“Thank you.”
He inclined his head respectfully. At the door, he told Noam about the chests and put him in charge of guarding them. Then Yurak instructed him to have his most trusted man assigned to guard me as well.
“That’s not necessary. Really,” I protested.
“It is,” Yurak insisted. “There are a great many greedy people in this world. It would only take one to hurt you with hopes of getting to the treasure.”
“We could keep it in your treasury,” I suggested. “Wouldn’t it be safer there?”
“It would be safe, and we can move it there if you’d like, but I thought you might want time to look through everything on your own, dear.”
Tears clogged my throat again, stealing my voice, so I simply nodded and left him and Noam behind.
Chapter thirty-one
TREVOR
That evening before dinner, I left my room, strode down the hall, turned the corner.... and ran into Mina. I steadied her when she stumbled back from the collision, quickly checking her hair for any damage. “There you are,” she cooed. “I was wondering if you were coming, since you didn’t show up to escort me.”
“Surely you know where the great hall is by now,” I reprimanded with a fake smile, stiffening as she curled her hand around my arm without me offering it.
Carden was right. Scenes like this were all Raya had seen since Mina stepped foot into Galder, and it had to stop. I didn’t desire Mina, and I didn’t want Raya to get the wrong impression. I was considering the most tactful way to tell Mina exactly that when we arrived at dinner. Scanning the room, I saw Raya wasn’t there. But Carden was. Before she could protest, I dropped Mina off with her parents and strode across the room to speak with him.
“Have you seen Raya?” I started without preamble.
Not since this morning,” he replied tersely, glancing around the room.
“I need a favor,” I requested.
He sighed. “Unfortunately, I owe you one. What is it?”
“I need you to distract Mina this evening.”
Carden groaned. “Seriously? I’m not sure my freedom was worth this kind of torture.” He tilted his head, staring across the room at her. “She is pretty, though. It might not be so bad.” Mina glanced between the two of us, her eyes locking onto Carden as he clapped me on the shoulder and sauntered toward her. “You might be in my debt after tonight, Trevor.”
“I know,” I admitted quietly.
I walked around the room and shook hands with our guests, which now included King Sivik and Queen Iliana of Roane, and Prince Enik of Halron. Enik’s hair was artfully mussed, his eyes lined with coal, and there was a wicked gleam in the depths that unsettled me.
I was suddenly glad Raya wasn’t in the room, and that Ella hadn’t arrived to dinner yet. Enik had been betrothed to Ella’s sister Ivy, but Ivy took her own life before the two could be wed.
His wife, whom he didn’t bother to introduce, was a meek woman with ashy brown hair. She was pretty, but refused to look at my face and barely spoke when I greeted her. She wore a bracelet of bruises around her wrist, and tugged down her sleeve when she saw me notice it. I was sure if I lined up Enik’s fingers with the marks, they would match perfectly. And I bet those weren’t the only bruises he’d left on her. Infuriated, I vowed to myself that he wouldn’t put his hands on her while he was in my home. I’d make sure the guards knew to watch him and intervene, if necessary.
I certainly needed to keep Ella, and especially Asher, away from him if I could. Asher might tear him apart if he said something that upset Ella, and I had a feeling that a man like Enik wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to rub salt in a wound. Asher wouldn’t have any trouble giving Enik a beating of his own.
Father waved me over, so I excused myself. He straightened his back and leaned in, whispering, “Raya is not coming to dinner.”
“Why? What’s wrong? Is she sick again?”
He splayed his hand on my chest as I started walking past him. “She can explain later,” he answered. “She isn’t ill or in danger; she just needs some time alone.”
“What things?” I retorted. Why did Father know when I didn’t? Raya and I always used to talk about everything, and now she pushed me out.
“Is this your doing?” I growled.
His face turned to stone. “It isn’t my doing, but what I said is the truth. There is a guard outside her door who has been instructed to do as Raya tells him, and right now, she wants to be left alone to think.”
