The Art of Going Home (The Art of Living series Book 1)

by Nicole Sorrell

  I shook my head. “No, thank God. I’m glad he didn’t come today,” I murmured back. “I know I’ll have to see him sooner or later.” She studied me as she smoothed her wheat-gold mane that was always perfectly styled. In her high heels, she was five feet eleven.

  “You look good. Prettier than a glob of butter meltin’ on a stack of pancakes. Your hair is getting long. Did you change the cut?” I couldn’t hide my smile at what I called her “southern-isms.” Born in Alabama, Tabs had never lost her drawl, or her unique sayings. She always knew how to make me feel better.

  “I’ve barely changed a bit since you visited two years ago,” I said. “I let my hair grow longer, and got a layered cut.”

  “It suits you,” she decided. “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer. I’ve got to scoot.” She squeezed my shoulders. “I’ll be there tomorrow at the funeral. On Friday, you and Zac are coming on over for dinner. Randy’s going to grill up some steaks.”

  Chapter 3

  WHEN I’D SAID GOODBYE to Tabs, Liz Snow seemed to materialize out of nowhere.

  “Maddie Chandler, it’s been too long.” She was my English Composition teacher. Apart from a splash more white in her salt-and-pepper hair, she hadn’t changed at all. Barely reaching five feet and a hundred pounds, she was a tiny dynamo of an instructor with exacting grammar standards. Her demands for perfection drove me crazy when I was in her class. However, what I’d learned was invaluable in college and my work.

  “Mrs. Snow! How nice to see you.” She gave me a hug that was a little awkward yet somehow genuine.

  “I’m very sorry for your loss,” she said. “It’s difficult to let go of the ones we love. I remember how much Cecilia supported you.”

  “Yes, she was always there for me.” My parents certainly never were. Their reputations were well known: Mother claimed to have severe headaches when she was too drunk to leave the house; Father was notorious for defending criminals who deserved to be incarcerated.

  “I always hoped you would stay in Clantonville,” Mrs. Snow continued with a warm glow in her eyes. “We need more of our intelligent and motivated young people here. You’ve been missed.”

  “What a nice thing to say. Thank you,” I replied, startled. I didn’t think anyone here regretted my absence. With a pat on my arm, she went to speak to Sheriff Rey.

  Several more people whom I didn’t know expressed sympathy. An old classmate, Katie Gutschall, walked over.

  “Mad Dash! It’s great to see you,” she said. I smiled at the nickname. I hadn’t thought of those high school track meets in a long time. “I’m sorry for your loss. We were hoping you’d come back. Will you be here for the fireworks Saturday night?” Her short pageboy cut swirled with her bubbling energy. A wake couldn’t suppress the smile that formed on her pixie-round face.

  I regretted not keeping in contact with her. She’d been a faithful friend since we were sophomores. We’d become close after I saw her Neanderthal of a boyfriend, Braden, punch her in the jaw. It had happened in the poorly lit parking lot at a football game. I’d been coming out of the bathroom, and managed to drag Katie away. I’d also yelled at Braden that he would be charged with assault and statutory rape if he ever came within a hundred feet of her again.

  I’d been bluffing, of course. The next day, I’d asked Sheriff Rey the favor of paying Braden a “casual” visit to encourage him to cut all contact with her. I’m sure that influenced his decision to stay away from Katie more than my empty threat. But she maintained that I was the one who saved her.

  “Yes, I’m flying back Monday morning,” I replied.

  “We should meet up before the fireworks and watch the show together. I know everyone will want to catch up with what you’ve been doing all these years.”

  “I would like that,” I answered.

  “See you there, Dash,” Katie said as she moved away.

  My track coach, a few teachers, and some acquaintances from the area also expressed their condolences. I wasn’t expecting to receive so much empathy, knowing that most people felt nothing except disdain for me. I guessed the death of a loved one brought out everyone’s compassion.

