BROWNIE: An Angel's Visit

by Linda Stanley Dalton

  He heard a woman’s voice call his name. “Bernie?”

  The old doctor froze at the sound behind him. He was afraid to turn around, afraid that she wouldn’t be there if he did.

  “Don’t be afraid, Bernie; it’s alright,” Brownie encouraged.

  Slowly, Bernie turned toward the sound of the sweet voice of his beloved Isabel. His breath caught in his throat when his eyes beheld her dressed in a long, flowing white robe. The years seemed to have neutralized themselves and while she didn’t resemble a woman in her twenties, she most definitely did not look to be the same age she was the day she left her life—and him—behind. Her skin glowed with radiance, her hair the rich auburn shade of her youth as it swirled around her shoulders.

  Bernie could find no words. Tears filled his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He told himself that even if this was just a dream, he didn’t care. His Isabel stood before him, alive and smiling, so peaceful, serene, and a countenance similar to the angels. If he was losing his mind, he didn’t care—it was worth it.

  Isabel smiled at Brownie. “I’m sure you are aware that our compassionate Lord and Savior told me that Bernie is here, and that I may see him, but only for a moment. It is more than I could ever have hoped for.”

  “Yes, I know,” Brownie nodded. “He is a generous God.”

  Isabel turned to Bernie. “You have no idea of the generosity the Lord has shown us. This is very unusual, something most of us long for deep within our hearts. Still, we have just a very short time, Darling.” She reached out her hands and took his. She squeezed them as she looked into his eyes. It was as if time had rewound, and she was once more a young bride looking up at her groom. That same sweet love and affection that had shown in her eyes the day she married him was still there. “Please don’t be miserable. I’m fine; better than fine. Oh, Bernie, I do love you so. It was my time to pass on, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want to go back to earth, to all the struggles and darkness that meet humans each and every day. Darling Bernie, it’s not that I don’t love you, because I do, so very much. This is Heaven, and you don’t have to worry about me. I’m home, truly home.”

  Bernie struggled to clear his throat as tears continued to slide down his weathered old cheeks. “I miss you,” he choked, as he sniffled and struggled to breathe through his tears. “I love you, Isabel, and I will with my last dying breath.”

  “I know.” Isabel smiled before she planted a kiss on his cheek. “I’ve got to go now, my darling. The Lord showed compassion by letting me see you. This is not commonplace, and I hope you understand just how blessed we have been to have had these few minutes together. I hope not, but they may be the last we’ll ever have; that, however is up to you. Take care of yourself. I have to go now.”

  Even though it was nearly impossible, Bernie released his wife’s hands. He touched her cheek, longing to feel her soft skin against his hand one last time. He looked into her eyes, committing what he saw to memory since he didn’t know if he would ever see her again. She was radiantly happy, glowing with health and vitality. There was no more pain, no more tears. Knowing that, he hoped, would make having to return to a life without her easier.

  “I love you, Isabel!”

  “And I love you. I’m still praying for you, Bernie, and I will never stop.” Isabel called as she began to back away. “Please thank God when you get home for allowing you to see me.” Her eyes shimmered with love and a touch of sadness.

  And then she turned and walked away toward a place Bernie was not allowed to follow while he watched, and wept.

  Chapter 11

  Very slowly, Bernie opened his eyes. He was in a daze and the last thing he remembered was Isabel in a long, glowing white robe as she said ‘goodbye’ and walked away from him. An indescribable emptiness, unlike anything he had ever experienced, overwhelmed him. He felt hollow, incomplete, and even emptier than before.

  “Bernie? Are you alright?” Brownie asked, concerned.

  Bernie realized he was in his big leather chair, its familiar feel and smell almost like a caress as his body nestled within its comforting contours. He ran a trembling hand across his face, through his hair, and focused his eyes on the teddy bear that seemed to be at the root of all that had happened to him recently.

  “What happened?” Bernie asked as he struggled to find his way back to his own world. His flesh felt cold and he shivered slightly. “The last thing I remember was Isabel walking away from me. Brownie, was it all just a dream?”

