The Nameless Survivor (Valkyrie)

by Hawk, J. K.

  I wasn’t strong enough to pull away, and although I wished for it to end, I could not endure choking to death. So I gave into to him, I stopped fighting and ran my hands between his legs gently until he released his grip on my hair and let me take control. The taste was horrible, like spoiled cheese and sweat with the aroma of a stale out-house. It took everything in me to not throw up.

  Paul eventually laid back onto the bed and placed his hands behind his head. However within moments it was over and I found myself once again choking. With disgust I gagged and spit the salty-slime from my mouth. BP just laughed, and without warning he slapped me hard across the face. The strike felt like a thousand bee-stings piercing my skin, and I wanted to cry but was again all out of tears.

  Next he tossed me back onto the bed, face down again. My rear throbbed with unbearable pain, even rubbing my cheeks did nothing to ease it. I could feel that they were severely swollen. I tried to beg, plead, say anything, but only a rasping squeal escaped my lips as he climbed on top of me. I could hear my neck cracking within my ears as he pulled my head back by my hair and whispered in my ear.

  “By morning you'll be walking bull-legged.” With a quick spat, a glob of dribble rolled down my cheek as his pushed himself deep into my rear. The pain he caused before was nothing compared to this, and I just took it, all the while praying for it to end. Praying to just die. I tried to do as Lilly suggested, let my mind drift away to someplace better. And Thankfully I don't remember any more of that night, I had lost time well before he was finished with me.

  I awoke early the next morning lying next to BP with his arm draped over me, snoring away like a big mean bear. Excruciating pain pulsed from inside and out, only to be topped with the smell of his weeks old sweat smeared all over my body. It was all too much for me, like a punch to the stomach, and I couldn't hold it back. Yesterday's lunch exploded from my mouth like a volcano.

  Big Paul was not pleased.

  continuance;

  The following week I suffered Paul's wrath daily. I was kept prisoner in his room and fed little, beaten and raped regularly without remorse. Neither Lilly nor Tommy came to check on me, it was just Paul and I. Although I frequently prayed for death, there was still something inside that drove me to stick it out through all the pain and abuse, something drove me to live. The thought of escape was still on my mind, and knowing Tommy, it was still on his as well.

  Every so often, when BP left the room, I would notice a faint shadow moving along the floor, spilling in from the gap at the bottom of the door. I knew it was Tommy, sitting with his tiny ear pressed against wood. He must have heard my cries when BP was having his way with me, which I am sure had broken his sweet little heart. And then, just before BP returned, that faint little shadow would scurry away.

  It wasn’t long before BP let me out and put me back to work. The days were much colder now with frost lingering on the grass for half the day. You could almost smell the coming snow in the air, and I dreaded that Tommy and I would not be able to get away in time. Spending many winters hiding out in abandoned buildings was almost unbearable. But a full winter out in the woods, I fear we would not survive.

  One morning, while I was stacking wood out in back of the house, Tommy peered out from behind the wood pile like a stealthy little fox. I looked about frantically to be sure no one else was around, especially BP. Paul tended to get jealous easily, even with innocent little Tommy.

  “Don't worry, everyone is out front and BP has gone hunting.” He whispered with reassurance.

  “I've missed you Tommy.” I said with a smile. He stepped out from behind the pile and sat down on the chopping block, grabbing my hand and pulling me down to him.

  “I've have everything we need, but it's getting cold, we have to leave soon.” he said, with excitement

  “We can't go Tommy,” I reluctantly said, “I was wrong, BP will kill you, I know it.”

  With a rapid head shake, “I'll take the chance, I saw through the upstairs window, I saw what he does to you. I won't let that happen anymore.”

  “But Tommy...”

  “Mia, we leave in the morning. BP is getting up before dawn to head out fishing with most of the guys. Everyone else will still be asleep.” I smiled at him, such a smart and caring little boy.

  “Okay, Tommy, in the morning.” I said as he fumbled around in his pockets and pulled out a small string of teeth, a necklace.