  “Incoming, your nine o’clock,” Zac leaned down to whisper in my ear. I barely registered his words as two women, both all of five feet two inches tall, stood like prima donnas in front of me. They wore prudish suits that could’ve come straight from the fifties. It was Caroline Van Horne and her daughter Elaine, who was my age. Except for their eighteen-year age difference, they were identical, with puffy platinum hair and simpering faces. They pretended to be models of propriety. In actuality, they were clones of nastiness.

  “Maddie. What a surprise to see you here,” Elaine said. Her shrill and sarcastic voice squeezed my aural nerves painfully.

  “Yes. Local opinion has it that you’d scampered away, never to return,” Mrs. Van Horne added.

  I resisted rolling my eyes at her. I knew that she was the one eager to plant that idea in everyone’s head. She managed to look down her nose at me, even though I was four inches taller.

  “Elaine. Mrs. Van Horne. Nice of you to come today.” I pushed my words past gritted teeth. It was a struggle to be civil to them, and Aunt Ceci would’ve been proud. She always said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right, and two ‘rudes’ don’t make a ‘polite.’” With regard to the Van Hornes, I think she was reminding herself as much as me. Their longstanding hostility certainly hadn’t abated in the last decade.

  “Oh, Zac!” Elaine cooed, jumping up to grab him in a hug and clinging to him. He patted her shoulder self-consciously. “I was sorry to hear about your aunt. I know Cecilia filled the void in your life after your mother abandoned you as a baby and all. Sweetheart, you’re devastated. You need me now, and of course I’m here for you. Like always.” Elaine broke her gaze with him long enough to throw me a self-satisfied smirk. “You have my number. Call me tonight.”

