Delilah's Daughters

by Angela Benson

  The door opened and the surgeon entered. “Hello, Veronica,” she said, pulling up a rolling stool to sit close to the table. “How are things going?”

  “That’s what I’m waiting for you to tell me,” Veronica said, with a smile.

  The doctor smiled back. “I guess you’re right.” She flipped through the chart of papers she had in her hands. “We’ve kept you pretty busy this morning.”

  “I don’t have a problem with your being thorough. I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

  The doctor looked up at her. “Well, I have good news for you. There’s nothing in your medical history or in the results of the tests you’ve taken today to suggest that the surgery will be a problem for you. In fact, you’re a great candidate. There are no indications you’ll have anything but a successful surgery and recovery.” She glanced down at the paperwork again. “I see here that you’re in training for the Peachtree Road Race.”

  Veronica nodded, trying to hide her disappointment that there was no medical reason for her to pass on the surgery.

  “Well, we’ll want to hold off on the surgery until after the race. We’re not going to want you to engage in any strenuous upper-body exercise for a few weeks after the procedure. Other than that, from a physical standpoint, you’re good to go.”

  “Sounds good,” Veronica said, taking a bit of comfort in the reprieve that the road race gave her.

  The doctor lifted a brow. “As I said, I don’t have any health concerns about you and the surgery, but I do have some reservations based on the results of the psychological testing. Why do you want to have this surgery, Veronica?”

  Veronica tried to remember the answers she’d written on the test form. “The handlers from the record company think I need it to enhance my image. As a new artist, I need all the edge I can get.”

  The doctor put down her clipboard. “But how do you personally feel about it?”

  Veronica wasn’t sure how to respond. She knew Legends had set up this appointment, so she wondered how much confidentiality the doctor would maintain. After all, Legends was paying the bill.

  As if understanding her concerns, the doctor said, “Legends sends me several patients a year, but I don’t share patient records with them without patient approval. What is said between you and me remains between you and me. So tell me what your reservations are, and I may be able to help you.”

  Veronica looked at the older woman, debating how honest to be with her. Then she lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug. “I’ve never seen myself as a plastic surgery person. I’ve always been satisfied with my looks, so the idea of enhancements doesn’t sit well with me. I can’t really explain it any better than that. I’m doing this because the record company says I need to do it. If the decision were mine alone, I wouldn’t do it.”

  “Well, you’re wrong about one thing,” the doctor said. “The decision is yours. I can’t ethically operate on you if I feel you’re being coerced in any way.”

  “They’re not coercing me,” Veronica said, trying to clean up her previous statement. She feared she’d been too honest. “The final decision is mine.”

  “But you think that if you don’t do it, it will negatively affect your relationship with the label?”

  And my relationship with my husband, she thought. “I guess you could say that.”

  “Well, that’s what I call coercion,” the doctor said. “You need to be mentally and physically ready for this surgery. Today, you’re not mentally ready.”

  “Yes, I am,” Veronica said. “It’s just jitters.”

  The doctor didn’t look convinced. “It’s okay to have the jitters, Veronica. I see them quite often in patients. Some women do this surgery for the men in their lives. Other women, like you, do it looking for some career boost. Then other women do it because they want to feel better about themselves. No reason is better than another. My only requirement is that the woman wants to do it and feels it’s her choice. That’s the way I want you to feel. The good news in your case is that the earliest we can do the surgery is after the race. Why don’t we schedule another visit for you a week or so after the race? That gives you some time to consider what you really want. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds good to me, but what will you tell the folks at the record company?” Veronica didn’t want to give Tia or the record company any reason to doubt her commitment to her new career.

  “Unless you give me permission to discuss your case with folks at the label, which you haven’t, the only information they get from me is the bill. If they request any additional information, I’ll need your permission to release it.” She turned back to the file. “In fact, here’s the permission form.” She turned the form so Veronica could see it. “Until you sign this, no information leaves this office.”