I gritted my teeth. I wouldn’t – couldn’t – leave her for long. I’d give her tonight, and then go to her in the morning once she’d had some rest.
“Fine,” I huffed. Cutting my eyes at Enik, I muttered under my breath, “You need to warn the guards about him. I won’t have him beating that woman in my house. I’ll kill him with my own two hands if I have to, but I won’t stand for it.”
Father’s cold glare shot to the Prince. “I’ll make sure he’s watched. Also, Asher and Ella are tired from their journey. She is expecting a child. They asked to dine in privacy tonight so she could rest, but will join us tomorrow to break their fasts.”
“That’s fine.” I didn’t care what they did. What I did care about was why Raya had sequestered herself, and why Father felt it was necessary to place a guard at her door. Noam was also missing, but one of his compatriots stood near Father, watching everyone’s movements with hawk-like precision. I was startled by the realization that he didn’t just place a guard at Raya’s door, he gave her his very best.
The minutes seemed to tick by inexorably slow. From that moment forward, dinner and the polite conversations seemed to stretch into an excruciating eternity. Though I told my father I would leave Raya alone until morning, I unintentionally lied to him. As soon as I could get away, I found myself in the stairwell that led to her room. Noam was sitting at the top, and he stood when I approached.
“Good evening, Prince Trevor.” His deep voice held a hint of warning.
“I need to see her. Just for a few minutes.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that. Your father gave me very specific instructions.”
“Raya!” I yelled. What the hell was going on? I needed to know she was okay. “Ray, come on. It’s me. Just let me know you’re okay.”
She never came to the door, and never answered when I called out for her. It gutted me. A sour taste filled the back of my throat. I might have lost her.
“Ray?”
There wasn’t so much as a shuffle from behind the door. Not a swish of fabric, nor the slap of Tross’s feet against the stone.
It was still as death.
“Raya, please.” Noam wouldn’t let me past him. I couldn’t reach the wood, or I would have pounded on it and fallen to my knees and begged.
I would have pleaded.
I would have done anything to hear her voice.
When it was clear she wasn’t coming to the door and that Noam wasn’t letting me get past him without a fight, I finally hung my head in defeat. “I’ll be back at daybreak,” I promised, loud enough that if Raya was inside her room, she would’ve heard me.
Noam eased his hand off the hilt of his sword, a brave show, but I knew he wouldn’t have removed it from the scabbard. My father would’ve told him to keep me away, but he wouldn’t have given him permission to run me through. And despite the fact I was furious, I respected Noam. He was loyal. Dependable. And he was keeping Raya safe. I wasn’t sure what she needed to be kept safe from, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
A frigid gust whips around the tower, but I’m warm inside, perched in the windowsill. One knee is bent and the other dangles, my bare foot brushing the floorboards. Tross paces in front of the fire. It’s dying down a little. The crackling has all but stopped. I push myself up and cross the room to add another couple of logs. Sparks fly when they land.
Tross jumps onto the sill. He likes to steal my seat once I’ve warmed it, but he isn’t s
itting. He’s standing stock still. And then he squawks loudly, zeroing in on something on the sand. “It’s too windy out there, buddy. Not a good idea. No fish dinner is worth going out in this storm.”
He paces as much as he can in the narrow sill, his squawks turning into high-pitched shrieks. I walk toward him. “What’s wrong?”
Tross launches himself into the winter storm. I’m at the sill in two leaps, holding tight to the stones and leaning out to see what in the world he’s found. What could be so important that he’d risk going out in a blizzard? Through the snowsquall, a shape emerges from the waves. It’s a person.
I rush across the room, throw open the hatch, and jog down the spiral staircase, throwing the door and caution to the wind, just like Tross had. Let them be alive, I plead. Bits of ice sting my face as I move. I shield my eyes and inch forward, the frozen sand scalding my bare feet.
