Use Somebody

by Riley Jean

  It looked like we were going to ignore the elephant in the room. The last time Lexi saw me, I was screaming about what a horrible bitch she was. And the last time I saw her, she was screwing Ricky Storm. Whether or not that made us even, those issues were deep, dirty and unresolved. But I guess we were no strangers to shallow friendship.

  She took a swig and then passed it to Dirk, who took a swig and then passed it to me, and I took a swig and passed it to Phoenix, and so on. The bottle had been rotating between the four of us for the last twenty minutes as we relaxed in the Jacuzzi in Dirk’s backyard like some screwed up time warp.

  They weren’t kidding about the reunion. In high school, we would raid the liquor cabinet and do this very thing whenever Dirk’s dad and stepmom went out of town. Yep. This Jacuzzi brought flashbacks for sure. The only things missing were Gwen and Nathan, and me passing on the alcohol. I wasn’t opting out tonight.

  Between the drinks and the heat, we all had a pretty good buzz going. Surprisingly it wasn’t as awkward as it should’ve been, or maybe that was just because I didn’t give a tiny rat’s ass about much of anything at the moment. Zoning out and mindless chatter were exactly what I needed right now.

  “Has our Little Scarlett Rossi been inked?” Dirk inquired.

  “I have!” I twisted slightly to give him a better view of the captivating rose with distinct tiger stripes along my shoulder blade. I still loved the image and was proud to wear it, negating the fact that I wasn’t currently living up to what it stood for.

  “Well aren’t you full of surprises?” Dirk said. “I’ll bet this was done by Ricky Storm himself.”

  At the mention of his name, Lexi perked up towards our conversation wearing a smug smile.

  I bit my lip and nodded in confirmation. “He designed this special.”

  “It’s stunning on you.”

  “Have you seen mine?” Lexi piped up and stood so we could see the pink butterfly above the water, along with her ample ass.

  Dirk chuckled. “Everyone’s seen yours, Lex.”

  Phoenix tugged her into his lap and flirted, “Can I have another look?”

  The next time Dirk passed the bottle to me, he didn’t release it. “So, you and Storm…?” he probed as we both held on.

  I giggled and shook my head. They were so clueless! The only image I could conjure up of Ricky was the coldness in his eyes right before he attacked the wall mere inches from my face. And Dirk wanted to know our relationship status? My life was in shambles and rumors about me and Ricky Storm were the least of my problems tonight.

  But I was desperate for distraction, so I let the giggler take full reign, and she played along seamlessly.

  “He kissed me once, you know.”

  “Just kissed you, huh?” Dirk grinned.

  “Uh-huh. And he didn’t even mean to.”

  “You’re saying it was an accident?”

  He released the bottle then and watched as I tipped it back and took a large gulp. The saccharine sweetness burned down my throat. I licked the excess drops from my lips. “It’s complicated.”

  “Isn’t it always?” his eyes gleamed with tease.

  Ha! Says the boy who’s left nothing but a trail of broken hearts in his wake.

  But I lifted the bottle to salute him anyway. Because he was right—it was always complicated. “Touché.”

  “You and your fancy words,” he tsked, tipping the bottle higher. “Why don’t you drink some more of that stuff.”

  I giggled. “Trying to get me drunk?”

  He turned fully in my direction, that infamous wolfish grin in place. “Still a little heartbreaker, aren’t you?” he said. Then he reached out to tug affectionately on a black ringlet that had escaped my high pony tail. “I’m digging the black, Scarlett,” he whispered. “And the ink? Smoking. Hot.”

  My head tilted at his compliment. The grin alone was enough to give me pause. I knew that grin; it was as familiar to me as Lexi’s constant need for attention. Dirk’s grin had worked its way through each and every cheerleader by graduation. It was—some might argue—just as potent as Ricky Storm’s smirk, but without all the mystery and danger. Dirk had been one of my best friends for all my teenage years. So, like I said, I was more than familiar with that grin.

  That grin, however, had never been aimed at me.

  Could he be…? No. No way.

