Questions for a Highlander

by Angeline Fortin

  Vin looked down at his feet and kicked at an imaginary spot on the floor. Shame flooded him for having brought them to this awkward moment. But he thought no one knew, thought no one could understand. He wasn’t sure he even understood. “I must apologize for my harsh words earlier. I don’t mean to add to your guilt. I never blamed you for leaving when you had the chance. I would have done the same.”

  Richard waited until Vin raised his eyes and gave him a nod. “You don’t have to apologize to me, brother. I owe you more regrets than you’ll ever know. Someday, when you’re ready to speak of it, I will be here for you.”

  Releasing a heavy sigh, Vin turned to find his older brother standing behind him holding out a glass of whiskey. “Drink up, Vin. You look exhausted.”

  Vin took the drink and tossed it back in a single swallow. “Truly, did everyone leave because of me?

  “You might think that, but in truth most were only eager to be off to create more offspring.” A reluctant smile escaped Vin at Francis’ jest while he refilled their glasses. It was true that his married brothers were barely able to drag their gazes from their wives long enough to talk to him.

  “To the next generation,” Vin offered, raising his glass in a toast.

  “To my heir,” Francis returned.

  “It's good to see you so happy, Francis. I never thought I’d see the day when a woman was the source of it though.”

  “Things change, Vin. People change.” Francis sipped his whiskey thoughtfully as he studied his closest brother. Time had surely changed Vin, not only in appearance but in manner as well. He sensed through the entire afternoon just as he had the evening before that Vin was trying to put on a jovial air for the family though the effort came up a bit flat. He doubted the younger ones noticed for they had all been less than twenty years of age when Vin visited on his last furlough, but the older set had. Francis saw the worry in Richard’s eyes and Jamie’s, too.

  Aye, people might change, but some things always stayed the same, he thought wryly and forwarded those thoughts to his brother. “Of course, some people do not. Have you?”

  “In what way?”

  “Are you still able to live your life after all you have seen and done and remain unaware of the facts of life right before your eyes?” Francis asked softly.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Never mind…I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” Francis set his glass down, wondering if he had ever been as obtuse as Vin or if the horrid reality of his own life in years past had simply been too vivid to ignore. “Well, let’s be off. You have an evening to prepare for and I’ve a beautiful woman waiting for me. Shall we?”

  For a moment Vin envied his brother that moment of expectation but shook the feeling away. “After you, old man.”

  Chapter 12

  It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

  - Henry David Thoreau

  The Royal Lyceum Theater

  Grindlay Street, Edinburgh

  That Night

  An hour later, Vin arrived back at Moray place and joined his party in their carriage for the short drive to the theater that sat just a couple blocks back from the Prince’s Street Gardens. After dropping off their coats in the cloakroom, Vin hadn’t been two steps into the lobby of the Royal Lyceum before he heard familiar laughter, and to his surprise, found Moira and her husband lingering in the lobby.

  There was an elegance and formality to her dress Vin hadn’t seen before. Her gown was ivory satin gown with bronze netting that was gathered up into little poufs that served as sleeves and used as an inset across her breasts filling the plunging V neckline that went to her waist. There were a trail of bronze and ivory silk appliqués of butterflies trailing from the bodice and down the bell skirt. Smaller on the top and growing in size as they descended. She was breathtaking, the ivory and bronze complemented her coloring beautifully. All her jewelry was of gold and topaz and as dazzling as the gown. Between the necklace, earrings, bracelets over her ivory gloves and even a tasteful tiara, she looked every bit a wealthy marchioness.

  Who was unfortunately clinging to her marquis’ arm at that moment and laughing gaily at whatever Aylesbury had said. Just seeing it brought a frown to Vin’s brow. They were talking to another young couple and, as their party approached, Vin could see the curiosity in their eyes as they studied him.