Tross’s calls help me find him through the white-out. Still half-submerged, I see it’s a girl. She’s lying on her stomach, strands of long, limp, wet hair covering most of her body. The fabric of her dress is crusted in ice. She might already be dead. I hook my arms under her shoulders and pull her up onto the sand.
And then I turn her over.
Icy hair is strewn over her face, but I’d know those features, the softness of her jaw and the bow of her lips, anywhere. “Ray?” my voice cracks. She’s so cold. I yell at her to wake up, but her eyes never open. “Ray, wake up. You’re okay. I’m here.”
I gather her lifeless body in my arms and run toward the tower. “Raya!” I yell over the storm. “Stay with me.”
But she isn’t with me.
Her lips are terrifyingly blue.
She hasn’t opened her eyes.
I fight against the blizzard to get her to the warmth she so desperately needs. Carrying her upstairs isn’t easy. The staircase seems to lengthen with each step, taunting me, telling me I’ll never get her to the fire in time. My muscles strain with the effort. She still isn’t moving. My mind tells me she can’t possibly hold on.
Finally, we make it.
I lay her in front of the fire.
The snowflakes and ice chips coating my lashes melt away in the warmth. Now I can see.
Her eyelashes are frozen. Her hair, too. Her skin isn’t just cold, she’s frozen through and through. It doesn’t matter how many times I push on her chest, or how the bones beneath my hands bend, flex, and crack.
She doesn’t come back to me.
I’ve lost her.
Forever.
I cover my face with my hands and sob, begging her not to leave me here alone.
Knowing she already has.
Gulping air, I woke and pressed a fist to my chest. It was just a dream. But if it was just a dream, why did it hurt so badly? Why did my heart ache at the thought of her being gone?
I loved her. I loved her so damn much.
It was time I showed her.
I quickly lit the candles in my room, and grabbed parchment and a quill.
Chapter thirty-two
RAYA
I laid awake until deep into the night, staring at sixteen chests filled with all sorts of gems, coins, and baubles. There was treasure I saw as a child, but never dreamed of seeing again as an adult, and treasure I’d never set eyes on before. I assumed someone had raided and took it years ago. I never dreamed the thief was an ally.
Then there was Trevor. The King’s guard, Noam, replaced the other guard early in the night, dismissing him to get some rest and enjoy his family. Noam rapped on my door to make sure I was okay and to ask if I needed anything. Evelyn had inquired too, but I insisted I was fine, just tired.
“Would you like any visitors?” Noam asked kindly.
“Not right now, please.”
He inclined his head respectfully, and then shut and locked the door. The only thing I heard from him until Trevor showed up was the occasional shift in position.
Trevor broke my heart. I sat by the door, hearing him argue and plead with Noam, listening to him call out my name, and I cried. I wanted to let him in, but whatever decision I made, I knew it had to be for me and from my heart. If I let him in, my heart would become a traitor and give him anything he wanted. So instead, I sat and listened. And when he left, I sat there some more. I sat there for hours.
I fell asleep with my back against the door in case he came back.
Tross was asleep beneath the window when I woke. The sky clung to the darkness and he wasn’t ready to wake, but he stretched his wings out wide in a sleepy greeting. “You can sleep. I’ll be back soon,” I soothed. He settled back down, tucking his beak into his feathers. I gathered coin and jewels into a pouch and dressed quickly in breeches and a shirt, my long braid swishing down my back.
Noam had been replaced by another guard sometime in the night. The new guard pursed his lips in consternation when I opened the door, prepared to leave. “Please stay inside with the door locked,” he insisted. “You require an escort. I’ll be right back with one.”
I didn’t lock the door like he instructed, but instead listened as he scampered down the small staircase to the next floor and tapped on the first door, talking in low tones with whomever was behind it. A few moments later, Noam emerged. His hair was mussed and his eyes red.
“I honestly don’t need a guard,” I argued.
“It’s no trouble,” he answered kindly. “Besides, I wouldn’t disobey the King.”
What else could I say but, “Thank you.”
