Sentenced

by L. L. Collins

  “Julia? Johnny is here to see you.” She paused. “Of course. No problem.” She hung up the phone and turned to me. “Go on back. Do you want me to take you to her office?”

  I looked around the office. It had to be no more than a thousand square feet total. “Uh, no that’s okay. I’ll find it. Thank you.”

  I opened the door and walked down a small hallway, stopping at the door that said Julia McIntyre, Interior Designer. I was so proud of her. Even though I knew she was a world-class architect (and still worked with Carter on certain projects), I was glad she’d gone beyond that and decided to live her dream. If only I could figure out what mine was, maybe I could do the same.

  Her office door flew open before I could even knock, and she threw herself into my arms. “Johnny! What a surprise! I’m so glad you came by!” I hugged her tight, the physical closeness of her still warming me from the inside out, just like it had her entire life. That girl just knew how to make me feel loved without even trying.

  “I brought lunch,” I said, holding up a bag. “Is Carter here?”

  “Yeah, he’s in the conference room with some clients. He’ll be out soon, though. So, did you meet Meg?”

  “Meg?”

  Julia grinned, taking the bag from me and putting it on her desk. It was then that I noticed Calia sleeping in what looked like a small crib next to Julia’s desk. I walked over to her, running my fingers along her smooth cheek. She didn’t even move.

  “The receptionist.”

  “The twelve-year old out there? Yeah, I saw her. So?”

  Julia laughed. “She’s twenty.”

  “Well, she looks much younger. You aren’t trying to set me up, are you?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. She’s a really sweet girl.”

  “Jules.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “I’m too old to be seeing twenty-year olds, don’t you think?”

  She shrugged again. “She’s mature.”

  I laughed loudly, making Calia jump. I covered my mouth and she settled. “I’m not dating, Jules.”

  “So you’re just sleeping around.”

  I coughed. Carter must’ve told her about seeing Geena. Not that I cared about what I was doing, but it wasn’t something you wanted to talk to your little sister about, either. “Jules . . .”

  She held up her hands. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I just want you to be careful, Johnny. I love you, you know.”

  “I’m always careful, pipsqueak. And I love you, too.”

  Our conversation halted as we heard Carter coming down the hallway with two other guys in tow. He said goodbye and then walked back to Julia’s office grinning.

  “Did you get it?” Julia’s eyes sparkled. I loved seeing her so happy.

  “Of course,” Carter said, picking her up and spinning her around. Setting her down, he kissed her softly before turning to me. “Hey, Johnny.”

  I ignored the twist in my gut at the love so evident on their faces. “Hey, Carter. I brought lunch.”

  Carter eyed me for a moment and then smiled. “Great. I’m starving. Let’s go into the other room so we don’t wake the princess.”

  Julia left the door open as we walked down two doors to the conference room. I set out the sandwiches, potato chips, and drinks I’d bought at their favorite deli.

  “How’s the new bar? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.” I heard her talking to me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of the small spots on her upper arms from my fingers. When I didn’t answer, she looked down. “I’m fine, Johnny.”

  I forced my eyes away from her and down to my sandwich, the anger so immediate I felt my blood pressure rising quickly. We ate in silence for a few minutes while I forced myself to calm down.

  “Please don’t stay with your friend from the bar,” Julia said finally. “I want you at our house, Johnny.”

  I lifted my eyes and met Carter’s. “We both want you there.”

  “I won’t come into your room anymore,” Julia offered.

  “That’s the thing,” I said. “You shouldn’t have to be afraid in your own house.”

  “I’m not afraid,” Julia defended. “I just want you to feel comfortable.”

  I blew out a breath. I didn’t want to stay with Cal anyway. I mean, he was a nice guy, but I was a loner. I liked my own space. “Okay.”

  Julia grinned. “Yeah!”

  Carter smiled at me. “You’re our family, Johnny. We want to help you. There’s one condition I want to put out there.”