  “Who, me?” I asked, batting my eyes innocently to test him.

  Somehow I resisted the urge to flinch when he scooted a few inches closer and eyed me boldly. “Mine’s breaking right now,” he groaned. The water and steam didn’t offer nearly enough coverage from his wandering gaze. “Won’t I ever get a chance with the beautiful Scarlett?”

  Although I found this whole exchange ridiculous, I wouldn’t be the one to call chicken. Instead I upped the ante, the alcohol in my system making me brave. It was just a little harmless flirting, after all.

  “And what would you do with that chance?”

  With that wolfish grin in place and slightly slurred overconfidence, he answered, “I would give you the best kiss of your entire life.” He lowered his voice. “And I would do it on purpose.”

  I giggled, much to his delight, though it wasn’t how it appeared. Even with my buzz, I had enough wherewithal to see how dumb that sounded. Did girls really fall for this kind of stuff? Did I used to fall for this kind of stuff?

  That settled it. Dirk Kennedy… I’d dated his best friend, for goodness sake. We shared a thousand memories of growing up together. We’d been on double dates and sat in this very Jacuzzi dozens of times, making out with different people.

  I remembered the time all six of us piled in here after watching The Ring, and the guys kept trying to scare the girls by pulling us under water. I remembered Phoenix breaking his arm playing tackle football at Dirk’s fifteenth birthday party. I remembered summers and music and falling in love…

  But I blocked out the memories of lost loves and old friendships and replaced them with a coquettish smile.

  He was a ladies’ man through and through. And I knew exactly what he wanted.

  One hundred percent bona fide uncomplicated.

  “That’s quite a statement,” I challenged, “I’m not sure you can deliver.”

  “Oh I can deliver.” Before I had a chance to react, his hands found my waist underwater. He closed his eyes, leaned in, and kissed me.

  And then…

  Dirk Kennedy was kissing me.

  Okay… I really didn’t think this through. But could I push him away now, like some innocent victim? Nobody forced me to call his bluff. It was just a kiss, anyway. If I made a big deal about it now, it would only make things weird. I just had to suck it up. Literally.

  So now, here we were… sitting in his Jacuzzi… kissing.

  My eyes flew open in shock when I felt his tongue in my mouth. Definitely wasn’t drunk enough for this. I tried to let instinct take over and kiss him back, but my whole body felt rigid. I had done this before—kissed boys who meant nothing—but now, even with a little help from alcohol, I didn’t want any of it.

  Why couldn’t I slip away like I always did? Dirk was good-looking and athletic, and he wasn’t asking for emotions or answers or commitment or anything else I wasn’t able to give. So why couldn’t I get lost in a kiss that didn’t mean anything other than feeling good for a moment?

  This was why I came here, wasn’t it? To escape? I had to try.

  I closed my eyes and focused on his lips, slow and sensual on mine. It was gentler than I would’ve expected, not sloppy or grabby like drunk boys sometimes were. I supposed he had done this plenty of times, so he was no stranger to seducing girls with a single kiss. He really knew what he was doing—the perfect speed, pressure, and mix of tongue, teeth and lips. It was… fine.

  Okay. No biggie. It wasn’t like he was a terrible kisser.

  Then, my mind went blank. And not in a good way, like I had been swept away by passion. Everything slowed down. Other
senses picked up. I became hyperaware of everything around me: the smell of chlorine, the taste of alcohol. The hum of the jets bubbling under the water. Time ticking slowly away. The oppressive silence of the night. The muscles that had grown stiff in my back and neck, begging for reprieve. The effort it took to move my mouth against his…

  The feeling that I wanted to be anywhere else but here…

  It hit me like a sack of books. This wasn’t an escape. Kissing Dirk didn’t fix anything at all. It was just a mistake.

  I tried to give him a closed mouth peck to signal that I was done. It took a few tries before he caught on.

  Finally, Dirk pulled away, dazed and grinning. “How was that?” he slurred. “The best, right?”

  I smiled, though it didn’t touch my eyes. “Of my entire life.”

  He was definitely too drunk to detect my lie.

