Grey: New Beginnings (Spectrum Series Book 5)

by Allison White

  My chest stings, and I look away, guilty.

  “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that…” she apologizes, and I nod, chewing the inside of my cheek.

  The chirps of grasshoppers fill the air, breaking the silence.

  I sigh and push the pain in my chest because of her words; she has a point. “What are the flowers for?”

  She looks up at me with wide eyes and wipes away tears. “Oh…I wanted to give these to Jonah.”

  “Is he buried here?” I look around for a headstone.

  “No, but this was his favorite place on the planet.” She smiles fondly, eyes glazing over with a memory. “We’d come out here and have snowball fights during the winter. And…” She sighs as she stands up and bends down at the base of the tree. I squat next to her and feel my heart crumble at the initials J & L carved in the bark. I kiss her temple, holding her head on my shoulder. “And he’d just like it here. Our little hideaway.” She gently lays the small bouquet down, frowning a little.

  “They had a larger one, but of roses.” I ignore her tense shoulders and the bile on my tongue. Fucking Rose. “But I know how you’re allergic to them, and these just looked prettier. More…you.” I didn’t know she’d give them to her dead brother, though.

  She smiles up at me like I just told her she could speak to animals. I know how much she loves them. “I was just thinking…these are my favorite, and I never told you.”

  “Oh?” I scrunch up my eyebrows and glance at the purplish flowers.

  “Mhm.” She leans up and kisses my cheek. “Thank you.”

  “Anything for you, princess.” I kiss her lips softly, lingering. Heat passes through me, and I want more, but this isn’t the right place or time. Leaning my forehead against hers, I whisper, “Do you want to stay out here a little longer?”

  She nods and whispers back, “No place I’d rather be.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Liv

  The next morning, I wake up to the sensation of tickling along my jaw. I shift around a little, and the sensation pauses. It takes a while for my body to wake up from the heavy slumber, but when I do, I realize Grey’s touching my face. Actually, he’s caressing it gently, like I’m fragile China silk. But I don’t want to disturb him, so I let out a little sigh and pretend to fall back into easy sleep. Sucker…

  I am his to touch, caress, and examine for the blissful moment. His breathing is rugged and warm as it fans against my eyelids. He sweeps his thumb along my chin, swirls it against my swollen cheeks, and flutters against my eyelashes. I gather all the self-control in me to not flinch as he gently kisses the tip of my nose. His fingertip brushes past my lips and dips into my cupid’s bow. It takes every bone in my body not to smile as he kisses my cheek, cupping my face.

  “You don’t have to pretend to be asleep anymore, princesa,” he whispers haughtily against the shell of my ear, then he kisses it, light as a feather. His lips are slightly pressed against my sensitive skin.

  I slowly open my eyes and blush. “Your touch is a lovely thing to wake up to, didn’t want to disturb you.”

  “Hmmm…” he hums as his once gentle touch becomes possessive, clamped around my butt, pulling me into him even more. I feel like Play-Doh against his hard, bare chest, but I don’t mind the squeeze if he’s the one holding me. “Would it have been better if I’d touched not only your face?” He questions with a lift of his mouth. A smirk. He’s teasing me. What a bastard. But he’s my sexy, sweet bastard.

  “Don’t you think it’s a little too early for your mind to be in the gutter?” I ask playfully, watching as his eyes glisten with mischief, his hand on my butt, massaging slowly. I wrap a leg around his hip and bite my lip, tracing his gently. He smiles and sucks on the tip. My heart beats against my chest, hard.

  He chuckles, letting my finger go. “It’s never too early, princess. I thought you knew that by now.”

  “Today it is,” I correct him.

  He hums, ignoring what I said, and rubs his nose against mine, lips brushing mine. “Let me taste you, bebé.” His hands grab my butt, and I gasp. He looks dangerous and too sexy for his own good. Tousled dark hair, absorbing black eyes, tattoos scattered against his golden-brown skin. I want to kiss every inch of him…but I have so much to do today.

