Grey: New Beginnings (Spectrum Series Book 5)

by Allison White

  I abruptly turn on my heels, making her almost run into me.

  “It’s a bad symptom of a medicine my doctor has me take,” I lie, hoping she won’t notice the desperation plastered on my face.

  She tilts her head, pursing her lips. “You should really tell him or her to change it. It shouldn’t have you bleeding from your mouth. Do you know if the FDA really approved it?”

  I shrug at her last question. “I don’t know, but I’m letting him know at my appointment after I leave the program.”

  She takes this into consideration, then sighs, not looking any less concerned. “I know what you’ve been through, and I’d hate if you had to be in any more pain.”

  I wince just slightly. “Yeah…but I am fine, you know, despite the blood.” I laugh nervously and wring my hands together. She watches while biting her lip and hums. “Well, I should probably get to Garrett. I know the way, thank you.” I walk away before she can say anything, cursing myself for being so careless. I can only hope now that she won’t tell Matthew or Lily. If she does, I am screwed out of this amazing program and school. I pray so much in my head so much, I barely notice the blood pouring into my hands from how tightly I am clutching my palms.

  “Olivia, come in!” Garrett sits up in his chair.

  “Hello, Garrett.” I sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk and smile, balling my bloody hands in my lap. “You asked for me?”

  ***

  “Thank you again for driving me, Matthew!” I hug him over the center console, smiling. He really is a great friend. Garrett brought me to his office to inform me that some of my professors wanted me in for the rest of the week for tests I wouldn’t be able to take otherwise. Thankfully, he was completely okay with it, as long as I managed to juggle a few tasks he wanted done by next Tuesday. I had to leave almost immediately. But I did have time to have lunch with him, Lily, and a few other interns I’ve befriended.

  I would have called Grey to take me, but he’s training, and I didn’t want to bother him. That and I didn’t want to take the chance of him finding me coughing up blood in a napkin. Matthew already caught me. I had to promise him that I would get it checked out and had him promise me not to tell anyone else, especially Grey. He reluctantly said he wouldn’t, but only if I got myself checked out by my doctor. I felt horrible for lying to him and Delilah. Hell, even Charlotte. I hate lying to them, but it’s for the best. It’s for my future.

  I am settling in for the test when I realize I forgot to bring a pen. I didn’t even think I’d be here two and a half hours ago. Dang it! Other than this time, I am always prepared. I would have grabbed a pen before leaving for lunch with my work buddies, but I have a slight migraine and my brain is a muddled mess. I haven’t been able to think clearly recently.

  “Hey, you can borrow this,” an admittedly handsome boy to my right says. I look at the pen he’s holding and feel my heart sigh in relief.

  “Thank you so much.” I take the pen and set it on the desk, then look back at his charming smile. “You just saved my life.”

  “It’s what I do.” He shrugs with a cocky smile, and I laugh. “I’ve sat next to you for a month now, but I’ve never seen you unprepared. What’s up?” He sounds kind of worried but also very amused.

  “It’s just one of those days.” I shrug aimlessly, and he smirks.

  “Nate,” he informs, stretching out his hand.

  “Olivia,” I introduce myself, quickly admiring his deep hazel eyes and white t-shirt against his dark caramel skin. His smile is so big and appealing and accompanied by large dimples, it must have quite a few girls dropping at his feet.

  The professor takes a while to get to class, so we talk to fill in the time. He and I get to know each other a little, and I pat myself on the back for making a somewhat new friend. I didn’t have or make many friends during my first year of college because of the drama, and well, Grey. But now I am secure in my relationship and so much more, and I guess it is easier to acquaint myself with others without any stressful circumstances.

  I take the test, pretty confident in all of the questions, seeing I have studied as much as possible outside of the program. Nate also feels really good after he turns in his test. He’s invited me to the library for a study session with a few of his friends. I accept graciously. I’ve always wanted to be in a study group but never had much time last year. I invite Jaimie and Julia, and they both agree to come with.

