by Bianca Vix
I never thought I’d feel this way, but now I’m not sure that I’d want to be away from Sarah for that much time myself. I can’t believe that. I’ve heard guys say that before. I always laughed at them.
Never thought I’d turn into one of them. It’s really soon to be thinking this way, I know. But damn. Maybe this is how it goes. When you know, you just know. I think Sarah could absolutely be that woman for me. The One.
And no one is more surprised about that than I am.
I’m stopping at the gym before I leave. I’m not going to focus on working my legs too hard yet, but my arms can do with a workout.
The gym’s pretty busy when I get there. I’m not going to stay long. I could, since I have the rest of the day free. But my mind isn’t on working out. Not right now.
I sit down at my favorite machine, the chest press, and try to get into the mindlessness of the repetition.
I usually like working out. It’s relaxing for me in its own way. There’s nothing to think about. You just do it.
But today my thoughts are all over the place. And they keep going back to Sarah. I want to see her. She’s working at the clinic today, on the afternoon shift. She won’t get off until evening and she said she has to spend tonight studying. We’re supposed to get together on the weekend. But that’s two days away, and now I don’t want to wait that long.
I finish up my reps. All the other machines are occupied. I go for the free weights and lift until I’ve had enough.
By the time I’m done, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to drop in and visit Sarah. If she’s free, we can at least grab some lunch together. If not, at least I’ll get to see her for a few minutes. That’ll have to be enough. At least it’ll get me through to the weekend.
After heading back to my place for a quick shower and change of clothing, I’m on my way to the clinic. When I’m close, I pull off and into a restaurant I like that does takeout orders. I order lunch for both of us. I know the clinic’s likely to be busy at this time of day and it’s optimistic to think she’ll be able to take a break, but what the hell. If she can’t stop to eat with me, at least I can give her something for when she has the time to eat.
I’m walking back to my car when I pass a flower cart. On impulse, I stop and pick up a big bouquet of pretty irises for her. They’re tall and thin and elegant. I know she’ll like them.
When I arrive, the waiting room is nearly filled with people. That’s not a good sign for Sarah being able to get away with me. Oh well. I’ll take what I can get.
“Can I help you?” The front desk receptionist asks me.
“Yes, I’d like to see Sarah.”
“Okay, I can let her know. But I don’t know how long she’ll be. What’s your name?”
“Cory. I’ll wait until whenever she has a spare moment. No problem.”
I’m about to take a seat as far away as I can from the guy hacking his lungs out when I hear my name. I turn around to see Ash.
“Hey, man. What are you doing here? Is your leg acting up?”
“Yeah, it’s healing up nicely. I’m doing physio and it’s all going great. I dropped by to catch up with a friend.”
Ash takes in the flowers and lunch in my hands. Right away he knows what I’m up to.
“A friend, huh?” He smirks at me and raises his eyebrows. “Don’t you go stealing any of my nurses away from me.”
“Like I’d ever do that.”
“Like you wouldn’t.”
“This is good timing, actually. I have the pages ready, of those exercises I was telling you about. Hang on, I’ll be back in a minute.”
A moment after Ash disappears, Sarah comes out from the back. “Cory. What brings you by here? How’s your leg doing?”
“It’s just fine. I came by to see you. I know you’re busy, but I just couldn’t wait until the weekend. These are for you.” I hand her the flowers. “And I brought lunch. If you can take a break, we can eat it together. If not, you can have it for later. Can you get away now?”
Sarah takes the flowers for me. But she doesn’t break out into her beautiful smile. Actually, she’s not even looking happy to see me. Not at all. In fact, she’s looking tense. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.
“If you don’t have any time, I get it.” I’m disappointed. For sure. And I can’t keep it out of my voice.
“No, it’s not that. I can take a few minutes’ break after I get a couple things done first. Why don’t you wait for me at that park that’s just a couple blocks down the street? It’ll be nice to get outside for a bit.”
She’s actually encouraging me towards the front door. Almost like she wants to get rid of me. She seems distracted.
“Sure, I can meet you there. But I’m going to wait and talk to my friend first. Oh, there he is.”
Sarah turns her head to see who I’m talking about. And her face falls when she spots Ash.
“So what’s going on here, Ash?” I joke when he comes up to us. “Are you cracking the whip too hard on your nurses today? Surely Sarah here can have a quick break to eat lunch with me.”
Ash’s gaze shifts between me and Sarah and the flowers I gave her. She looks mortified. Why?
“So, Sarah’s who you came to see.” His face is impassive, revealing nothing. But something’s not right here. Before I can ask what’s up, Ash thrusts the collection of papers he’s holding into my hand.
“Here you go. These will help you out a lot. Like I mentioned, they’re meant for hockey training after injuries. I’ll see you later.”
He turns and strides away. Sarah’s face is full-on red. “I’ll meet you at the park in about ten minutes.” She takes off before I can ask her what’s up. I don’t know what’s going on here. But something’s off.