  Veronica thought about it for a moment. “It’s okay to tell them that we’re meeting again after the race and will schedule the surgery then. That’s what I’ll say if anyone asks.”

  The doctor bobbed her head. “Good. That’s also what I’ll say if I’m asked, though I doubt anyone will contact me. The only time they’ve asked for records in the past has been if there was some indicator that the patient wasn’t a good candidate for the surgery. And again, they’d only know that because the patient shared that information.”

  Veronica smiled, though she was not really 100 percent confident Legends wouldn’t get access to her information. “Thanks, doctor,” she said. “You’ve eased my mind about the entire process.”

  “That’s part of my job. This surgery will only be a success if it’s what you want. If you disagree with the record company, this may be the time for you to take a stand. But if you think the enhancements will result in some positive benefit to you, have the procedure done with pride. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

  Veronica merely nodded. At this point, she was just glad for the short reprieve the race had given her.

  Chapter 38

  Delilah sat on the back porch swing taking in the morning sun. She knew her time was growing short. Tommy had grown impatient with her lack of progress in telling the girls the truth about Morgan and had threatened to tell them himself. While no part of her believed he’d actually do that, his threat made clear how urgent it was for her to do it. Oh, Rocky, how I wish you were here. Where are the girls going to turn when they find out what I did? They’re going to hate me, but they could sympathize with you. They could, and would, turn to you for support and understanding. Now they have nowhere to turn.

  “Momma.” She heard Alisha’s voice call at the same time she felt her tug on her arm. “Snap out of it.”

  Delilah shook off her thoughts and turned to her daughter. “What’s wrong, Alisha?” she asked.

  Alisha dropped down on the floor in front of her. “I should be asking you that. What were you thinking about? You seemed to be a million miles away.”

  The door is open, Delilah, a soft voice in her head told her. Not now, she responded silently to the voice. “Nothing important,” she said to Alisha. “What do you need?”

  Alisha sat back on her thighs. “It’s Roxanne. Something’s wrong with her, Momma. Haven’t you noticed how withdrawn she’s been? I’m worried about her.”

  Delilah patted Alisha’s knee. She’d been so lost in her own worries that she hadn’t paid much attention to Roxanne or Alisha lately. “I know you’re worried, sweetheart, but Roxanne is a grown woman. She’ll talk when she’s ready to talk.”

  Tears filled Alisha’s eyes. “I can’t stand to see her like this. She’s not interested in the progress Mr. Tommy and I are making on the demo. She doesn’t seem to care about the group or anything else.”

  Delilah put her hands on Alisha’s face and wiped her tears. “I know you love your sister, sweetheart, but I can’t make her talk, and neither can you. We just have to be there for her when she’s ready.”

  “Something happened on that job that she’s not telling us,” Alisha said. “It had to be something r
eally bad for Roxanne to quit. She had wanted to win the Sing for America contest as much we all had, but after we didn’t win, she was glad to be able to go back to the cruise line. Why would she up and quit?”

  Delilah had asked herself the same question. She didn’t believe the tall tale Roxanne had told about quitting her job, but she hadn’t pushed because her oldest daughter’s eyes had shown how emotionally raw she was. A push might have done more harm than good. She couldn’t help but think the whole thing had something to do with a man. Didn’t most women’s problems come back to a man? Mine certainly did, she thought, as a picture of Morgan flashed in her mind.

  “It’s been two weeks, Momma,” Alisha reminded her. “You’ve given her enough time to come to us. I think you should go to her. She’s probably waiting for you to come to her.”

  Delilah pulled back from Alisha. “You really think so?”

  Alisha wiped her eyes. “I don’t know. I just want to see her smile again. It’s hard for me to write songs of hope when it seems my sister has none. There has to be something we can do.”

  “Okay,” Delilah said, shaking off her own problems. “I’ll talk to her.”

