I didn't even bother to answer that shit, but first things first.
"We need to get you something to eat I'll be right back."
I left without waiting for an answer, I really didn't want anyone else going in that room before we had a chance to talk but I knew that was a lost cause, what with her fucking brothers and father here. As soon as they knew I was out of the room they hightailed it there. I got some fuck you looks but I didn't give a fuck. Assholes wanted me to take care of her so I am.
Mom had some soup ready, apparently dad said that was the way to go. I ladled some in a bowl to take back to my patient and was ready to retreat.
"Wait a minute Gage not so fast. How is she? "
I tugged on my hair looking for patience.
"I don't know yet mom she just woke up, her color's a little better though."
"Oh okay that's good, did you two get a chance to talk?"
"Working on that right now." I kissed her cheek and made my escape.
I don't know what the convo was about when I walked back into the room, but at least those fucks had the good sense to head the fuck out, but not before a parting shot from Joshua.
"Watch yourself."
The fuck, what the fuck was up with them blaming me for this shit? That fuckery was getting old real fast; I didn't even acknowledge his dumb ass.
I closed and locked the door after putting the tray across her lap. I wanted to dive right into the conversation but she needed to eat, she was going to need her strength for this.
She ate sparingly before putting the tray aside and wiping her mouth. I don't know what the fuck happened between her eating and wiping her mouth but I was fucking pissed again. All the anger I had held in check all morning resurfaced like a fucking geyser.
"Did you fuck him?" Fuck Maddox, you're one suave motherfucker aren't you? Fuck off conscience I'm running this show. Fuck I was crazy.
"No...I didn't, I didn't, I promise. She damn near flew off the bed to get to me but I backed away. I saw what that move did to her but I couldn't let myself care. She'd fucking gutted me and I needed her to know that that shit wasn't just gonna go away.
She started shaking again as she grabbed for me. Her heart was knocking against her chest so hard I thought it would break the fuck out. She was crying and shaking and headed straight for a panic attack. Fuck, how could I fight with her when she was like this? It was like kicking a kitten.
"Ssh, ssh, it's okay, it's okay, I believe you ssh come on now."
I thought I was gonna have to sedate her but she eventually calmed down enough for me to seat her on the bed.
I stood in front of her with arms crossed over my chest. Okay Maddox, like a motherfucking Band-Aid.
"So what happened?"
She was wringing the fuck out of her hands now, nervous much Suzette?
"I don't, I...they said..." She couldn't seem to form words.
"They, who's they?"
"Karen...and...Terry."
She said his name as though she was afraid I would snap. She wasn't too far off, hearing his name on her lips made me see fucking red.
"They said you were having a thing with Justine."
"The fuck, who the fuck is Justine?" Was she delusional?
"Justine Deluca, your leading lady from..."
"I know which fucking movie she's from, are you fucking shitting me? That was two fucking years ago and I never saw her off set."
"No no they had proof, they said they had pictures." Her eyes were darting all over the room.
"They have pictures of me fucking Justine Deluca?" The fuck?
"Well, not exactly, just some compromising shots."
"And you saw these pictures with your own two eyes?" Was I having an out of body experience? I have no fucking clue what she was talking about.
"A few yes, I couldn't... Couldn't bear to look at all of them."
"When did they show you these pictures?"
"In the middle of filming."
"And you didn't think to tell me this shit?"
"I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to believe it, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Fuck she was shaking again.
"Calm down butterfly."
"Listen I don't know what pictures they showed you but the only time I was with Justine was during filming or doing promos. You were there from the second day remember, when the fuck was I supposed to have fucked her? And why did this just come up after two fucking years?"
"They said you were still seeing her."
"Are you fucking insane we spend all our time together WHEN THE FUCK WAS I SEEING HER?"
She looked a little bewildered hopefully she was realizing how fucking stupid she had been. Those fuckers had played her like a fucking banjo. I couldn't wait to fuck those motherfuckers up.
"That still doesn't explain what the fuck you were doing in that fucking car with that piece of shit though does it?"
I had to walk away before I did something I would regret this shit was harder than I thought. I left her crying and went up to my rooms I'd had enough for the fucking day. Who knows what fuckery James was going to show up here with to send me over the edge. I was strung tight as a motherfucker, something's gotta give or I'm gonna lose my shit. I laid on the covers of my bed trying to put the pieces together, obviously O’Reilly was part of whatever the fuck was going on, so the who were coming together, I just needed to figure out the whys. It didn't matter why though, whatever the reasoning I was gonna go Kublai Khan on their motherfucking asses.
Chapter 23
Dad found me in my room sometime later, I was lying there tossing Rex's ball in the air letting my mind relax for a while. There was just too much going on, and I realized I never really stopped to deal with it all. When this fuckery first exploded my only thought was to get the fuck out, was I running from my problems? Maybe but in retrospect, I am the fucking laughing stock of the free motherfucking world from here to Timbuktu, I bet those Maasai motherfuckers in Kilimanjaro are probably reading this shit and laughing their fucking tribal asses off. That's what the fuck I had to deal with.
