Nickels

by Karen Baney

  He shouldn’t have let Kelly cry on his shoulder. He knew Niki was going to be there soon and that things were far from settled between them. But, Kelly was still his friend and she’d been very upset.

  Of course, Niki walked into the lobby right then. His bad timing struck again.

  As he peeled off the many layers of the tux, he tried to figure out how to salvage things with Niki. He loved her more than anything. He even started plans in motion…

  He sighed, unable to shake the heavy feeling pressing down on him. He already saw Niki throw up her wall again. She was pulling away. If he wasn’t careful, she was going to break up with him.

  Lord, please don’t let that happen.

  The silence that answered made him feel worse.

  He climbed into bed and fell asleep to disturbing images of what he feared was coming.

  Niki woke slowly to something poking her scalp. She reached up and pulled out a bobby pin. Sitting up, her head started throbbing. She threw back the covers and stood gingerly. Her mouth felt gummy and gross.

  In her bathroom she looked in the mirror and squealed. She looked terrible. Makeup smeared all over. The beautiful cascade of curls were flattened and frizzy. She started with a toothbrush and toothpaste. Then she washed her face. She tried to figure out what she should do with her hair, but decided on coffee first.

  Half awake, she padded down the hall to the kitchen. And screamed.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked once her heart settled back into place. Please don’t say she had slept with him.

  “I came back this morning with your car and breakfast.”

  “Why do you have my car?”

  Kyle frowned. “What do you remember from last night?”

  “Not much after the reception.”

  He smiled wryly. “You, Miss Turner, had a bit too much to drink. I drove your car home, since I rode in with Matt. Then, I dropped you off in your room and went home. Hope you don’t mind I borrowed your car. Didn’t exactly think it would be a good idea to stay here.” His face blushed.

  “I’ll say,” Niki muttered. She started running her fingers through her hair searching for bobby pins. One after the other she pulled them from her hair and dropped them on the counter.

  Kyle turned his attention back to fixing some pancakes. She sipped the coffee he set before her.

  While the scene felt comfortable, even familiar, she knew it could not last.

  “I appreciate what you’re doing here, Kyle.”

  “But?”

  “But, I don’t think you and I should see each other anymore.”

  He flipped a pancake then turned to look at her. “You mumbled something about that last night. I thought it was the booze talking.”

  “I was serious.”

  His frown returned. “Care to explain why?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? There’s something going on with you and Kelly. That embrace before the wedding… What am I supposed to think about that? And what about you taking off the next few weeks to be with her? Am I supposed to be okay with that?”

  “I’m not taking time off to be with Kelly. I’m visiting Alana.”

  “See, this is what I’m talking about. You just don’t get it.”

  Kyle shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

  “You can’t visit Alana without visiting Kelly, too. And the way she was all over you… I just don’t trust it.”

  “It? Or me?”

  Was he going to make her spell it out?

  “Yes, I don’t trust you.”

  He shoved a stack of pancakes in front of her. “Eat, so you can take me home,” he said angrily. As she worked on the pancakes, he cleaned up the kitchen wordlessly.

  When she stood, he finally spoke. “So, this is it then. You won’t listen to me and you don’t trust me?”

  The pain in his eyes caused her to pause. Was she wrong?

  Then the anger came back. He kept too many secrets from her. She couldn’t risk being hurt. She couldn’t love him anymore. She had to push him away while she still could. It would feel terrible, but it was better to get this over with now than wait until her heart belonged completely to him. She couldn’t handle the pain of losing him then.

  “Let’s go,” she said coldly, retrieving her keys from the counter.

  Neither said a word as she drove him to his place. When he got out of the car, he slammed the door shut, without so much as a goodbye.

  “Goodbye, Kyle. Best of luck with Kelly,” she said to her empty car, which was as empty as her heart. Old Niki was back.

  On Monday morning, Niki stuffed her purse in her desk drawer. Opening up her laptop, she hit the power button, ready to start the first day of her new life without Kyle. There was no way she was over him. Not in twenty four hours. Maybe in twenty four weeks?

  “You left kind of early from the reception,” Joe said as he unpacked his laptop. “You missed the tossing of the bouquet. Everyone thought you’d catch it. Tori was hoping there might be a wedding in the future for you and Kyle.”

  Niki snorted. “Kyle and I broke up.”

  Joe propped his arms on the top of the cube wall. “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. Dead serious.”

  “What happened?”

  “Not talking about it.”

  Niki turned her attention back to her code. When she saw Joe’s head disappear behind the cube wall, she popped in her headphones. The code translated from her brain through her fingers to the keyboard and screen, keeping time with the music. Getting lost in the code had a calming effect on her. She could forget about all the hurt hiding just under the surface of her heart.

  A hand on her shoulder sent her jumping out of her chair. She quickly glanced at the time on her computer. Five. She should be heading home soon. She popped off her headphones and turned to see who the hand belonged to.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Justin asked.

  She nodded.

  “In private?”

  She stood and followed him to his office. She sat in the chair opposite his desk and waited for him to close the door and take a seat. Instead of sitting behind his desk in his chair, he leaned against the front of his desk, only a few inches from her.