  “No, it wasn’t a dream. You were in Heaven, you saw your wife, and shared a lovely moment that touched us all. I witnessed how painful it was for you to let her go, as if you were losing her all over again. It’s obvious that you love each other very much. Love is quite beautiful.”

  “Oh, Brownie, I wish I could put what I’m feeling into words.” He was frustrated by his inability to verbalize what he felt; besides feeling old, tired. “Don’t apologize, my friend. You gave me something I suspect very few people are fortunate enough to have, something I never dreamed could happen. My wife always talked about the promise of Heaven for believers. I got to see for myself that Isabel is where she believed she would go.” He laughed suddenly. “It was that, or you slipped me a magnificent drug and I want more!”

  Brownie smiled. “No drug, though you did take a trip.”

  “Did I lose control? Is that why I can’t remember anything else? Did you have to whisk me back here to avoid a scene?”

  “No, it was nothing like that,” Brownie assured him. “God granted you an amazing liberty to see your wife that surprised even me. Isabel was right; this is not something that happens every day. You were ecstatic to see your wife, but I knew when she walked away from you that a big part of you went with her, we all felt it. At that point He thought it would be easier on you if you slept on the return trip.”

  “He?” Bernie asked and realized he was holding his breath. Surely Brownie wasn’t referring to God, he thought.

  “Jesus.”

  “But Brownie—you know I don’t believe!”

  “I know, you’ve told me that you’re an Old Testament Jew and you don’t believe Jesus is the Christ, the son of God,” Brownie said softly, “but He was there just as you and I were. Though you don’t believe in Him, He wanted no additional pain to come to you. He loves you, Bernie—He is the Son of God and Son of Man and knows what it’s like to hurt—and He shared your agony as you watched Isabel walk away to a place where you couldn’t follow. He loves everyone, even those who do not love Him.”

  “But how can this be?” Bernie cried. He could not deny what he had seen, and though he couldn’t explain it, he knew he had experienced Heaven. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

  Brownie leaned forward slightly in his chair. “Bernie, you’re not the first to feel this way. Imagine Saul on the road to Damascus, a persecutor and murderer of Christians, when Jesus appeared to him and then blinded him! Imagine what it was like for him, as a self-described ‘Pharisee among Pharisees’ to be chosen by Jesus, to have his name changed to Paul, and be called to preach the gospel to the Gentiles, of all people!”

  At Bernie’s confused expression, Brownie knew the man was not familiar with the story of Saul of Tarsus’ conversion. “If you can find Isabel’s Bible, look in the New Testament, it’s the second half of the book. You may find some answers there.”

  Bernie looked at him with tired eyes, uneasy about the feelings racing through him. Could Jesus be the Messiah?

  “If you want to learn more, read the Book of Acts. Chapter nine tells of Saul’s conversion and how he became the Apostle Paul. But if you want to really learn for yourself, start with Matthew and keep reading, the four gospels will lay the foundation for all you need to know. Keep reading right on through Revelation, the end of the book.”

  Bernie sighed and looked across the room, noticing that only a few minutes had passed between the time he left with Brownie until this moment. When he turned back to Brownie, he discover
ed that the curious teddy bear had disappeared. Bernie leaned back in his chair. He sighed and closed his eyes, willing himself to dream about Isabel, and maybe get another glimpse of her, if only in his mind.

  ***

  Morgan had barely slept and awoke feeling groggy and somewhat detached. Marcus’ side of the bed was untouched; he had obviously chosen not to sleep beside her. She tried to recall the last time they had any type of normalcy in their marriage. She missed her husband, missed falling asleep in his arms, watching him while he slept. While they had a few marital moments of physical intimacy despite the problems, Morgan yearned for things to be the way they once were. The dreadful voice inside insisted that she was wasting her time thinking that way.

  Morgan ran her hands through her hair and yawned as she sat up. She was aware of some discomfort in her lower back and a cramping sensation in her pelvic area, which normally signaled the arrival of her period. It was later than usual, but she attributed that to all the stress in her life. Nothing had been normal, or regular in a very long time, and that included her monthly menstrual cycle.