  “When?” Alisha asked. “She’s in her room now. I heard her come in a while ago.”

  “You’re not going to give up until I speak to her, are you?”

  Alisha shook her head.

  Giving in to her daughter’s request, Delilah got up from the back porch swing. “I’ll go check on her.”

  “Thanks, Momma,” Alisha said.

  Delilah entered the house through the back door and went up the back stairs to the second floor, where all their bedrooms were. Roxanne’s door was closed, as it often was these days, so she knocked. “It’s me, sweetheart,” she said. “May I come in?”

  Delilah heard movement behind the door, and then Roxanne said, “Come on in.”

  Delilah’s heart broke to see her twenty-eight-year-old daughter huddled up in her bed the way she had done when she was a child. Delilah sat on the edge of the bed and brushed a lock of her daughter’s hair off her forehead. “Tell me what’s wrong, sweetheart,” she said. “You’ll feel better if you get it off your chest.”

  “It’s nothing. I’m fine, Momma.”

  Delilah shook her head. “You’ve been telling me and Alisha that for two weeks, but clearly you’re not fine. Something’s bothering you, and I want to know what it is.”

  Roxanne covered her face with her hands and began to weep.

  Delilah sat closer so she could hold her daughter. “It’ll be all right, Roxanne. Whatever it is, it’ll be all right.”

  Roxanne wept harder, and Delilah just held her. When her tears subsided, Roxanne said, “I’m so ashamed.”

  Delilah tipped her chin up. “The best way to get rid of shame is name the thing that makes you ashamed. So tell me. I love you and I won’t judge you.”

  Roxanne’s tears began to fall again.

  Delilah rubbed her back. “Tell me, sweetheart,” she urged.

  Roxanne wiped at her tears with the backs of her hands. “I’ve been lying to you and Alisha, Momma. I didn’t quit my job,” she said. “I was fired.”

  Delilah stopped rubbing Roxanne’s back. “I’m surprised to hear that. I thought you were doing so well on your job, especially after the cruise line treated us all to a free cruise. What happened? Why did they fire you?”

  Roxanne covered her face. “It was all my fault. I was so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

  “I doubt it was all your fault,” Delilah said. “Tell me.”

  Roxanne lowered her hands from her face. “It was my fault. I was dating one of the ship’s captains.”

  Delilah frowned. She knew a man had to be in there somewhere. “Was there a no-fraternization rule? Did he get fired too?”

  Roxanne shook her head. “I was the only person fired.”

  “Well, that doesn’t sound right,” Delilah said. “Is there any way you can fight it? I would think they’d have to treat both of you the same.”

  Roxanne began to cry again. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’ve shamed myself and the family.”

  “Please, Roxanne,” Delilah said. “A lot of people are losing their jobs, especially in this economy. Besides, it sounds to me like they treated you unfairly if they didn’t fire the captain as well.”

  “He had family contacts,” Roxanne said.

  “Ahh,” Delilah said. “Does his family own the cruise line? If that’s the case, it seems to me you have an even stronger reason to fight the dismissal.”

  Roxanne shook her head. “You don’t understand,” she said, meeting her mother’s eyes. “It’s not his family. It’s his wife’s family.”

  “Wife?” Delilah repeated, sure she had misheard.

  “He was married.”

  “Married?” Delilah repeated. This time she was sure she had heard correctly, she just couldn’t believe it. None of her daughters would date a married man.

  “Yes, married,” Roxanne said, her eyes red from her tears. “I’m so sorry, Momma. I’m sorry I let you down, and I’m sorry for being stupid enough to date a married man in the first place. I knew I was wrong. I knew it, but I kept seeing him anyway.”

  A married man. Delilah still couldn’t get her mind around it. “How did this happen, Roxanne? How did you let this happen?”

  “I don’t know,” Roxanne said, with a slight shrug. “It just happened.”