  “I was wondering if you would go with me to the Christmas Party this weekend.”

  “I wasn’t planning on going.”

  “Come on, Niki. It’ll be fun.”

  “No.”

  He folded his arms over his chest as a frown formed on his face.

  “I heard you’re not seeing anyone. You have to know how much I want to be with you. Heck, I threw extra money at Brian to get you here.”

  “For your project.” She shifted uncomfortably in the chair as his eyes darkened. He was making her nervous.

  “No. I wanted you here so I could ask you out, but you keep brushing me off.”

  Her anger rose. Never had she been assigned to a client for this reason. It was always her technical skills. She felt foolish that she hadn’t realized all of this sooner. She started to stand, but his voice stopped her.

  “Come to the party with me,” he said as he unfolded his arms. His eyes pleaded.

  “Hey Niki!” Joe’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Can I see you for a minute?”

  As soon as she saw her escape, she took it. She followed Joe back to her desk as her heart pounded in her chest. The nerve!

  “Is everything okay?” Joe asked. “You looked pretty upset in there.”

  “I’ll be fine in a few minutes. What did you need?”

  “Oh, nothing. Just thought you needed some help.”

  “Thanks,” she said as she gathered her things and left.

  As if her life wasn’t enough of a mess, now she had to deal with this. Judging by the look on Justin’s face, she didn’t trust him to stop pursuing her—especially if he paid extra money to get her there only so he could ask her out. What a jerk.

  Once she was home, she called Brian.

  “I’m d
one at Global.” She told him the story of what just happened with Justin.

  Brian agreed that she shouldn’t go back.

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea that was why he kept pushing.”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t have any other assignments waiting right now. But, I’ll try to get you something in the next few weeks.”

  “Thanks, Brian.”

  Christmas Day came too slowly. Niki had been on the bench the entire two weeks leading up to the holiday. It was enough time for her to rethink what she wanted from her career. She was tired of constantly shuffling clients. She wanted something more permanent.

  She said as much at last week’s Bible study, which Kyle had been absent from. Matt suggested she apply at the company he worked for. He said they were always hiring software engineers. If she still felt the same way after the holidays, she would look into it.

  The past two weeks had also been the loneliest of her life. Marcy was gone on her two week honeymoon with her husband. Kyle hadn’t tried to call her once. He also hadn’t shown up to Bible study. He was probably enjoying his two weeks in Colorado Springs with Kelly.

  When Brenda called earlier in the week to invite Niki to Christmas at their home, she almost turned her down. She wasn’t sure she could stomach seeing Kyle again. She was still licking her wounds.

  But, Marcy and Chad were going to be there. She missed Marcy so much. That alone provided the motivation for her to get in her car this morning and make the long drive out to the Jacobses home, even if it meant possibly seeing Kyle again.

  When she pulled up to their house, she recognized his truck. So he was there. A few seconds ticked by as she considered turning around. The front door opened and Marcy flew out to greet her. Too late to back out now.

  “Niki!” Marcy swallowed her in a huge hug. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’m surprised you had time to miss me, Mrs. Schaefer.”

  Marcy feigned a pout. “I did.”

  “I missed you, too. How was Hawaii?”

  “Amazing! Come on in and see the pictures.”

  Niki didn’t move. “Marcy… I don’t think I should be here.”

  Marcy turned back and looked at her. “Why, cause Kelly’s here?”

  She felt all the blood rush from her face. “What?”

  “Kelly and Alana moved here. They’re living in Kyle’s townhouse.”

  The familiar pain in her chest seized her heart. She had been right. She hadn’t wanted to be right. She hoped he would have called her—tried to reconcile things. She was sorry she had been so hard and unforgiving. His secret had been a terrible and flimsy reason for breaking up with him.

  There had been so many times over the last two weeks she almost called him. She had more than enough time to realize how wrong she was. She even believed what he told her—that he never loved Kelly.

  If that was true, then why was she now living with him?

  A sob caught in her throat.

  Chapter 41

  When Niki entered the house behind Marcy, Kyle’s heart danced. He missed her so much. He thought about calling her every day since Marcy’s wedding—only he had been too busy orchestrating two moves. One was his move from the townhouse to Matt’s extra room. The other was helping Kelly and Alana move down from Colorado Springs to his townhouse.

  When he first arrived in Colorado Springs for his visit with Alana, Kelly told him that she lost her job. The resort she had been working at closed. She got the notice the day after she got back from the wedding.

  He had been praying for months about how to spend more time with Alana. As soon as Kelly broke the news, the idea formed in his mind. Even in the down economy there were jobs to be had in the Phoenix area. Winter was peak tourist season so the resorts had to be hiring event planners. He convinced Kelly to move down and look for a job.

  He also told her he was looking to move out of his townhouse to a one-story. He would let Kelly and Alana live there rent-free until she found a job. Then she would start paying rent. After a few days of tossing around the idea, she decided it would be better for Alana to be closer to him—a major victory.