  “I made this for you.” He said. “I spent all week pulling em from an old beaver skull I had been saving. It's not done yet, though, I still need to carve something into it. But, I'll have it ready by morning, I promise.” He proudly shoved it back into his pocket as I leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

  Blushing again, he turned and merrily headed back off around the house with the others. “I'll come fetch you in the morning.” he whispered back at me.

  For the rest of the afternoon I stacked the wood with the thoughts of finally being free of this place driving me to keep busy. Starting a peaceful life with Tommy at my side was exactly what I had been looking for all these years. To be happy, unafraid, and most importantly to be alive. I no longer needed my parents, or a family. Only Tommy and a fresh start for the both of us.

  That night I was locked back up in Paul’s room. BP stayed with the rest of the men drinking as I lay in his bed smiling, thinking about our upcoming break for freedom. Happy in the thought that I would get one peaceful night of sleep before our escape. And as my mind raced back and forth I slowly began to doze off, not before big fluffy flakes of snow started to drift by the window like angels falling from the sky.

  The peaceful sleep I hoped for did not last for long. I awoke to the unmistakable pain of BP thrusting himself into me once again, however the pain had become somewhat bearable over the past week as I had become numb to his will. He never entered me the proper way, the way a husband a wife would. Always from behind, and never gently as I imagined it should be.

  “I have no use for your dumb-ass children.” He would say, and it was that thought that helped make his abuse sufferable. The thought of not having to raise his baby, not having to love something born from so much filth and hate. All the pain in the world was worth knowing that his seed would never live on, at lead not within me.

  “Big Paul is here sweetie - I'm here.” He whispered almost sweetly into my ear as each thrust became harder and harder. I prayed to lose time again, prayed to sleep through it. But God did not answer, and I braved Big Paul's evil desire completely aware. Fortunately he did not last very long as he filled me with his vileness before rolling over into a drunken slumber. I didn't move, I simply laid there and silently tried to cry myself to sleep. But I couldn't, thoughts of anger filled my head, only slightly overshadowed by the thought of what was to come. Only a few more hours before Tommy came for me, only a few!

  the following & final day;

  “Mia, it’s time!”

  I awoke to Tommy gently shaking my bare shoulder as he whispered into my ear. Quickly I sat up, the blanket falling to my waste and exposing my bare breasts to the nippy air. Tommy blushed slightly, trying to look away like a gentlemen. Generously held out a bundle of clothes; pants, a sweater, socks, and an old army jacket. Just enough to keep me warm out in the falling snow. My Tommy, he was such a thoughtful and loving little man.

  Once I was fully clothed I followed him out of the room and down the stairs. Trying to walk swiftly yet quietly, desperately avoiding each creaky, loose board. Tommy immediately made his way out the front door, but something held me back. Lilly, I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye. Aside from Tommy, she was the only other person that was nice to me.

  “Mia, let’s go!” Tommy's urgent whispers were heard, but ignored. Lilly was laying on the couch by the smoldering fireplace with only a sheet to cover her from the cold. She was shivering feverishly, and she knew as not to ask Paul for something warmer. So quickly I rushed back upstairs to retrieve a blanket from BP's bed to cover her u
p.

  When I returned and draped the blanket over her I noticed that she was not asleep. She was just lying there, staring up at me in silence. I could tell she had been crying most of the night, her nose and eyes were redder than a fire-truck. She had still not gotten over Amy's death, and I fear she still blamed me for it.

  “I – I just wanted to say thank you.” I stuttered, “And – And I am sorry about Amy, I never wanted anything to happen too her.” There was no response, so I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You take care of yourself.” I said as I began to walk towards the front door.

  Her muddled raspy voice broke the silence, “Run.”

  Unsure if she had actually spoken I looked back at her, she was still covered up on the couch and staring out across the room. Shrugging it off I turned back towards the door only to find a shadowy figure before me. There was no time for me to react as he grabbed hold of me and covered my mouth.

