Black Butterfly

by Michelle, Nika

  “Are you okay Seandra?” He asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t try that with me Seandra. You’ve been walking around sulking all day. Don’t tell me it’s nothing. What’s up?” He saw right through me,

  “It’s nothing Ahmad, really. I’m just exhausted. I think I need to go to my dressing room to relax for a little bit. If it’s okay.”

  He looked at me and shook his head. He lowered his voice. “Is it Maurice? Are the two of you having problems? If so you need to not let it interfere with your career. You need to handle that. For real,” he stated firmly.

  “Maurice and I are fine. I just need a thirty minute power nap. Okay. I’m fine. Just tired.” I forced a smile on my face.

  He was silent, as if he was contemplating whether he should let me take a nap, or make my ass get back on the set.

  “Okay. Thirty minutes and that’s it Seandra. The show can’t go on without the star.”

  I went to my dressing room and closed the door, which automatically locked from the outside. I reluctantly pulled out my cell phone to call Maurice. I hated to be the first to bend, but I couldn’t stand it any longer. I felt sick without my man.

  “Hello,” he said groggily.

  “Were you asleep baby?” I asked meekly.

  “Seandra…”

  “Why haven’t you called me?”

  “Because you told me not to. Remember?”

  I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. “That’s never stopped you before. You could have at least tried to redeem yourself. I’m a wreck and you seem to be just fine. I’m on set now and had to take a break. Are you feeling anything like I am? If you are why didn’t you call?”

  He sighed. “Of course I’m a wreck. I took the past couple weeks off because of it. Once again I didn’t call because you told me not to.”

  “Okay damn, I see that you’re going to keep throwing that in my face. We are engaged Maurice. It really boils down to the fact that you seem to have no intentions of really marrying me.”

  “I love you woman and I miss you okay. I’ll drive down there in a few hours and we will set a date. Alright?”

  He seemed to be trying to make things okay between us, so I folded against my will. “Are you taking care of yourself?” I asked with sincere concern.

  “Yes. I haven’t been using Seandra. I admit that I had a few drinks, but I’ve slowed down on the coke.” He chuckled. “Well, I may have had more than a few.”

  “I love you too Maurice. I will see you later tonight.”

  “For sure.”

  I smiled and hung up the phone. I honestly believed that our relationship could work. If I nurtured him he wouldn’t need drugs, alcohol, or women. I’d show him that all he needed was my love.

  Chapter 11

  Seantay

  “Damn, if Raheem calls me one more damn time,” I hissed slamming my phone on the table.

  Reba and I were at Kuruma Zushi in Midtown NYC, because we were both craving sushi. We’d been pampered for hours at Mandarin Oriental. It was by far the best spa in New York City, and it was well worth the thousand dollars for the eighty minute massage. Now we were starving.

  “Talk to him Seantay. At least he told you about her. She could be just trying to keep you and Raheem apart. Women are shady sweety. Especially those exes and baby’s mamas.”

  Rolling my eyes I said, “Well, I don’t need the drama. That’s the reason I do not deal with relationships. They are too much work and take too much dedication for me. The only thing that I put work and dedication into is myself.” I laughed as my cell rang again. The caller ID displayed Raheem’s number. I answered despite my comments.

  “Look Raheem, I will call you when I get back to Florida. I am busy right now,” I said.

  After we hung up I confided in my best friend. I couldn’t hide anything from her.

  “I can’t deny the fact that I’m very into Raheem. I try to deny what I feel, but I can’t anymore. What we have between us is deeper than a physical attraction. I actually enjoy being with him. This pregnant ex bullshit makes me wish I could just stop caring about him.”

  Reba took a sip of her white zinfandel and rolled her eyes. “You can’t turn your feelings off sweetheart. You’re just going to have to deal with how you feel and admit that you’re falling for him.”

  “I am not falling for him Reba. It’s not that deep. I am thinking that I need to just leave Raheem alone and see what’s up with Dean. Besides, we are in New York.” We toasted our wine glasses.