After close to twenty minutes of waiting on the wooden bench, I stand up and stretch out. I’m starting to wonder if Sarah’s going to show up at all. This must be where she comes for her breaks. I’ve never noticed this park before, but it’s a pretty nice place. Just a small part of a normal city block and it’s surrounded by tall buildings. But it’s nice enough for an urban park. Some greenery and color in the middle of the city.
I’m about to give up and send her a text telling her not to bother when I glance up to find her hurrying towards me.
“I’m sorry.” She’s a little out of breath. “I had to take care of something urgent before I could get away.”
“No problem. I’m the one who dropped in on you. I don’t mind the wait. Here.” I rummage in the bag and take out some of the food. It’s actually still warm.
“I can’t stay away for too long. It’s pretty busy today.” She takes a bite of the wrap I hand her. “This is really good. Thank you so much, Cory. I usually bring lunch but I didn’t today. So this is really nice. Thank you. So. You and Dr. Ash know each other?”
“Ash? Oh yeah. We go way back. I’ve known him since before he became a doctor. We met back in college, and we’ve been friends ever since. Best friends.”
“That’s great.” Sarah’s voice is flat. I’m starting to wonder again if it was a bad idea for me to stop in on her unannounced like this. I thought she might like the surprise. It doesn’t seem to be going my way though. She still doesn’t seem happy at all. Maybe she’s just busy with work. But it feels like there’s something else going on.”
“How was your physio appointment? That was today, right?”
“Yeah, it was great. Everything’s coming together. I went to the gym too and started to workout again. I’m back for physio again tomorrow and also I’m going to start these exercises that Ash pulled together for me.”
And there it is again. Sarah’s tensing up. I can’t read her expression. “Sounds like you’re right on track. Cory, it was so nice of you to stop by. And to bring me lunch and those lovely flowers. I really, really appreciate it. Such a nice gesture. And I hate to do this, but I really have to get back to work. It’s just crazy there today. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’
t worry about it. Here.” I hand her the bag. “Take the rest of it with you.” She’s about to object but I stop her. “No. You’re going to need it to keep your energy up. Just have it around so you can snack whatever you want to. Whenever you can. There’s a lot there, I know. You can keep it for when you’re studying too if you don’t get through it all during your shift. You need to eat. Stay healthy.”
“Thank you.”
I stand up to walk her back. She tenses up under my touch. “Sarah, is something wrong? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if it’s messed up your day by me stopping by. I should have texted you first. But I wanted to surprise you. Guess I made the wrong call.”
“No, Cory. You didn’t do anything wrong, not at all. It’s just me. I just have to get back there. I mean, I really need to rush off right now. You don’t need to walk me back. You’ve been way too nice already. I’ll see you on the weekend okay?”
Sarah stretches up to give me a kiss. But it’s quick and distracted. After I hug her she takes off, walking so fast she’s practically running.
Chapter 13
Sarah
I feel terrible as I change into my scrubs. There’s hardly anyone here. I got in so early today because I couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I decided to cut my losses and get going.
I can’t believe it. Cory and Ash are friends. And now Ash knows I’ve been seeing Cory as well as him.
The moment Ash realized that Cory had dropped by to see me, everything fell apart. There was nothing I could do about it at the time. Nothing I could say to explain, not right there in the crowded waiting room with so many people that could overhear anything I had to say.
And then I couldn’t tell Cory over lunch. Not after he’d just been so nice to me. And on top of that, there wasn’t enough time.
The rest of the afternoon at the clinic was awful. Ash made sure to keep distance between us. Not that I minded that. There was nothing I could say while we were surrounded with other patients and our coworkers.
I wanted to stay late and talk to him after everyone left, but he slipped out without even saying goodbye. That hurt. He always makes a point of saying goodbye to me. He did that even before we started seeing each other.
I sent Ash so many texts last night to see if he was able to get together or at least talk on the phone. He didn’t reply to any of them.
And today is his day off. I couldn’t function last night. I could hardly study. As hard as I tried, the words on the pages all blurred together. I found myself reading things over and over again, just to try to get their basic meaning.
I hope I haven’t screwed things up permanently. And now I still have to tell Cory as well. How did everything turn out this way?
Dating two men at once didn’t seem like a bad idea. Not until now. Of course I never expected them to know each other, or be friends. Let alone best friends from back in college.
This is not good.
Somehow I get through the day. How I pull it off, I don’t even know. I can’t get my mind off what I’m going to say to Ash. Or how I’m going to tell Cory.
When I grab my lunch for a quick break, Jill comes along with me.
“What’s up with you? You’ve been distracted all day.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
It would be such a relief to be able to talk about it with her. But there’s no way that I can. Ash and I both agreed to keep everything secret, and that hasn’t changed. I can’t break that promise to him, especially not now. He’s very hesitant about mixing work with relationships, and I can understand why a lot better now.
“I don’t know how you do it,” Jill says. “Going to school and working here so much. No wonder you don’t have time for much of a social life.”
“What do you mean?” I already know what she means. If she only knew.