  “Can’t.” I sigh and push against his strong shoulders. Oh…no, I am not falling for his perfectly cut and lean sculpted body. I sit up, then stand up, but I don’t get far when his large hands grasp my hips, pulling me to sit on the edge of the bed, and he begins rubbing my shoulders. He’s on his knees, making sure to place his large manhood against my back. He is not making this easy.

  “Where do you have to be in such a hurry, huh?” he asks and kisses just under my jaw.

  Fuck you, Grey Wyler.

  Why don’t you just fuck him instead? my naughty subconscious questions.

  Shut up!

  “Hello? Earth to Liv?” he croons, tickling under my chin.

  “Stop!” I plead, and he does, kissing my cheek. “You are so annoying,” I tell him, and he smirks against my skin. “And I have school, a doctor’s appointment, and I have to go pick out a car.”

  “Fuck school. I’ll take you to the doctor’s. And pick out a car? What do you need a car for? Can you even drive one?”

  I crane my head back to look at his confused, scrunched-up face. “School is extremely important, thank you, and yes, pick out a car. I need a car for transportation, and of course I can drive one. I wouldn’t be getting one if I couldn’t.”

  “You don’t need one. I can drive you places.”

  “What if you’re busy and I need to go somewhere?”

  He shrugs. “Then just don’t go to the place?” he says in a duh tone.

  Ugh.

  “I can’t depend on you for everything.”

  “Yes, you can. I’m your boyfriend.” He smiles like a kid accomplishing tying their shoes. It’s cute, but I can’t have him thinking I am dependent on him. Sure, he’s there whenever I need him, but I need to be able to be there for myself without his help. I need to be more independent.

  Then why don’t you tell him about New York and be even more independent?

  “Liv?” He calls my name.

  “Huh?”

  Did he say something?

  He sighs and sits next to me, pulling me on his lap. “I really don’t mind taking you places. I don’t want you to waste your money on something unnecessary.” He tucks a curl behind my ear, and I frown. He makes it sound like I should want to turn to him every time I need a ride or, well, anything for that matter. Like I shouldn’t be my own person.

  “Getting a car for myself is not unnecessary, Grey. I can’t just depend on you all the time,” I tell him, and he rolls his eyes.

  “Yes, you can, Liv. There’s nothing wrong with it.” More tucking. I’m getting frustrated now.

  I lean back, and his hand falls. He raises a questioning brow, and I scramble off his lap and onto my own two feet. “No, I can’t, Grey. I want to feel like I can step away from you and be all right, like I’m not crushed to pieces, unable to function.”

  His expression grows firm and strong as he stands up. “What do you mean ‘step away’? Are you planning on leaving me?” He tries to appear strong, but I can clearly hear the pain in his voice.

  I take a deep, long breath to calm down a bit. “No, of course not.”

  “Good,” he says, and I take a step back, brows raised. He rolls his eyes and pulls me into his chest, using my wrists. Tipping my head back with one hand while the other loops around my waist, he clarifies, “What I meant is…princess, I never want you to leave me. These words should speak volumes.” He pats his upper back, where my most favorite tattoos cementing his love for me lays. I blush at the memory of his sweet smile, his face pressed in my stomach, the buzzing noise of the tattoo gun on his skin.

  He breathes roughly, gripping my hands. “But if you really want a car, then I’m all for it.”

  I smile f
rom ear to ear, glad this didn’t turn into a full-fledged fight. I have a headache from drinking a little bit too much last night and am not in the mood to go at it with him. “I love you.”

  “Who wouldn’t?” he jokes and kisses my forehead.

  “Oh, shut up!” I swat at him, but he just laughs and kisses my nose. He can be so arrogant sometimes.

  He pulls away and walks around to the side of the bed he slept on last night. “We should head back now. I’ll stop for breakfast somewhere. We got a long drive back ahead of us.”

  “I’m sorry I made you drive all the way out here,” I say guiltily as I re-spread the sheets on the bed. Last night, instead of driving all the way back home, we slept here. I didn’t want to risk him getting tired and falling asleep behind the wheel. I already endured one tragedy on the road; I’d never survive another. Especially if I was the survivor again.