He instructed the guard to retain his position at my door. The middle-aged man seemed slightly irritated that I hadn’t obeyed his orders, but didn’t mention it to Noam before striding away. Noam straightened his jacket and motioned for me to lead the way.
It was well past midnight as we walked to the port. At the end of this week, the Ball would be held. The following morning, Cap would sail away from here and Carden would go with him.
Noam refused to wait on the dock while I talked to Cap, so we boarded the ship together. Before Noam or I realized anyone was awake, there were blades at our throats. “It’s Raya,” I squeaked.
Gill muttered a curse. “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night, sneaking around like some sort of thief?” He told his shipmate to go back to his post. Noam cursed his back, hissing that he’d be sorry for that. Meanwhile, Gill turned to me, hands on his hips, waiting for an explanation.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just... I know you’re leaving soon, and I need to speak with Cap for a moment.”
“In the middle of the night…?”
I raised my chin. “Yes. In the middle of the night.”
As if I had conjured him, Cap emerged from his quarters. “Raya? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I wanted you to have this.” I thrust the bag of coin into his hands. “This will more than pay for Carden’s passage to the Southern Isle.”
“He and I have an agreement, lass,” Cap began. “He works while aboard my ship, and in return, I take him across the sea.”
“I know, and I still think he should work and help the crew in every way he can, so don’t tell him about this. This is strictly between you and me. I just don’t want you to worry about having enough to feed him, too. You saved me, not caring if I had coin or not, Cap. You took me off that island and brought me across the sea. This isn’t nearly enough to repay you for all you’ve done for me.”
Cap scratched his head, looking flummoxed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know you don’t want to take it, but I really want you to have it. It would mean a lot to me.”
“Then thank you, Raya. I’ll see that it’s put to good use.”
I hugged his neck. “If Tross flies with you, take care of him?”
“That’s Gill’s job,” he chuckled. “But of course we’ll take care of him. And we’ll see your friend safely south.”
“Thank you, Cap.”
“Why does this feel like goodbye, Raya?” Cap queried, softer than before.
“It’s not. It’s just goodbye for now,” I told him, stepping back toward the plank with Noam. We crossed to the dock, Cap and Gill watching silently as we retraced our steps.
By the time Noam and I reached the castle, I had made my decision. It wasn’t going to be easy and would probably end badly, but I had to tell Trevor how I felt. After that, if he decided that marrying Mina would make him happy, I would wish them both well and move to the tower tomorrow. I couldn’t stay here in the castle and watch them. This past week had torn my heart in two.
Noam watched as I unlocked my door and stepped inside. He and the other guard spoke quietly in the doorway while I started to walk over to the windowsill. I noticed Tross pacing in the corner, looking distraught.
“Tross? What’s wrong, boy?”
He waddled toward me with something in his mouth. He spat it on the floor. It was... disgusting. A piece of parchment, covered in albatross saliva. The ink was smeared into gray smudges, too difficult to discern. “Who gave you this?”
He let out a coo and walked toward me, wings outstretched.
“Are you going with Cap? Is that what this is about? Gill and Cap?”
He put his beak in front of my lips and I kissed him, ignoring his fishy breath. “Gill’s spoiling you with such goodies, isn’t he?”
Tross nodded and laid his head on my shoulder while I stroked his feathers. “You can go with him, you know. I’ll be here. If I’m not in this room, I’ll be in the tower, okay?”
He let out a short shrill.
“It’ll be okay. You love to fly, and I’m here now. We’re both happy and safe.”
He made a sound that didn’t sound happy at all.
Chapter thirty-three
RAYA
Before dawn, I left again and Noam again accompanied me outside without complaint. If I were him I would have grumbled, given the thick fabric he was forced to wear in the scorching heat. Summers here were intense. Since he refused to let me out of his sight, we walked together toward the beach. I needed to see the tower. I needed to feel the sun and smell the salt and put my feet in the hot sand.
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