  A condition? I narrowed my eyes on my brother-in-law. I loved him like he was my own brother, but if he was going to start telling me what I had to do, we were going to have issues.

  Carter held up his hands in mock surrender at the look on my face. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

  “Let me be the judge of that.”

  “I made you an appointment to see Dr. Mia, Carter’s mom’s friend.” Julia broke the news, crossing her arms in front of her chest in the determined stance she’d had since she was a little toddler. Julia always knew right where to push to make me do what she wanted, no matter the age.

  “Julia.”

  “Johnny.” Carter’s voice was firm, and I recognized this for what it was. He wasn’t angry with me for hurting his wife, my sister, but I was going to do something about it or they were going to have a problem. I could respect that about him. He was doing what any respectable husband would do, not that I would have a damn clue about that.

  “It’s one appointment,” Julia said. “She’s a very nice lady. You don’t have to spill your entire life in one session, Johnny. Just go, and see how it makes you feel. If you don’t like her or if you don’t mesh well, you don’t go back. We both want to see you move on and be happy. Please.”

  I sighed, pushing my sandwich away from me. I’d never in my life gone to a shrink and sure as hell didn’t want to start now. I pictured a gray haired lady studying me and trying to figure out what made me tick. But I was good at putting on a front. I could go and just say what she wanted me to say to appease them. There was no way I was going to sit on a couch, spilling my guts to some strange woman to make things better. There wasn’t any way to make things better, no matter how much I ‘talked about it.’

  “When is it.” It wasn’t a question, because I shot the words out of my mouth like bullets. I was being an asshole, and neither of them deserved it.

  Carter and Julia exchanged a look. “Tomorrow,” Carter answered. “At noon. I figured even if you were helping at the bar, you wouldn’t have to be there that early.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” Julia’s voice was so hopeful it immediately squashed my attitude. This was my baby sister, the only one that truly looked out for my best interests.

  I forced a smile across my lips. “Okay, pipsqueak.” She narrowed her eyes at the nickname but didn’t complain.

  “Thank you,” she said, picking up her sandwich and resuming eating. Carter smiled at me, nodding his approval. All I knew was, this was the only time they were getting me to do this.

  “Thank you so much for coming in to help me.” Cal and I were sitting in his office with the door open so we could see out to the bar. All I could think of while sitting next to him was doing Geena against every surface I could get her on. Damn, I missed her already. I had zero emotional connection to her; I just wanted what she gave me.

  I looked out to the bar, where a young guy with hair in a bun was wiping down the bar. I hadn’t seen him before.

  “That’s Yoda,” Cal said. Yoda. My body tensed, and I forced myself to breathe out, the panic threatening to bubble to the surface.

  “His name is Yoda?” My voice didn’t sound right, even to my ears.

  Cal laughed. “No. I call him Yoda. His name is Seth.”

  “Oh.” I shook the memories that threatened to take me under back into their box and sat on the lid. “Okay, let’s get started. So when I did this for the bar where I worked in Denver . . .”

/>   A few hours later, I had the website all built and had included photos of their prior talent. There was an upload feature for demos. Cal was ready to go.

  “Thank you, bro. This is fantastic. You’re really talented at this.”

  I didn’t tell him why I was good at computers, but he was right. I’d been trained to do many things that weren’t exactly legal, even if I didn’t do that anymore. Website creation was fun, and I was good at it, so it wasn’t any big deal.

  “I’ll manage it for you while I’m here if you want me to. I can schedule the talent and run it by you first.”

  Cal shook his head. “Take it. I’d be glad to have one less thing on my plate. You know the business and have done this before. I don’t need to look over your shoulder. You’re hired. I’ll pay you a weekly salary to manage the band calendar and the website. Does that sound good? I’ll take your bartending days down to two so you can still have time to spend with your family.”

  “Thank you, Cal. I appreciate it. I love doing this stuff.”