  * * *

  [Journal – Throwback to that summer]

  Rebounds offer a temporary high

  Kiss them hello and kiss them goodbye

  You kiss to forget about the one that you care

  You need someone to kiss since he’s no longer there

  You kiss for revenge, ‘cause that’s what he deserves

  Though who knows what logic or purpose that serves

  You’re kissing someone who means nothing to you

  You wrongfully pilfer that person’s kiss too

  You’re erasing his memory, you can’t stop to think

  You’re fun and you’re free with a boy and a drink

  * * *

  It wasn’t supposed to happen.

  And then it happened, but it was supposed to end. One awkward drunken kiss and that’s all. I thought we’d laugh about it and go back to normal, talking and joking like old friends do.

  But he wouldn’t stop kissing me.

  The second time he leaned in, he wasn’t gentle about it. I was now sitting up against the Jacuzzi wall, leaning as far back against the edge as possible. Dirk was practically straddling me. His hands framed my face, his lips worked against mine, ignoring their unrequited zeal.

  Trying to get his attention, I pulled back and played it off with a smile. “Um, Dirk…”

  “Oh, Scarlett…” he groaned, oblivious, and brought his mouth more fiercely down on mine.

  My eyes rolled even though he was too busy kissing me to see it. I had to try again.

  I laughed playfully to soften the rejection, and gently pushed his shoulders back. “You are drunk,” I teased. Trying to catch his eye, I reasoned, “Come on. You’re Dirk Kennedy, I’m Scarlett Rossi. You don’t really want me.”

  He looked right at my lips as he spoke, his eyes a bit unfocused. “Who wouldn’t want you? You’re so hot.” He pressed his mouth to mine again, and his tongue forced his way inside. Other than the tension in my shoulders, I was not responding to him at all. Couldn’t he detect how uncomfortable I was? Did he think his ramblings were enough to reassure me? All my life I resented being called “adorable,” but I’d prefer that to Dirk calling me “hot” any day.

  This was starting to get out of hand. I had to get through to him.

  I pushed him away once more, wiping my mouth with the back of my wrist.

  “That’s enough, Dirk. We’re getting carried away.”

  He frowned for a moment, then grabbed me firmly behind the neck and pulled me to him. “What about now,” he whispered against my skin, and then his lips closed over my earlobe.

  Oh… Good… Gracious…

  I was a sucker for this move. It had been Nathan’s weapon of choice, so it wasn’t a mystery how Dirk knew it would work. I melted into him with a soft moan as his warm tongue caressed and nibbled at my ear, tilting my head to give him better access. It felt so damn good.

  Euphoria crept in. Between the alcohol in my veins, the heated jets, and Dirk’s lips, the world had begun to fade into fuzzy numbness. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I assured myself I wouldn’t let it go any further than this. I’d stop him in a minute. Just one more glorious minute.

  Then he was kissing me again, and I didn’t stop it right away. We’d already been doing this for the past few minutes anyhow, right? No harm in one more kiss. He gave a little, I’d give a little back. But I wouldn’t let it go any further than this.

  When his pruney fingers started roaming my body, I realized how wrong his hands felt on my skin. The tingles I felt when Vance touched me were nowhere to be found, and their absence was too piercing not to notice.

  Vance…

  How had I ever convinced myself that our arrangement could be strictly physical? That part was great, of course, but I never realized until this moment how much more we really had. Chemistry. Connection. Love…?

  Kissing Dirk introduced a whole new level of “meaningless.” Now that I’d had a taste of something greater, I wasn’t willing to settle for less. That extra something special we shared made me wonder if what I felt for Vance had actually been love all along.

  My buzz began to fade, and I couldn’t force myself to pretend anymore. I pulled back, looking away from him, racking my brain for something to say to break the moment. Maybe I could distract him, say something funny. If I could just get him talking, he’d forget all about kissing me.

  “Dirk, I don’t…” My eyes flickered to the corner of the Jacuzzi that led to Phoenix and Lexi. If that’s what he wanted, he had chosen the wrong girl.