  “Trying to escape, aye?” It wasn't BP, I think his name was Red, or maybe it was Rex. He was one of BP's workers, generally a quiet man who always kept to himself. “How bout I give BP's little fuck-buddy a good old test drive!” He said while groping my chest.

  As the man began to drag me towards his room I thought back at Tommy's warnings, thought of how I should of listened to him. By then I figured Tommy was deep in the woods, on his way to what was supposed to be freedom for us both. But once again, I found myself trapped, and there was no way I could escape. I was a fool.

  But, before entering his room, he released his grip on me and we both tumbled down to the floor. A small knife stuck out from the back of his neck, and blood slowly oozed onto the floor. Above him stood Tommy, a look of overwhelming panic in his eyes and his blood smeared hands raised up into the air flailing about.

  “Mia, RUN!”

  Scrambling to my feet we both ran, Tommy's hand gripping mine tight and pulling me back towards the front door. We made it outside before he let go and I followed him through a foot of snow and out behind the shed where he revealed a large backpack filled to the rim with supplies. Without a word we immediately headed off up the driveway, hand in hand towards the main road.

  “I told you we needed to go!” He lectured.

  “I’m sorry Tommy.” I said.

  “It’s okay.” His tone instantly becoming sweeter. “We need to head straight into the forest across the main road and make our way to a ridge about a half day's hike from here. We can follow that up and over the mountain.” He went silent and stopped dead in his tracks. He listened intently as if he had heard something, but I myself could not hear anything over the thumping of my heart. Moments passed before we started back off.

  “They use to harvest wood up in those mountains and the loggers would sleep in small shacks that are scattered all over. We can find one and stay there for the winter.” he proclaimed. “It should only take us two days at most.”

  We made it easily enough to the road, with the forest on the other side like a cloak waiting to shade us from impending evils. We both smiled at each other with a feeling of success, our plan had actually worked. We were only feet away from safety, mere feet from our own freedom. Tommy stepped out into the road but abruptly stopped.

  “What the fuck is this bullshit!” BP's voice rung out like a church bell at the stroke of midnight. We both looked down the road a ways to find BP and his men standing beside the once again, broken-down truck. BP rushed towards us with a large wrench clenched in his hand. Tommy grabbed hold of my arm and pulled hard, almost dragging me across the road and into the shroud of trees.

  “RUN!” he hollered as we both dashed off into the woods. The sounds of shouting from BP's men were muffled by BP's enormous footsteps as he pursued right behind us. My heart pounded in my chest as we made our way up the mountain, trudging through the fresh yet heavy snow. The sun had just barely begun to crawl up over the horizon and burn through the clouds. Yet, it was enough light to allow us to see the faint outline of rocky outcrops and fallen trees.

  We ran hard and fast, trying to widen the gap between us and BP. Still, Paul was determined to stop us and followed as fast as his large form could. Frantic, I stumbled and fell, giving Paul his chance to catch up. Tommy ran back and pulled me to my feet while pushing me ahead of him, ensuring that I was safe. I instantly began to run again, slipping with almost every step but still managing to pick myself up and continue on.

  “Run, Mia!” Tommy’s voice echoed throughout the forest, and I did, dodging trees and other debris hidden by the snow as I made my way up the mountainside. Eventually I glanced back only to fine that Tommy had fallen behind and BP was right on his feet. He too kept slipping, slowing his climb and allowing Paul to get even closer.

  “RUN, TOMMY, RUN!” I screamed, but it was too late. BP reached out and grabbed Tommy's hair hard, then slammed his head furiously into a nearby tree. Tommy fell limp to the snow covered ground. My scream echoed across the mountainside, I had stopped dead in my tracks and stared back at Tommy’s lifeless body in the snow, and BP standing furiously above him.

  “I'M GONNA SKULL FUCK YOU GIRL!” he threatened. But then, another figure stumbled out of the darkness and grabbed hold of Paul’s arm. BP easily flung the figure to the ground as others began to fumble towards him. It was a herd, and instantly Paul ended his pursuit to quickly make his way back towards the road, still cursing at me, at Tommy and at the dead. I had seen his anger before, but nothing like this, and never before had I heard words like that.

