Absence. Is that all it took for you to realize you wanted me and not her? Did you really miss me? What I did know was I wasn’t going to figure anything out with him pressuring me. I sighed heavily. “I don’t want to think about that right now.” Especially with my head pounding.
“If there’s anything I can do to make this decision easier—”
“You can make it easier by giving me some space,” I snapped, frustrated with myself for being so easily swayed and persuaded. I didn’t want to waiver. I needed quiet—maybe fresh air. Something.
“I’m just asking for a second chance.”
If Joshua had proposed when I was on the show, I would have said yes in an instant.
But he chose her.
He put his hand on my knee. “Phoebe, I’ve been having second thoughts ever since I sent you home.”
“Really?” I lifted his hand and gently set it back on his own knee. “Why didn’t you do anything about it?”
“I couldn’t. I—I was confused. The producers were pushing for the show to go in a certain direction. At the time of the ceremony, I thought I was making the right choice. Besides, we’d been arguing, and I was upset.” He stopped and took a breath, probably collecting his thoughts. “I made a stupid decision. After you drove away, I thought, maybe, I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. But I kept telling myself I could get over you. Really. And regret is something I don’t want to have to live with for the rest of my life.”
I had been living with it day in and day out for two months. He was right. Regret was a terrible thing to live with.
“What if I was wrong?” he asked softly.
That stopped me.
“What?” I said.
“What if I was wrong?” he repeated. He held my gaze with his soft brown eyes.
What if? It was a game I knew well and had played often since he sent me off the show without a ring and a proposal.
What if he changed his mind?
What if he really came here to win me back?
What if he actually did love me?
I had contemplated these ideas many times. But he had rejected me. I reminded myself how easily he had rejected me. But what if he had realized, with hours of possible reflection, that it was me he wanted and not her? I had considered it, but I never thought it would happen. But here it was. Happening.
“What are you saying?” I asked carefully. I glanced over my shoulder, looking for a camera. Was this real or a crafted fantasy?
“I’m saying I flew halfway across the world to tell you I was wrong, to beg your forgiveness, and to see if you’ll take me back.”
Sleepless nights full of thoughts about Joshua came flooding back to me, like cards shuffled in a deck. I stood up and started pacing.
“I understand this is sudden and unexpected, but our journey doesn’t have to be over. Give me another chance—give us another chance.” Joshua came up behind me and touched my shoulder. “Phoebe?”
I turned around. Joshua dropped to one knee, an open velvet box in hand. Inside was a ring.
This cannot be happening. He’s not seriously proposing, is he?
“I almost missed my chance to spend my life with you once. I don’t want to lose my second chance.” He paused for a fraction of a moment. “Will you marry me, Phoebe?”
He was serious. I almost choked. “What?” I figured I’d be lucky to get an apology out of him. But a proposal? That was a little far-fetched.
Time seemed to stand still. I had no words.
The elevator dinged, shattering the silence.
“Phoebe?”
My stomach clenched as I recognized the voice. Bryan was standing inside the elevator.
“Hi.” I felt frozen in place. I glanced at Joshua, who was scowling as his gaze shifted from me to Bryan. I could feel the heat rushing to my face and my pulse pick up. “What are you—uh—what are you doing here?”
“This is my floor.”
It must have been the Groupon deal.
He stepped forward. “What’s going on? I thought you were sick.” It was his turn to look back and forth between Joshua and me.
“Um, Joshua showed up.” I pointed at Joshua, who had moved back to the sofa, as if that were enough of an explanation. Joshua gave a half wave.
Bryan’s eyes narrowed. “Joshua? From the show?”
My throat was too dry to manage words, so I nodded.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” He motioned in the direction away from the sofa.
I cleared my throat. “Okay.” I turned to Joshua. “Be right back.”
“What is he doing here?” Bryan kept his voice low. His expression reflected his confusion.
“He wanted to talk to me.” I chewed on the edge of my lip.
“So he came to London?”
I didn’t have an answer.
He blinked a couple of times. “Did you know he was coming?”
My eyes widened, and I shook my head. “No. It was a complete surprise.”
“And?”
I was hesitant. “And what? I’m just talking to him.”
“I’m assuming if he’s here and down on one knee, he’s doing a little more than talking.”
It would have been so much easier to do this without a pounding headache. “He’s trying, but—”
“Don’t do it.” He shifted his stance.
“Do what?” I hadn’t made any decisions about anything yet.
“Say yes.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I binge-watched the whole season. He’s not the guy for you.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Have you seen it? The show?” Bryan asked.
I rolled my eyes and tried to muster up some humor. “I lived it.”
He didn’t laugh. “But have you watched it?”
“No,” I admitted. “Why did you watch it?”
“I wanted to see what happened. I know what you told me, but I was curious. I wanted to know what the competition was.”