  His hand directed my chin until our noses were almost touching. It had me on edge. My eyes sought his, imploring him to see me, to sober up and stop this. But his were dark, bloodshot, and unresponsive to my plea.

  “Nathan mentioned your little shy routine was all an act,” he said, cracking a wicked grin. “He was right. It’s hella sexy.”

  He leaned in for another kiss but I blocked him. The reference of Nathan and those awful rumors was like a bucket of ice to my tolerance. I’d be damned if I let those lies continue to define me. And they sure as hell didn’t give Dirk the green light.

  “I never slept with Nathan.”

  He chuckled. “That’s not what he said.”

  “He was full of shit!”

  My patience had run out. I moved away from him, ready to flee this boiling pot of debauchery and regret.

  Before I was able to take a single step, his hands snatched up both my wrists and braced them behind me. One tug and I fell and landed in his lap, yelping in surprise. My back crashed against his muscular chest as one arm snaked across my midsection possessively. The other secured both my wrists behind me.

  His cheek rested on my right shoulder as he kissed a line down my neck. “Where do you think you’re going?” he murmured in my ear. But it didn’t feel playful at all. Vance had always made me feel safe. With Dirk, those red warning lights were flashing all over the place. Danger, Scarlett Rossi. Danger.

  I tried to yank my arms free, but he gripped me tightly, then wrapped his legs between mine and hooked my ankles, so that when he spread his thighs, mine were forced apart. I struggled in his lap, but the sick-o enjoyed that, too. He let out an amused laugh to have gotten me into this vulnerable position so easily, like it was all some big joke to him. But he had taken it too far.

  My stomach coiled as the realization hit me—I was trapped.

  I began fighting my buzz the moment he had me incapacitated. I tugged and pulled and kicked and yanked on all my limbs seeking out my freedom. I fought with all my strength, searching for a weak link against his hold, but I was no match for him.

  “Dirk… let me go,” I pleaded.

  His teeth grazed my neck, leaving little nips behind. “I don’t think you really mean that.” A seductive growl vibrated through his throat as he ground his hips into me. When his body pressed up against mine, I could feel how much this was turning him on.

  My breath hitched in fear. Our bodies were only separated by two thin strips of fabric. If things got totally out of hand, I had no way to protect myself against him. This was bad. Very, very bad.

>   “Dirk… STOP.” I said more forcefully.

  He just chuckled as if I were being coy, and shushed me, “Calm down, baby. I know what you need.”

  Calm down? Calm down? Calm was the furthest thing from what I was feeling at that moment. What I needed was to be out of his lap, like, ten minutes ago.

  Sure, we had done a little drunken flirting. And kissed. But the fact that I was fighting against him should have made it obvious that I did not want this. Either he was too wasted to even comprehend the meaning of the word stop, or he just didn’t care. Which meant I was in serious, serious trouble.

  Even kickboxing moves would do little good in this position. With our bodies underwater and pressed together, I had no leverage. My eyes searched anxiously as I tried to think of a solution to my predicament. They landed on the corner of the Jacuzzi that I had been avoiding for a while now.

  Out of options, I did something crazy.

  I asked for help.

  “Phoenix!” I tried to yell across the water, but my voice broke. He and Lexi were forehead to forehead, so busy making little waves that he didn’t even look up. I tried again, louder this time. “Phoenix!”

  His head snapped up, as if out of sleep, eyes heavy-lidded and unfocused. He found me, and smiled widely, his body not pausing its movements. “What up, Scar?”

  “I want to leave.”

  He leaned back, resting his head and elbows on the edge of the spa and closed his eyes. Had he even heard me? Had he passed out? Lexi climbed onto his lap and straddled him. Without throwing me a glance, she wrapped her arms around his neck then started bouncing.

  Ugh.

  “Please,” I added, as Dirk licked my ear from behind. This time, his tongue felt like sandpaper. A cold shiver traveled up my spine, despite the heat of the spa.

  Phoenix was totally out of it. He didn’t even open his eyes when he responded, “I can’t give you your keys. I can’t drive neither.”