Where Loyalty Lies

by Hannah Valentine

  When we finally emerged from the woods and stepped out onto a grassy hill, I stopped to take off my jacket. The October air was chilly but, after my trek, I welcomed its coolness. I was just trying to work out the easiest way to carry it when Saul took it from me and folded it over his arm.

  “Thank you,” I said. “So which way now?”

  “Just up the top of this hill,” Saul answered and we walked side by side in the direction he’d pointed.

  Halfway up I could see the top of a stone structure and I quickened my pace, eager to see what it was. It turned out to be a house or, more accurately, the ruin of a house. It was made of grey stone and although the walls were upright, the roof had patches that had fallen through. The sash windows were all broken and covered in many years’ worth of dirt. A lot of people might have been disappointed that they’d come such a long way to see an old ruin but I was fascinated. It was in the middle of nowhere with no roads or pathways leading to it and my imagination went into overdrive. Why had someone built a house here, so far away from everything?

  “Is it safe to go in?” I asked.

  “Yes, just be careful on the front steps; the wood has rotted through in places.”

  I picked a path up the stairs and when I got to the front door I stopped. It was clear that nobody lived here but it still felt rude to barge in. Luckily Saul didn’t have such inhibitions and he pushed the door open. Everything was in a complete state of disrepair. The walls and floor were made of stone, the same shade of grey as outside. Bits of broken furniture lay scattered in places which offered clues as to what the rooms had been used for. A large wooden table with only one leg was in a room I thought was a kitchen. A bookcase with no shelves made me think of a study. I carefully made my way through a doorway into a room at the back and stopped in my tracks. A huge window looked out over the back of the property and now I knew why this house had been built here.

  The view was incredible. The hill sloped down steeply. I hadn’t realised how high we were but, now I thought about it, we’d been walking uphill most of the time. In the distance was a lake; its water was like a mirror reflecting the beauty all around it. I wondered if the owner of this house had often gone for a dip in the lake in the summer. Trees grew on the tops of the surrounding hills; their leaves burnt in shades of red and orange. I tried to think of when I’d last seen something as breathtaking as this, but there was nothing.

  Chapter 27

  Saul moved up to stand beside me. As we looked out, it started to rain, hard and heavy. I was grateful that this particular window wasn’t broken.

  “It’s so stunning,” I finally said.

  Saul frowned slightly. “It would be nicer if it wasn’t raining.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s perfect. I love the rain.” I inwardly winced at my words. It was the truth; I really did love the rain but somehow saying it out loud sounded like I was trying to be romantic.

  “Nobody loves the rain, except for farmers,” Saul said.

  “I do,” I insisted. “I’m not really sure why. It would be nice to have a deep meaningful reason for it, but I don’t. I love it when it’s stormy outside and you’re all cosy inside, when you’re out with an umbrella and you can hear it hitting down just above your head but you’re still dry, and I even love it when you get caught out and it splashes down onto your skin and soaks your clothes.” I stopped, suddenly aware that I was talking out loud, and I chanced a look at Saul to see if he was staring at me like I was a crazy person. His expression was unreadable and, before I could try to figure it out, he turned and left the room.

  I mentally chided myself, thinking that he’d left so that he could distance himself from my incessant rambling, but then he came back in carrying a bench. I had no idea where he’d got it from but, taking in its slightly sorry appearance, I assumed that it belonged to the house.

  Saul placed it just in front of the window and we both sat on it looking out at the rain.

  “Well I’m sorry I can’t offer you ‘cosy’ but I’m definitely not going to let you get soaked walking back to the bike so, for now, we’ll just have to sit here and hope it eases off before we have to leave,” he said.

  I kept my gaze on the view. “Sounds good to me.” There was a moment of silence that, for my part, felt comfortable and then I asked, “How did you find this place?”

  “I just stumbled across it one day,” Saul answered.

  I waited for him to continue but he didn’t. So I did.

  “So do you know anything about who built it or who owns it?”

  “I’ve never seen anyone else here, or any signs that anyone visits it, so I imagine it’s just been forgotten over time. Good job really because, if someone did find it, I’m sure they’d knock it down and build some modern monstrosity here in its place.”

  I nodded in agreement. I was sure people would kill to have a view like this from their home. I wanted to ask if he came here a lot and if he’d ever brought anyone else here but common sense made me stop.

  I thought maybe he might not want to answer the first question and maybe I might not like the answer to the second.