Now that my head was a little clearer my new reality was settling in and all it did was piss me the fuck off even more. For the rest of my life I will be known as that guy, the guy who's young hot starlet girlfriend fucked the old douche, and it didn't matter that I believed her about not fucking him, the world had already judged and I know about ninety percent of those fuckers believed they fucked. How could I live with this fuckery?
"The Sorensons just left."
I jackknifed so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. My fucking heart started doing that runaway shit again, and I literally rubbed my chest.
"Take it easy son she’s still here, but her father and brothers had to leave. I had a hard time convincing them to leave her here though seeing as how we found her in that room bawling her eyes out."
Huh, that sounded kind of accusatory to me.
The next punk ass motherfucker that acted like this shit was my fault was gonna get jacked. Just saying.
"Talk to me son, did you two get any of this mess straightened out yet?"
I shrugged my shoulders, what the fuck could I say? That I wanted her here but I didn't know what the fuck to do with her?
"We talked some, but nothing's really been resolved." I sounded like a fucking dick. Fuck my life, how did people deal with this cheating shit? I don't understand how every man or woman who found themselves in this predicament didn't end up killing something cause that's how the fuck I feel like I wanted to end something, or someone.
"It's understandable you feel that way son, the trick is to work through the anger to get to a better place."
Fuck I'd said that shit out loud.
"I don't know how to do this dad, do you realize I'm the poster boy for douchery? Every human being on the face of the earth has seen this shit."
"That's a tough one son but you have to get past that somehow, if you want to salvage any part of your life with Suzette you're going to have to le
t some of this go, unless you decide to just walk away, start over."
That shit made my heart hurt like fuck a world without butterfly, how would that be? All kinds of fucked up I was sure, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it but I didn't see how I could get past this. Wasn't shit suppose to get better with time? I got fucked on the memo because my shit was now starting to kick in. I needed my man Jack, fuck, that's the only time I didn't feel like a fucking failure, when I was ten sheets to the motherfucking wind.
And therein lied the crux of the matter, I felt like I failed, but how was that fair? I didn't do anything wrong, so why was I suffering the consequences? I thought I didn't give a fuck about what people said, but that was easier said than done, no one wanted to look like a chump in front of the whole fucking world. But this was my pops I could tell him anything.
"I don't know how to give her up and I don't know how to move forward."
"With time son you haven't really had time to sort this thing out as yet everything's been in an upheaval, now it’s time to settle down and put on your thinking cap and remember what we talked about."
Yeah, the family legacy one woman for one man like I wasn't fucked enough already.
"But son, if you forgive her you can't keep using this to hurt her. You'll have to put it away she's just as much a victim here as you are. The kids told me what James said." He clarified when I raised my brow.
"Dad, I get what you're saying but regardless of who was working behind the scenes, she went for it. How am I to know that she won't do this shit again?"
"Because we learn from our mistakes son, she's a little wiser now hopefully and if something like this should happen again she'd be prepared. Haven't you ever made a mistake son? Done something you wish you could take back? What's done can't be undone we either learn to live with it or walk away. Those are your only options.
Well fuck.
Chapter 24
Okay time to think Suzette. I hit myself on the side of the head as though to knock some sense into myself. I haven't had an unbroken thought since that frantic phone call more than a week ago. Every time I tried to think I felt a black void trying to suck me in.
I remember leaving the gym getting that frantic phone call and then Terry being there.
Why had he been there again?
I couldn't remember now things were still a bit hazy.
I felt bile rising up to choke me as I recalled the feel of his lips on mine. The revulsion and fear that consumed me in that moment, it was then I realized that no matter if Gage had been cheating or not I could not be without him. He was worth fighting for. We were worth fighting for.
Too bad the realization came too late, and with a price, a very hefty price.
James showed up around three, by then I had left my room to check on Suzette. She'd been asleep curled up in a ball with tear tracks on her face. I stood there gazing at her for the longest time trying to find the answers but nothing came, the only thing I knew was that the thought of not having that face beside me for the rest of my life was fucking unbearable. I knew true heartbreak, that shit was real. I actually felt the pain of it breaking inside.
Turning away from her I headed to the meeting. My whole family was there, everyone except Suzette I didn't want her sitting in on this not yet. She was one of the key players here after all and no matter what I had to protect myself. I walked into that room praying for her innocence, hoping that all would be well. Seemed like my whole fucking life was in the balance. How the fuck had we come to this? For the first time I almost regretted meeting her on that set almost four years ago. Man why did that thought feel like a fucking betrayal?
They were all sitting around the table waiting for me I guess. James that fuck had a drawing board set up with graphs and colored tacks pinned all over it. The fuck, was this CSI LA or some fuck?
"Gage."
"James." I inclined my head, there wasn't much more to say this motherfucker knew some fucked up shit about my girl and I didn't know how to fucking process.
"Right, so as you can see I've set up a timeline and these right here." He pointed to the multicolored tacks.
