Aint too proud to beg sfdg-1

by Susan Donovan

  Rick gave her a tour of gardens overflowing with herbs, tomatoes, raspberries, and figs, plus a variety of trees, including apple, lime, and lemon. He showed her the delphiniums, and the hollyhocks, roses, ferns, snapdragons, geraniums, and dozens of plants with names Josie couldnt remember five seconds after Rick told her. He took her hand and pulled her up to stand on the stone wall, then pointed out over the rolling hills of grapes. He explained to Josie how the vineyards were laid out and how each area would yield grapes destined for a particular type of wine. He took her through the olive grove and said she could take home cases of their olive oil if she wanted. He took her on a tour of the pool and pool house, plus the tennis and basketball courts, where they found Teeny shooting hoops and listening to his iPod.

  Beautiful morning, Teeny said, removing his earbuds. He stood in place and bounced the basketball, catching his breath. Josie caught the way Teenys eyes flashed with a question when he scanned Ricks face.

  The most beautiful in recent memory, Rick said to his friend. Want to take a stroll with us?

  Nah, you two dont need me tagging along. Teeny smiled at Josie. So you like the place?

  Yes, Josie said simply, knowing superlatives werent needed. I sure do.

  Next, they hiked up to the staff housing at the far north edge of the ranch, a line of about a dozen small houses with tiny well-kept yards.

  It was where Rosa and her husband and children and their children lived.

  It looked like a miniature subdivision, Josie thought.

  Rick showed her the charming three-bedroom guest cottage and the newer barna huge structure divided into a section for cars and farm vehicles and a section that had become Ricks custom-made gym. Rick offered to take her through a workout, but with one glance at the free weights, she asked for a rain check.

  Next he took her to the horse barn, where she met Tom, the only cat on the ranch who liked people. He rubbed up against her ankle and purred, undeterred even when Genghis sniffed and poked at him with his paw. Then they went out to the pasture to meet the horsesa paint, two Appaloosas, and three quarter horses. Rick saddled up a couple of the mild-mannered geldings and they took an hour-long trail ride, Chen and Tara tagging along happily. Genghis kept his distance from the intimidating beasts.

  When evening rolled around, they returned to the suite and took a shower together, kissing and soaping and laughing. Rosa served them dinner on the verandascallops with angel-hair pasta, a baby greens salad with walnuts, and then pears and cheese as dessert.

  While Josie sat there in the spacious, comfortable rocker and sipped her tea, it occurred to her that the entire daythrough every glorious moment of that remarkable dayMrs. Needlemans words had echoed through her head: /… you must be brave enough to embrace what youve asked for./ Josie had asked for a lot when she wrote that list, and here he was, sitting next to her in the last golden light of the day. He was a survivor, a seeker, a lover a man whod been through hell and back and decided there had to be a better way.

  No wonder Mrs. Needleman had sensed he was in dangerRick had barely made it out of his twenties alive! And Glorias prediction that Rick would need Josies forgiveness? The old lady had been dead-on there, too.

  Josie reached over and took Ricks hand. He smiled at her. It was bizarre to think that shed only known him for a couple weeks, because it felt like theyd been in each others company forever.

  Did you name this place, or has it always been called Samhain Ranch?

  Rick tilted his head. Interestingly, Madame herself named it and it stuck.

  Isnt that word associated with witchcraft?

  Rick brushed his thumb across the top of her hand.

  From what Ive read, the word?Samhain comes from the ancient Celtic word for?summers end, a harvest festival that doubled as their festival of the dead. It eventually became All Hallows Eve, and then Halloween in modern times. Wiccans consider it a Sabbath, so, yes, you are absolutely right.

  Its the perfect name for a place so magical.

  I think Madame was definitely on to something, Rick said, his smile spreading. He leaned in toward Josie. But Ill tell you a secret.

  She moved closer. I love secrets.

  Theres another definition of the word that I think is a better fit, and the more time I spend here the more Im convinced its what Madame Toulouse had in mind.

  Tell me.