  Delilah got up from the bed. “Adultery doesn’t just happen. You know better, Roxanne. Your father and I brought you up to know better. What were you thinking?”

  “I wasn’t thinking,” she said.

  “You surely weren’t,” Delilah said, turning away from her daughter so she couldn’t see the guilt she felt. “You weren’t thinking about your family or the man’s family. If you had, this never would have happened.”

  “You said you wouldn’t judge me,” Roxanne reminded her. “But I knew you would. I knew it.”

  Delilah turned to her, but found it hard to meet her eyes. “I’m not judging you,” she said. How could she? “I’m disappointed. Very disappointed.”

  “I know,” Roxanne said, sniffling now. “And I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

  Delilah didn’t know what else to say either. “Maybe we’ve said all we need to say for now. We can talk more later. I need some time to digest what you’ve told me.”

  Roxanne dried her tears with her bed covers. “I understand,” she said. “Please don’t tell Alisha. I don’t want her to know. I couldn’t take both of you being disappointed in me. Not now. I need some time too.”

  Delilah nodded and left the room. After she pulled the door closed behind her, she leaned back against it. What have I done, Lord? Veronica leaves the group, and now Roxanne is caught in adultery. Will revealing the secret about Alisha’s birth be too much for this family to bear?

  Chapter 39

  Delilah felt the walls closing in on her. The pressure from the girls and Tommy grew every day. Nothing had improved since her talk with Roxanne. Her eldest daughter was still withdrawn. Alisha had followed her lead and was now buried in work on the demo. A part of Delilah was glad they’d pulled away. It made it easier for her to pull away as well.

  Her avoidance strategy would have to end today. She had pushed Tommy to his limit. His lunch invitation today was a command appearance. She owed it to him to stop acting like a child. She knew she needed to tell the girls about Morgan, but she just couldn’t muster the courage. Hopefully, Tommy would help her come up with a strategy. She needed all the help she could get.

  As she approached the doors to his office, she blotted her lips together so they would be moist and inviting. She was not above using her physical attributes to blunt Tommy’s wrath. She’d even taken a little more time with her appearance that morning, choosing a blue sheath since blue was Tommy’s favorite color, and accessorizing with the pearl necklace and earring set that he’d given her for her birt
hday last year. She didn’t feel the least bit guilty about her attempt to soften him up. A woman had to do what a woman had to do.

  After engaging in their normal pleasantries, Delilah waved off Tommy’s secretary, not wanting to be escorted into his office. With a huge smile on her face, she walked through his office doors. “Tommy,” she called.

  “We’re over here, Delilah,” he returned.

  We, she thought. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Your secretary didn’t tell me—”

  Delilah’s words froze in her throat when she saw Morgan seated on the corner couch.

  He stood when he saw her. “It’s been a long time, Delilah.”

  Delilah turned to Tommy without responding to Morgan. “What are you doing, Tommy?” she asked. “Why is he here?”

  Tommy walked to her and took her hands in his. “He’s here because I invited him. By inviting him, I’m helping you do something that you don’t seem to be able to do on your own.”

  She tried to pull her hands away, but he wouldn’t let her. “You had no right,” she said.

  He squeezed her fingers. “I love you,” he said, “and that gives me the right.”

  His simple declaration of love broke down her defenses. “I’m not ready.”

  He looked deeply into her eyes, and she knew he was willing her his strength. “I know you’re not ready,” he said. “How does one get ready for something like this? I don’t think you do. It’s like taking castor oil: you hold your nose and swallow.”

  She gave him a weak smile. “Today is castor oil day?”

  He nodded. “You don’t have to do this alone, Delilah, but you do have to do it.” He glanced at his watch. “Alisha is in the studio—”

  “Alisha’s here?” Delilah said, alarm in her voice. “I’m not ready to tell her, Tommy. Really, I’m not ready.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to tell her now. You and Morgan need to talk first. Invite him to dinner. That way, you two can tell her at home tonight.”