  I am laughing at a joke he made about the professor’s enormous mustache when I my phone dings. I check the message and feel my heart drop.

  Grey: Hey, what’s up? Outside waiting for u and ur not here???

  Olivia: Sorry! Forgot to tell you, left early for a test.

  Grey: Oh. Want me to pick u up?

  My heart squeezes.

  Olivia: No. I’m going to a study group. See you at home later. Xxxx

  “Everything okay?” Nate touches my elbow to grasp my attention.

  “Um, yeah.” I ignore Grey’s text, turning off and putting my phone away. I swallow the taste of metal on my tongue and nod. “So ready to study.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Grey

  A few days passed by kind of uneventfully. Well, for me, at least. Liv, on the other hand, is so busy with her new life at her new program with her new boyfriend, Miguel. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but it’s hard not to when she spends basically all her time away from me. She hangs out with all these new intern friend nerd people, goes to study groups, and is barely around me anymore. I know, I sound like a pathetic clingy girlfriend. I don’t give a single fuck. I am entitled to feel shitty if my own girl has forgotten me.

  I have tried my best to not be so upset over it. But instead of whining about our lack of communication while she takes on the city and rocks school or whatever, I focus on training.

  The big UFC fight is just in a handful of weeks. I work crazy hard from day to night. I am so pumped to get into the glamorous ring and be legally allowed to bash a fucker’s face in. He could be the nicest person in the world, but I would kick his face until there was nothing left but my footprint. Sounds horribly graphic, but I couldn’t give a fuck.

  This has been my passion, my dream, ever since I was a little boy and got my ass beat before I whipped my ass into shape, fist-wise, mostly. I have dreamed of beating up those fuckers, you know, returning the favor. But I have no idea where they are, nor do I care. Point is, I want this desperately, and I will work as hard as I can for it. It’s already in my possession; I just get to prove how fucking amazing I am to everyone else.

  I almost get hit by Steve, a guy I befriended and often spar with, because I am so caught up in my thoughts.

  “Thinking about the lady?” he teases. I grimace. He really shouldn’t smile, with his gnarly ginger beard and gold teeth. He looks like that little Ron kid from the Harry Potter movies after making one too many bad mistakes.

  “I don’t know, are you thinking about your girl, Ronnie? Oh wait, you don’t fucking have one,” I snap, and he chuckles, raising his gloved hands. “Can we stop asking about feelings and go back to fighting?” I tap my gloves with his, and he laughs, but we resume our fight.

  I try my best to zone out Liv from my thoughts, but it’s hard when she’s all I can think about. Her beautiful smile, her contagious laugh, her burning need for everything to be perfect. The amount of times that girl has complained about me throwing my boots off instead of placing them in the shoe rack is ridiculous. But it always makes me laugh, her frown, and me pepper her with kisses until that gorgeous smile of hers lights up her face once again.

  I decide to stop fucking around and thinking about my distant girl when Steve clocks me in the jaw. Fuck! I can feel a bruise already. We fight and bruise and incite a little blood for another hour but don’t ever stop for a break. There are no breaks in the UFC ring. Only fight after fight after fight. Since I am a newbie, I’ll be facing five motherfuckers, giving spectators enough time to decide whether they like my a
ss or not. I mean my fighting, though my ass is clap worthy.

  Ugh, I’m hungry.

  “All right, I think that’s enough for today,” I say after a while, quickly noticing how badly his nose is bleeding. Meanwhile I taste blood of my own drip down from a cut on my right cheek and enter my chapped lips. I lick them and spit out the mixed saliva and blood. Fuck, I can only imagine how gross the UFC mat is. I bet it’ll be slippery as fuck, covered in blood and spit. Yuck. But, oh, the look of horror, disgust, and clean-freak desires Liv will be filled with actually make me burst into laughter. It makes me chuckle a little right now, making Steve smirk at me like the gingerbread man he is.