  We lapsed into silence again and I studied the effect of the rain. The leaves were billowing in the wind, making them look like flames that were engulfing the trees. The mirror-top of the lake had been shattered and the ripples scattering across its surface gave the impression that the lake was boiling. It was a very different scene to moments ago and I thought that, if you lived here all year round, the scene would look different every single day.

  I peeked a look at Saul to see if he was enjoying it as much as I was and found that he was watching me again.

  He must like me, I told myself. You couldn’t look at somebody like that if you didn’t like them.

  His hand came up and he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I tried to remind myself to breathe. My mouth suddenly felt dry and I wanted desperately to lick my lips but I was worried he would see it as some sort of signal. His hand was still at my neck and he swept his thumb gently across my cheek.

  I was so swept up in the moment, I almost sighed. But then a thought popped into my head. I wonder how many women he’s done that to? It seemingly came from nowhere but, nevertheless, it had come through loud and clear.

  The problem wasn’t that he’d been with other women. I knew that, when you’d been alive as long as Saul, it was inevitable that you’d rack up quite a number. The problem was that, although it was clear Saul liked me, I might be a passing fancy for him. I might just be his next number and nothing more. For me it was so much more.

  I’d had three relationships in my life and they’d all been semi-serious. They’d all been nice enough guys, otherwise I’d never have dated and slept with them, but as much as I’d tried, I’d never been able to fall in love with them. Although I hadn’t known about my Attraction back then, I’d always known that there was something unnatural about how much they loved me. I’d wanted so much to get caught up in the desperate whirlwind of emotions that people talked about when they fell in love, but it had never happened for me. All three guys had proposed, had told me how desperate they were to spend their lives with me, but it had never felt right. I had known that the proposals had more to do with wanting to get a ring on my finger to mark me as taken and to make sure that I wasn’t just going to run away. It might have been because I never knew if the guy I was seeing was really attracted to me, or just caught up in the same emotion that most guys felt when they saw me or it maybe it was just because I hadn’t found the right person, but I had always felt like I was just going through the motions.

  This, however, could well be love for me. I felt ridiculous even thinking it when I hardly knew Saul, but wasn’t that how love was supposed to be? Someone who made your heart race and an unexplainable pull that told you that you loved them? That’s just how I felt – like being with Saul would complete my heart and make it whole. I wasn’t saying I wanted to declare my love today and get married on the way ba
ck to Rillith, but I did know that this didn’t feel like a bit of fun to me; it felt like the beginning of something big. It was like when you read the first chapter of a book and just know that it’s going to be one of your favourites forever. What were the chances of Saul feeling the same way about me? Very slim. At that realisation, I felt tears prick my eyes and I quickly looked back to the window, willing them to go away. Saul’s hand dropped slowly from my face.

  “You’re not very trusting, are you?” he said.

  I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but I answered it anyway. “I guess it’s just my nature,” I said quietly.

  Saul was quiet for a moment and this silence was not so comfortable. “How is it you trust Henry so much? I understand why you care for Holt, but how is it that you and Henry are so close?”

  Despite my sadness, I laughed. “Because he got me drunk and made me spill out all my secrets to him.” Saul looked like he was considering the idea, so I quickly carried on. “Plus I think we just get each other. We’re both just who we are and there’s no pretending or games. For me it’s nice to have someone I can be myself around. He doesn’t need or want anything from me, other than my company, so I have no reason to mistrust him.”

  I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and needed to move. “The rain’s let up a bit; I think we should chance it now in case it gets heavier again.” Saul didn’t argue. He didn’t say anything at all, he just handed me my jacket and followed me outside.

  The journey back was made in silence. A number of times I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it again, fearing I’d just make things worse. What was I supposed to say? I’d spent the entire trek up to the house sulking because I wasn’t sure that he liked me, then, when he’d made a move, I couldn’t get away quickly enough. I couldn’t have given out more mixed signals if I tried but it wasn’t like I could explain that I did really like him but was just worried that I liked him too much. Nothing would make him run away faster.

  The rain didn’t get heavier but it didn’t stop either and, by the time we were back at the bike, we were both soaked. Luckily Saul had picked a thick tree to leave his bike and my helmet under and they were both relatively dry.

  Before I could pick my helmet up, Saul grabbed my arm and yanked me into his arms. His wet hair was dripping onto his face and I vaguely wondered if there was ever a time and place when he didn’t look gorgeous.