  Grinning at me Reba said, “You know what. Let’s just enjoy ourselves and forget all of the drama back home.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” I said draining my glass.

  * * *

  A few days later our plane safely landed in Miami. I couldn’t believe how happy I was to be at home. New York was just too damn cold for me. I’d come back with a lot more than I’d left with due to my shopping addiction. Our driver Edwin picked us up right on time. I couldn’t wait to have some good old southern cuisine, so we stopped at Pappadeux for lunch before dropping Reba off.

  “I will call you as soon as I unpack,” I said once we’d pulled up to Reba’s apartment complex.

  Reba laughed. “Well, I guess I will talk to you next week with all that shit you bought.”

  She suddenly became serious. “You never called Dean.”

  “I know. I was just too busy,” I said making excuses.

  “Okay, cool. Talk to you later,” Reba said before walking toward her apartment.

  Edwin drove off and I relaxed. The silence forced me to turn on some music. Edwin was always quiet. Once we made it to the estate I ran up to my room to relax. Kicking off my shoes I pressed play on my answering machine.

  “You have five messages,” the recording stated in its monotone voice.

  Two of the messages were from Reco. I though he was over it. I decided to just delete his messages without listening to them. Raheem had left two and the last one was from Dean.

  “Hi Seantay. It’s Dean. I was calling because I gave you my card, but you never called. As a matter of fact I found my card on the ground in the parking lot. I figured you’d dropped it by mistake. I mean, you wouldn’t have dropped it on purpose. I hope,” he chuckled. “Look, I want to see you again. Call me. Please. Yes, I am literally begging. The number is…”

  I stopped the message because I had his number. He intrigued me, but the situation with Raheem had put a bad taste in my mouth. I wondered how he’d gotten my number. Well, he’d just have to wait.

  * * *

  A couple days later I decided to go ahead and call Dean. I’d told Raheem the day before that it was best that we just stopped seeing one another. He took it in stride, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I tried to convince myself that it was better that way, but it was hard. Dean would be a good distraction. Besides, I didn’t have time for Raheem and his baby mama drama anyway.

  Dean seemed happy to finally hear from me. “Oh, I thought you’d forgotten about me,” he said.

  “No. I’ve just been pretty busy.”

  “Okay. I can believe that ma. I’ve been busy myself, but I made the time to call you,” he pointed out.

  “Yeah. That must’ve been important to you.”

  “It’s important that I keep in touch with you. I am feeling you Seantay, and I think you’re feeling me too. You’re just playing hard.”

  He was cocky, but cute. “So, how did you get my number?”

  “I’m not revealing my sources. Have you considered what we talked about at the shoot?” He asked.

  I smiled. “Yes, but I don’t know if I want to give you my designs.

  “You won’t be giving them to me.”

  “True, but they’ll have your name on them and not mine. Shit, I’m trying to get some shine too.”

  He understood my point. “Okay ma. I hear you. I will let you keep the sketches you’ve already done, although I really like them. You can de
sign for me and then establish yourself. After that you can start your own line and design the sketches that you have now.”

  “I’ll think about it.” I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. He’d say anything to see me again.

  “I can still smell your perfume. It was so soft and feminine, yet it had my nose open. Did you think about what else we talked about?” He asked changing the subject quickly.

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Hello? Are you still there?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking. I have to make a few runs. I need some shoes to wear with this beautiful yellow, cabaret style dress that I just bought. I want to wear it tonight when you take me out. Oh, and I know you’re here because I see that you’ve called me from your room at my father’s luxury Miami Beach hotel.”

  “You’re something else baby girl,” he said impressed by how straight forward I was.

  “I know. I will call you later.”

  “Oh, and from now on I am designing all of your dresses.”

  * * *

  Seandra

  “Maurice, what time does our plane leave?” I asked still getting dressed.

  “We have less than an hour to get to the airport. So hurry up!” He yelled from the restroom.