  “Oh, before I forget.” Cal tapped a calendar on the wall. “We have a new band coming in this weekend. They’re local and have quite a following already. A small label has signed them and their music is now on iTunes. It should bring in quite a bit of business. They’re playing Thursday through Saturday night.”

  My eyes followed Cal’s finger to the promotional poster that was hanging on the wall. It featured The Outrigger’s logo, their band logo, and the dates they were playing. “Jaded Regret?” I liked them already.

  Cal nodded. “Yep. The lead singer is hot as hell, too. She plays guitar and can sing like nobody’s business. I saw them live at an outdoor showcase a few months back. They’re extremely talented, but she puts the icing on the cake if you catch my drift. Definitely not hard on the ears or the eyes to watch them. I’d let her. . . . never mind.”

  Now I really wanted to see this band. “Sounds like we need more staff to work this weekend.”

  “Already on it.” Cal stood up. “I’m heading out to help Yoda prepare for the rush. Feel free to use my computer to do whatever you need to do. I can get another desk in here if you want your own space.”

  “Nah. If you’re cool with me using your computer, that’s all I need.”

  He nodded. “Sounds good. You moving in with me?”

  “No, but thanks for the offer. My sister begged me to stay. She was upset I’d even think about not being with her since that’s why I came here.”

  “She sounds like a good one.”

  “She’s the best. And married, so don’t get any ideas.”

  Cal laughed, walking out and leaving me alone in the office.

  I tapped the search bar with the mouse, typing in the words ‘Jaded Regret.’ I wondered about the name of the band. Who named it? What was the story behind them? Was she really jaded? What did she regret? I could identify with that, for sure. As the page loaded, I looked out to the bar. It was starting to fill up, the dinner rush almost at its peak. I was glad I wasn’t working tonight because I was exhausted.

  I leaned back in the chair as the results came up. The band’s website popped up first, so I clicked on it, impressed as images and editorial reviews of their performances scrolled across the screen. Someone was good with website design.

  An up close picture of the only female in the band, the lead singer according to Cal, popped up, and I paused the slideshow. Holy shit. He’d been right. She was fucking beautiful. Her long dark hair fell in waves past her shoulders, curling just at the ends. Her skin was flawless, a small diamond sparkling in her nose. Her mouth wasn’t smiling, her lips almost pouting as she looked over her shoulder at someone else in the band. Oh, the things I could do to that mouth.

  She was wearing a leather jacket with a white shirt underneath that didn’t cover her flat, toned stomach and accentuated her full breasts. Another piercing dangled from her belly button. I felt a familiar stirring in my libido. She wore low-slung jeans, the bare skin showing that she was extremely fit but still curvy like a woman should be. She had a tattoo I couldn’t make out on her lower stomach, just barely peeking out of her jeans. I was getting hard.

  I forced myself to allow the slideshow to keep playing. The three other members of the band were guys, just as Cal had said. I wondered how many of them wanted to fuck her. Or had fucked her. I wondered if she was married, or attached. Not that I cared. I just wanted a romp in the sheets, or two or three, with her. Female lead singers were my favorite, especially ones that looked like her.

  I had to find their music. I opened up iTunes on my phone and typed in the name. An entire album came up, her sexy face filling most of the cover. She still wasn’t smiling, her face serious as she looked directly into the camera, the guys behind her. Large hazel eyes, while beautiful, looked closed off and wary. I could identify with that. I wanted to know her name.

  I purchased the album, telling myself it was ‘research’ and then went back to the computer to their website. I went to the ‘about’ section, hoping it told their names.

  Lead singer and lead guitarist Bexley “Bex” Bryant and her three band mates Beau Anderson (drums), Tanner Hart (bass), and Ryver Chavez (second guitar) are from the Gulf Coast of Florida. The band has been playing together for the last ten years and has made a name for themselves in the indie rock community. They signed their first record deal with an indie-specialized record label, Chaotic Records out of New York, earlier this year. They’re getting a lot of buzz and are scheduling appearances at some of their favorite places in Florida before going out on tour to open for Halestorm later this year. Check the calendar to see if they are coming to a place near you!