  “Liv, I’d travel across the fucking universe for you.” He winks at me. “Don’t be sorry. Be grateful you have such a hot, sexy, loyal boyfriend who’d do anything for you.”

  I throw a pillow at him, but he easily dodges it. “You could not be any more full of yourself. You know that, don’t you?” He just laughs and throws it back at me. My reflex is horrible, so he hits me in the stomach.

  “Ah, you’ve wounded me so terribly!” I groan playfully and fall onto the fixed sheets.

  “Oh no, I never meant to hurt you.” He pouts and crawls over to me, his knees on either side of me.

  I laugh and cup his face, studying every scar and sharp edge. “I’m sorry for what I said last night about us being nothing but…” I gulp and look away, then man up and look him in the eyes. “I hope you know that you’re enough for me, always and forever.”

  His lips twitch slightly, and he bends down, grazing his nose against mine.

  “And you are…”

  A phone ringing interrupts what he was about to say.

  “Hold that thought.” He pecks my lips.

  “Hurry up,” I groan, sitting up and running my hands through my hair. Maybe we can get a little quickie in since we’re being so sentimental. It feels like it’s been forever since I last felt him. And I don’t mean by holding his hand.

  He digs his phone out of his pants that are on the floor and slowly glares at the screen.

  “Everything okay?” I get on my knees and walk over to him. He steps back and tugs on his jeans before I can place my hands on his shoulders.

  “Mhm,” he hums.

  “Grey…” I warn. I know him. Someone just put him in a bad mood. I want to kill whoever is responsible for ruining our morning. I hate it when he’s in a bad mood. He gets closed off and becomes an asshole, well, more so than ninety percent of the time.

  “We have to beat the morning traffic, Liv,” he says and lifts his shirt from my body. My jaw grows slack as he pulls it on, stuffing his cursed phone in his pocket. “Hurry and put your stuff on. I’m in the car.” He walks out before I can even say anything.

  ***

  I only made it to one of my classes because of the heavy traffic between New York and Pennsylvania. I went to the other three and promised to not miss another class. The professors gave me a brief rundown of the lessons and assured me that I was doing well enough that I could graduate early, told me not to worry. I was on cloud nine when I heard that. To graduate a year early would mean next year’s my last, and I wouldn’t have school to worry about anymore, just my career.

  The New York deal popped up in my brain, nagging me to tell Grey before the chance passed me by. But I just put a lid on it and shoved it in the back of my mind. I still have a little over a month to tell Grey. I think he may even agree to come with me to New York. Last night when I was a bitch and said he would never give me enough, I saw that little flicker of guilt in his eyes. Like he wants to give me more, to make me happy. What if he were to move to another state with me? That would surely be enough.

  And manipulation…

  Ugh. This is why I want to put it off until the time is perfect.

  After my class, I went to my OB/GYN and had my check-up. I requested to be put back on birth control pills, since I’d stopped after Grey and I split up for six months and never got back on when we got back together. I hate to admit it, but I never knew if we’d last, if he’d actually forgiven me. But now it’s a mistake of the past that I wish I could erase. Nonetheless, we are stronger than ever, and I want to have a firm plan of protection. The idea of getting pregnant forms in my mind, and I actually feel excited at the prospect…but then I remember Grey and shut the idea down. I know he doesn’t want children or marriage. It’s a lot to take in and accept, but I have come to be okay with it. He’s it for me.

  Unfortunately, I didn’t find any cars I liked at the dealership. I’m not picky, but muscle cars and minivans weren’t my ideal types of transportation. Grey played the perfect, but silent, boyfriend as he drove me around from dealer to dealer. I thought I’d never find the right car until the very last used dealership we went to. A cherry red Nissan Maxima 2017. Sure, the tires are old and could use a change, there are a few scratches, and the inside smells like cat piss, but I could easily fix all of it. So I told the dealer that I would come back after doing extensive research. Buying a car is a big deal.

