Sweet Talker

by Robin Bielman

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  He kisses my forehead. “I won’t let you or Rylee down.”

  I’m not sure why I cross my fingers under the covers.

  Chapter Twenty

  In Over Her Head

  Pascale

  When I was young, my parents threw me simple birthday parties at home or at the park. There was often a theme—whatever Disney princess, or cartoon character, or animal I loved at the time. My mom would make sandwiches (without the crust because I didn’t like it), put out bowls of chips and grapes (my favorite fruit growing up), and buy a cake or cupcakes from the supermarket. I have the best memories of those celebrations, and the thing I remember most is how they made me feel.

  Happy. Loved. Like I was the highlight of the party, not a hired superhero or magician or giant slide. My friends and I used our imaginations. We played lawn games and jumped rope and played hide-and-seek or followed a scavenger hunt my mom made up.

  I stand in Ethan’s backyard, the sun shining overhead, and look around at the incredible party he’s put together for Rylee. He listened when I told him to make it about her, not what he could give her. Although it is still on the scale of extravagance, the overall vibe is warm and down-to-earth with balloons and streamers in her favorite color, purple.

  The only other decorations are two tents. The first tent houses tables and chairs and a buffet table of her favorite foods. The cake is in the fridge, a surprise for later. It’s in the shape of a monkey.

  Under the second, larger tent is the activity Ethan arranged. He knows how much Rylee loves to color and draw so he arranged for an art lesson. There are easels set up in a large circle and our teacher is currently setting up in the center. When Rylee saw it, she jumped up and down and squealed in delight.

  She took my face in her little hands and said, “Thank you, Mommy.”

  There are no words to describe how the name made me feel. My heart flip-flopped with joy and love for this little girl. It was the first time she’d called me that. I almost burst into happy tears, but held it together. “Well,” I’d said, somehow keeping it together, “it’s really Ethan you need to thank when he gets here. He planned all this especially for you while I was sick.”

  “Where is he?”

  “He had a business meeting, remember? But should be here any minute.”

  “Okay. I’ll hug him as soon as he gets here.”

  I blink back to now. Everyone else is here. By everyone, I mean our families. My parents and Paige. Ren. Ethan’s mom and dad, Grandma Rosemary, Drew, Finn and Chloe and their new puppy, Homer (short for home run not Homer Simpson).

  Rylee waves to me from across the grass where Homer is slobbering kisses all over her face. She’s laughing and smiling.

  I wish Ethan was here to see it. He texted me several hours ago to say he was on his way. Yesterday he flew to Vegas for meetings on his new restaurant there. He was supposed to come home last night, but business associates wanted to do dinner, then after-dinner drinks, then some gambling. Ethan is a social animal and in his element with work relations. He can wine and dine with the best of them. His infectious smile and affability are part of what is so appealing about him.

  And thinking all that, I can’t help but wonder if he’s really ready for this.

  For me and Rylee.

  The art instructor approaches. She’s young and hip and Rylee immediately loved the dozen or so colorful bracelets on her wrist. “I’m all set whenever you are.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  Rylee skips over to us. “Is it time?” She is very excited to use charcoal for the first time and draw a monkey in a tree.

  I kneel down to her level. “We’re ready whenever you are.”

  She looks around the backyard. “Ethan isn’t here yet.”

  “I know. But I bet he’d want us to start without him.”

  Her bottom lip trembles. “Is he okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He isn’t in heaven with Daddy, is he?”

  Oh my God. I scoop her into my arms and hug her tight. My heart is in my throat. My scalp pricks and my palms are suddenly damp. That she thinks something like this kills me. “No, sweetheart, Ethan is fine. Sometimes grown-ups just get stuck at work.”

  “But he said he’d be here,” she murmurs into my shoulder.