  Zac thanked her, pulling her hands away before she could glom onto him. He turned to put an arm around my shoulder. Elaine was forced to move away, unable to completely hide her scowl.

  ~~~

  The interior of Zac’s truck had been turned into an oven by the sun. He turned the fan up, blasting us with cool air.

  “I bet you’re starving,” he said. “Let me take you to dinner.” I agreed, mentally kicking myself for relying on him. I was ravenous. I’d been unable to get anything down except coffee all day.

  Zac drove back into town and parked at the old building that housed the Mexican restaurant. It had a reputation for great food, despite the fact it wasn’t much to look at. It was starting to get crowded, and we seated ourselves in the last open booth.

  After the waitress noted our drink orders, I took the place in. Simple tables, metal chairs with faded vinyl seats, ceramic tile floors with darkened lines of grout from innumerable feet. The smells of roasting meat with herbs. The place hadn’t changed any, except for a few additional photos on the walls.

  “I remember bringing you here for dinner on our first date,” Zac recalled. “I mean, our only date. It was the night of the athletic awards, remember? You got the medal for best girl’s track performance as a freshman. I was so nervous.”

  “Why were you nervous?” I asked. “You were the most popular: the best looking, the star football player. I was the one who was nervous. No, petrified, actually. All the girls were dying to go on a date with you. They were laughing at me. They knew you’d been forced to ask me out by your aunt. And because you felt sorry for me.”

  “Good God! Is that what you thought? Aunt Ceci didn’t make me ask you. I asked because I wanted to go out with you. And nobody was laughing.” He paused as understanding hit him. “Is that why you shot me down when I asked you to my senior prom?”

  “Yes. I didn’t want your pity. I couldn’t imagine why else a guy like you would ask me to go to prom.”

  “Pity was not what motivated me.” His voice was suggestive and as smooth as the road to perdition. His eyes tracke
d up and down my body, taking in every detail. I got lost in their dark chocolate brown and felt myself turning red again.

  “You’re so cute when you do that,” he chuckled. His laugh was deep and made his eyes crinkle. It was uniquely Zac. I could’ve willingly drowned myself in the music of it, and died a very happy person.

  The waitress brought our drinks, along with chips and salsa. I was thankful for the interruption. After she took our dinner orders, I scooped up a huge glop of salsa with a chip and shoved the whole thing into my mouth. I closed my eyes at the authentic smoky spice flavor. Licking salt off my lips, I glanced up to see that Zac was staring. Oh, real classy, Madisen. I grew warm. He was studying me in a way that was both disconcerting and arousing. It made my nipples stand up. Damn, he’s yummy! I looked away, searching for something to talk about.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked. I scoured my brain to come up with something fast.

  Chapter 4

  “UH, HOW NICE IT IS to see Tabs again. Remembering the first time we met,” I said. Zac’s features formed a question, so I told the story.

  “It was the first day of fifth grade, and she’d recently moved to town. We were in the bathroom, washing up for lunch. Elaine had her cornered, trying to monopolize the new girl. You know how she liked to have minions to lead around by the nose? Elaine pointed at me and told Tabs, ‘Watch out for that one. She murdered her twin sister during summer vacation. Held her under the water until she drowned.’

  “Tabs inspected me carefully. She told Elaine she didn’t believe it. Said I was too scrawny to be able to hold anyone under water ‘til they drowned. I was astonished that anyone would stand up to Elaine like that. She turned her back on her, walked up to me, and said, ‘My name is Tabitha Lynn Strayer, but I’ll let you call me Tabs.’ Telling her my name was the first word I spoke since…” I stopped and lowered my chin.

  “Since Angeline died?” Zac said softly. I nodded, not correcting his assumption that her death was the reason I’d stopped talking. In reality, it was because I’d been blamed for it. I quickly swallowed the traitorous tears that formed.

  “She took my hand,” I said, staring at my lap. “And we left the bathroom together. I guess you could say that, in a way, she hasn’t let go of my hand ever since.” Zac was examining me closely, so I changed the subject to something more comfortable. “How’s your law practice going? How long has it been since you opened your own office?”

  “It’s been over two years, now. I’m handling a lot of drunk driving charges, estate planning, divorces, and child support and custody cases. Drawing up deeds and contracts.”

  “That’s quite a variety.”

  “Business has been increasing steadily since I went out on my own. Word is getting around, which is the best advertisement here. I’ve done well enough to invest in a new truck.”

  “How long have you had it?” I asked.

  “Almost a month. It’s barely broken in. My old one had over two hundred thousand miles, and needed so many repairs it wasn’t worth fixing anymore.”

  “I noticed your new one has all the bells and whistles.”

  “Yep. Only the best.” His eyes creased into a smile as he peered intently at me. The arriving food provided a distraction from his scrutiny, and I began to eat like a bear coming out of hibernation.

  After a few minutes, my margarita had kicked in, and it gave me some courage. I took a breath to fortify myself and looked Zac straight in the eye.

  “I owe you an apology,” I said.

  “What in the world for?” He asked, puzzled.

  “What Elaine said reminded me that losing Aunt Ceci is tough for you, too. She also took the place of your mother, more for you than for me. Despite that, you were strong enough for me to lean on today. I’m sorry I was so lost in grief that I wasn’t able to support you.”

  He brushed it off. “People always take turns being strong for each other in a relationship. That’s part of the package. It was my turn, that’s all.”

  Relationship? What the hell? I could tell my face formed a dumbfounded expression. I was powerless to stop it. I quickly shoved a big forkful of rice into my open mouth. His eyes wrinkled again as he laughed.

  “I always loved that about you,” he said.

  “What?”

  “That you eat. You’re never embarrassed to let people see you enjoy it like some women are.”

  I shrugged. “It never occurred to me that I should be embarrassed.”

  “Exactly,” he said. His eyes again formed that smile.

  ~~~

  It was already dark when we left the restaurant. Zac opened the truck door for me, as always. He headed toward the hotel without being told I wasn’t staying at Father’s house. He knew better.

  After I checked in, he drove around to the door of my room. He unlocked it for me, muscled my bags out of the truck bed as if the heavy cases weighed nothing, and carried them in. In one motion, he set them down at the foot of the bed and wrapped his hands around my waist, kissing me on the mouth.

  I was shocked. I couldn’t move. He smoothed his lips slowly over mine like he was savoring them. I forgot to breathe. I stood frozen as he slowly increased the pressure. Tingling spread from my tummy up to my head. I closed the small gap between us without thinking.