  Maurice had been invited to the awards ceremony for the Young Black Entrepreneurs.There would be a fundraising dinner after the awards ceremony and plenty of parties to attend later that night. This year everything would be held in New Orleans. Usually Renell attended, but Seantay had informed me that she wouldn’t be attending this year. Great. We were still not talking to one another. It was no denying our sibling rivalry. We were close as children, but once we’d hit adolescence it was over.

  “C’mon Seandra! Damnit, you’re the slowest woman in the world!” He yelled from the living room.

  “Shut up, you were just in the restroom,” I snapped at him and grabbed a pair of Chloe sunglasses. After leaving my bedroom I realized that I had to use the restroom myself. I ran into the hall bathroom despite Maurice’s protests.

  “Ahh, we’re going to miss our flight!” He yelled in annoyance.

  Sashaying to the toilet, I raised my skirt and sat down gently. That’s when I saw the syringe. It was right there on the sink plain as day. He didn’t try to conceal it. I wiped quickly and washed my hands. After I’d dried them I picked up the syringe with a paper towel and exited the restroom.

  “Hurry up baby!”

  “I’m coming!” I yelled making my way into the living room. “What the hell is this? Coke isn’t strong enough for you anymore?”

  Dropping his eyes to the floor, he looked ashamed because I’d caught his ass.

  “So now you’re a damn dope fiend?” I asked.

  “No baby, no. I…I…I…damn,” he stuttered nervously.

  I couldn’t even look at him. He walked toward me. “No Maurice. Stay over there.” He disgusted me. “Go on to New Orleans. I’m not going.”

  He continued to walk toward me and I backed up.

  “Baby listen to me,” he pleaded. “Let me explain.”

  “What the fuck is there for you to explain Maurice? There was a syringe in my restroom. The evidence is right here. You used the restroom right before I did!” I held the syringe up for him to see. “You can’t deny it.”

  He grabbed me and tried to embrace me. “Seandra, it’s my medicine.”

  “You’re sick!” I spat angrily.

  “Yes, I am sick Seandra. Shit, but not mentally baby. I’m diabetic,” he explained.

  “You’re diabetic?” I asked. “You never once told me that. After all this time we’ve been together and you’re now telling me this?”

  “I didn’t want to tell you because you would be way bossier than you already are. I don’t need my woman telling me what I can and cannot eat, or how much liquor I can drink and…”

  “How much coke you can snort!” I interjected. “How could you keep this from me? You’re so damn selfish Maurice. You could’ve gone into a diabetic coma and I would’ve been absolutely oblivious to your condition. How have you managed to hide this from me for so long? I have never seen you with a needle or bottle of insulin. You’re really good at keeping secrets, but they always come to the light somehow. Eventually you’ll leave some kind of evidence just sitting around.”

  “I’d always wrap up the needles in something before I threw them in the trash. I keep my insulin and needles in a small refrigerator at my home. When I am here I just hide the insulin in the fridge and the needles in my shaving bag.”

  I shook my head. I was heated, but not enough to pass up a trip to New Orleans. We would continue our beef later. I was just glad he wasn’t shooting up. “Let’s go stupid.” I led the way and he followed.

  * * *

  Renell

  “I am so tired,” Ricky yawned and stretched out on the huge king sized bed in our lovely hotel suite. Our plane had just landed in New Orleans and we were both ready to unwind before getting our party on. I’d already decided that we would visit my grandparents before we left.

  Crawling onto the bed beside Ricky, I sighed staring into his beautiful eyes. “You’re so fine.” I smiled and cuddled closer to him.

  “Mmm, and you’re gorgeous,” he said burying his face in my hair. He loved the smell of the Aveda shampoo my stylist used.

  I was glad that he’d convinced me to come to New Orleans with him. I knew that I’d made the right choice because the city was so full of life with all of the good food and music it offered. We’d both been nominated for awards at the YBE Awards Ceremony and were excited.

  “So, what’s on the agenda?” I asked.