  Well. Rick paused to kiss her cheek. Samhain was also the time for ?taking stock of the year gone by and giving thanks for all you have. It was a time when the supernatural world was separated from our world by only a thin veil, and the connectedness of all life was recognized.

  Thats how I think this place got its name.

  Josie stretched her neck to close the space between them, and left a soft kiss on his lips.

  Excuse me.

  Teeny stood over them looking sheepish. I seem to have rotten timing and I apologize, he said to Josie. Hey, Rick, can I have a moment?

  Rick finished the kiss and patted Josies knee. Be right back.

  Josie took a sip of her tea and looked out at the last bit of dying light beyond the hills. There was a restorative energy in this place.

  There was a power here, and it was joyful and reassuring, something that filled her with calm.

  But she shuddered with a realizationshe could have easily gone her whole life without experiencing this. She could have gone a lifetime without meeting Rick. It would have been so easyand so likely. She would never have known what shed missed, or even that something this wonderful existed.

  The thought made her feel quite lonely.

  The sound of Ricks agitated whisper caught her attention. She got up from the chair and went to the corner of the veranda, where she could peek around the side of the main house. Teeny and Rick stood near the kitchen door, under a light over the doorway.

  Its probably nothing, she heard Rick say.

  Teeny shook his head, obviously distressed. We cant take anything for granted, he said. Something about this smells bad, Rick, and Teeny had sensed her spying. Josie pulled her head back around the corner. She closed her eyes hard, silently cursing herself for being so nosy, then tiptoed back to her chair.

  Rick was entitled to privacy, she told herself. Hed already bared his soul to her, what more did she want? Besides, it was probably just business.

  She heard Ricks footsteps as he returned to the front porch. Sorry, he said, a frown on his face.

  Im the one whos sorry! Josie blurted out. I shouldnt have been eavesdropping!

  Rick laughed, resting his hands on the arms of her chair and bending toward her. Sweetie, youre in my house and in my bed and in my life, so there is no such thing as eavesdropping. I dont have anything to hide from you, and I never will.

  Josie nodded, biting her bottom lip.

  Do you trust me, Josie? Please answer me truthfully.

  I do. There was no question in her heart. But Teeny wanted to talk in private, and he seemed upset…

  Rick stood up and returned to his rocker, moving back and forth a couple times before he spoke. Teeny can be overcautious at times, which isnt a bad thing.

  This is about your security?

  Yes, it is. Ricks voice sounded weary.

  Josie sat up straight. Is something wrong?

  Rick rubbed his chin, as if he werent sure how to answer. He studied Josie a long moment. Margot Cummingss father wants revenge for her deaththe eye-for-an-eye kind of revenge. He wants me dead.

  Josies jaw dropped.

  And Teeny thinks hes already on his way here to kill me.

  CHAPTER 15

  Shed finally gone to sleep. It had taken Rick four hours to convince Josie that Bennett Cummings could not get to him, and that there was nothing to worry about.

  Earlier Rick had asked Teeny to join them on the porch and the two of them spelled everything out for herthe exact nature of Cummingss threat and how many people were on Ricks security payroll at the ranch, at work, and at his home in Pacific Heights. They
explained to Josie how the motion and heat sensors worked and the exact location of all the security cameras. He confessed that the Lexus was custom designed, bullet-and bombproof. He gave her the combination to the gates at Samhain and at his place in the city.

  Teeny described to Josie how hed been keeping track of Cummingss activities all this time. He explained that the old man hadnt been seen in four days, that the word was he had the flu but Teeny didnt believe it. He said that even though Cummingss leased jet was still in a hangar and he hadnt purchased air or rail tickets under his name, he could have traveled under an alias or by car.

  Teeny even told Josie how she herself had been the subject of an exhaustive security check before Rick accepted her invitation.

  Do you remember the day you barged into corporate headquarters? Teeny asked her.

  Josie sniffed. I did not bargeI was wearing a visitors badge, she said.

  Rick went on to tell her that he was reviewing her background report the very moment she showed up outside his office door.

