance, and at the same time I looked – just barely – pretty enough to be worth the effort.

  She would never, ever say that to me, but I know she’s thinking it. Why shouldn’t she? I thought it too. But Brian had an answer, and it was the right answer. I’m going to believe it because – well, I need to believe it. And also because nobody could look at me the way he did if he thought I was just barely worth the effort.

  I try one more time to explain to her how I feel, without really telling her. I want her on board with this. I want her to agree with me.

  No such luck. “You’re scaring me,” she says when I’m done. “I just want you to know that. You wake up screaming and crying because of these nightmares, and now you completely flip for this guy, you think it’s one of these soulmate things like you’re in a movie or something. And you’ve never even seen him before, except that you dreamed about him dreaming about you. Did I miss anything?”

  No, that’s pretty much everything so far. The only thing she missed – the one thing I left out – is those last few minutes inside the club. How he looked at me – and another thing about that occurs to me. I felt it at the time, but I didn’t have the words until this moment: He was looking at me like I was the only woman in the world.

  No, that’s not quite right. He wasn’t looking at me like I was the only woman in the world, he was looking at me like I was the only woman in the world worth looking at.