Nickels

by Karen Baney

  He sighed heavily.

  It didn’t matter that he hadn’t wanted her. Her mother refused to get an abortion. At least he had enough sense of responsibility to offer child support.

  Not once in the first five years of Alana’s life had he talked to her. Nor had he sent her a gift or a letter. He had no contact. Other than the large line item on his pay stub, he barely remembered he had a child.

  After the accident and after he became a Christian, he faced up to his responsibility. He decided he needed to be a father to his daughter. He felt so convicted that he almost moved to Colorado Springs to be close to her. As it was, he visited at least once a month. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

  “I think it’s clean now.”

  Chad’s voice broke through his thoughts. Kyle looked down at the grill and set the wire brush down.

  “Guess it is.”

  “Wanna talk about what’s eating at you?”

  Kyle looked through the sliding glass doors and spotted Niki. She emptied serving dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher.

  “Woman woes?” Chad asked.

  He tore his eyes away and changed the subject. “Looks like the cleaning is under control. Think I’ll take off.”

  He walked back inside and picked up his bag from the counter without a word. Then he headed for home where he could mull over his life with fewer intrusions.

  Sometime long after dark in the stillness of her bedroom, Niki lay wide awake staring at her clock. When she went to bed she found Jack’s letters where she left them that morning. She picked them up and moved them to her desk drawer. And she thought about them for hours in the dark. She would not get a lick of sleep until she read them. She couldn’t help it. She had to. It’s just what she did on Memorial Day.

  Slipping from under the sheet, she turned on the lamp on her night stand. She put on her glasses and walked over to her desk. Her hand hovered on the handle of the drawer. Hesitating only a few seconds, she yanked the drawer open and grabbed the letters. Fluffing the pillows against the headboard, she climbed back into bed. She went to the last one in the stack—the one he wrote the morning before his vehicle was blown to bits by an IED. The one she got two weeks after his funeral.

  May 10, 2002

  Nickels,

  I’ve been dying to write you for days. Finally have the chance. I was hoping to tell you this in person, but it looks like we’ll be here for a long time and it’s too important to wait.

  I have finally found what I’ve been looking for. I always felt a hole inside. I used to think it was cause we moved around a lot and that I never had any friends. Then I made friends in the Air Force. You can’t bunk with a bunch of guys scared senseless and not.

  Then, that guy I told you about—the Christian—he told me this hole was because I was missing Jesus. We’d been talking for months. He explained everything to me. Nickels, I found Jesus. He was everything I had been looking for. No matter what happens with this war or after, I know what the future holds—and it’s amazing!

  I wish you could see the change in me. I’m not that same fearful older brother that left you back in September. I’m confident that God has a plan for me, and even for you, Nickels.

  They’re calling for lights out so I gotta go. I pray that one day you will understand this for yourself. It will rock your world.

  Jack

  Niki wiped the tears from her eyes. I don’t understand it, Jack. She didn’t understand any of it. How could God’s plan have been to take Jack’s life that afternoon? If he was supposed to make this big difference in Jack’s life, why wouldn’t he let Jack come home safely.

  And if God had a plan for her life, you’d think he’d show up sometime and start working it out. This could not be it. If it was, then he was even lamer than she thought.

  What if she was wrong? Was that what she was missing—Jesus? How could Jesus fill the emptiness in her?

  She thought about Marcy. Marcy claimed to know Jesus. Said she became a Christian when she was twelve and that Jesus changed her life. Niki didn’t know Marcy before then. But she knew her a long time. Marcy seemed to have an unexplained inner strength whenever she faced something tough. She was still afraid, but tended to rise above things. She always talked about how she thanked God for this thing or that thing that happened in her life.

  Could Jesus rock her world as Jack said?

  She didn’t know. All she knew was that she could use something different.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, Niki woke to the sound of Marcy’s voice.

  “Niki! Get up!”

  “What time is it?” Why hadn’t she heard her alarm?

  “It’s after seven!”

  “Shoot!” She bolted from the bed. She was usually pulling into work by now. She had a presentation at ten.

  Marcy knelt down and picked up the stack of Jack’s letters from the floor. “Were you reading this last night? How late did you stay up?”

  “I don’t know.” She rushed into her closet and grabbed a blouse and a skirt. She had to look good for this meeting. “Four maybe?”

  “Niki!”

  “Scold me later. I’ve got to fly.”

  She shut the bathroom door and ran through her morning routine with amazing speed. She plopped a contact in each eye. Makeup brushes breezed across her skin. She kept her hair simple, opting for a low ponytail. No time to primp like she wanted to for this meeting. Clasping on her treasured bracelet, she reached for a pair of earrings and ran down the hall, heels and all.

  “Here.” Marcy shoved a travel mug of coffee in her hand. “I already put your laptop and purse in the car. Here’s your keys and phone.”

  “Thanks, Marcy. You’re the best.”

  Marcy followed her into the garage to leave for work herself. Thankfully she let Niki pull out first.