His choice of words surprised me. “You see him as competition?”
“You’re blowing me off to hang out with him. Isn’t that competition?”
“I’m not blowing you off. We’re just talking,” I insisted, only to realize it technically was true. Bryan and I sort of had tentative plans.
“Him being on one knee didn’t look like nothing.”
I held my palms up, helpless to explain.
Bryan motioned in the direction of the sofa. “You’re choosing him over me.”
His words stopped me. They sounded so very familiar. My stomach tightened, and I hung my head. I didn’t like admitting that to myself. “I’m sorry. I know it might look like it right now, but I’m not choosing him over you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. He just showed up here unannounced.”
“He’s not the guy for you, Phoebe.” His voice was gentle, and he placed his hand over mine. “Watch the show. You’ll see. It’s not what he does when he’s with you. It’s what he does when he’s not with you.” He looked me straight in the eye. “You deserve better.”
“I just—I just need to see this thing through.”
Bryan stared at me, his eyes wide. “Are you listening to yourself?” he hissed.
I ran my hand through my hair and looked away from him. “I haven’t had a chance to process the situation and my head hurts.” My throat was tight, and I wanted to cry. I felt horrible saying this to Bryan because I knew I was letting him down.
His lips twitched. “I’ve done this before. The whole ‘I need to explore my feelings for my ex’ thing. I’m not doing it again.”
“I’m not asking you to, Bryan. You and me? We just met—we’re friends. But I owe it to myself to explore
this. I’m really confused right now and I want closure from everything I’ve been struggling with since I said goodbye to him.”
He stood abruptly. “You don’t owe him anything.” His words were brisk.
“That’s not fair.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. You were pretty quick to point out we’re ‘just friends.’”
“Bryan!” I begged, reaching out to him.
He stepped back, avoiding my outstretched arm. “No, you made your choice. Nice meeting you, Phoebe. Good luck with”—he looked at Joshua—“that.” He turned on his heel and strode away.
I watched as he drifted farther and farther away. My mouth hung open, ready to say something. If I only knew what. I was torn between chasing after him and trying to make him understand and returning to Joshua to finish our conversation. From down the hall, a door slammed.
I slowly made my way back to the sofa. I swallowed down the tears that had surfaced from the surge of emotion. Bryan was a good guy, and I let him down. I was tired of second-guessing my decisions. What if he’s right? What if Joshua isn’t the guy for me?
“Who is he?” Joshua asked as I sat stiffly beside him.
I rested my head in my hands. “Bryan.”
“How do you know him?”
“We met here in London. We went around sightseeing together.” I kept my head in my hands, so my words sounded muffled.
“What just happened over there?”
I sighed and sat up. “He wanted to talk about something.”
“What?”
I shrugged, feeling defeated. “Nothing.” My shoulders sagged under the weight of the last few minutes.
“That didn’t seem like nothing.” He slowly straightened. “What kind of relationship do you have?”
I recoiled, surprised by his tone of voice. He was jealous. “We’re friends. Why is that any of your business?” I snapped.
He motioned toward the area where Bryan and I had talked. “You looked pretty friendly to me.”
“So? You and I aren’t together.”
His hand went to my arm. “Phoebe, I’m not trying to start a fight. I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“There’s nothing to be jealous about.”
“I’m not jealous!”
I snorted. “You’re acting jealous.”
“How about we forget about Bryan. We can go eat or take one of those tours of city on a bus.”
“I’ve already done that,” I said.
“But not with me.” He grinned and winked. He thought for a moment. “Wait—did you go on the tour with him?”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Joshua, I’m pretty sure not much has changed on the tour.”
“I haven’t seen it.”
It took a lot of self-restraint not to mimic his words in a childish manner. My whole dating experience and relationship with Joshua had been me trying to please him. Did I want to go do it again? To be the person I thought he wanted me to be? No. “I’d really rather not.”
“But I want to see it.” His tone took a whiny note as he tried to convince me to give in to him. “Why are you making a big deal out of this?”
“I have a finite number of days in London, and I don’t want to waste it doing things I’ve already done.”
Joshua let out a heavy sigh. “Fine.”
I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. How dare he just show up at my vacation, try to change my plans, and think I would just say yes. Has he always been this arrogant? Have I just missed it somehow?
I focused on breathing in and breathing out, trying to calm down. Why did he have to come back and complicate everything? I was doing just fine pretending I was over him and no longer cared about him or what happened on the show. But his showing up and begging for forgiveness slightly complicated the recovery process. And it made me question everything. Like, what were my feelings for him really? Could I have really fallen in love with him on the show? Or was it just the thing to do since all the women were competing for his attention? Was it only the thrill of the chase? Was what I thought I was feeling for Bryan just a rebound romance? Or just a romantic fling? Wasn’t that what I had been telling myself?