  Holy shit. They were going to open for Halestorm. I loved them. Bex was her name. Even that was hot. I clicked on the places that they were going to visit in Florida, seeing The Outrigger named for this weekend. No wonder this place was going to be packed.

  I couldn’t wait to meet her—er, them.

  Johnny

  “Jonathan Gibbons?” I looked up, cringing inwardly at the name. I never, ever went by that. Johnny was it.

  “Yes,” I said, standing. “Johnny, please.”

  “Johnny. Right this way, I’ll take you in to Dr. Mia.”

  I hated that I was here. I didn’t want to be. Every second since I’d left Julia’s house and made it here, filled out the paperwork and waited my turn, I’d wanted to run. The only thing that kept me here was the promise I made to Julia. So here I was, following this young chick down a quiet hallway to a shrink’s office for the first time in my life.

  “Go on in, the doctor is waiting for you.” She nodded at a partially open door and continued walking.

  I took a deep breath, willing my panic not to bubble to the surface. Before I lost my nerve, I pushed the door open the rest of the way so I could enter. The second my eyes met Dr. Mia’s, I stopped right in my tracks.

  Carter and Julia might have neglected to tell me that she was fucking smoking hot. I wanted to turn around and leave so I could drop my phone number at the front desk for Dr. Mia to give me a private session somewhere else.

  She was wearing a low cut blouse and a tight pencil skirt. It was perfectly professional, with just enough sexiness to make me want to drop to my knees and lick her until she came. She had a kick ass body, fit and womanly. Her blonde hair was piled on top of her head and fastened with a clip, and she wore glasses. The whole package had me needing to shift away from her, so she didn’t notice I was getting aroused.

  “Johnny?” Oh, thank fuck she didn’t call me Jonathan. She held out her hand, a small smile showing me that she had straight white teeth.

  “Yes.” I held out my hand, straightening my back and forcing myself to get my shit together. She was a fucking therapist, not a sex toy. But damn that was too bad. I wonder if I could convince her to use this hour to do something else. I’d make it worth her while that was for damn sure.

  “Dr. Mia,” she said, dropping her hand from mine. She didn�
��t seem affected by me, and that sucked. I was used to whatever woman I wanted falling at my feet. “Please, have a seat.”

  I sat on a plush chair across from her, my eyes immediately going to her fit legs as she sat and crossed them in front of me. If I looked close enough, I could almost look up her skirt. She cleared her throat, grabbing my attention back to her face.

  “Let’s get started. Why don’t you tell me a little about you?”

  I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest. Here we go. No matter how much I wanted to use that mouth for other things (like her on her knees in front of me), she wanted me to talk. I didn’t do that. I thought of Julia and sighed.

  “I was in prison for two years,” I started. She knew that already, because it was the only real piece of information I’d put on my paperwork.

  She smiled, looking down at her sheet and then back to me. “I saw that. For what?”

  I should’ve known she was going to ask that. “It’s a long story.”

  She looked at the clock next to me. “Well, that’s okay. We have 55 minutes.”

  Never mind, I didn’t want to talk about that. “My parents kicked me out when I was eighteen.”

  If she minded that I switched topics, she didn’t let it show. She wrote something on her paper, and I fought the urge not to snatch it out of her hand to see what she was writing about me.

  “Why are you here today, Johnny?”

  “I promised my sister I would come.”

  “Oh, yes. Your sister is Julia, right? Carter’s wife?”

  “Yes. She’s the only person in this world I do anything for.”

  She furrowed her brow. “Why is that?”

  “Because no one has ever been there for me, except her.”

  “So you have no intention of opening up to me.” Damn, she was good.

  I shrugged. “I don’t see the point of it, to be honest. I’ve had a shitty life, Dr. Mia. Nothing I tell you can change that, so I just don’t see the reason to rehash everything. I’d rather just forget.”