  “Fine, better get home to your woman before she squeezes your balls,” he teases, and I punch him in the shoulder, but he just laughs like a rusty machine gun.

  I am fucking starving, and I haven’t realized it all the time I was sparring with Steven, only because I was so focused. A little distracted by Liv, but still. My head wasn’t in my damn stomach, and now it sounds like there’s a fucking monster in there. So I swing by the diner near Liv’s job place and get myself a burger and her salad. I’m jittery as I drive up to the building and snag a spot in front of it, jittery because I am going to see my girl in her zone, where she belongs.

  She has been doing so great with her schoolwork and this job thing of hers. Through all the work and stress, I can see how much she is happy, content, and accomplished. She has wanted this ever since she was a little girl, and now her dreams are coming true. I only wish she had space for me in there…That’s why I am taking the initiative to wedge myself in her tight space. In more ways than one…

  I chuckle at my naughty thoughts. “Dirty bastard,” I praise myself as I climb onto the pavement.

  I pull out my phone.

  Grey: Ready for your bunny food w your sexy ass man?? ;)

  “Hey, man, you know you can’t—” The security man named Hank who lets people pass holds up his hands.

  “Nice to see you, Hank. How you doin’?” I pat his shoulder as I pass him.

  “Grey, you know—oh, fuck it. Next,” he sighs and waves me by before blocking a woman and beginning to hound her.

  I am riding up in the elevator, playing Candy Crush with a very nervous woman to my right, when Liv finally texts back. Finally, she can be such a granny when it comes to technology.

  Olivia: Can’t do lunch today. Sorry. C U at home. Xxxxx

  “Fuck you, kisses,” I spit angrily, ignoring the woman clutching her coat in fear. “And fuck you, lady. Ain’t no one give a fuck enough to rob your ass. Discrimination at its best.” I hurtle Spanish curse words one after another before she finally scrambles out of the elevator. A bunch of people in suits stare at me wide-eyed as I don’t stop my angered tangent. “Wanna come on?” The door closes before any of the wimps can stutter a reply. “I fucking thought so!”

  When the elevator finally stops, I storm off to Liv’s sacred office. She can’t just do this, push me away. I’m usually the one who does it, meaning there is seriously something wrong going on with her. I’m not trying to be hypocritical or mean or whatever; it’s just the truth. Liv is a fucking advocate for open communication and shit, and she doesn’t close off often. But when she does, it’s either her mother fucking with her or something worse, something much deeper. And I may not be the best when it comes to healing others, but I’ll try my damn hardest to put my pride aside and help heal my princess. She deserves it after all the bullshit I not only put her through, but the world.

  I burst through the glass doors, prepared to scream at her to help her, when I literally feel my heart drop. Murphy is sitting on Liv’s arm chair, and they are both laughing and chatting and having the best fucking time ever. Well, too fucking bad! He is too close to my princesa, and I am too pissed not to rip his fucking glasses off his face and shove them up his ass.

  “What the fuck is this bullshit?” I bark.

  Liv literally jumps and screams before looking at me. “Oh, geez. You gave me a heart attack!” she says in her little, shaky voice, clutching her chest.

  “I gave you a heart attack?” I exclaim, gesturing to the nerd too fucking close to her. “What the fuck is this shit? I bring your rabbit food and your milkshake, which I nearly downed half of—but fucking still—and you’re here flirting with McNerd?”

  “I prefer the term McGeek.” Milo chuckles but stops when I glare at him. He fiddles with his blue and gray tie, clearing his throat, cheeks flushed. Yeah, you better be scared of me beating your khaki ass.

  “What’s going on here, Liv?” I reiterate, slowly but surely losing my cool.

  “I—I—” She shrugs and tucks a hair behind her air, eyes big and guilty. “I told you not to come.”

  I close my eyes, because if I looked at these two geeks a few inches apart again, I would throw him out the window then yell in her face. “What…are you two…doing?”

  “We were just t-talking,” he stutters.

