BROWNIE: An Angel's Visit

by Linda Stanley Dalton

  “I thought I’d walk to the hospital today,” Brownie said matter-of-factly. “The air is rather crisp this morning.” Brownie turned his attention back toward the small TV on the counter top. “The forecast is for it to be clear and cold. I kind of like it that way; it’s different.”

  “Watching a weather report on TV? And walking?” Charlie couldn’t resist the chance to tease him. He chuckled softly to himself, asking “When did this start?”

  Brownie smiled. “As for the TV, I don’t have an answer for that, other than it happens to be on and in front of me. I do find it interesting to see what humans are up to, even though most of it disturbs me. As for walking, it is an attribute of this human persona that goes well with the earth God created. It’s only a twenty-minute walk, it just feels good.”

  Charlie shook his head. “Next thing I know, you’ll be borrowing my truck and joining a health club.”

  His attention was suddenly drawn to the TV screen, to an image of a dark sky and stars. It was new to Charlie even though it was the repeat of a story that ran the night before, and he watched as the blonde reporter identified her location as Brannan’s Point Pediatric Hospital. She was standing near the portico of the main entrance.

  “A rather strange phenomenon has been noted here in Brannan’s Point,” she began. “Over the past few weeks, some of our viewers have noticed that there is an absence of stars in much of the night sky, even though for the most part, the weather has been clear.” The reporter was blue-eyed and pretty, and the camera zoomed in on her youthful, glowing face. “I live just outside of Brannan’s Point, and during the past few nights I’ve noticed that the stars seem to be congregating in one specific location—right here where I am standing at Brannan’s Point Pediatric hospital.”

  The reporter’s voice continued as the camera panned the skies above the hospital. “While I didn’t see a single star tonight anywhere else in the sky as we were driving here to bring you this story, you can see there is an abundance of them above us as they seem to stand guard over the hospital.”

  “Hmm,” Charlie pondered, fingering his chin as he looked at the bright pattern of stars filling the night sky over the hospital, a velvet-black evening sky with a generous spattering of twinkling, diamond-like lights.

  “Ed Tate, my cameraman, will pan the sky while you and I look for stars.” For several seconds the camera scanned the panorama of the dark sky. Not a single star was seen, only the velvet blackness of the night. The camera returned to the reporter’s face. “Strangely enough, an associate of mine in Saint Petersburg, Florida shared a similar event with me earlier. Just as the celestial lights seem to be hovering over Brannan’s Point Pediatric here, their local pediatric hospital, All Children’s, has also cornered the star market with this strange happening.”

  “That is strange,” Charlie sighed as he stared at the TV screen.

  “I am exploring several theories on what is behind this, and I’ll be sorting them out to present to you during my next report. Covering greater Dayton for the Miami Valley News Room, I’m Alicia Phelps.”

  Charlie clicked off the TV set and sat down at the table across from Brownie. He smiled as he recalled the day he found him in his store. “You’ve come a long way from that little stuffed bear I found on the floor of my shop.” He laughed softly. “Brownie, you’ve definitely added some much needed pizzazz to my humdrum life.”

  “Your trouble is that you spend too much time alone,” Brownie pointed out as he downed the rest of his tea. “God didn’t create your kind to be alone, that’s why He made Eve.”

  Charlie shrugged, pushing aside thoughts about Lauren that immediately came to mind in response. “I have my shop and my church, and you won’t hear me complain. Compared to lots of other folks out there, I have much to be thankful for, and I truly am.”

  “True, but that doesn’t make it as good for you as it could be, either,” he encouraged, looking directly into Charlie’s eyes. “You’re a good man; you deserve more in your life. You have so much to offer. Try stepping outside of your comfort zone more often, taking a look around. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you find.”

  Charlie held Brownie’s gaze. “Care to elaborate on that?”

  “No.” Smiling, Brownie winked at him. “You’ll figure it out, my friend.” He stood up and pulled on the coat that had been draped over the back of the chair behind him. “Don’t be afraid to take a chance, to get your feet wet.”