  She pointed her car towards the freeway ramp, getting up to speed quickly. Pulling into the far left carpool lane, she set her phone in its cradle and blasted her music.

  Her phone rang at about halfway. Doug.

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m on my way. Just running a little late.”

  “A little? It’s almost nine. That’s like two hours.”

  A pop noise sounded and then her car started shaking.

  “What the… Gotta go.”

  She hung up the phone as her car continued to vibrate. She shut off the music and pulled to the left median. Leaving the car running, she got out and looked around. Her front passenger tire was blown—completely shredded.

  It was already a hundred degrees out. She broke a sweat just from the quick look. This day was going from bad to worse real quick.

  Niki popped open her trunk and bent over trying to get to the spare. A car honked its horn as it drove by, startling her. She hit her head on the inside of the trunk. Wouldn’t it be great if someone would stop instead of honking? How rude!

  She tried to get the spare out of the back but couldn’t manage it. By now she was sticky from sweating and frustrated. Sitting in the driver’s seat, she turned the AC up full blast.

  She dialed Marcy’s number. “Come on. Pick up.”

  “Niki?”

  “I’ve got a flat tire. Can you help? I’m stuck just north of Camelback on the 101 off left.”

  “I can’t. I’m headed into a meeting.”

  Great. What now?

  “Let me call someone. Don’t worry.”

  “Thanks. Just send me a text to let me know someone’s coming for sure.”

  She sat in the cool air trying to keep from completely ruining her appearance. She looked at the clock on the dash. A quarter after nine. She was going to be late.

  A text message blinked on her phone.

  Someone there in ten. M.

  Niki breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she could still be on time for her meeting.

  She walked back around to the trunk and tried to get the spare out. She felt stupid when she realized it was held in place wi
th a wing nut. Loosening it, she was able to free the tire, though she did not have as much luck lifting it out.

  She wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. Even if she did make it to that meeting, she was going to look awful. A new model pickup truck pulled to a stop behind her. She straightened, hoping it was her rescuer. The driver turned on his hazards then stepped from his truck.

  Kyle.

  Of all the people, Marcy thought to send, she had to send him?

  “I heard there was a damsel in distress.” He cracked a grin.

  “Funny. Just get me out of here.”

  “I don’t think damsels are supposed to get testy.”

  Niki glared. “It’s the front passenger tire. It’s toast.”

  He walked around to the front then came back to the trunk to get the jack. He positioned it on the frame just behind the bad tire. Ten minutes later he had the old tire off and the spare on. As he lowered the jack, he let out an exasperated sigh.

  “What is it?”

  “You’re spare is flat,” he said as he raised the vehicle up. He pulled the spare off and rolled it over to his truck. He tossed it in the back with her shredded tire.

  “Now what?” She bit her lip. It was a quarter till ten. She needed to get to that meeting.

  “You’ll have to ride with me.”

  She felt silly that she missed the obvious answer. She grabbed all her stuff from the front seat of her car then armed it. She climbed into the passenger seat of his truck. As he pulled into traffic, she flipped down his visor to see how bad the damage was.

  “Eek!” she squealed. The heat made her eyes even puffier than they had been this morning. Her hair was a nightmare. She had a streak of something black on her cheek. And her face was shiny from perspiring.

  “What?”

  “Have you seen me?” she shrieked as she dug through her purse, hoping she still had some powder in there. She licked her fingers to wet them and nearly gagged when she remembered how dirty they were. No time to worry about that now. She worked at the black spot. Finally it came off. She re-powdered her face satisfied when it took the sheen away. There wasn’t enough space for her to try to fix her hair. So she waited.

  Once they pulled into the parking lot of Helitronics, she waited just long enough for Kyle to put the truck in park. She jumped out, undid her ponytail, and bent over. After shaking out her hair, she combed it with her fingers pulling it back into the long ponytail again. She gathered her things from his truck, hoping she looked better than she felt.

  “Thanks,” she shot over her shoulder, running in her heels towards the front entrance. Two minutes. Not enough time to get through security and still make it on time.

  “Relax,” Kyle said coming up behind her. “I told Todd you were stranded. They are expecting us to be late.”

  She went through the security drill, impatient for it to be over. When she was cleared, she picked up her items and listened as Kyle set off the metal detector.

  “Go ahead. I’ll be in shortly.”

  She left him there, half running to the conference room.

  When she opened the door she stopped short at the sight. There were far more people here than she remembered seeing on the meeting invite.

  “Niki,” Todd said. “Can you set up? A few of us have another meeting right after this one.”

  She nodded as she unpacked her laptop. As it powered up, she poured herself a cup of water. Being in the heat sapped her energy and she was super thirsty. She poured a second cup and downed it. When her laptop finished booting up, she navigated to her PowerPoint presentation and connected it to the projector.

  As Kyle entered the room, Todd made the introductions. Several of the uniformed men were introduced as representing the Air Force.

  She was livid. Todd ambushed her. He never told her the Air Force would be here. Oh well. It was Todd who would look like an idiot once she finished delivering her bad news.