  He didn’t know who they were. Vin supposed, new members of his family notwithstanding, there would also be newcomers to Society he didn’t know. Glancing around, he saw many new faces but some familiar faces as well. Some who whispered behind their fans and still others who immediately approached to greet him with a smile and handshakes. Within moments, he was surrounded by curious well-wishers while gossip increased as the news was passed around the lobby. Many wanted to know who the stranger was and others were happy to pass on the old stories of his disappearance and death.

  Thankfully, Abby and Richard handled the explanations for him leaving him only to nod and shake hands as both friends and the curious approached him from the left and the right. It made his head spin to have so many names tossed at him, to see the women begin to smile his way once they found out who he was.

  It never occurred to Vin, in returning to Society that he would be once more taking up the title of ‘eligible bachelor’. Plainly, given the number of women crowding in, bachelors were a limited commodity this year. It made sense then that James hadn’t seen fit to join them. For fifteen minutes, he was coyly smiled at, giggled at and, once, covertly propositioned. Mothers dragged their daughters to meet him. They bobbed their curtsies in their white dresses, looking entirely too young, innocent and sheltered to be thrown at a man with his demons.

  The crowd pressed him from all sides, jockeying for an introduction or to remind him of a name or past incident. The people, in themselves, did not bother him but after years of solitude, the presence of such a crowd around him made Vin feel enclosed and suffocated. The noise created by the culmination of voice over voice began to pound in his head.

  Just when Vin felt ready to burst, he looked up and saw Moira smiling at him. It was silly, he thought, but a single look from her seemed so very…encouraging. As if she had faith he would not let her down. Suddenly he didn’t want to. With renewed determination, he turned back to receiving more exclamations of surprise and felicitations.

  The lights flashed then and thankfully, the crowd began to disperse, heading to their seats for the performance to begin. Moira stepped away as well, leaving Vin feeling oddly bereft and more than a little irritated when she returned to Aylesbury’s side. Stifling his annoyance, Vin offered his arm to Fiona and followed the others as they made their way through the lobby to the sweeping red-carpeted staircase that led to the upper levels. Vin grimaced in dread, gathering his resolve not to falter.

  Within a half dozen steps, however, he was already gripping the handrail, surreptitiously supporting himself and using it to pull himself up. By the time he’d covered a dozen, he was lagging behind, and when he reached the first landing, felt dizzy and near a faint staring up at the light bouncing off the enormous crystal chandelier that hung over the landing. The lights flashing behind his eyes were almost as bright.

  “Oh, drat!” Moira cried out, stopping on the first landing. “I’ve left my fan in my cloak pocket! I simply cannot go on without it! You know how hot it gets in here even in the winter,” she added to Abby.

  “I’ll fetch it for you, my dear,” Aylesbury offered gallantly.

  “Oh no, Harry! I wouldn’t dream of it!” she declined, smiling up at the marquis. “I know you’ve been looking forward to seeing the play since you missed it in London. Please go on! I will catch up.”

  “We shouldn’t leave you unescorted,” Abby argued, eyeing Moira speculatively, clearly curious what was going on. Moira jerked her head at her friend subtly, urging her to play along.

  “Vin will stay with me,” Moira announced, casting him a pleading smile. “Won’t you, Vin?”r />
  “Of course.” Vin leaned against the rail thinking there was no chance he was going to walk all the way down to the lobby to fetch Moira’s fan, but was thankful for the break nonetheless.

  “There!” Moira waved her hand, announcing everything fixed.

  Getting the gist if not the reason of Moira’s game, Abby chimed in, “Aylesbury, would you escort Fiona the rest of the way so she won’t have to wait on Moira and Vin?”

  “Of course, my lady.” Aylesbury politely offered his arm to Fiona who took it with a blush of pleasure and the rest of the party turned down the hallway leading to the next flight of stairs leading to their third tier box.