  But you had a big stack of papers in your hand, she said, confused. You could put my life story on a Post-it note.

  It was then that Teeny shot Rick a look of helplessness, and Rick told him hed take over from there. Teeny said good night, and Josie hunkered down to hear the most difficult part. Rick explained that they had to be sure she wasnt connected to Margots father, a chemical company owner named Bennett Cummings. He said her background check included information on her whole family, her friends, her boyfriends, her job history, her finances, and everything in between.

  When he was done, Josie got up without a word. She left the porch and wandered off into the night. Rick gave her about fifteen minutes to be alone, then found her sitting on the stone wall under the big live oak, crying softly. His dogs lay near her dangling feet. Genghis sat, resting his head on her leg.

  I understand youre angry, he said, approaching her slowly before he perched next to her on the wall.

  The dogs were thrilled to see him, even if Josie wasnt.

  Dont give me the silent treatment. Id much prefer it if you called me names and cussed me out.

  Josie turned to him then, her face catching the moonlight. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. Is there anything else? she asked quietly.

  What do you mean?

  Is there anything else you need to tell me?

  No.

  Nothing? Are you absolutely sure?

  Rick sighed, knowing hed come this far and he had no choice but to let go of the last morsel, as much as it pained him. Theres one more thing.

  Josie swiveled on her butt so that she faced him, then crossed her legs.

  This ought to be interesting.

  Youre pissed. You have a right to beI violated your privacy. But I was explaining to you how careful we are, that the reason Im not overly concerned about Bennett Cummings is because we do our homework, without fail.

  This is an awful lot to digest in just one day, she said.

  I know. Rick reached for her hand but she pulled it away.

  You spied on me and my family and friends, Josie said, shaking her head.

  Youre carrying around so many secrets I dont see how you can stand up straight. And if I have a relationship with you, Ill be a part of all this.

  I understand.

  This is way over my head, Josie said. My last boyfriend was normalhe designed computer software and played in a pickup basketball league.

  Waityou already know that, dont you?

  I am who I am, Josie. Thats what Ive been trying to tell you all daythis is the whole package. I know its a lot to accept, and I know it isnt everyones idea of a Prince Charming.

  Good Lord, Josie said, wiping her cheeks. Look, Rick, theres only one thing thats a deal-breaker for me. Its the part about the children.

  What children? he asked. He had no idea what she was talking about.

  If you are getting ready to tell me you really did get someone pregnant or you havent taken care of a child you brought into this world, Ill just No, Josie. There are no kids. No pregnancies. Im asking you to believe me.

  Josie waited a moment before she continued. You know, everything else youve done was reckless and stupid and selfish. I get the picture. And youve paid a horrible price for all of it. But you never once set out to destroy someone else.

  Rick nodded soberly.

  But men who deny their own children are the lowest of the low. Its unforgivable.

  I agree.

  Josie chomped down on her bottom lip and hugged her arms close across her chest. She searched Ricks face in the moonlight, looking for what, he wasnt sure, but he was happy to let her stare as long as she needed.

  He had nothing to hide.

  I believe you, she said eventually. So, whats the one last thing you have to tell me?

  Rick sighed. Youll be the sixth person in the world to know this.

  Josie didnt seem impressed. Yeah?

  Im chairman of a nonprofit called the Meadowbrook Foundation. It pays the medical bills of severe head injury patients without insurance coverage.

  Josie squinted at him. A foundation?

  I hired an executive director to keep it running so I can stay behind the scenes. I dont want any recognition.

  Thats it? Thats the one last thing?

  Yes.

  She uncrossed her arms and let her hands fall in her lap. Very quietly she said, Its a way of remembering Margot, isnt it?

  It is.

  So why that name?

  We crashed on Meadowbrook Lane. I thought it would be as good a name as any.

  Josie continued to study him, her face slowly relaxing, her frown subsiding. You sure thats the last thing?

  Positive.

  Come on. Josie hopped up from the wall and reached out her hand. They walked in silence up the lawn and toward the main house, the dogs running alongside. They climbed the stairs to the balcony outside Ricks suite. When they reached the door, Josie looked up at Rick, her face stricken.