  “Gentlemen,” she started. She clicked to the first slide. “Over the past six weeks, we’ve completed a thorough review of the code for the aviation controls on the CSAR helicopter. Today we’ll review the current status, risks to the project, and finish with a question and answer session.”

  She proceeded to discuss the enormous number of issues that she and her team discovered during their review. She outlined the risks of not addressing the issues. Finally, she informed them the timeline needed to be pushed back in order to accommodate the amount of coding necessary to address critical issues.

  One of the lieutenant colonels from the Air Force was the first to speak during the question and answer. “You mean to tell me this hasn’t even gone to the simulators yet? Todd, I thought that was scheduled for last week. What happened?”

  Niki narrowed her eyes at Todd. He never changed the deadlines, even though he agreed to.

  “There… Um… Have been a few delays as Niki pointed out. However, we’re scheduled to go to the simulators next week,” Todd said.

  This was not what the project plan said. This was ridiculous.

  Kyle frowned. “We have it scheduled in four weeks. There is no way this is going to be ready before then.”

  “You’re mistaken.”

  Niki watched as Kyle’s jaw tensed.

  “Maybe if you spent more time on your work and less time oogling the female consultant, you’d know the date is next week.”

  Kyle leaped to his feet.

  “Outside,” he ordered, pointing at Todd and Niki.

  When they got into the hallway, Kyle turned on Todd, inches from his face. “What the hell was that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “That was completely uncalled for. I’ve been nothing if not dedicated to this job. Where do you get off implying that I’ve been oogling Niki. And destroying her credibility like that! What is wrong with you?”

  “You’ve been distracted. I see the way you two eye each other. Clearly, losing track of the date proves you both are not fully focused on this project.”

  Niki spoke up. “The last project plan I have, dated with Friday’s date, clearly shows we have four weeks. Where is this new date coming from?”

  “It’s not new,” Todd said. “It’s always been next week.”

  “It has not.”

  Kyle paced back and forth, clearly agitated by the discussion.

  “That’s my point,” Todd sneered. “Neither of you have been paying attention. The date hasn’t changed. You need to get your details straight.”

  He jerked the conference room door open then shut it behind him, leaving Kyle and Niki in the hall.

  She crossed her arms, bringing one straight up so she could tap her finger on her lower lip. There was no way they could have this simulator-ready by next Friday. Impossible. She looked at Kyle. His face was red. She’d never seen him this angry before.

  “We better get back in there,” he barked. “Wouldn’t want to fuel their false impressions now, would we?”

  He held the door open for her.

  As the meeting wrapped up, Niki decided she ought to bring Brian into this one. She unhooked her laptop from the projector but remained seated as the room cleared out. She dialed his number.

  “We have a problem, Brian.”

  She explained the situation.

  “Let me call Todd. See if we can’t get this straightened out.”

  She hung up the phone and walked back to her cube, not stopping to say hi to the guys. She rested her head in her hands. This day could not get any worse. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to ease some of the pressure.

  An hour later, a frustrated Brian called her. “We have to do it.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  “If we don’t, Helitronics is in danger of losing the contract. And if they lose the contract, we lose the contract.”

  Niki’s stomach hit the floor. How could they pull this off?

  “Tell me what you need. I can pull Russell and his team for this week. We can work
double shifts, whatever. Tell me what you think.”

  “Give me two of Russell’s guys. Any more than that and we’ll be tripping over each other,” she said, doubting that they would be able to pull this off. Of course, they just had to get it to the simulator, not make it perfect. She just hated playing that game—especially when bad or buggy code could mean endangering someone’s life if it wasn’t caught before going to the live prototype.

  “You’ve got it,” Brian said. “And Niki, don’t carry this on your own. You need anything you tell me. We’ll get it.”

  “I need more time.”

  “Well, anything except that.”

  The line went dead. Niki thought she was going to be sick.

  Chapter 15

  She walked past Doug’s cube. “Gather the troops and meet me in room 220 in ten minutes.”

  Doug nodded as Niki continued on to the restroom. She braced her hands on the sink and stared into the mirror. How was she going to pull this off? It was utterly impossible.

  She’d done the impossible before. She knew what it would take. Insane hours. No interruptions. Everyone had to be at the top of their game.

  She sighed. She was already behind and she still needed to deal with her car. Her lack of sleep from last night wasn’t helping either.

  Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths. Then she opened them.

  “You can do this, Niki,” she said to her reflection as she pushed off from the counter.

  Standing outside room 220, she surveyed the group gathered inside. Doug, Jake, and Scott sat on one side of the table. Russell, Chris, and Jeff sat on the other side. They needed her to be a good leader, a strong leader. She had to do this without showing her insecurity.

  “Are you going in?” Kyle’s voice whispered from behind her.

  When she glanced over her shoulder, he smiled. “Thought I might give you moral support. And I’m pretty good at brainstorming, too.”

  She entered the room, leaving the door open behind her for Kyle. As he took a seat at the end of the table, she walked to the front of the room and stood by the whiteboard.