  I put my hands on her waist and pull back to look her in the eyes. “I know. And I bet he…” I trail off because I promised myself I would always be honest with her. I’m upset and disappointed with Ethan’s absence, too, and it’s not my job to defend him. “I hope he’ll be here soon, but in the meantime, you’ve got me and everyone else here ready to get this birthday party started. What do you say?”

  She hangs her head. “Okay.”

  I am going to kick Ethan’s ass when I see him.

  “Rylee Monkey McFarlee!” Drew shouts, using the silly rhyming name he gave her when he arrived. She pops her head up with a smile. Thank you, Drew. “Get those little feet over here so we can draw an elephant.”

  She giggles. “Monkey,” she calls back then glances at me.

  “Go on. I’ll be right behind you.”

  With a nod she steps away, but I catch her soft, pudgy hand and say, “I love you.”

  “Love you,” she says back.

  I pull my phone from my pocket. No new messages. I’m sure Ethan’s okay. No news is good news and all that. I mean if something were wrong, his parents or one of his brothers would be notified immediately, right? A sharp, unwelcome ache flares in my stomach. Twice I’ve been called with horrible news. Hillary’s devastated me. Grant’s changed me. I don’t think I can handle any more losses.

  Hey Ethan, I text. Just checking in for an update on your ETA. My finger hovers over the screen as I decide if I want to say more, but then Rylee calls for me and that’s that. I join the rest of the group, taking the easel next to hers.

  I try to follow the instructor’s lead, but it’s difficult to concentrate and my gaze keeps flitting to the ocean in the distance. I can’t get Rylee’s words out of my head. He isn’t in heaven with Daddy, is he?

  *

  “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Rylee, happy birthday to you!” we sing.

  “Make a wish,” I say in her ear.

  She eyes the five candles, and one for good luck, takes a deep breath and then gives a big, full-cheeks blow. My sister is on the other side of her and covertly helps so all the candles are extinguished.

  “Yay!” Rylee grins.

  Cake is served and then Ethan’s parents and grandmother take their leave. It feels weird thanking them for coming when this isn’t my house—and Ethan still isn’t here—but I swallow my unease when they seem unbothered by the circumstances.

  Ethan.

  Stuck in Vegas until tomorrow because of some contract or legal issue with the new restaurant. I don’t care what the problem is, Ethan is never stuck. He chose work and I can’t really fault him for that. He’s driven to succeed and wired to achieve. It’s a big part of who he is.

  Rylee and I are not his family. We’re… I don’t know what we are. We’re important, yes. He’s proven that. But he doesn’t owe us anything, does he?

  Finn and Chloe say goodbye.

  Drew says goodbye. (Thank God. I didn’t like all the flirting he and Paige were doing. She is way too young for him.)

  Rylee takes Paige to see the chickens.

  “Hey,” my mom says, joining me at a table under the tent. I’ve been mashing what’s left of my piece of cake with my fork over and over again.

  “Hey.”

  “This was a great party. I think Rylee really enjoyed it.”

  “She missed Ethan.” I missed Ethan. “She’s gotten pretty attached to him.” I’m in love with him.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet him today.”

  “Me, too.” I put my fork down, needing some motherly advice. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Mom.”
r />   “I’d say you’re doing great, but I know that won’t satisfy you.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I’ll never forget when Paige was born and you said to me, ‘I can be Paige’s mommy, too, so put your feet up whenever you want.’”

  “I don’t remember that.”

  “Well, you were nine,” she says with a smile. “The thing is, nothing has ever held you back. You didn’t know how to change a diaper or swaddle her, or anything else, yet you were willing to try because you loved her. None of us have all the answers, but determination and love go a long way.”

  “Thanks for that, but I really meant I’m confused about Ethan.”

  “Ahhh.”

  “I don’t know how much of my own feelings I should take into consideration. Rylee has to come first and she was really upset that Ethan wasn’t here today.” I chew on my bottom lip. “She thought maybe he’d died like Grant.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Mom puts her hand on my arm.