  Moira watched Vin fiddling with his tie and tight collar while the others moved on. Her first thought when she’d seen him was that he looked devastatingly handsome in his evening attire. He was utter perfection! The traditional black formal wear fit him fairly well and the white satin waistcoat, shirtfront and tie all stood against it in sharp contrast. The customary white flower was tucked into his lapel. Though she preferred his shaggy locks loose and touchable, he’d pomaded his hair for the occasion. He’d even shaved again since that morning. Though she thought she like his shadowy whiskers and unkempt casualness better, his clean jaw displayed the long planes of his cheeks from his cheekbones to that ruggedly squared jaw.

  Fighting back the giddy urge to sigh lustily in appreciation, Moira skipped down a few steps and stopped looking back expectantly at Vin. With a sigh, Vin took a single step back toward the head of the staircase and looked down the flight with dread. “You must at least come down this far so you’re out of their sight in case they look back,” Moira hissed impatiently and beckoned him to follow.

  “What?”

  “Come here!” Moira reached up and slipping her cool hand into his. Vin looked down at Moira as she smiled tenderly and took first one step and then another holding the rail until he was standing even with her. “There!” she announced and dropped down to sit on the stairs.

  Befuddled, Vin sat as well, crossing his arms over his knees. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight, Vin. I thought you might be too…” she trailed off with a shrug.

  “I was,” he shrugged as well, wondering what she was about. “Fiona was counting on it, I am told. I’ve caused her enough heartache in this life without letting her down now.”

  Moira smiled wryly. “I seriously doubt she thinks you’ve caused her heartache.”

  Vin shrugged again, unwilling to turn the topic to his regrets. “Aren’t we supposed to be retrieving your fan?”

  “Oh, no,” she shook her head and pulled open her reticule. “It’s right here.” She snapped it open and fanned him vigorously with a laugh before admonishing him. “What were you thinking trying to climb these?”

  Vin shook his head, finally realizing she had plotted this ruse to spare him the next flight of stairs without a break to catch his breath. It had taken him almost twenty minutes to climb the fifty-foot bank up from the leith that afternoon. Plus, they had taken a long rest in the garden as well before going back inside. She’d been patience personified then and now. Vin supposed he should be thankful she had seen through him again and planned this little interlude to allow him to catch his breath. But still… “I feel like a fool.”

  She arched a curious brow at him. “Why would you say that?”

  “This constant fatigue is utterly emasculating.” He didn’t add how he hated the thought of her looking down at him as if he were an invalid. He was used to Moira looking up at him with that same adoration she had bestowed upon him and Jason in years past.

  “It’ll get better in time.” Moira patted his knee before resting her hand there. He started with a jolt of surprise feeling the heat of her palm through his trousers. An answering heat spread up his thigh turning to instant arousal. It was worse than the moment on the leith path that afternoon when the impulse to kiss her had nearly carried him into uncharted territory. This was no reaction that could in anyway be deemed merely affectionate. Damn!

  Unaware of his deviant thoughts, Moira went on, “You’ve come so far already from what Francis has said. He says you’ve made amazing progress. You’ll get your strength back soon enough, I’m sure. What with Sung Li helping you…”

  Her words thankfully turned the dangerous path of his thoughts. “How did you know about that?”

  Moira pictured him as she had seen him the previous morning with his muscles moving and flexing in the morning sun and swallowed. “Eve told me. And Kitty, too, of course.”

  “A man has no privacy in that house,” Vin grumbled. “I appreciate your efforts to help me save face, lovey. I just wish I could save some in front of you as well!”

  “You don’t need to hide your faults from me, Vin. I know too many of the already from years and years of careful observation.” Her fingers squeezed his knee and Vin tensed.

  “Really? Like what?”

  “You have a weakness for strong Scots whiskey, faro and horses. If you had a fortune, you’d waste it all on horses. Betting on them, breeding them, racing them. I know those and even more. It would take all night to list them. Not to worry, though, I always thought you were perfectly wonderful despite those foibles. You were my hero, Vin, and I still think you’re quite magnificent.” Flushing red from that unconscious admission, Moira patted his knee briskly and pushed herself back up. “Shall we move on then if you’ve caught your breath?”