  “I hate riddles,” Charlie groaned and took a sip of coffee.

  “No, you only think you do.” Brownie zipped up his coat, a wry smile on his face. “Go solve a few of them, and don’t forget what I said.”

  “What, no hints or clues?”

  “There are clues and hints everywhere,” Brownie teased, spreading his arms dramatically. “You’ll just have to look for them. Have a good day, Charlie. ‘Later.”

  “You’re becoming very human, for an angel,” Charlie commented.

  “You might say it’s an occupational hazard. It’s the only way I can get through to some of you,” Brownie laughed before he opened the door. “Have a nice day.” A cold blast of winter air rushed in before he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

  ***

  The recliners at the hospital were fairly comfortable, but not like one’s bed. Lauren silently admitted she felt better after a long, steamy shower that worked wonders on her kinked muscles. She had pampered herself with one of her favorite herbal soaps and matching lotion. I must be a very simple woman if my idea of luxury is soap, she thought as she sat at the kitchen counter. Lauren was warm and comfy in her white terry cloth robe, her hair caught up in a towel, and a hot cup of cinnamon-apple tea before her. While her heart always stayed behind with her son, she was confident she had made the right choice to get out of there, to take a break. There were times when she had to do something for herself in order to stay strong and able to help him.

  She wondered if Michael would come home, if her life would ever be good again. Life was not static, but in constant change. Michael was all the family she had left since Darryl’s death; there were no brothers, no sisters or parents, no extended family of any kind—all deceased. There was only Michael.

  Lauren had begun to recall a series of dreams she’d had earlier, images of Heaven, and of Darryl. That was not unusual, as Lauren believed with all her heart that her husband was there. She now recalled that one of the images she’d dreamt was of a smiling Michael, whose navy blue eyes were wide with wonder and excitement as he ran along a street paved in clear gold. He wore a white robe and ran toward something or someone Lauren had been unable to see at first, but now it was clear that in the dream Michael was running toward his father. Tears welled in Lauren’s eyes as she clearly saw what she had been unable to recall earlier. Michael had been running to Darryl, who immediately scooped him up in his strong arms and whirled the boy ‘round and ‘round the way he used to, once upon a time, when the three of them lived happily as a family in the very house in which she now sat. She had seen the jubilant joy on Darryl’s face at being reunited with their son and she wondered, Could I have witnessed their upcoming reunion?

  Lauren pulled her robe tightly around her as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Seeing Darryl so lifelike in the dream reminded her of how empty her life was without him. She missed his smile, sort of crooked and contagious, his silly jokes, and the warmth of his kiss, his touch, the sweet, sometimes silly notes he used to leave for her on mornings when he had to be at work early. She recalled the marvelous, secret looks that had passed between them, the kind those deeply in love share that lock out the rest of the world, and where something as insignificant as a smile often meant everything. As she cried, she felt certain in her heart that her son was going to die.

  Lauren pulled some tissues from the box on the counter and wiped her face. She sniffed, blew her nose, and caught her breath. “Oh, Lord,” she cried as she closed her eyes and bowed her head. “I was so certain that
Michael would be healed, if not by medicine, then by You. I know that I’m not someone special, but I believed with all my heart that you would heal him.” She blew her nose again and looked up as if attempting to see beyond the plaster, above the confines of a man-made world to Heaven, to the very throne of God, and she released words of faith. “Michael is Yours, Lord. I birthed him, but You created him and gave him the breath of life; a soul, body and spirit that could come only from You. Your hands shaped him into the little boy who has brought such joy into my life.” Her heart raced and she closed her eyes, her face still lifted to Heaven where she imagined Him on His throne as her prayers found their way to His ears. “Please hear me. Your will be done, Father; Your will be done. I know I’ve said those words a thousand times before, but I’ve never meant them more than at this moment. I love my son, and I know that Your love for him is even stronger than mine. If it is the will of God that Michael leaves this world, so be it.”

