Heart of a Champion

by Patrick Lindsay

  Greg took the view that, where he could, he would avoid taking medication. He saw medication as the easy way out. He preferred trying to improve his condition naturally. He embraced the meditation and breathing, and began to see results. Meditation also gave him the opportunity to take the first steps towards taking back control of his life. ‘I was into making this better the right way. I wasn’t able to live like that—with prescribed drugs. It would have been a very easy way out, but it would have been tough down the road.’

  Greg’s confidence grew throughout the months of July and August, and in September 2003, he took his first work trip in four months. He travelled to Wisconsin to commentate on the Ironman there and came through it well. In October he went to Kona for the Hawaiian Ironman and reported for ironmanlive, and once again, he came through without any dramas. These were huge steps forward. Previously, he would fret for days in the lead-up to even a small journey, worried about possible v-tach episodes and the subsequent shocks. Clearly, the worrying had predisposed him to having the attacks.

  Over this period, Greg came to realise how, by constantly pleasing others, he had often placed himself in situations that exacerbated his illness. Now he understood he had to modify his lifestyle in order to adapt to the realities of his illness, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be himself within those restrictions, as Peter Crone observed: ‘Greg started to tap into his very being and he realised that his love of life, his humour and his happy-go-lucky spirit had in fact gone nowhere. The Greg Welch we all know and love started to emerge from behind his dark cloud, and once again live life to the full with joy and fun.’

  As Greg fought back, Sian found that a vital spiritual element was missing from her life. She’d been brought up in the church and she felt she needed to find one that could give her the spiritual support she craved. ‘I found a church and we both went. Greg kind of follows me with my faith. He’s Catholic but he just wants something that’ll make him feel good. And he’s very godly without even knowing, that’s why people love him so much. He doesn’t worry about things—money, success, failure…nothing worries him. The only thing that was worrying him before was fear. He was living with fear. Fear was eating him away. And that’s what God says—it’s always stuff that doesn’t matter. It never mattered to Greg. That’s why when he wins races, it never changed him.’

  Gradually, Greg began to regain his confidence. ‘I started to see glimpses of my old Greggy,’ says Sian. He began to trust his instincts again and started to take responsibility for his own recovery. This was the breakthrough Sian had been seeking. By slow degrees, Greg confronted his fears and discussed them with her. This helped him consider them rationally, and he began to see how they were imprisoning him. Discussing them allowed him to see them in perspective and he started to trust his feelings and his judgment again. The breathing exercises allowed him to gain confidence in his ability to influence his moods and thereby avoid stresses that were at the core of most of his health problems. Over time, he recognised the things he could change, and the things that were out of his control. He changed the things he could and was able to stop himself worrying about those things he couldn’t.

  By the beginning of 2004, Greg felt he had really started to turn over a new leaf. He also began to find time for himself, and he was able to risk offending friends and family by setting his own boundaries. ‘I began to play golf again and started to find myself in a better frame of mind. We started having friends over again and I began to grow in confidence. I even started going to the beach with friends on Thursday nights, taking the girls to restaurants and, the big breakthrough, taking the girls to the park on my own.’

  With his acceptance of his changed circumstances, Greg rediscovered the joy and colour in his life. He cherished his time with his daughters and Sian, and he basked in the warmth of his many friends, looking to the future with confidence. Things took a sharp turn for the better in late 2004. ‘The position of Global Sports Marketing Manager for Multisports came up. My old boss from Oakley, who had sponsored me since 1991, called me up and asked if I was interested. I’ve a great longstanding friendship with many people who work there, so it was a nobrainer for me, I get to work with all the athletes I raced against. My responsibilities were dealing with what I already knew but the challenge came in the marketing angle. I really had no experience but I really got right in the groove. This job couldn’t have come at a better time. I was already busy with World Triathlon Corporation with ironmanlive but it was a consultancy position. There was no conflict.’

  Greg concentrated on leaving the past behind him and focused on the things that were important to him in the future—his wife, kids, family, friends, his new career. He accepted his medical condition as a physical problem that must be dealt with. He understood that his mental state had been driving some of his physical reactions, and he worked to address that situation with increasing success. Gradually, he was able to appreciate the beauty around him: the grey mists that had shrouded his life receded, and the colours returned.

  ‘Now I know what people who are feeling suicidal must be thinking and it’s terrible. It’s terrible. I never, ever felt suicidal, but I was feeling unhappy and wondering what my purpose was. I didn’t really have a purpose. I felt I was a burden.

  ‘Initially, I couldn’t break it though, I just couldn’t break it because my insides were telling me to just do what you do and that was to be stubborn and put things off. As I made progress, I was getting less anxiety, I was getting less v-tach. I switched over to a new medication and it started working for me.

  ‘My anxiety level went from 100 per cent all the time, down to, probably, 5 per cent now. It’s still present. It’s a simple reminder that I have a problem. That’s all it is. It’s a simple reminder, nothing more than that.