“You haven’t said much about Cory, not since your first date. You should make an effort with him. Or at least get out there once in a while with another guy, if it’s not going anywhere with him. You don’t want to wait too long.”
“Wait too long for what?” Did I zone out on something that Jill said? Because I don’t know what she’s talking about.
“You know. To meet the right guy. Settle down. Get married.”
I can’t help it. A snort of laughter bursts out of me. Jill tilts her head at me quizzically.
That couldn’t be further from anything I’m thinking about right now. “I’m not nearly ready to get married. Maybe someday. But that’s way off in the future.”
“Don’t wait too long. Time has a way of going by fast.”
If only. It’s sure not going by fast today. I’m dying to work things out with Ash and figure out what to do about Cory. If only the day would go by faster.
When my shift finally ends, I hurry to get home. I’m hoping Ash will agree to see me. The conversation we have to have isn’t something to be done over a phone call. And certainly not by text.
I curl up on the sofa and scroll to his number on my phone. I hope he’ll answer, but my call goes straight to voicemail.
I’m ending the call when a text comes through. My heart pounds with excitement and joy. At least he’s not ignoring me anymore.
But then I see that it’s not from Ash. It’s from Cory.
He’s asking if we can get together tonight. Saying he doesn’t want to wait until our date on the weekend.
Usually I’d jump at the chance to see him sooner. But now my heart sinks. Now I won’t be able to put off telling Cory that I’ve been seeing his best friend at the same time as him.
But I suppose it’ll be better to get this over with now. Quickly I text him back to say that I’ll meet him. He offers to pick me up, but I tell him I’ll meet him at his place. I need some time to think first about how I can tell him in the best possible way.
I don’t know if it’s possible to not be hurtful about this, but I have to try. And I’m really, really nervous. At the same time, I’m also excited about seeing Cory. I can’t help it. Even though this might not go how I want it to. Actually, I don’t even know how I want this to go.
As much as I’ve thought about trying to choose between him and Ash, I haven’t been able to. I’m afraid to admit it, but I’ve been developing strong feelings for both men. I can’t quite believe it. I never thought anything like this would happen.
But try as I might, I can’t find anything to tip the scales in the favour of either man. I’m falling for them both. I can’t imagine how this is going to work out at all. I don’t want to lose either one of them. Although of course it’s not possible to keep this going the way it is. Not now. Not with them being friends and all.
Fuck.
I change quickly into a nice outfit, choosing a skirt that I know Cory likes. And a pretty top. I hope this won’t be the end of us.
It doesn’t take nearly as long to get to Cory’s place as I thought it would. It’s just a quick subway ride away. I didn’t realize how close it was because last time we went there, he was driving us from a restaurant. It’s not been nearly enough time for me to come up with the right words to say.
At this point, I’d actually settle for any words. I have no idea what I’m going to say even as I arrive at his place.
“Sarah.” Cory’s all smiles as he opens the door to let me in. “It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.”
He’s leading me into the living room and I know I can’t wait or I’ll lose my nerve. “Cory, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
We round the corner and I stop in my tracks. We aren’t alone.
There’s Ash, sitting right on the sofa and gazing at me.
Chapter 14
Cory
I feel bad for Sarah. She looks pretty ambushed. And now I realize that’s just exactly what we’ve done. It’s not how Ash and I meant for this to come across. But there are things that we all need to discuss.
Ash called me
up last night and we got together for a beer. When he told me that he was seeing Sarah too, I have to say I was stunned.
That explains why he was acting so strangely in the clinic yesterday.
I always thought this kind of thing would be a big deal if it ever happened to me. The competitive side I have would normally have come right out and I would’ve done what it takes to crush the other guy. And win the prize.
But this is Ash. My best friend. We don’t do that kind of thing to each other.
What was even more shocking was when he told me something else he’d been thinking about too. He brought up our college days. Specifically when he and I used to fool around together.
I have to admit that once I saw Ash again after I first moved back to New York, those memories came rushing back pretty quickly for me. Somehow he’s gotten even better looking then he was back then. Of course I thought about what it would be like to hook up with him again. Then I met Sarah and I pushed that idea even further away.
I haven’t stopped thinking that Sarah’s the one for me. But when Ash told me that he’d been considering bringing our past up so we could start up again, that was something I couldn’t ignore. The fact that he’s into it too is pretty mind-blowing, especially after all this time. It was something we did back at school. Never something I thought we’d get back into in our real adult life.
It was all a lot to take in. After more than a few beers, Ash and I came up with a solution to everything. Both of us seeing Sarah. Him and I sexing it up again. The next day, thinking more clearly, it still seems like a good idea. And our plan definitely involves Sarah.
Sarah, who’s sitting in a chair by herself looking freaked out. “Would you like something to drink?” I offer her.
She nods. “Yes. Anything with alcohol in it would be fine.”
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t the best way to approach this, surprising her with both of us here at the same time. But once Ash and I talked it out, neither one of us wanted to wait any longer. Bringing it up separately is just a waste of time.