  Lauren had no way of knowing that her face glowed with a radiance that would have astonished her. Exhaling, she felt a sudden and undeniable peace envelope her like a caress, imparting in her a serenity she didn’t really understand nor had she ever experienced before. In that same instance, Lauren knew that if Michael died, it did not mean that she had prayed wrong, that she had failed as a Christian in some way, or that there was un-confessed sin somewhere in her past that prohibited God from healing him. Lauren knew that God always answered the prayers of His children; sometimes yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait, but they were always answered. If He chose to take Michael to Heaven, a healing of a different kind would take place. It would not be easy, but Lauren knew that if Heaven was her son’s destination, she would persevere until her time came to leave this world behind. God’s love would be there, would see her through.

  ***

  Kenni was certain that had it not been for devoting all of her attention to Michael, that she would miss Angela terribly, miss the bright smile and twinkling blue eyes, the sunny, little-girl laughter and golden hair. She smiled as she thought about her ex-patient with optimism: Angela and her family could have a bright future, now that the leukemia was gone.

  Kenni frowned as she glanced at Michael’s monitors. Because of the pain caused by the tumor as it pressed against his other organs, Michael was heavily sedated while Jeb conferred with Bernie, and Doctor Springfield who was standing by in Boston. Kenni brushed her fingers against the child’s forehead, smoothing his dark curly hair slightly to the side. Michael Donahue was an adorable child, and she suspected he would become an attractive young man one day. The thought left a bitter feeling in her stomach and she wondered about his future. For the moment, things looked bleak, but Kenni had not given up hope that Michael could have a happy ending—her faith would not allow it.

  Michael’s eyes suddenly fluttered open, startling Kenni. He moved his head from side to side and licked his lips before slipping back into the sedate darkness once more as his mother entered the room.

  Kenni had not noticed Lauren enter the room and the sudden sound of her voice startled her.

  “Is there any news, Kenni?”

  Kenni liked Lauren and she smiled reassuringly at her as she stood next to her beside Michael’s bed. “No change,” Kenni sighed. “Jeb is conferring with Doctor Bernstein and Doctor Springfield is on standby to fly out of Boston.” She squeezed the other woman’s hand. “I wish the news was better. We’ve just gotta hang in there. I know Michael won’t give up without a fight, neither will we.”

  Lauren nodded. Despite the sadness in her heart and the nagging suspicion that she might never take her son home from the hospital, she was determined to hang together. “I gave it all up to God, Kenni; I couldn’t handle it anymore.” She shook her head. “Michael’s very life has been in His hands since before he took his first breath. I’ll never give up hope, but I’m doing my best to come to acceptance, regardless of how this all plays out.”

  Kenni admired Lauren’s resolve and her courage in the face of every parent’s worst nightmare. She squeezed Lauren’s hand once more. “We’ve seen several miracles recently. There’s no reason to believe that the miracles have ended, that there won’t be one for Michael. I don’t believe it, and neither should you.”

  Lauren nodded again for Kenni’s benefit. While the caring nurse no doubt loved her unborn baby, the little one who was making his or her physical presence more obvious with each passing day, Lauren knew that Kenni would not completely understand until her child was in her arms and gazing up at her in wonder. “No reason at all. Thank you for all that you’ve done, my friend.”

  “It’s my pleasure.” Kenni was humbled by Lauren’s attitude and wished there was more she could do. This is one of the drawbacks of being a nurse, especially with ill children, she thought. Medical personnel—fellow human beings—could only do so much to intervene in the crises, could only perform procedures proven to have helped other children in similar circumstances. There were no guarantees, and there were times when the heartbreak of losing a very young patient had just about pushed her away from her chosen career. Despite the toughness of her occupation, the emotional attachments and the inevitable losses, Kenni knew she was where God wanted her to be. Every job had moments of frustration and despair, but hers provided rewards that outweighed the drawbacks.

  Lauren touched her son’s face, tracing his soft brow with her fingertips. She marveled at his long sooty lashes, the spattering of freckles on his little boy face. How she longed to see him open his eyes and smile up at her, ached to see him run excitedly out their front door once more to join his friends on the playground across the street from their home.