  Her thoughts immediately turned to her beautiful little girl and tears welled in her eyes. No one understood why she didn’t want Angela home, nor did they understand that she knew what would happen to her daughter. Just as it had for Morgan’s twin sister, Miranda, death would come and stake its claim on Angela. It would come prematurely like a hideous thief absconding with a precious jewel, to steal the life of an innocent little girl who would never have the chance to dance, to fly, to live.

  Morgan pulled back the sheets and got to her feet, the silky pink nightie floating across the smoothness of her well-shaped legs. As she stood erect, she suddenly felt a stabbing pain just above her pelvis, and her hand immediately covered the area where it hurt. She told herself the last thing she needed to deal with now was a painful period. “Not today please, not today.”

  As she made her way to the bathroom, Morgan felt something warm and wet against the upper part of her inner thigh. She instinctively put one hand between her legs and ran the short distance to the master bathroom. When she removed her hand, it was smeared with bright-red blood.

  “Just wonderful,” Morgan muttered under her breath and washed her hands. She fretted over a small blood stain on the nightgown before pulling the garment off and filling up the sink with cold water.

  ***

  Marcus despised the tense silence that rode along with them as he drove Morgan’s Jag through town, toward Brannan’s Point Pediatric Hospital where he was certain Angela was anxiously waiting for them to arrive. He distracted himself from Morgan’s sour mood by admiring the decorations in the Circle, the festive wreaths and ribbons on the old-style wrought iron street lamps and adorning the windows of the shops.

  Marcus glanced over at Morgan who was staring straight ahead. He thought she looked tired and pale. They had hardly spoken, not even when they sat at opposite ends of the dining room table during coffee. He had asked her if she was ready to go to the hospital. Her response had been a smart-alecky remark about being as ready as she would ever be, and that was the last thing she’d said.

  “I wonder if Angela got any sleep last night,” Marcus remarked in an attempt to make conversation. “She was so excited. Morgan, it’s going to be wonderful to have our little girl home again!”

  Morgan continued to watch the road ahead as if she was the one driving. “You know how I feel about this; I’m not in the mood for small talk. I’ve made my feelings clear and I don’t want to discuss it. You’ve won; enjoy your victory but don’t expect me to party with you.”

  Marcus’ grip on the black leather steering wheel cover tightened. “You’re determined to play the martyr in this, aren’t you?” he asked between gritted teeth. “Maybe you should go and visit your family, take a trip to the Virgin Islands, or maybe to Paris to look up some of your former modeling friends. This attitude of yours is as old as Methuselah, and I’m more than a little tired of this monotonous animosity I live with each day.”

  Morgan faced him with an unattractive scowl. “I see—now you’re in a hurry to get rid of me, is that it? What’s up, Marc? Why do you suddenly want me out of the picture? Is there someone else in your life?”

  He sighed. “Good Lord, I simply thought that it might be better for all of us if you went somewhere that would make you happy for a couple of weeks. It’s painfully obvious that you are miserable with your life, with us.” Marcus shrugged his ever-tightening shoulders. “Morgan, if this is the best it’s gonna get, how much fun is this going to be for Angela? You’ve walked around for months with this look—like your face will crack if you smile. Get over it!”

  For one brief second, Morgan thought about telling Marcus her secret. Perhaps then he would understand her feelings about not wanting Angela at home and realize that it didn’t mean she didn’t love her daughter—or him—but she chickened out.

  Marcus stopped for a red light at the hospital entrance and pressed down on the left turn signal. “I want to see that world-famous Morgan Lansing Clarke Cole smile, even if it hurts.”

  “Glad to hear you aren’t asking much.” Morgan quipped.

  The arrow on the traffic light changed to green and the car jerked forward as he accelerated a little faster than he normally drove. Marcus made a left turn and searched for a parking space. “No, I’m not asking for much, and I’m not asking for myself. If you love our daughter even a fraction of what you claim to, I want to see nothing but smiles the moment we enter Angela’s room.”

