Gerry Bartlett - Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

by Gerry Bartlett

  “Well, sure. So glad I could help. I just had to fire one of my weekend night clerks. You can go work for me. How’s that?” I grinned, knowing that Florence da Vinci Mainwaring had never clerked in a store a day in her life.

  “I’ll do it. Even if I have to”—she shuddered—“make change.”

  “Great. Take off. Tell Richard I begged you to help me. Pack and arrange to ship your clothes home. You and Rich can shift out of here right after sunset tomorrow. Sorry you’ll miss the Grammys, though. Ray got you seats in the balcony, first row.”

  “Now I’m sad and upset. I’ll watch you on TV. Everyone in your shop will watch with me.” Flo hugged me. “You really are my best friend. But I must save my marriage. If the whole Clan is here with Angus, Richard might get hurt if he tries to start something. I can’t let that happen.”

  “Of course not. So go. I’ll call Ian and see if he’s got someone to send me.” I sat on the bed.

  “Will you be all right? When will Valdez be back?” Flo paused in the doorway.

  “Any minute, I’m sure. Head out. I’m fine.” I waved her out and hit speed dial for Ian. I heard the hall door close just as Ian picked up.

  “Gloriana, I was hoping to hear from you. I took the liberty of going ahead and sending someone to you. He should be there momentarily.”

  “Thanks, Ian. I’m cutting it pretty close to dawn.” I glanced at the clock. “Uh, have you seen Ray tonight?”

  “Yes, he just left here. We had a nice talk. And I sold him a new supplement to try.” Ian chuckled. “Relax, Glory. I can practically hear you grinding your teeth through the phone. Ray’s being cautious. I told him to wait until after his awards show to try it.”

  “Well, that’s just swell of you, Ian. Thanks a lot.” I shut the phone before I could say more. When there was a knock on the hall door, I threw a robe on over my underwear and went to answer it. I looked through the peephole and saw a tall handsome man standing there. Oh, yeah, Ian had said the mortal he had sent was a “he.” Hmm.

  I heard a moan from Nathan’s bedroom. Okay. Still action going on in there, apparently. And now I had my own boy toy. My game was definitely not anything Nate and his playmate would imagine playing.

  A mere mortal? Sure, I could handle him. I’d just have to make certain this guy didn’t come with a stake in his pocket. I threw open the door and looked him over. Cute. So the search wouldn’t be a hardship. At all.

  Sixteen

  His name was Bart. Short for Bartholomew. He was out of breath from running up twenty-two flights of stairs per Ian’s instructions. He glowed with good health and reeked of AB negative. I was beginning to wonder if every vampire in town had a Glory dossier. I might as well put up a Facebook page with my favorite things and be done with it. Bonus points for Bart. He was about to jump out of his gel-pumped running shoes he was so eager to do whatever my little fangs desired. Another vamp groupie.

  “Let’s keep this simple, Bart. Just sit next to me on the couch and hand me your wrist.” I kept one eye on the balcony and one on Nate’s bedroom door. I was about to take my donor into my bedroom, when he stepped a little too close and eyed my cleavage. No, we’d stay out here.

  If Ray’s buddy and his date came out and caught me with my fangs down, I’d just whammy the woman and be done with it. Nate had seen it all before and it grossed him out unless he thought it was vamp foreplay and he was the player who was finally going to get into my bed. Long story.

  “Please, Ms. St. Clair, if you’d just take me at the neck, I’d be really, really grateful. Or I could make you feel good, if you know what I mean.” Bart ventured a hand toward where my robe had slipped open over my knees.

  I froze him with a look that said “stop” and made sure my robe covered me down to my ankles. “I already feel just fine, thank you, Bart. I’m sure Ian explained that you’re just a donor here. I have a man in my life, a fiancé, who gives me everything I need in that other department.” Had Ian been pimping as well as providing his other services? Jeez.

  “Okay, I get it.” Bart managed to look suitably crushed, but he still wasn’t giving up on the neck thing. He ripped his tank top off over his head and tossed it on the floor.

  Wow. First Nate, now Bart. I was getting a clinic on how a buff male bod should look. Not that Jerry and Ray weren’t built. They were. But neither had been fanatics about working out in their mortal lives. And Valdez . . . The times I’d seen him in the altogether had been brief and I’d tried not to stare because it would have been violating some kind of friendship thing. If there was a next time, though, I was going to have to do the full tour. I shook off the thought and focused.

