Heart's Folly (The McLachlan Brothers)

by Monica Rossi

  Melissa laughed, Somer was usually overly excitable but she was in rare form today. It was contagious, she started jumping in unison with her, “I don’t know. Tell me! Tell me!”

  “The Avett Brothers!!!”

  Melissa continued jumping even though she didn’t know who this band was and why should she be so excited about them, “I don’t know them but I’m happy for you. When is it?”

  “Next week! We have to buy camping supplies and rent a van!!”

  She stopped jumping, camping wasn’t on her list of things to try in the near future. Especially when it was three thousand degrees outside.

  “Camping?”

  “Yeah, silly, you camp and you listen to music and you smoke pot and you interact with other wonderful people who are there doing the same thing.”

  “Um. I don’t know, I don’t really camp.”

  “You’ll be fine. Trey and I have all the basic camp stuff, you’ll just need to get your own tent and sleeping bag and we’ll take care of the rest.” Trey was Somer’s new boyfriend and it went without saying that she wouldn’t be asked to share their tent.

  Somer must have seen the doubtful look on her face, “Come on, get excited, it’s going to be a lot of fun!”

  Everyone had been trying to keep her happy and occupied since she’d come home. Jayden, her little sister, had been sickeningly sweet to her. Not complaining about her taking too much time in the bathroom they shared, asking her if she wanted to borrow her clothes, inviting her to the movies with her and her friends. It was a little bit more than she could handle, and she found herself wanting to lash out at her out of spite. Instead she took her up on the offer of going to the movies and didn’t scream at her to cut the bullshit, which in Melissa’s mind made her close to a saint. And if it had just been Jayden it might not have been so bad but her parent’s had even tried to bribe her into being happy by offering to have a pool installed in the backyard after she mentioned how much she’d enjoyed swimming while she’d been in Charleston. Which had been a lie. The only time she’d touched the water had been when she and Tracey had gone to the beach. And of course, with Owen.

  She didn’t want a pool, she didn’t want to hang out with her sister or go camping with Somer and Trey. All of the things she actually wanted were things that she couldn’t have so there was no use in even thinking about them.

  “Ok, I guess it could be fun,” she said. She’d heard the phrase ‘fake it until you make it’ and she hoped that applied to being happy and outgoing, because it was starting to wear on her. “But no pot smoking, I’m going to start looking for a job soon and you never know if they’ll want a drug test or not.”

  “You still haven’t changed your mind about going back to school?”

  “No, I just… just not right now. Maybe in a year or so.” Despite not being the happy go lucky girl she was trying to pretend to be, she was getting better. She could feel things again, small things could please her. She could enjoy the simple pleasure of just being without the guilt and pain of being alive. Owen had given that to her, had taught her how to not let life continually flay you. But going back to the apartment she’d shared with Felicia still wasn’t something she felt she was ready for.

  “Well, I’ll be glad to have you home in the meantime. I’ve missed you,” Somer reached out and squeezed her hand. Melissa was surprised to find she’d missed Somer too, she’d thought she’d had all her emotions turned off, but here and now, looking at the smiling face that had been the only other person besides Felicia who’d seen her through acne, first periods, first boyfriends, and first everything else, she realized that she really had missed her.

  “I’ve missed you too,” she leaned in and hugged her spontaneously, the human contact not feeling alien as it had a few weeks before. The girls talked about random things for a little longer, people they’d grown up with, local gossip, and new romances in town.

  “Speaking of, I talked to Tracey the other night, and she said something about some guy you’d met down in Charleston. Why haven’t I heard anything about it?”

  “Because there really wasn’t anything to tell, we went on one date,” she shrugged. That was technically true. They had only gone on one date, but a lot more had happened between them, real and imagined.

  Melissa kept telling herself to let it go but her mind kept replaying her time with Owen over and over again. Her emotions ranging anywhere from angry, to sad, to painful longing whenever her mind went there. But whatever she was feeling the bald truth was that she missed him. Even in the short amount of time they’d had together he’d become a part of her life, a part she’d like to have back if she were honest with herself.

  She kept thinking about things she’d like to show him in her hometown, hidden beauty he’d appreciate. The ivy covered trestle behind the old abandoned schoolhouse where she and her sisters had played, unbeknownst to their parents, as kid. The lake with its sunbathers and jet skiers and fishermen all crowded around its shore every weekend. The old statue surrounded by flowers of a woman who’d done something very important for the town, but she couldn’t remember exactly what it was. Somehow just the little time she’d been with him had changed her, she’d begun to find the hidden beauty in her everyday life, and was learning to enjoy it. For that, she was grateful.

  In a while, when the memory of being rejected wasn’t so sharp, she supposed she’d look back at him as the defining moment in her path towards living again. Not only had he shown her how to see beauty, he’d made her feel again. It was scary and it could hurt but it was worth it.

  “So give me a complete list of everything I’ll need for the trip,” Melissa said, changing the subject before it got too uncomfortable.

  “What the actual fuck are you doing?” Braden demanded as he came in the door.

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” Owen didn’t really want to take time away from his painting to interact with his brother.