  I flash open my eyes, and he squeals, blushes like a girl, then clamps a hand over his mouth. I shift my eyes to Liv, who is now playing with my charm on her wrist.

  “What were you talking about?” I growl.

  “About his crush on Delilah, the girl you probably passed on your way here,” she explains in a quick rush.

  “You mean the tall blonde?” I raise my eyebrows, feeling a tiny bit better.

  “Yeah.” She nods, twisting her bracelet.

  “Hmmm…” I shrug, feeling a lot better. Great thing, now I don’t have to go to jail today…

  “He has no chance, not much of a conversationalist,” I say with finality.

  “Grey!” Liv blushes after me, embarrassed by me.

  I try to ignore the sting. “Just make him leave so we can have lunch.” I raise the cupholder of her drinks and our food.

  They share a scared look, and I see red again.

  “What is it?” I grit through my clenched teeth, rocking them together harshly.

  Liv’s blue eyes lock with me before she slowly stands to her feet. “We’re going to lunch.” She wags her finger between her and McNerd. “That’s why I told you not to come. Why I said I can’t do lunch today.”

  “What the fuck? No. You’re having lunch with your boyfriend.”

  “Um, no, I’m not,” she says with a little attitude, then takes a breath. “We have this thing with the other interns and Garrett. He wants to take us out to get to know us…he’s a really chill boss.” She grins when she throws up quotation marks.

  I groan and shrug my shoulders. “Tell him to fuck off, then.” I really don’t see the problem here.

  “I can’t do that. He’s my boss,” she says, looking at me like I’ve escaped the loony bin, like my fucking mother.

  “So what? I want to spend time with you, so call it off.”

  “I can’t.” She shakes her head.

  “Come on, Liv.” I give her a playful don’t fuck with me smile, but she just looks away slightly.

  My heart cracks.

  “Seriously?” I exclaim, my heart splitting open further and further with each silent second.

  She says nothing but bites her lip. She shakes her head, and the two halves of my heart fall to the floor and rock side to side.

  “Fine,” I snap, throwing her food on her desk with her drink. They nearly make a mess, and she whimpers while Moses gasps. I roll my eyes at the two of them before turning on my boots and marching out of the office, feeling left out and cold.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I can’t fucking believe this crap. Liv’s basically cut herself off from me, for her work and school. It feels like she’s done with me. Like, I can’t offer her anymore, so she’s icing me out and focusing on bigger, more important stuff. It hurts like fuck, worse than a fucking bullet wound. And let me tell you, that burns like a nasty bitch. I don’t like this one bit. I don’t like her looking at me differently, without the love and affection we had before any of this fucking bullshit job. It’s l
ike she has no time or desire for me anymore.

  Maybe I should have seen this coming. I mean, we aren’t exactly picture perfect. We have never looked like we belonged together. One look at us walking down the street, even if it’s just next to each other without holding hands, and you’d think, “Ugh, why is he walking so close to that girl? Should I call the police?” And it’s fucked up and wrong, but I always thought I was a fucking phase. Like, she’d wake up one morning and take one good look at me and my tattoos and my attire and my career and realize that she shouldn’t be with me. That she needs a Miguel and not a fucking Grey. I mean, who the fuck has a color for a name?

  “Another.” I sigh as I tap the whiskey glass on the sticky counter. Why is it that every bar I go to the fucking countertop is sticky, like people fuck on it or something? There is something called Windex, people. Come the fuck on!

  Anyway, I didn’t want to go home or back to the gym, so I trolled around the area for a bar and sat my ass in the farthest corner at the bar. I felt for a drink, many actually. A lot until I forget about Liv and her not loving me and shit…and until my heart doesn’t hurt at the thought of her not loving me.

  A girl with dirty blonde hair, thick black makeup covering hypnotic blue eyes, and a tight, ripped black tee struts behind the bar, over to me. Who the fuck’s she? A guy named Jack was serving me just a minute ago. Maybe they changed shifts?

  “Whiskey neat?” she asks, pointing a black-painted finger at me.