  “What the hell are you doing, Bart?”

  “Nothing you don’t want, Ms. St. Clair. Ian says I’m your very favorite blood type. Is he right?” Bart stared at me with green eyes the color of old money. His dark hair was cut short and he either shaved his chest or didn’t grow hair anywhere but on his head. Oops, I was checking out his body again.

  “Ian’s right. So what?” I picked up his wrist and inhaled. Oh, man, but I loved his type. My fangs zipped into position.

  “I’m doing you a favor, aren’t I? Why not hold me close and hit me in the jugular?” Bart smiled, an even dimmer bulb than Trina had been.

  Didn’t these mortals have anything more in their lives than an obsession with vampires? I read Bart’s mind—except for an interest in what I might or might not be wearing under my terry robe, apparently not.

  “Listen, Bart. I’ve had a rough night. Sorry if this isn’t the joyride you fantasized about, but I’m hoping Ian compensates you well for this. Now, let’s get this over with. Where’s my supplement?”

  “I’ll tell you if you’ll kiss me first and let me feel your fangs with my tongue.” Bart leaned toward me, mouth open like a trout going for the goodies on the end of a hook.

  That did it. I used the whammy, then checked the backpack Bart had worn in to the suite and pulled out the distinctive bottle of my supplement. I set it on the coffee table, then turned to fish face.

  “Now, Bart, you’re going to give me your wrist. Feel lucky I didn’t rip out your throat for being so insolent to a badass vampire. Now, snap out of it.” I kept my face stern as he blinked, then shook his head.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. St. Clair. Please don’t tell the master that I spoke to you like that.” He held out his arm, his hand shaking.

  “It’s our little secret, Bart. But I want to warn you.” I held his wrist and showed him that my fangs were full out. “Vampires come in all shapes and sizes and we may not look dangerous, but we always are. I could have taken offense just now. And, if my fiancé had heard you . . .” I faked a shudder. “He’d have tossed you right off that balcony.”

  “I—I didn’t think . . .” He glanced at the balcony, suddenly pale. “You won’t say anything to him, will you?”

  “Not if you just hush and let me get on with this.” I pulled his wrist to my lips.

  “Y-yes, ma’am.” He closed his eyes when I sank my teeth into the sweet spot and drew. “Oh, my God, but this is the good part. Uh, excuse me. I’ll shut up now.”

  I wasn’t about to stop what I was doing to chitchat. I enjoyed the rush. I’d forgotten to weigh myself before Bart had arrived, but I knew my target weight for tomorrow night. If this and the supplement got me there, then the red dress should fit perfectly. After that, it was home to Austin and back to the old Glory.

  I felt the surge that told me I’d probably had enough and pulled out, licking the punctures closed and patting Bart on the shoulder. He didn’t open his eyes and I leaned closer, touching his cheek to make sure I hadn’t accidentally taken too much.

  “What’s this? Are you picking up mortals and bringing them home with you now, Gloriana?”

  “Knew she was a whore. Look at him, almost naked. Bet it isn’t just his blood she enjoyed. What did I tell you, son?”

  “Hush, Ma. Da, let Glory explain.”

  I looked u
p and saw Jerry and his parents on the balcony. Oh, boy. My warning to Bart could not have been more timely. Mag looked like a thirtysomething schoolmistress with her stern mouth and sharp features. Her green and black wrap dress and high heels, though, could have come straight out of the pages of a glossy fashion magazine.

  Angus, the laird of Clan Campbell, was a slightly shorter and sturdier version of Jerry with the same dark hair and dark eyes. Father and son could have passed for brothers. But that was the way of the Campbell men, turned vampire when they hit the age of thirty. Both of them wore dark cotton shirts and jeans but Jerry’s were obviously Rodeo Drive and hugged his butt, while Angus could have benefited from a tighter fit.

  Shouldn’t have noticed that. Not with the hard stares I was getting from two out of three on the balcony. Of course my Jerry still defended me and tried to look calm and unconcerned, even though he probably didn’t like the scene they’d stumbled upon any more than his parents did.