  “You,” he whispered planting soft kisses on my neck.

  “Me?” I giggled.

  He looked up at me. “Uh huh. This is all about you.” He kissed the tip of my nose.

  “What are you up to?” I asked seeing a sly twinkle in his eyes.

  “Nothing. Just wondering what our children will look like. If our daughter would have your eyes and smile.”

  I blushed visibly feeling the burning sensation in my cheeks. “Aww, Ricky.” I kissed his soft lips and caught a whiff of his Higher by Christian Diorcologne. He smelled so delicious.

  “First thing first though baby. Your man needs a nap. Are you lying down with me?”

  “Yes, but I am going to jump in the shower first,” I said fishing through my suitcase for my necessities.

  He yawned. “Okay, but I apologize if I fall asleep before you get out.”

  “It’s okay baby. You’re tired. I’ll just snuggle up with you when I’m finished,” I said kissing his cheek. His eyes were closed and I could hear the sound of him snoring lightly as I made my way to the bathroom. Before I could open the door I heard him faintly call my name.

  “Yes baby?”

  “Did I tell you that I love you today?” He asked.

  I smiled. “Yes baby and I love you too.” My guard was down and sharing those words with him had become my weakness. I went into the bathroom and turned on the water. The double showerhead spewed out an inviting stream. As I undressed I thought about the man who was waiting for me to climb in bed beside him. I was blessed to have found him, or maybe he’d found me. Wondering how I’d gotten back to a place I’d promised myself I would never be again, I stepped into the inviting shower. No matter what, there was no turning back now. As hard as I’d tried to fight it I knew that I was in love and it felt right this time.

  * * *

  Seantay

  Dean took me out for dinner and cocktails at A Fish Called Avalon Seafood Grille in Miami Beach. The sautéed Key West Yellowtail Snapper with grilled asparagus and tropical fruit salsa was to die for. I literally savored each bite and had no room left for desert. After dinner we jumped in Dean’s black Ferrari 458 Spider with suicide doors and headed to SoBe Live Night Club. SoBe was one of the hottest hip-hop spots in Miami Beach. The line was long of course, but we passed by the line as paparazzi camer
as flashed. I was proud to be on Dean’s arm and I was sure he was just as proud to be flaunting me. I pushed Raheem out of my mind as we made our way to the VIP entrance. I couldn’t be seen with men like him and Reco. I had to get that thug love bullshit out of my system.

  Besides, Dean was rugged and rich. I could have the best of both worlds with him. He wasn’t stuffy like the guys I grew up with, but he had just as much money. His drive and ambition were sexy as hell too. He was just swaged out to the max and I loved it.

  “Damn baby. I know I have told you how good you look a million times tonight, but I have to tell you again just how scrumptious you look in that dress,” he whispered in my ear.

  I just smiled and enjoyed the way his soft lips brushed against my ear. Dean was turning me on by doing the slightest of things. “Thank you,” I mouthed not trying to yell over the loud music.

  We had a seat on one of the plush sofas in the luxurious VIP section of the club. Dean had already gotten a bottle of Nuvo and Moet from the bar. He mixed the two at my request and gave me a glass. “Cheers to you sexy,” he said raising his glass for a toast.

  “You’re so damn cute,” I said touching his glass with mine.

  “Thanks, but monkeys and puppies are cute,” he said taking a sip of his drink.

  I laughed almost spitting my drink out. “Wow,” I said getting my composure. “I am not trying to put you in the same category as monkeys and puppies. Sorry. I meant to say you’re so damn sexy.”

  “That’s more like it,” he said pretending to be relieved. “I was kind of worried there. Cute means I will get stuck in friend mode.”

  “Well, who knows what could happen in the future,” I said before taking another sip of the intoxicating concoction.

  “I think I am starting to feel the effects of the oysters I ate,” Dean said gazing lustfully into my eyes.

  “I heard that they are an aphrodisiac. How are you feeling right now?” I asked curiously as I sat my glass down on the miniature table.