"These are representative of communications between point A and point B." Stoic motherfucker did this bitch have any facial expressions at all?
"Here where you see the cluster of red is Miss. O’Reilly, let's call her point A, and here where you see the blue is Poole."
The fuck? I was at the edge of my seat already and he hadn't even gotten started.
"What we have here is a series of calls between O’Reilly and Poole and vice versa. Now we can surmise that the two had to work together because of Miss. Sorenson but my sources confirm that there's way too much interaction for that purpose. So, first question, why the back and forth? Since we can't go back and listen in on past conversations we did the next best thing. All communication devices belonging to the two parties are now being monitored."
"Is that legal?"
He gave Tiffany a look like she was stupid and that shut her right the fuck up. I didn't even want to fucking know, whatever works.
"Right; next order of business when we follow the trail here." He pointed to some yellow tacks, what the fuck? Is this Sesame Street or some fuck? Just saying.
"These two have been communicating with this gentleman; a man by the name of Humphreys. If you notice the timeline, you will see the contacts between the three really heated up about a week before and up until a couple days after the story broke. At which time all communication ceased. This is all just surface stuff, so we started digging deeper and what we've found so far is that."
He took an erasable marker and drew a line from the red dots to the yellow.
"These two are related, O’Reilly and Humphreys are related by marriage. Humphreys is a washed up alcoholic wanna be photographer. This was his mother lode, on the day of let's call it operation cluster fuck."
No, let's not.
"Communication between the three was hot, cell records triangulation show that these two." He drew a line from Humphreys to Poole. "Were in the vicinity of Miss. Sorenson's gym in separate cars of course but both within walking distance."
I'm sitting here livid as fuck not sure what to think. All I keep seeing is butterfly in that car. Knowing what I know now it's finally hitting home that someone set out to do this to destroy us but why? And who the fuck was the real target? Her, me, or both of us?
And why the fuck has Karen O’Reilly been calling me nonstop for the past few days?
The beast was raging again fighting to get out. If I set that motherfucker free there would be nothing but fucking chaos, from here into the motherfucking ether.
Front page? This shit wouldn't hit the front pages this motherfuck would consume the whole fucking thing.
"I want everything you get when you get it, they took this shit to the public, well let it play out there but not on their terms on mine. I want to bury these two fucks so deep even sonar can't find them." I had to get the fuck out of the room as my family started asking questions.
I'd heard enough for the day I just needed to see my girl and my dog. Fucking sap.
She was finally awake when I collected Rex and headed to her room. She looked so fucking small and vulnerable laying there my hoodie swallowing her small frame. She looked up when she noticed me standing there watching her. It was time.
"Let's take a walk."
Chapter 25
The first ten minutes of our walk was spent in silence, neither of us seemed to know where to begin so we watched Rex's antics as he was let off his leash.
My family owned a shit load of property and since the back butted against private forestry there was no worry of the fucking vultures seeing us. Mom was convinced we'd seen the last of them in these parts but I knew better, I'm sure some enterprising soul would try to find a way in.
I wondered whether or not I should tell her about meeting with James and what was found, but that didn't seem like a good place to start.
Two weeks ago she was the love of my life and now I didn't even know how the fuck to talk to her. Should I lead with anger? Did I lash out in the rage that had been my constant companion for so long now? Or do I show compassion for the girl I had met and fallen in love with?
But was she the same girl?
"Are you ever going to forgive me?"
Alrighty then at least she had the guts to start it off, looks like my balls were still in hiding.
"Don't ask me that right now." She bit her lip and nodded her head weakly. I could see she wasn't too far from crying but tears wouldn't get in my way this time.
"What you did was fucked up, you took something from me that I don't think can ever be replaced. There's more to this than you believing a pack of lies. You didn't trust me; we were supposed to be a team remember? We were going to be different, not like all the rest with their affairs and scandals, lives played out in the fucking rags. All that' gone now we 'are' just like everyone else and that's something I never wanted to be.
Acting's just my job, it's not my life that whole scene was never me, we went out of our way not to live our lives in front of the world and you exposed us in the worst fucking way possible."
She shuddered at my raised voice, steps faltering. I had thought I wanted this, to have it out with her, but now faced with the situation I couldn't get pass the anger. It didn't matter what the investigation unearthed. The other players in this farce were nonentities this was between her and I and what her actions did to us, what it took from us.
There was so much at play here, things I had hardly allowed myself to think about in the beginning of this shit storm, worst of it being that from now on my life would be under a microscope, unless I moved to Tibet and became a fucking monk. If I wanted to salvage my life this part of it, I was gonna have to make a huge sacrifice, the woman who owned my heart, or my pride. Fuck it all I can learn to ohm.
I couldn't breathe; walking next to Gage felt surreal I still didn't have my bearings as yet. First waking up in his family's home not having any recollection of getting there, seeing my Rex, and then his wonderful face was there, that face that has been haunting my dreams. I wanted to cry out in joy until I saw his eyes.
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