  I have my own secret, she whispered. I wont feel right until I tell you.

  Whatever it is, Im listening.

  I ordered you from the universe.

  Rick laughed, not sure hed heard correctly. You want to elaborate on that a bit?

  Josie gave him a crooked smile. Its a long story, but I interviewed this old lady for her husbands obit, and when I was leaving she told me that before the next morning I needed to make a list of the exact qualities I wanted in a man and send it to the universe.

  Interesting, he said.

  I finished typing it into my laptop just before I walked into the Celestial Pet grooming salon, the morning we met.

  Thats very romantic.

  Josie laughed. Its spooky, is what it is. She took a deep breath. This lady also told me that it would take courage to accept the man I had requested.

  Rick raised an eyebrow. No kidding?

  And then she came into the paper the other day to tell me she sensed you were in danger.

  Rick stiffened. Who the hell /is/ this woman?

  Mrs. Gloria Needleman, eighty-four, of Cayuga Terrace.

  Josie. Josie. Josie. Rick pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tight. Someday, when we tell our grandkids about how we met, theyll think were completely crazy.

  Maybe theyll be right, she said.

  All that had taken place hours before, and now Rick lay in the dark, Josie asleep at his side. In his last few moments of consciousness, he made his list for the day. He was grateful for the gift of communication. He was grateful for the freedom that came with honesty.

  Once again, he was grateful for Josie.

  Gwen had been taught not to cry. She was told that it spoiled her ivory complexion and made her eyes red, her lids puffy, and her nose obscenely swollen. Crying didnt flatter even the most beautiful of women, as her mother used to tell her. Extraordinary women, she said, knew the most important accessory was composure. The way to catch a rich, powerful, and handsome man was to be
beautiful, intelligent, /and/ serene, even if it were only on the outside. /Oh, really?/ Gwen thought, looking into the mirror. /Go fuck yourself, Mother./ She peered closer into her huge bedroom mirror, attempting to assess the damage caused by too much wine and a two-day temper tantrum. She turned her face to catch the light. She looked undone. Hungover. Ruined. No man would want her like this, and certainly not Rick Rousseau. He didnt want her at her very best.

  Gwen ran a hand through her knotted hair. It was a shame, really. A waste. She was thirty-two, and shed thrown away the very best years of her life chasing a phantom. Her mother had advised her to never give up on Rick Rousseau. She told Gwen that he was too perfect a catch to let get away. Her mother had laid it out like this: very rich men who make their mistakes early in life were the ones worth pursuing. /Wrong again, Mother/.

  Gwen stumbled across the luxurious white carpet of her bedroom and down the hallway. She veered into the study, and fell into her desk chair.

  She rooted through the drawers, creating havoc in her perfectly organized home-office environment.

  She knew shed hidden Bennett Cummingss personal cell phone number somewhere. It wasnt exactly something she could put into her BlackBerry or leave lying around her condo, now was it? If Worrell ever found out Cummings had written to her last yearand she hadnt reported itGwen would be out on the street. Worrell was insane when it came to loyalty. He was insane when it came to Rick.

  She remembered how, the day she was hired to run Meadowbrook, Worrell pulled her aside and said hed always have his eye on her. He explained that Ricks trust in her was conditional, dependent on one thing and one thing aloneWorrells opinion.

  That man was such an ass. She hated him. She hated Rick, too. She hated him for not wanting her. /Well, fuck you, Rick,/ she thought. /Good luck finding some other love-struck sycophant to run your stupid foundation./ Its not like shed taken the job for the professional challengeshed taken it for /him/!

  A dry sob escaped from Gwens throat, which promptly turned into the hiccups. Where was that damn thing? Where had she put it? /Hiccup!/ Her fingers touched a small piece of cardboard taped to the back panel of the bottom desk drawer. Aha! Now she remembered. She was so cunning! /Hiccup!/ Maybe she should look into a position in the intelligence community.