  “If I recall correctly you have a bit of a weakness for horseflesh yourself,” Vin stood and climbed to the top of the landing once more where he held out his arm to Moira. “Nevertheless, you are quite magnificent yourself.” He bent and brushed a light kiss on her blushing cheek. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you, lovey, but I’m glad to have you.”

  “I’ll always be your friend,” Moira answered but inside was aflutter from the feel of his warm lips on her cheek and his loving admission. She wanted to turn and meet his lips but settled for hugging his arm as they made their way down the lush hallway with its red draped walls and crystal sconces dotting the length to the next flight of stairs.

  Vin took a deep breath as they began climbing slowly, Moira supporting one arm while he gripped the rail with his hand. “This is ridiculous!” he grouched. “I don’t have this much trouble climbing the stairs at home.”

  “It’s my fault for having you climb five steep flights just a couple hours ago,” Moira assured him. “If your muscles feel like jelly now, it’s simply because you overworked them earlier.”

  “Now you sound like Sung Li,” Vin dabbed his forehead with the back of his hand.

  “Thank you!” she teased playfully.

  “What are we seeing anyway?” Vin asked as they wandered slowly down the hall to Glenrothes’ box.

  “I cannot believe you came and don’t even know what you’re here to see!” Moira chuckled. “It’s a new play by Oscar Wilde called A Woman of No Importance. It opened last month at the Haymarket Theater in London. No one here has seen it yet so you’re not alone in that today.”

  “That’s good to know.” Vin’s brow creased thoughtfully. “Uh, Moira? Who is Oscar Wilde?”

  By the first intermission, Vin realized he wasn’t going to getting much from the play. The reason for that was the lovely distraction who was seated in his line of sight, between him and the stage. The play was just beginning when they entered the box, so Vin helped Moira quietly to a seat in the first row before taking his own in the second row with Richard and Aylesbury.

  It had started well enough. Vin studied the long length of the back of Moira’s neck and the wisps of curling hair at her nape while he analyzed his reaction to her touch on the stairs. Soon watching her pushed any other thoughts from his mind. Though he couldn’t see her face, the tilt of Moira’s head and the way her shoulders would tense or relax as the actors’ lines were delivered was more entertaining than the play itself.

  Clearly, it held her in thrall more than it did him.
Occasionally she would lean over to Abby, whispering behind her fan and her breasts would thrust against the bodice of her gown swelling over the neckline, her jewels brushing against her skin as she did so.

  He could almost feel Jason’s ghost frowning down on him when his eyes traveled to her exposed flesh. More certainly, he could feel Aylesbury’s gaze reminding him once again how wrong it was to feel this desire for Moira; his friend, Jason’s sister and another man’s wife.

  When the lights came up for the break, dozens of theatergoers came to make their greetings and meet Vin or renew old acquaintances. Vin did his best but couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Moira as she sipped champagne, smiling and laughing with that Aylesbury fellow. Scolding himself for his inappropriate thoughts, Vin still couldn’t help but clench his teeth when Aylesbury leaned over and whispered something to Moira that sent her into peals of laughter. It wasn’t her or her amusement grating on his nerves. In fact, she looked so free-spirited in doing it Vin felt the urge to smile as well. He hadn’t actually been able to summon the expression to his lips, but the feeling of a smile answering hers was there nonetheless.

  No, it was the marquis who riled Vin’s temper. What was it about that man that he found so irritating? Vin wondered. It was irrational, this instant dislike. Perhaps, he was a bit too polished for Vin’s taste. More likely, it was the man’s way of looking at him with thinly veiled amusement as if he knew all Vin’s secrets. Secrets Vin didn’t even know.

  It made for a long evening. One he thought couldn’t be over quickly enough.

  Chapter 13