  I stood and jerked Bart to his feet. He quickly recovered, his eyes bugging out when he saw the group on the balcony. That convinced me he’d been faking weakness to try to get some sympathy from me and maybe a little mouth-to-mouth.

  “My donor was just leaving.” I handed Bart his shirt and backpack, dragged him to the door and shoved him out into the hall. “Tell Ian thanks. You were fine. No complaints.”

  “Sure. Bye.”

  I slammed the door and locked it, then glanced at Nate’s closed bedroom door. “There are two mortals in there. Maybe this isn’t a good time or place for this, uh, meeting.”

  “It’ll have to do, lass. We need to know more about Ian MacDonald and apparently you’ve been consorting with him and his minions.” Angus nodded toward the hall door. “That mortal bein’ one of them if I read him aright.”

  “He’s harmless. A blood donor, nothing more. Ian has several on his payroll.” I gestured toward my bedroom. Of course Angus had read Bart’s mind. They all had. And Mag knew I hadn’t been whoring with the idiot. I gave her a cool look.

  “Let’s go into my bedroom. At least we won’t be in danger of anyone walking in on us. Jerry?” I held my hand out to him.

  “Thank you, Gloriana. I’m sorry we had to drop in on you like this, but my parents were in a hurry to get this thing with MacDonald going.” Jerry took my hand and dropped a kiss on my lips. “Are you all right? You look flushed.”

  “Sure, I’m just a little high. Ian’s donors come after exercising. It gives you a rush. Something to do with endorphins.” I glanced at Jerry’s mother. “You should try it sometime, Mag. Since you make a habit of drinking from mortals anyway. As you know, it’s not my usual thing.” I grabbed my supplement and led the way into the bedroom. Once there with the door safely closed, I pointed to the two chairs grouped around a table in the corner.

  “I wouldn’t bring a strange mortal into my home, Gloriana. It’s irresponsible.” Mag looked at the king-size bed and sniffed. “This is the room you share with that Israel Caine, isn’t it?” She smiled at Jerry. “I hear you’re engaged to him.”

  “It’s a sham, Ma. I told you that.” Jerry looked everywhere but at the bed.

  “She wears his ring.” Mag nodded toward my left hand.

  “Window dressing. We had a Grammy thing tonight.” I pulled it off and set it on the dresser. “Now, please, Angus, Mag, won’t you sit?” I’d just about quit calling them lord and lady over a century ago. It didn’t seem to win me any points and Jerry had said it was okay to drop the titles. Being in America had given us both a new perspective on the whole royalty issue. The fact that it bugged the hell out of Mag when I didn’t bother to give her the proper “respect” just sweetened the deal.

  Angus and Mag sat. Jerry gestured that I should sit beside him on the bed facing them. Well, why not? Guess Jerry had decided he was going to make the bed his turf now. So I sat, well aware that I was at a disadvantage in my robe and not much else. But the looks on their faces didn’t give me time for a wardrobe change.

  “What do you want to know?” I’d be cooperative for Jerry’s sake, but I wasn’t about to offer information they didn’t ask for.

  “Any idea how many men MacDonald has?” Angus leaned forward.

  “The most I’ve seen is six bodyguards. They all look like surfers.” I saw a puzzled frown on both Mag’s and Angus’s faces. “Tanned, blond, built. Like they spent a lot of time in the sun in their mortal lives. Anyway, they hang out on the beach in front of Ian’s house. They’re all vampires. I don’t believe I saw a single shifter or other kind of paranormal in his crew. But he may have some as day guards. Just like I do.” Which reminded me that Valdez wasn’t back. I threw up a block. Oops. Too late. Jerry gave me a narrow-eyed look but, with his parents there, I knew the questions would come later.

  “Any other security?” Jerry pulled a knife from the scabbard on his belt and toyed with it. “Did you see any weapons?”

  “What? You think he would display stakes or something?” I shook my head. “Honestly, you guys need to rethink this. Ian is all about the future. He’s computerized, on the Web. He’s not going to worry about the Campbells. He’s too busy trying to figure out how to stay awake during the day.”

  “The hell you say.” Angus glanced at his wife. “Only a fool would believe in such a claim.”