  Now, we are riding up in the elevator. I sigh and lean against Grey’s arm. It’s been a long day, and I am exhausted. Luckily, my headache is slightly fading. I’ll make some lavender tea, and it’ll go away completely in a few hours. Grey doesn’t say anything on the way up, nor has he spoken much for a good portion of the day. I’m worried about him. I hate it when he’s angry and punching things, but I rather that than the quiet man I don’t know how to read.

  “Are you going to tell me what has you upset?” I ask him after a while of silence and the elevator gears shifting.

  He finally shows that he’s a human and not a robot by sighing and wrapping an arm around me. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

  “Grey…” I groan, pressing my face in his leather jacket.

  He rubs my side and leans down to peck the top of my hair. “I promise it’s nothing, princesa.”

  Oh, fine. He’ll tell me later when he finds that he can. Or it will blow up in our faces, which normally happens. I just really pray for the former. I’m sick and tired of the latter.

  Finally, the elevator comes to a stop, and we step out.

  A male figure hunched over a moving box makes us stop, and I gasp when he stands up to his full height.

  My jaw drops. “David?”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Grey

  Before anyone can say anything or do anything, Liv is holding my hand, mentally letting me know that she’s by my side, that I’m not alone with this fucking traitor. I squeeze her hand as time slows down, and questions and anger consume me. What is he doing here? How did he get in here? Why the fuck is he here in Pennsylvania, and not with his chatty wife in Miami? I thought he didn’t think I was good enough anymore and tossed me to the side, done with me. So why come back? And what’s in the box?

  “Listen, Grey—” David breaks the wavering silence, holding his hands up defensively.

  “I don’t have to listen to a fucking word you say.” I take a step forward, but Liv yanks me back a little. I shoot her an annoyed look, and she narrows her eyes at me, as if to say, “Be cool or else…” We both know she wouldn’t do anything threatening to “or else” me if I don’t listen, but I grumble under my breath and staple myself to her side.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap at David. The fucker who didn’t think I was too much of a friend to inform he’d be leaving after five years of a solid friendship, in which we’d created an unbreakable bond as brothers. Guess it wasn’t so unbreakable after all…

  He lets out a huff. “I came to get some important documents I left behind.”

  “And you got in my apartment, how?”

  “Lance let me up.”

  I groan, rolling my eyes.
“That fucker needs to be fired,” I spit out through grinding teeth. That landlord has let up too many people without actual authentication for too fucking long. He needs to be fired. Pronto. I’m going to make that happen right now. I am so sick and tired of people I don’t want to see strolling up here like it’s a fucking lounge.

  “Get your shit and get out,” I tell him before storming into the hallway.

  “Wait, Grey!” he calls out.

  “Fuck off, David.” I throw a hand up to silence him, and I hear him sigh.

  “Grey, wait up.” Liv follows me into the bedroom. I ignore her and whip out my phone. I sit on the trunk-thing in front of the bed, and she sits next to me, lacing her hand through mine. “Why don’t you just hear him out?” she asks quietly.

  “Because he’s a fucking traitor, and I don’t want to hear bullshit. Not anymore.” I try not to sound peeved, but my smashing my thumbs against my phone as I dial contradicts that. “Now, hush, I’m getting our shit landlord fired. He shouldn’t just let every random person up without my fucking permission.”

  “He lived here and wanted some important things,” she points out like the reasonable person she is. I fucking hate that at this moment.

  “Lived being the operative word,” I say and press the phone to my ear, hunching over on my knees that bounces as I control my anger. I can still feel his unwanted presence. Why is he still here? He has his documents, so why isn’t he high-tailing it back to paradise island?

  “Grey,” Liv says in her “come on” tone.

  “Liv,” I reply in my “I don’t want to fucking talk to him” tone.

  She sighs and rubs the back of my hand, face scrunched up, those little wheels in her head churning. “Is he the person who called you this morning?” she asks, and I look to the side. “Grey.” She tugs on my hand, yanking me to look into her eyes. They widen, and her lips purse. “He was.”