  “Painting. But you’re also avoiding phone calls from our mother and she has, in turn, called me more than a dozen times today and wouldn’t stop yapping at me until I promised to stop by and check on you after I got off work.”

  “As you can clearly see, I’m fine.”

  Braden looked around the room, which under the best of circumstances looked like an art supply store had blown up in it, but currently looked like a tornado had blown through the regular mess. Then he eyed his brother. Covered in paint and pale looking with bags of fatigue under his eyes, he looked less than ‘fine’.

  “Uh huh, well how about tell that to Ma, she says you haven’t called her or answered your phone in more than two weeks.”

  Owen paused, blurry eyes finally leaving the canvas, “I’m sure it hasn’t been that long. A week, tops.”

  “I don’t know, take it up with her. I’m just relaying the message. I called on Tuesday and didn’t hear back from you, but I didn’t worry that much because you’re a grown ass man and I didn’t really give a fuck.”

  Owen knew that wasn’t true. His brother liked to talk shit, but when he really needed him he knew who would always be there for him.

  “What’s today?”

  “Friday.”

  “Shit.”

  “Uh huh, deep shit. That’s what you’re in with Mom,” Braden smiled at that and walked closer to see what Owen was painting. Owen stepped back to let him see the full work. He’d been obsessed with it, unable to sleep or eat with any consistency until he got it out of his brain and onto a canvas. He still wasn’t finished but he was close.

  Braden let out a low whistle, “Who is she?”

  “Just a girl,” Owen didn’t really want to go into the whole story with Braden.

  “Like hell she is.”

  He sighed, his brother could always see through him, “A girl who was sad and lonely, we spent a little time together.”

  “Naked?”

  “Shut up Braden,” Owen pulled out the cloth he kept tucked in the back pocket of his pants while he w
as painting and wiped his hands. It was doubtful he’d get anything else done while Braden was there.

  His brother stepped closer to the canvas, “Doesn’t look like a girl to me, that looks all woman.”

  “She’s only twenty.”

  “Well in that case let me just get on the phone and call the police to come confiscate this obvious child porn you’ve created here,” he pulled out his phone and pretended to dial, “Yes, officer, I’m going to need you to come to 29 Coming Street right away. This pervert I call a brother is making so called art out of helpless children.”

  Owen ignored him, “So now you can go back and tell Mom that I’m fine, I just got caught up in work.”

  “Nope. Here, you tell her,” Braden held the phone out to Owen.

  “Fine,” he snatched the phone and punched in his mother’s number. She immediately jumped down his throat and he had to listen to a rambling diatribe against sons who don’t think of their poor parents who worry even though their children are grown. “I promise I’m fine. Yes, ok – I will. No Mom, you don’t have to do that. He’s standing right here. Ok, I’ll tell him. Yes, I’ve already said I would five times now. I’m not getting snippy I’m just – Ok, I love you too.” He hung up the phone and handed it back to Braden before he started up the stairs.

  “So…?”

  “So you’re taking me out to dinner and we’re going to be all brotherly and you’re going to figure out what’s wrong with me and report it back to mom.”

  Braden nodded his head, “Sounds about right. A nice cold beer and some shrimp and grits would be good.”

  “Yeah, whatever, I’ll go get a shower.”

  “Good idea, you reek.”

  ⋆⋆⋆

  The walk to 82 Queen Street cleared his head. Sometimes when he got too involved in a project he became a little disoriented and everything faded into the background except what he was working on. This had been especially true with his current project. He couldn’t get her out of his head, how she’d looked leaning against his balcony in the soft moonlight, sheet exposing just enough tantalizing flesh to stir the hunger, creamy skin glowing, and long chestnut hair falling in waves down her back. He could see it so clearly in his mind but he couldn’t quite get it to translate perfectly onto the canvas. There was something missing, something he just wasn’t doing right. He couldn’t get any of them right. He’d started a dozen paintings, Melissa walking out of the ocean, Melissa curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, Melissa with desire shining from her eyes as she stared at him from bed. None of them were right, none. But Melissa on the balcony, their first night together, that was the one that tormented him most of all.

  “Do you smell that?” Braden asked as they got closer to the restaurant. 82 Queen had been around for a long time and served locally produced food almost exclusively, which meant everything was fresh and delicious. As they got closer the smell of roasting meat overtook them reminding him how little he’d eaten in the past few days, not to mention the quality. A microwaved Hot Pocket might fill you up, but that’s about all it did.

  Few people roamed the street, it was a weeknight and they were a few blocks away from all the college kids out partying regardless of day of the week. The streetlights glowed yellow in the new dark, giving shadows to cracks and alleys that you wouldn’t normally notice during the day. Sometimes, like now, it struck Owen as odd that he was walking over so much history, sometimes the town just felt old.

  After he and Braden arrived at the restaurant they were seated in the lush green surroundings of the courtyard and almost immediately the savory smells overcome his initial surly mood.

  “I think I’m going to have to change my mind about the shrimp and grits, that lamb smells dee-vine,” Braden said glancing over the menu.

  “I’m going to have to agree with you on that, my stomach is doing jumping jacks and I could have sworn I wasn’t hungry when we left the house.”