  The herd never noticed me, and I wished to keep it that way, so I continued up the mountain while sobbing quietly to myself. BP's shouts faded like ghosts in the breaking dawn, and it wasn't long before I cleared the ridge. It was just before midday that I began making my way down the other side into an area even more shrouded with trees. I zig-zagged through the maze, creating a confusing trail to ensure that I would never be found. It seemed like hours before I stumbled to my knees in exhaustion and relief. Out of breath I managed to crawl up-under a clump of trees while pulling in piles of snow to cover me. Curled up into a ball I squeezed my knees tight to my chest as I cried and sobbed.

  “Poor Tommy,” I whimpered, “It's all my fault.”

  Once again, and like many night thereafter, I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke later that afternoon I quickly headed off deeper into the mountains. BP must have given up his search, enough snow had blown over my tracks to keep them hidden. But, for a while it felt as if he was with me, watching me, playing games. Letting me feel safe before he jumped out and snagged me. He never did, and I was relieved. Even though I had made it, escaped BP's clutch, I was now alone with the guilt of Tommy's death hanging over me. All I had with me were the clothes on my back, and even though I was sure to die out there, I was happy in knowing that it would not be at the hands of BP.

  It seemed like I spent forever in those woods, hiding out in caves and fallen hallowed trees to get away from the bitter-cold. Snow and the occasional frozen berry and nut's were all I had to eat. I never did find the shacks that Tommy had mentioned, and the nut's and berry's that barely eased my belly became less and less the further into winter I trekked.

  Snow was my only sustenance for the last week of my journey, and I knew death was not far off. I was sure of it, and even welcomed it to ease my suffering. But that something that drove me to survive still hung around, especially the day I ran into a mob of the Hungry. Thankfully that was also the day that you had found me, the day I was saved.

  supplemental;

  I found myself wiping my own tears away. Just the thought of that vile beast, Paul, still walking this earth filled me with such rage and contempt. It took everything in me to not dash out the door to track him down, to torture him with every imaginable form of pain that I could. Killing that evil bastard would bring me much needed satisfaction. What a cruel life she has lived. Life? What kind of life is that? She may have been better off eaten alive then to live with such horrid memories. And although hate filled my heart,
I found myself resting next to Mia and holding her tightly in my arms. Hoping to squeeze all that pain away. I realize now that the forewarning within her eyes was not of my imagination. Her story was most definitely more than I wanted – needed to hear. Much more...

  17th day, 5th Sturgeon Moon

  Mia has all but forgotten about her nightmares, and she speaks no more of Big Paul, or even Tommy for that matter. Yet, she does wear his necklace proudly, and refuses to ever take it off. I catch her from time to time, caressing the teeth, like she did that first night when she told her tale of woe. And, I know in those quiet moments she is thinking back on their friendship, reminiscing of past good.

  The days have become hot and humid, and the constant buzz of cicadas resonates throughout forests like a damned fire-alarm. We have had much luck in hunting this summer, a couple small deer, a good sized black-bear, and even Mia got herself a few rabbits. For which their pelts have gone straight into Mia's new wardrobe. She is beginning to resemble myself, a mountain-man – woman.

  We have grown close and find ourselves spending most days just talking, about our likes and dislikes, and funny stories from before the outbreak. We avoid the tragic tales, often stopping mid-sentence as we remember where the story leads. Then the other quickly speaks up with a yarn of their own, bequeathing a needed change of subject.

  I've also been teaching her the ways of survival. Not just how to avoid, or if need be, kill the infected. But, how to hunt, forage, and fish. Mostly simple things, passed down from ancient man, things most of former society would have balked at. Such as squeezing the water out of the moss that grows along a brook, rather than dangerously drinking directly from it. And Mia is eager to learn, and learns fast too. Old Ben was right, she is a great shot, almost as good as myself. But, when the shot counts, she almost always fails. Her past has fractured her nerves, and keeping calm while under pressure may be her only flaw. It is something that I hope I can help her overcome.