  ‘It was almost like there was a barrier there, and once I sort of got my little finger through it, something was pulling me to the other side, pulling me through it and pulling me through it, little bit by bit. After about two months I was getting it and after three months I got it.’

  Looking back, Greg sees that as he reduced his stress levels, his overall mental state and his feeling of wellbeing also improved. He realises this came about through a combination of different elements that kicked in at various stages of his fightback. His ability to calm himself with breathing exercises played a significant role. But Sian’s ‘tough love’ approach was a turning point.

  ‘I told Greg that his future was in his hands. He had to take some control and responsibility for his recovery. If he didn’t, then all of the people who loved him couldn’t help him past a certain point. I think I was pretty tough on him at times but I was convinced that I had to be because I know Greg so well. I knew he had the inner strength to push through all his problems but, during his darkest times, he couldn’t find the confidence in himself to commit himself to fighting back with all his strength.’

  Much of Greg’s joy centres on his beloved girls. Both sides of their extended families adore them, especially their unabashed expressions of love and affection.

  ‘We taught our children to love and hug and kiss everyone we know, to express love and generosity and to be kind. Life is full of love, and sometimes people do not know how to express it. But how can you deny children this gift?

  ‘Annie and Emma bring joy to my life by the second. I couldn’t imagine my life without children. It’s amazing to see the transformation in Annie, watching a child completely reliant on you—from smiling for the first time to crawling then walking. Oh, hang on, our children skipped the walking and went straight into running. Mum did warn me!

  ‘I just love my girls so much. I never knew that love could double or even triple, but if you know how to love, you know how to live.

  ‘I’m now confident enough to care for them for days on end, whereas before it was so unnerving that I couldn’t even face the thought of this when my health was really unstable. It’s been a long road back, but I have finally made it.
We’re really enjoying life as a family. We’re even getting a dog soon, so our responsibilities are going to kick up another notch.’

  Sian has been able to regain control of her life too. She’s working in real estate and has gone back to training for Ironman and the new half-Ironman 70.3 races. To some degree Greg and Sian’s roles have reversed. Greg has the kids while Sian trains, then they swap over so Greg can go to work or sometimes catch a game of golf.

  Their normal weekly routine sees Mondays with Greg and Sian having a fun day with the girls, going to Sea World or lazing around, cleaning the house, playing, walking on trails. Tuesdays, Greg heads off to Oakley where he works in their sports marketing, looking after athletes, sponsorships and marketing Oakley’s eyewear. The girls now go to school on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday so Greg is able to spend Wednesdays writing triathlon training programs for multisports.com for personal clients, perhaps sneaking in a game of golf or writing for ironmanlive.com and doing some consultancy work for World Triathlon Corp.

  On Thursdays, Greg takes the girls to their individual ballet sessions and spends some cherished special time with each in turn. ‘I drop Emma off, and then Annie and I go and have a drink and gum or a lolly of some sort, before going back and watching Emma. At home I make lunch for the girls and then we go back to ballet with Annie. Sian usually goes training around these times and then we meet at a pizza place. It’s a great day.’

  On Fridays, when the girls are at school, Greg does more training programs or gets things done around the house. Saturday is Sian’s big training day—about 6 hours straight—so Greg heads to the park with the girls, sometimes to McDonald’s where Greg meets his agent and his kids.

  Sunday is Sian’s long run day, so Greg takes a walk on the local trails and then it’s family time, usually at the beach or the pool. On the weeks when Greg travels to commentate on triathlon races, he usually leaves on Wednesday and comes home the following Monday. They get a babysitter in to help Sian when she needs to train or work on real estate business.

  Greg now tries to appreciate every day of his life. He tries to live it in the moment. He’s made some simple compromises—no running, no biking, no swimming; instead he plays golf or walks. He’s happy and healthy, loves his family and children, and lives life to the full. He knows life is too short not to.

  ‘Nowadays, I always talk about how our life is so blessed. I just can’t think about how much we are blessed. I’ve had times when I go back and I have these anxieties about little things or whatever, but I always have something to go back to.

  ‘Why should I have any issues? I have two wonderful children, an unbelievable wife, two wonderful families and nothing to be unhappy about. I’ve had an amazing journey and it’s just started.’

  ‘GREG TOLD ME ONCE that he felt sorry for all the poor bastards who will never know the joy of how precious life is–because they have never FACED DEATH. ONLY GREG WELCH COULD THINK HE WAS THAT LUCKY.’

  Chapter 15

  Friends

  The best mirror is an old friend.

  Proverb

  THEY SAY YOU CAN JUDGE A MAN’S CHARACTER BY HIS FRIENDS and, especially, by the friends he keeps through his life. Friends have been one of the constants in Greg’s life. He makes them easily and he retains them, drawing strength and comfort from them, and giving them love, joy and loyalty in return. Here’s how some of his dearest friends think of him.