  Braden shook his head, “I never feel not hungry, I don’t think there’s been a moment in my life that I haven’t been able to look at food and say, ‘Yeah, I could go for some of that.’”

  Owen laughed, his brother had always had a big appetite, “It’ll catch up to you one day. That sixteen pack you’re sporting now will turn into a keg and you won’t have so many women trying to get into that business suit.”

  “Jesus, I haven’t told you have I?” Braden slapped his menu down on the table.

  “Told me what?”

  “I had to fire Mrs. Freely this week.”

  “Mrs. Freely Mark’s mom? I didn’t even know she was working there.”

  “Yeah, I hired her about a month ago to answer phones, I figured she was an older lady and Mark’s mom so there wouldn’t be a problem.”

  Braden had a problem keeping receptionists because there always seemed to end up being jealous screaming that happened after they’d been there a few months, “You slept with her?” Owen asked incredulously.

  “No, I mean I wouldn’t have minded, she was kinda hot, but… she was Mark’s mom for god’s sake.”

  “So why’d you fire her? How bad could she screw up answering phones?”

  “She didn’t, she tried to screw me. She showed up naked in my office, twice. I had to fire Mark’s mom for sexual harassment… of me!”

  Owen almost choked on the glass of lager he’d been sipping. Braden was young and rich and attractive, he drew women to him like moths to a flame, and he didn’t mind the attention either. But it was nice to see all that luck bite him in the ass once in a while.

  Braden told him the story of how he’d had to avoid Mrs. Freely so studiously that he’d been afraid to even go into the copier room unescorted.

  “I swear it finally got to a point that I thought about having myself the male version of a chastity belt specially made.”

  “You wouldn’t have to have it specially made, you can order one off the internet.”

  His brother cocked an eyebrow at him, “And you know this how?”

  “I’m an artist, I have artist friends, we’re a freaky bunch.”

  “Speaking of getting freaky, who was the woman with the flowing locks of hair that was dripping sex off your canvas.”

  “I told you, just a girl.”

  “A girl you’re screwing?”

  “It’s not any of your business, and besides, she’s not even here anymore.” As creepy and stalkerish as it sounded, he’d been unable to keep himself from riding down to Folly and checking on her. It just so happened that he’d been riding down her street when he’d seen her loading all of her suitcases in a cab. It was for the best, she needed to go get back to living her life. A life that didn’t include him.

  “It is my business because to my knowledge you haven’t shown any interest in anyone since Lindsey died, and while some people think that might be noble and righteous of you, I can only imagine how bad your blue balls must be.”

  “It doesn’t matter if I was interested in her or not. She’s twenty. No matter how much I wanted to, or she wanted me to, I couldn’t in good conscious take advantage of someone that young.”

  “Last time I checked friend, twenty is legal.”

  “Legal but not really an adult.”

  “Remind me again how old you were when you asked Lindsey to marry you.”

  Braden knew how old Owen had been, it had caused an uproar in the family. They’d wanted him to go to college and then take over running the business and he’d decided he wanted to be an artist with a family. It had made a few waves. “That was different.”

  “Why?” Braden let the question hang.

  “Because we were in love.”

  “And you think this young woman is somehow less capable of feeling the full range of emotions that you yourself felt at her age. That because you’re a few years older it somehow negates whatever feeling she may have.”

  Owen sat there, thinking about the way his brother had posed the situation. In that context it did seem like he was being
small minded and downright prejudicial about Melissa. He’d taken her choice away from her and decided for both of them that she wasn’t smart enough to know what she wanted.

  “That’s not the only thing though, she’s just recovering from the loss of someone close to her. She’s looking for anyone or anything to cling to right now.”

  “And for some reason you don’t want that to be you?”

  “No, I mean yes I’d like to be there for her but..”

  “But…?”

  “But what if it’s just her loss that’s making her want to be close to someone, what if she’s just acting out of grief. Don’t you think she’d regret falling into the arms of someone just for the sake of comfort.”

  “I think you’re using that as an excuse not to get attached to anyone. You’re scared you’ll get left again.”

  “Lindsey didn’t leave me, she died.”

  “I know that, but you were still left behind to cope alone. I can understand not wanting to go through that again, man. But shutting out someone who might be good for you isn’t going to save you any heartbreak, it’s just going to keep you from finding joy.”

  Owen stared at the reflection of candlelight flickering off the light brown liquid in his glass. Braden was right. He was sabotaging his own happiness. “But she’s gone now, there’s not much I can do about it.”

  “Oh for the love of God, grow a pair and go after her.”

  Rain had left the entire area a muddy slippery mess, her legs were covered in slimy brown goo up to her thighs, she was hot, she was sticky, she was tired, and she was having a blast. They were on their third and final day at the festival and Melissa was going to actually be sad to leave. She’d laughed and danced and eaten strange foods and gotten drunk on cheap beer, and though she wished her sister could be with her to enjoy it with her, she didn’t let the feeling overwhelm her and suck all the color out of life.

  “Oh oh, that guy over there is selling yarn falls, I need one! I NEEEEED one,” Melissa tugged on Somer’s arm, half dragging her through the swamp towards the booth.