  “Kenni, do you think you could get Doctor Hastings for me?” She briefly closed her eyes in silent prayer. God, I pray I’m doing the right thing! She looked at Kenni. “I can’t let Michael just lie here like this and wait to see what might happen. It’s time, I’m ready to make a decision now.”

  While Kenni knew the child was not in pain, she could not guarantee he was not suffering, only that if he was, he would not remember. She nodded. “I’ll let him know.”

  Lauren touched Kenni’s arm. “Kenni, whether Michael recovers, or God calls him home, I know he will be healed just the same. I came to that understanding this morning and I’m at peace with it. It’s the way God works sometimes.”

  “I’ll get Jeb,” Kenni replied. She felt tears sting her eyes as she left the room.

  Moments later, Jeb and Bernie somberly entered Michael’s room with Kenni just behind them. Lauren noticed that Jeb seemed to be moving a little slower than usual, and the effects of not having any sleep showed in the telltale, brown circles beneath his eyes.

  “Doctor Hastings, let’s get this tumor out of my son,” Lauren stated clearly in a firm and even voice that didn’t waver as she spoke. She had felt that same peace earlier at home, as if God Himself had His arm around her shoulder and was encouraging her to go on.

  Jeb nodded. With all the prayers that had been offered on Michael’s behalf, he hoped for a miracle, that God would heal the boy as he had Noah, Angela, and one other child—a teenager with cystic fibrosis. Despite the very real miracles they had witnessed, there were other children at Brannan’s Point Pediatric who were struggling with their illnesses as Michael was, with no guarantee of a cure or their own happy ending.

  “Doctor Springfield has been on standby. I’ll call him immediately so he can confirm flight arrangements and get here as quickly as possible,” Jeb said as he looked into the violet depths of Lauren Donahue’s eyes. “As soon as he arrives, we’ll work on getting Michael out of this situation.”

  Lauren nodded. “And you’re certain that this Doctor Springfield is the one who should do the surgery?”

  Jeb denied the slight tingle he felt, unsure if it was his imagination or something more, but there was no time to dwell on it. A decision had been made and Alan would be on his way soon. “It’s the right choice. He is a far more experienced surgeon th
an I am, has faced many life-threatening scenarios in the ER, he’s done every type of surgery there is.”

  “Lauren, I don’t see any other options either at this point,” Bernie agreed. “I wish I could be more encouraging; I really do. If Jeb believes Springfield is the surgeon for this procedure, I stand in support of his choice.”

  “Then Doctor Springfield it is.” Lauren gave a little shrug. “It’s okay,” she assured them, “I didn’t come to this decision without God’s hand on my shoulder. I know there are no guarantees except one.”

  Bernie raised an eyebrow at her comment. “And what is that?”

  She hadn’t put any makeup on before leaving home to return to the hospital. Her natural ivory complexion showed all the tension and burdens that accompanied having a gravely ill child, yet there was an unmistakable glow about her that had not been there earlier. “If my son dies, he’ll go to Heaven,” she said softly with a slight smile on her somewhat pale lips.

  Like my Isabel, Bernie thought to himself as he turned to Kenni. “Kenni, if Brownie is available, I think he should be assigned to Michael.”

  Kenni was surprised, but only because the request had come from Bernie. While Brownie did his own thing while at the hospital, she had already decided to assign him to Michael and doubted he would want it any other way. She imagined her reasons were quite different from the senior physician’s. “I believe he checked in a little while ago. Consider it done,” she replied and quietly left the room.

  “Michael loves Brownie,” Lauren said, the first hint of an unforced smile danced on her lips and a tiny glimmer of what Bernie thought might be hope shone in her dark eyes.

  “I’m quite certain that Brownie is the best one for the job,” Bernie agreed, knowing his words held a dual meaning.

  ***

  “Hi, Mrs. Donahue,” Brownie greeted Lauren as he entered Michael’s room. He stood beside the bed, reached down and took Michael’s pulse. He gently rested the boy’s hand back down on the bed and turned toward his mother. “How are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you, or get you to make you more comfortable?”