I stood up abruptly and squared my shoulders. “You know what? You said I could take all the time I wanted to think about it, so that’s what I’m going to do.”
“What about the bus tour?”
I took a few steps before replying. “It’s great. I think you’ll really enjoy it,” I tossed back.
“I’m in room eight fifty-six if you change your mind,” he called after me.
I looked straight ahead and purposely did not acknowledge I’d heard him. I wasn’t going to change my mind. I had some sightseeing of my own to do back in my room. I grabbed a Coke from the vending machine before returning to my room and settling in to finally watch Desperately Seeking Mrs. Right.
Chapter Nine
One show was all it took to see what Bryan was talking about. I knew what I had to do. I stood up and stretched, deliberately taking extra time so I could sort through my thoughts. The Coke had helped my headache but did nothing for my judgment. I was on the verge of being impulsive and I didn’t know if that was a good thing. As I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my keycard, the Skype notification popped up, letting me know Evangeline was calling.
“Hey, you’re finally wearing my shirt.”
I had pulled on the pink Karma shirt. “I am. I have the perfect place to wear it.”
“Oh yeah? Where? But tell me quick. I only have a few minutes before I leave for work and I’m dying to know what happened with Joshua.”
I was trying to think of the best way to break the news to her. “Well, to begin with, I watched some of the show.”
She stilled. “Really?”
I inhaled deeply. “Yes.”
“And?” her voice trailed off. “Are you okay after watching it? I mean, I’m sure it was hard.” Her head tilted and she conjured a sympathetic frown.
“Actually, it was exactly what I needed to see to know that Joshua is the wrong guy for me. I thought this shirt was perfect for the occasion to go and tell him that.”
A wide, triumphant smile spread across Evangeline’s face. “Wow. You go, girl!”
“Oh, I will,” I assured her.
“And I want to hear all about it afterwards.” Then she clapped her hands quickly. “You are going to tell him off. I wish I was there to see it!” Evangeline glanced away and then back at the screen. “I really need to go, but you saw the season finale is supposed to have a huge twist, right?”
I knew the broken engagement was the twist, and it was a really good twist. But I couldn’t tell her that—not until the show aired.
“Do you know what it is?”
I exhaled slowly. “Not really.” I wished I could tell her everything, but I had to tread carefully. Who knew what would happen once I confronted Joshua. I didn’t want the show to have any reason to accuse me of breach of contract, especially since I was soon to be out of the running for the future Mrs. Right.
Evangeline looked closer at the screen. “I’m really glad for you. I would love to talk more, but have to go to work.” She fiddled with an earring. “Make sure you text me what happens when you send him packing.”
“Okay, I will,” I said as we signed off. I rolled my shoulders back, gathered up my courage, and then marched off to take care of some final business with Joshua.
With every step, I tried to talk myself out of going to his room. It would be easier to text him, but I needed to do it now, in person, before I lost my courage.
The door to Joshua’s hotel room was slightly ajar. The cleaning crew’s cart was outside and I could hear the person moving around inside. Chances were Joshua wasn’t even in the room
, but I needed to move forward. I pushed the door open without the courtesy of a knock.
I tentatively entered the suite, carefully making my way through the front sitting area until I arrived at a doorway in the back that lead to the bedroom. I was about to call out to him when I heard his voice resonate from behind the door. And then I heard another voice—one I knew well. Joshua was talking to Christopher Josetti, the host of Desperately Seeking Mrs. Right. He was there. In the room. I tiptoed closer, straining to hear what they were saying.
“Are we on track?” Christopher asked.
“I think so,” Joshua answered.
“You need to get this engagement locked down. We have fifteen million viewers expecting something, and production is on my back about it.” Christopher’s words were clipped.
“I know, I know, I know.” Joshua said in a huff. “I think the next time I see her I can get her to agree.”
That ridiculous proposal? It was just for the show? That was why he was here?
I backed away from the door.
Anger flooded over me. I was there to tell him it was truly over between us, only to find out I was being used. I knew the producers and the host were trying to provide the most controversy and ‘wow’ factor for the viewers, but somewhere along the way they forgot they were playing with people’s lives. And those lives continued on long after the taping of the show wrapped up.
Joshua didn’t seem to care. He had no concern for me or my feelings. He didn’t love me. He just needed me to say yes. I was going to be the pawn, yet again, in a big media circus. How dare he.
I cleared my throat loudly and stepped into view. “I knew it!”
The men froze.
“So that’s why you’re here. Not for me, but for a proposal.” I put my hand on my hip and waited.
Joshua and Christopher turned around, mouths agape. A camera man who I hadn’t seen from where I was standing hefted a video camera to his shoulder.
Desperately Seeking Mr. Right (Destined For Love: Europe) Page 7