  “Maybe so, Angus, but I’ve seen a video. I’m not sure it’s not some kind of fabrication, but Ray—Israel Caine, the vampire I’m mentoring—believes in it so strongly he’s willing to try Ian’s special supplements.” I sighed, leaned on Jerry a minute and felt his arm go around me. “I’m afraid he’ll go up in flames, but Ian swears his stuff works. That he’s been out during the day himself and lived to tell the tale.”

  “Nonsense. Vampires out in daylight? It’s a fantasy we’ve all had, to see the sun again, but know better than to believe in. Especially coming from the likes of a MacDonald.” Mag jumped up. “Angus, maybe we won’t have to risk an attack. Bide your time and this MacDonald will destroy himself.”

  “It’s possible, Ma.” Jerry squeezed my shoulders. “Valdez tells me that Glory has been taking Ian’s potions and has actually been awake during the day already. Haven’t you, Glory?”

  “Yes.” I said it in a small voice, not sure I wanted to be Exhibit A with Mag and Angus staring a hole in me. I had a vivid memory of being burned at the stake as a witch. Not a dream, a nightmare. Never really happened.

  Mag approached me and I stood, not willing to be loomed over by her.

  “You saw it. You saw the sun?”

  “I was afraid to actually look at it directly, Mag. But I did see the light from it around the curtains. I was awake after sunrise. The sunshine burned me when I stepped into it.” I met her gaze. “It was strange and, I admit, awesome. I never thought it could happen again. That I’d see daylight.”

  “Liar!” Mag slapped me across my face, rocking me back.

  I balled up my fist and landed a good one right on her pointy chin, relishing her screech of outrage. Jerry threw himself between us. Was he protecting her or me?

  “You bitch! I will never let you hit me again. You even haunt my nightmares!” I dove for her, but Jerry grabbed me around the waist.

  Angus grabbed Mag’s arm, obviously stunned into silence.

  “Filthy whore! Lowborn slut! Jeremiah never should have brought you into our home.” Mag held her jaw and sobbed.

  “That’s enough, Ma!” Jerry held me against his chest when I tried to go after her again. “Calm down, Gloriana.”

  “She started it, Jerry. I wasn’t lying and you know it.” I shoved back and stomped to the far side of the bed, still pumped. I hoped Mag came after me again. I wanted to pound her into the carpet. Hit her until she wept and begged my forgiveness and admitted I was good enough for Jerry. I felt my nails digging into my palms and took a calming breath.

  “Mother, listen to me!” Jerry grabbed his mother’s shoulders, pushing her away from me when she started forward again. “Glory t
ells the truth. Valdez was there. He saved her from more harm.”

  “More’s the pity.” Mag snarled. “They are probably lovers, Jeremiah. The shifter would say anything for her. When are you going to realize what this woman is?” She turned to Angus. “We’re wasting our time here. Let’s go.”

  “Yes, it’s best you leave. I’ll see you at the hotel later.” Jerry exchanged looks with his father before his parents stalked from the bedroom.

  “Yes, get out, Mag. I’ll be happy if I never see you again.” I followed them to the bedroom door. Mag just sniffed, like she couldn’t be bothered to reply to the ravings of a commoner. I collapsed on the bed when Jerry closed the bedroom door again. Damn. I guess I’d never be a lady. But then, who’d thrown the first punch? Not me. Not very ladylike of Mag, was it?

  “I’m sorry about that. My mother—”

  “Your mother hates me. Nothing new there.” I rubbed my throbbing cheek, coming down off my high with a vengeance. “She still packs a wallop.”

  “You scared the hell out of her.” Jerry sat beside me and gathered me in his arms.

  “Scared? Mag Campbell?” I laughed and leaned against Jerry.

  “Think about it, Glory. If the MacDonalds have the secret to staying awake during the day, we’re lost. We’d have to hire an army of shifters to protect us.” Jerry rested his chin on my hair. “And, sorry, but I’ve yet to meet one I totally trust. Including your current Valdez.”

  That got me. I didn’t, or actually couldn’t, say anything. Because I knew what was coming. Where was my trusty bodyguard right now? The man who was never to leave my side under any circumstances? Oh, yeah. Off chasing after my fake fiancé. And it was close to dawn. If Valdez didn’t make it back by then, where did that leave me? We both heard the hall door open and close and we jumped up.

  “Who?” I sniffed the air. “Brittany.” I smiled. “She can watch over me during the day if Valdez doesn’t get back.”