  “It was like a punch to the throat and I don’t want her to ever be that unsure again.”

  “I get it.”

  “Dating is hard enough without a child involved. Add in our unique situation and I’m not sure being with Ethan is the right thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do now that I’m no longer a bodyguard, and I think I’ve worked up a solid business proposal, but before I do anything there, I need to make sure Rylee is okay.”

  “All things considered, she’s doing very well, Pascale.”

  “And I want to keep it that way. Which means…” I bring my fist to my mouth for a beat. “Keeping things safe and as routine as possible.”

  “Safe and routine doesn’t include dating, is that what you’re saying?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about adding to your family? Falling in love? Having a partner to share life with. You’re only twenty-nine, sweetie. No one would fault you for wanting things for yourself.”

  “I can’t risk Rylee being disappointed again.”

  “Rylee or you? She bounced back well enough. You, on the other hand, have been wearing a mopey face.”

  “I have not,” I argue.

  “Maybe not everyone noticed, but you can’t fool your mom.” She bumps her shoulder with mine. “Life is messy and hard and we face challenges all the time. You will always have me and Dad and Paige at your back, but I’d hate for you to miss out on love because of fear.”

  “Who said anything about love?”

  “You didn’t have to say it. It’s written all over your face every time you mention Ethan’s name.”

  I slouch down in my seat. “I hate feeling like I’m in over my head.”

  “They don’t call it head over heels for nothing.”

  “Hmph. That is not helpful.”

  “Why don’t you talk to Ethan about your worries and concerns? It’s obvious he cares deeply for both you and Rylee.”

  “When have you ever known me to share like that? I knew he cared about me ten years ago and when I got the call about Hillary, I didn’t even give him the courtesy of a quick goodbye. All I wanted was to get on a plane and be alone with my thoughts. I’m not sure that’s changed.”

  “I’d like to think you’re older and wiser.”

  “Older, yes.”

  Mom studies me thoughtfully. “Know what I see when I look at you?”

  I shake my head.

  “I see someone brave and beautiful inside and out. You carved a life for yourself that left little room for personal relationships, choosing instead to protect others. You put your clients above yourself and were willing to make any sacrifice on their behalf. And now you’re willing to give up your own happiness for the happiness of a little girl. The thing is, if you’re not happy, she won’t be either.”

  “I don’t need a man to make me happy.”

  “I didn’t say you did. But I do believe love is a vital part of living and I’d hate to see you deprive yourself of that opportunity. Talk to him.”

  “I’ve got love,” I say a little too defensively. “From and for my family.” I know I’m being difficult right now, but I’m confused. Angry. Things feel too complicated at the moment. “The bottom line is Grant trusted me to take care of his daughter so no matter what, she is my first priority.”

  And I won’t let her down.

  Ethan

  I hop aboard our corporate jet late Saturday afternoon instead of tomorrow morning, leaving my attorney in Vegas to deal with the clusterfuck of mishandled licenses and permits. If I didn’t want this restaurant so badly I would have walked out the minute the shit hit the fan. I can afford to take the loss, but the blueprint for this restaurant is unlike any on the Strip and I’m about to cause some major envy among my peers.

  The flight is quick and after landing back in LA, I drive straight to Pascale’s. I feel terrible for missing Rylee’s birthday party, but the day isn’t over yet and I’ve got something for her. Something special from me to her.

  Pascale, Rylee and Paige are drawing with chalk on the driveway when I pull up in front of the house. Pascale lifts her head before I’ve turned off the engine. Our eyes meet. She doesn’t look especially happy to see me so I take a minute to think about a charming and sincere greeting-slash-apology before exiting the car. Climbing the granite wall of El Capitan solo might be easier than setting foot on her property at the moment.

  It’s not like I didn’t want to be home earlier, but this past week saw pressure piling up on me more than normal.