  “Yes, master!” Morgan snapped. Another stab of pain seared through her abdomen and she wondered what was going on down there. She had no time for such mundane problems as cramps, and until recently she had been blessed with painless, problem-free menstrual cycles. She told herself it was simply the side effect of living with too much stress and dismissed it as if she could will it away with her thoughts.

  ***

  Jeb wore a huge smile as he got off the elevator and made his way to his wife’s office. Even his hazel eyes appeared to be grinning. The chart in his hands held some of the most wonderful news he had read in ages, and he couldn’t wait to share it with Kenni.

  “Hey,” she greeted him, looking up from her computer with a smile when his face appeared in the doorway of her office. Her husband rarely stopped in to visit and Kenni considered it a delightful treat on those occasions when he did come around. “What’cha got?” She giggled. “You look like a little boy bursting to spill the beans about something.”

  Jeb leaned over and planted a soft, unhurried kiss on her lips. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t do that at the hospital but today was special, and he knew that what he was about to share with her would make her very happy.

  “I’ve just reviewed all the reports on Angela.”

  “And?”

  “May we have a drum roll, please, Mrs. Hastings?”

  Kenni tapped her fingers against her desk, mimicking a drumming sound for several seconds. “Okay, drum roll is officially over. C’mon, Jeb, the suspense is killing me so tell me already!”

  Jeb grinned from ear-to-ear like a little boy who had discovered treasure to share with his best friend. “Sweetheart, Angela has absolutely no signs of disease; all of her tests are clean. She is in complete and total remission! I think we’ve seen another miracle. First it was Noah and now Angela, just to name a few. How amazing is that?”

  Kenni held a strong suspicion that Brownie’s presence and his mission for God, at least in part, was to bring healing to Brannan’s Pediatric. Since his arrival, not a single child had died.

  “That’s the best news, remission. What a beautiful Christmas present for the Coles!”

  Jeb looked at his watch. “I need to get back to my office; they should be arriving any minute now. I couldn’t resist sharing this news with my favorite nurse!”

  “Thanks, Love.” Kenni smiled and blew him a kiss before he disappeared out the doorway. Then she went to Angela’s room to check how th
e departure preparations were coming along. It always put a lump in her throat when a patient whom she’d become particularly close to was discharged, but she was thrilled that they had achieved a state of health that allowed them to go home.

  “What’s this I hear that you’re leaving us this morning?” Kenni teased as she stood in the doorway to Angela’s room.

  “I’m going home, Nurse Kenni!” Angela said excitedly. She was wearing a silky, orchid-colored dress with a green-eyed, fluffy white kitten appliquéd on the bodice. “Can you help me do the buckles? These are too hard,” she complained as she pointed to her shiny, black-patent leather shoes.

  “I think I can handle that for you,” Kenni said and knelt down. She expertly fastened the buckles and then folded Angela’s anklets down so that the lace trim sat perfectly above her shoes. She smiled at the little orchid-and-pearl bows on the socks and wondered whether her baby would be a boy or a girl. “There you go, little angel-girl.”

  Angela looked up at Kenni. One of the other nurses had taken special care with her hair, placing matching orchid bows on the sides of it where it was pulled away from her face. Bright blue eyes sparkled and Kenni beamed at her star patient.

  “Nurse Kenni, I’m going to miss you,” Angela said and put her hands on Kenni’s shoulders, who was still kneeling. “I’m glad I’m going home, but I’m a little scared too, even though Brownie told me not to be.”

  “Well, if Brownie says you shouldn’t be scared, then I think you ought to believe him, don’t you?” Kenni encouraged in a hushed tone of voice, enhancing the spirit of fun surrounding their special secret. “Angela, you’re going to be fine. I just talked to Doctor Jeb a few minutes ago. You’re not sick anymore, baby girl! You’ve got your entire life ahead of you so you go on out there and change the world!”

  “I love you, Nurse Kenni.” Angela closed her arms around Kenni’s neck. “Don’t forget me, okay?”

  “Not in a million-gazillion years.” Kenni held Angela close and blinked back tears, coughed to clear the lump choking her throat. “I love you too, Angela, and I always will. You will always be special to me; I promise.”