  He leisurely nipped at my mouth, and I couldn’t resist kissing him back. I inhaled deeply. He smelled like sunshine and fresh-cut clover hay. Masculine, clean, and earthy. Every nerve in my body flared when he tugged my hips tightly against his. When his warm tongue explored my lips, I opened to let him in. He tasted deliciously exotic, better than a man should ever taste. The warmth between my legs began to burn as his tongue touched mine. I ran my hand up his hard chest, feeling the powerful muscles. The skin on his neck was as soft as his thick hair. I pulled his head down to crush our mouths together. I couldn’t get enough of him.

  Madisen! What are you doing? I lurched back quickly in alarm, panting.

  “I didn’t expect that to get so intense,” Zac murmured with a rough voice, nuzzling my cheek. When he looked at me with a smoldering smile, his eyelids were almost closed.

  Oh Jesus, those sexy eyes! He knows damn well the effect he has on you.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He kissed me on the tip of my nose as he released me.

  “I’ll be ready,” I muttered breathlessly.

  ~~~

  Hot water from the shower pounding on my skin wasn’t enough to take my thoughts away from Zac. Hell. Something that enticing should be outlawed. I tried to put him out of my mind. The effort was useless. I replayed the responsiveness of his lips, his scent, and his body, over and over. Christ, Madisen! It’s not like you’ve never been kissed before.

  Besides, Zac was definitely off limits. What would the family think? He was too good a person to screw and walk out on, and that’s the only type of relationship I’d allowed myself for the last seven years. I was definitely not girlfriend material.

  I still tingled all over. As I toweled off, I fantasized that the coarse terrycloth was his hand caressing my body. The press of his legs against mine hovered in my head long after I threw back the cheesy bedspread and dropped between the sheets, exhausted...

  “Maddie!” the girlish voice chants. “Maddie. Come look!” I stroll out through the mown grass, beyond the trees, to the shallow pond that I haven’t been to for so long. Angeline is wading in the clear water. “Look, Maddie. There’s a few tadpoles left. They all have legs now.”

  I walk in to join her, kicking up little swirls of sand put down to keep the mud back. By her side, I watch the tadpoles as they dart away to hide among the cattails and lilies. We go to the deepest part, where the water reaches her waist and comes up to my hips. I’m taller than she is, suspended in death at ten years old.

  Angeline is examining me. “Why are you sad?” she asks.

  “Aunt Ceci’s gone,” I say. ”I wish she were here. I wish you were here with me, too.”

  �
��Don’t be sad. You’ll be okay now that you have someone who loves you.” She flashes that beautiful smile.

  “Who are you talking about?” I ask.

  “You know who, silly.” She sighs impatiently and switches to another topic. “Anyway, you need to find out who it was, Maddie.”

  “Who it was? I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” I say again.

  “You need to find out who killed me.”

  “WHAT?” I cry, aghast. “Why? Digging it up won’t bring you back. It’ll remind me how much I miss you.”

  “You need to know, Maddie. It’s important. You have to,” she insists.

  “Okay, Angeline. If it’s that important to you, I’ll think about it.”

  The next morning, I had to force my eyes open. I wiped them with my hands, trying to hold my memories of Angeline at bay. Dread hung around me like a bad smell.

  Her request overwhelmed me. I’d have to cope with it later. I shoved the thought firmly behind the sorrow of losing Aunt Ceci. My growing worry of seeing Father had started to gnaw at my gut.

  In the tiny bathroom, I sipped the black coffee I’d made with the pot provided by the hotel. I carefully looped my hair and pinned it up. I applied muted makeup, with extra concealer to hide the dark circles under my eyes.

  I surveyed my black cocktail dress in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. It fell two inches above my knee; it had sheer organza that covered a deeply plunging neckline, and the slit at the hem in back. I hoped it wasn’t too revealing for such a solemn occasion. It would have to do.

  Chapter 5

  WHEN I HEARD A KNOCK, I rushed to open the door for Zac. He looked at me and gave a low whistle.