  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been focused on owning restaurants. Being the oldest son, it was expected I follow in my father’s footsteps, but I wanted to choose my own career while also respecting my family’s wishes, so my first restaurant was in our downtown hotel. This made me part of Auprince Holdings on my own terms. Two more hotel restaurants followed. Then I ventured out on my own with Royal. And now I’m out to prove that wasn’t a fluke. That I can be successful a second time without the Auprince name as a safety net.

  “Hey, birthday girl,” I say, deciding the youngest female in my life is the safer way to start this conversation.

  Rylee drops her chalk and jumps to her feet. “Hi, Ethan. Look what I drew!”

  “Wow. That is…that is…”

  “The happiest hippo I have ever seen,” Pascale supplies, saving me from saying the wrong thing. I catch a whiff of her feminine scent and breathe in through my nose to enjoy it a little longer.

  “She has red lips,” Rylee says proudly.

  “I can see that.” Now. I kneel to her level. “How did the drawing go today at your party? I’m really sorry I missed it.”

  “Great. Wanna see what I made? It’s inside.”

  “I’d love to, but before we do that, I have something for you.” It’s burning a hole in my pocket. And my heart is beating with an extra kick. Both weird and unusual given I’m simply giving a small gift to a sweet girl. I want this gift to matter, though. I want this to be something she remembers in twenty years.

  “A present?” she asks excitedly.

  “You did turn five today, right?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  I pull the jewelry pouch of out my pocket. “Well then, I have a special birthday delivery.” The satin tie easily comes loose and I pour the gold bracelet onto my palm.

  “That’s for me?” Rylee asks, her eyes wide.

  Pascale makes a small noise, a cross between a sigh and a grunt that I’m not sure how to decipher. Could be displeasure. Could be surprise.

  “It is. It’s a charm bracelet.” I open the clasp then secure it on her tiny wrist. “There are two charms on there now. A book and the letter ‘R’ for—”

  “Rylee!” she squeals before toying with the charms in admiration and making my heart swell. “Thank you.” She wraps her arms around my neck. Squeezes.

  “You’re welcome,” I say into her soft hair.

  I stand, feeling pretty on top of the world until I catch Pascale’s glare. The c
rash and burn stings, mostly because I have no clue why she’s still unhappy with me. Did I not just put a smile on Rylee’s face?

  “Paige, can you please take Rylee in the house? I need to talk to Ethan alone for a minute.”

  “Uh, sure. Come on, birthday girl. Let’s go start you a bath.”

  “With bubbles,” Rylee says, skipping alongside Paige.

  They disappear into the house, the front door closing with a click. Before Pascale can say anything, I palm the back of her head and bring her mouth to mine. She stiffens for a split second, anger simmering on her lips, before she melts beneath my kiss.

  Good to know that whatever is going on in that head of hers, I can bring her focus back to the chemistry between us. The undeniable attraction. When we touch everything else fades away.

  She presses her hand to my chest to push me back. “You can’t come here and kiss me like that.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since today.”

  Shit. Guess I’m still in the doghouse. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back in time for Rylee’s party.”

  Her expression is blank, worrying me. “Honestly, I don’t know if you did anything technically wrong. I know you didn’t miss it on purpose, and the party you planned was incredibly sweet. But…”

  “Go on. You can say anything to me, Callie.”

  “But I’m really mad at you.”

  “Okay.” Thank fuck she feels something. Worse would be her not caring one way or the other. “That’s a normal—and valid—reaction considering I didn’t show for a party at my own house.”

  “That’s what you think I’m mad about? Being at your house without you?”

  Now probably isn’t the time to tell her I find her disgruntlement sexy as hell. “Yes?” I venture. “No?” I say as backup. Then I show her my dimples.

  Once again if steam coming out of ears was a real thing, I’d be seeing it. I’m not trying to be cheeky. (Okay, maybe I am a little.) I really just want to break the tension between us and put a smile back on her face.

  “I think you should go.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t do this with you.”