  KAY

  Sydney physiotherapist Kay Macpherson is one of Greg’s oldest and dearest friends. As a cancer survivor, Kay was able to bring a unique understanding to Greg’s health problems. ‘When I look back at how far our friendship has come, I can only do so with great affection. We always had an affinity, but that is even stronger now as Greg and I have both experienced life-threatening illnesses. This has given us an understanding that no one else will ever know. It’s one thing to watch someone you love be ill—and I certainly don’t want to demean the difficulty that comes with that—but it’s another to know exactly what the other person is going through.

  ‘I remember walking into Royal Prince Alfred Hospital and seeing Greg for the first time after one of his many heart operations. Physically Greg isn’t a huge person but his demeanour usually is. But he looked like a frightened rabbit lying there in that hospital bed. I know that fear too well, and if I could have taken it away for him, I would have. It broke my heart.

  ‘Greg left us for such a long time. The sheepish looks that he used to give when you knew he was up to no good, the spark, the essence of who Greg always was, went out.

  ‘Looking back, I think I always knew it would come back…if he lived. I can remember him telling me that he didn’t want to see anyone other than his close friends and family when he came back to Australia, which was so out of character for him. He loved a day down at Northies [pub] with all his mates. Greg can’t drink alcohol any more. In fact he won’t even drink coffee, so from that perspective his life has changed to some degree, but then Greg never relied on alcohol to assist his personality.

  ‘Greg is innately positive. He’s never taken a wrong turn that hasn’t led him to a better place, and I knew he could turn this into a positive. But it had to come from him, and it was a very slow process.

  ‘I think he feared what the future held for him if he couldn’t be involved with what he loved, if he couldn’t be the husband that he wanted to be to Sian, or the father that he had so longed to become to his two little girls.

  ‘Because Greg and I have been in similar situations, he was able to tell me things that others just couldn’t understand…he even managed to laugh about doing the “Midnight to Dawn Shift”—you know, where you lie awake after everyone else is asleep and you worry if you are going to die, right up until the sun comes up.

  ‘I have seen the spark slowly come back to his life. Greg always knew that competing in triathlons at an elite level would come to an end one day. It just came sooner rather than later. What he didn’t count on was not being able to be physically active. But I have watched as he has transferred all the unbridled energy that he once put into his sport, into working with other athletes, commentating, writing triathlon programs and being the wonderful father, husband and friend that he always was. I watch him share magnanimously in others’ success.

  ‘We often talk about how lucky we are to have been through what we have been through. Greg told me once that he felt very sorry for all the poor bastards who will never know the joy of how precious life is— because they have never faced death. Only Greg Welch could think he was that lucky.’

  PAULA

  Paula Newby-Fraser, the greatest female triathlete in history and one of the all-time greats in the sport, has been one of Greg’s closest friends since they first met in Hawaii in the late 1980s.

  ‘One of the great lessons his ordeal has taught me and Paul is not to go back to the place that may set you back. Wherever he is, Greg always takes one day at least every week and does something for himself— usually golf. No phone, email. As he says, there is nothing in day-to-day living that cannot wait a few hours. No call is ever that urgent.

  ‘He has finally found a balance where he has created some space for himself and realised what he has to do. This, I think, was at the core of his troubles—never wanting to let anyone down. He wanted to do everything for everyone, train as hard as he could, be everyone’s best friend, be the life of the party, and on and on—never putting himself first, ever.

  ‘Now with a family and two jobs, he has found that balance. I’m sure that lying in the ICU as long as he did helped him to come to that place. Much like being in endurance sports, where you’re pushing until you find the limit—and then pushing more—you find a wisdom that sometimes most people come to much later in life, if at all. Greg has certainly found it, and understands that he is ultimately responsible for himself and needs to nurture that. He takes time for himself now—he accepts offers of help more easily. He knows now that he is human and has limitations. Prior to
all of this, he certainly lived his life as if there were none.’

  ROCH

  Roch Frey, a former triathlete and coach, is one of Greg’s friends and his neighbour in Encinitas, San Diego.

  ‘This may all sound like a cliché, but Greg truly is special. This now shows in the way he handles his heart problems. Being close to him the past seven years through all the surgeries and doctors’ visits, I noticed that he never once complained, but dealt with it. His demeanour transferred directly from racing to dealing with life and death: he never complained, but dealt with it and stayed positive.’

  HEATHER

  Heather Fuhr, a former triathlete, is Roch Frey’s partner.

  ‘I am a true believer that things happen for a reason, and there is no doubt in my mind that had the health problems that faced Welchy happened to anyone else, I don’t think there is anyone in the world who would be able to handle the situation the way he did.

  ‘He has been a true role model for life. I have never seen Greg play the “poor me” card. He has remained positive through numerous life-threatening situations. There were a few times when I can honestly say that I wasn’t sure if he was going to pull through. Greg took on this fight for his life as he took on everything else he did—with complete determination and conviction.

  ‘Welchy has certainly mellowed with everything he has gone through, but so have we all. Gone are the days of partying all night long and then going out for a long bike ride the next day. Greg now puts all this energy into being a wonderful father, and to giving back to the sport of triathlon. His girls Annie and Emma and his wife Sian mean the world to him, and you can just see this by the way his eyes light up whenever he is around them.