  So, he helped them pack and he drove the U-haul down. He got some help from Matt and Joe to move his stuff out and her stuff into the townhouse, even though it was on Christmas Eve.

  He smiled as Niki took a seat on the couch. Could she still feel how much he loved her? Hopefully she would once she opened his gift. It almost hadn’t been ready in time, but Marcy came through for him.

  Why did I ever let her go?

  He moved to sit on the couch next to her. “Niki.”

  A sob escaped her lips and she jumped up. She darted into the bathroom and closed the door.

  His heart sank. She was still angry with him. Please let my gift soften her heart.

  The tears came fast. Niki couldn’t help it. She still loved him.

  “Niki?” Brenda’s voice came from the other side of the door. “Are you okay, honey?”

  “Yes. I’ll be fine in just a minute.” She lied. She wouldn’t be fine. She lost Kyle and it hurt.

  “Okay. Dinner is almost ready.”

  “Be right there.”

  She splashed some water on her face, refusing to look at her reflection. It would only bring another round of tears.

  When she entered the dining room, everyone else was already seated. Thankfully the remaining open chair was between Marcy and Rick—and Alana was directly across from it. She should be able to avoid looking at Kyle throughout the meal.

  After Rick said a blessing, the conversation started. She listened quietly as Marcy and Chad talked about the wonderful time they had in Hawaii. Though her heart felt numb, she forced herself to ask a question or two about the trip.

  As Marcy shared a story about a funny incident, Niki let her gaze move to Kyle. He glanced up from a side conversation with Alana at the same time. When he saw her, he smiled.

  Heat rushed to her cheeks and she looked away. How could he look at her like that—like he still loved her—yet be living with Kelly?

  Following the meal, everyone moved into the living room for the gift exchange. She found a chair to sit on, making sure there was no opportunity for Kyle to sit next to her. She couldn’t take it.

  When Alana’s face lit up with her first present, Niki smiled. She was such a sweet little girl. The way her face scrunched up and her eyes sparkled reminded her of Kyle.

  Marcy and Niki exchanged gifts, each exclaiming over how perfect the gift was. Then a small box was handed to Kyle.

  “From Niki,” he read the tag.

  She forgot she left that in there. She meant to take it out. How angry was Kelly going to be when she saw that gift?

  He smiled at her and slowly unwrapped the present, prolonging her agony. “Wow, this is great,” he said at last, as he held up the expensive watch. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice the engraving on the inside.

  As he unfastened the latch, he paused. So much for hoping. He found the message. She was relieved when he didn’t read it out loud. She didn’t need him to. She wrote out half a dozen messages before she settled on: Some dreams are meant to be realized.

  His expression softened when he looked up at her. If she didn’t know better, she would have sworn he still loved her.

  “There’s one left,” Marcy said, reaching for a small box under the tree. “To Nickels.”

  Her heart jolted.

  “Is that you, Niki?”

  She nodded and accepted the gift from Marcy’s hand.

  “It doesn’t say who it’s from,” Marcy added.

  It didn’t need to. There was no doubt in her mind that it was from Kyle.

  She tore off the paper which revealed a small navy blue velvet box. The hinge creaked when she opened it to reveal a heart shaped locket. Somewhere in the next few seconds she reminded herself to breath.

  Then she opened the locket. On one side was a picture of Jack—the one she had on her wall in her living room. O
n the other side, scripted letters spelled out “Nickels.” She closed the locket to look at the design on the front, but it blurred from her tears.

  “Put it on,” Marcy said. When Niki made no move to do so, Marcy came to her side and took it from her hands. Then she helped her put it on.

  As her fingers rose to touch it, she whispered, “Thank you.”

  Monday, after the end of her Christmas holiday, Niki made her decision about her career. She was leaving Elite.

  When she called Brian to tell him, he tried to talk her out of it. But eventually he admitted that he wasn’t surprised. Too much happened this year and he even expected it. He told her she could send her laptop back with Joe, if she didn’t want to make the long drive up. He also told her he would put in a glowing recommendation for her.

  That evening, she hopped in her car and headed to Matt and Joe’s place. While she probably could have waited until their Bible study in a few days, she decided she didn’t want to answer the questions that the group would ask. She preferred to tell them after she had a new job.

  She rang the doorbell and waited. A dog barked down the street and she looked towards the sound.

  “Niki?”

  “Kyle?” The name slipped from her lips before she fully realized he answered the door. “What are you doing here?”

  “I live here. What are you doing here?”

  “You live here?” Her heart skipped a beat with renewed hope as she waited for the answer.

  “Yes. I’m renting out my place to Kelly, so I moved into Matt’s spare room.”

  Slowly a smile stretched across her lips. “You live here.”

  He nodded his head and looked at her like she was daft. “Want to come in?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  He held the door wide as she stepped through. When he closed the door and faced her, his gaze dropped to her neckline.

  “You’re wearing the necklace. I… I wasn’t sure you would.”

  “Um… Yeah. Thanks. It’s really beautiful.”

  The weight of her laptop tucked under her arm reminded her of why she was here. She thrust it towards Kyle.