  His mouth was on mine before I could summon up the sense to back away and, from the second his lips touched mine, all coherent thought was wiped from my brain. I closed my eyes and felt the cold rain drops land on my face and cool the burning heat that was rising in my body. Saul held me tight to him, as if worried that putting a millimetre of space between us might give me the chance to back away.

  All too soon it was over and Saul pulled away. I stood, speechless, trying to work out how I was feeling. My body felt so hot I was sure there must be steam coming off me. Saul was standing deathly still and watching me. I knew he was trying to sense my emotions and I wondered if he was as confused by them as I was. This kiss had sealed the deal for me; it had confirmed the suspicions I’d had at the cabin. That single kiss had caused a greater reaction in me than all my other relationships put together. How typical that I should finally find someone who gave me the whirlwind of emotions I’d longed for, and he just happened to be the one person who was almost certain to love me and leave me. I remembered Henry’s story about spending months in one place just because Saul had fancied the barmaid. Once Saul had had his way with her, he’d left without a second’s hesitation. I’d officially fallen for the Casanova of the vampire world. Just like that, the heat left my body.

  “We should go,” I said. I put on my helmet and went and stood next to the bike, silently pleading that Saul wouldn’t argue. He didn’t, he just got on the bike, kicked it into gear and waited for me to get on before he roared down the road.

  Chapter 28

  The next morning I was up bright and early. If truth be told, I’d hardly slept all night. I had lain in bed for hours replaying my kiss with Saul over and over in my mind. When we’d arrived back at Rillith, we’d met up with Henry about half a mile from the gates so that nobody would be in trouble for having left me in the supervision of only one enforcer.

  I’d ridden up to Rillith’s front doors on the back of Saul’s bike but he’d barely pulled to a stop before I’d leapt off and rushed over to Henry’s car, where I’d grabbed my bags, thanked Henry and left before Saul had a chance to stop me.

  I hadn’t seen Holt for a couple of days and I decided to drop by and see him. He was always telling me that I was welcome to drop in and, I had to admit, I was interested in seeing if his rooms at Rillith looked the same as his cabin.

  I followed the directions that Holt had given me and found that, unsurprisingly, they were perfect and took me straight to room number 160. I pressed the intercom buzzer and a few moments later Holt opened the door. A surprised look crossed his face but it was almost immediately replaced with a look of genuine happiness. He pulled the door wider and motioned for me to come in.

  “You’re sure you’re not busy?” I asked.

  “Not with anything important,” Holt said with a smile as he closed the door behind me.

  We stood in a hallway that had a round wooden table in the centre of it. There were two doors leading out, one stood open and I could see a large wooden table with at least ten chairs around it. I guessed that this was the place where Holt worked and conducted his meetings.

  He led me through the other door into his private living area. This room was much as I’d expected it would be. None of the furniture matched, giving the impression that it was stuff he’d picked up over the years. It wasn’t messy but there was a sense of organised chaos and plenty of clutter. I couldn’t help but smile.

  Holt led the way through an archway at the back of the room that I hadn’t even noticed. This took us into a small room that had only a sofa in it but that was all it needed because one wall of the room contained an enormous window that looked out over the Scottish countryside. The view reminded me of the one from the abandoned house.

  We both sat on the sofa. It occurred to me that we were in exactly the same position that Saul and I had been in yesterday and yet it felt completely different.

  “I don’t know why you spend so much time in my rooms when you have a view like this,” I said.

  “It’s a vampire thing,” Holt explained. “Our territorial nature means that we don’t like sharing our space, even with people we get along with. You don’t have that territorial instinct so I’m afraid you drew the short straw and everyone ends up at yours.”

  “Well that explains a lot,” I said before the first part of his sentence had sunk in. “Does that mean you’re uncomfortable with me here?”

  “No, you’re welcome here whenever you like,” Holt said. Once again Holt’s kindness touched me.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “So is there a reason for your visit? Do you have another list of questions for me to answer?” Holt asked and I could tell by his tone that he was teasing me.

  “Actually, no, I just wanted to come and say hello.”

  “Surely you haven’t run out of things to do around here yet?”

  “I haven’t come to see you because I’m bored and have nothing better to do,” I stated. “I came to see you because I wanted to.” Holt gave a smile that made me smile back. “Besides I don’t think I could ever get bored here, I keep discovering new things to keep me entertained.”

  “Have you seen the swimming pool yet? It’s usually empty; with our heightened sense of smell, most vampires steer clear of it because of the chlorine.”

  I had been to the swimming pool, actually, not that I could remember anything about it other than it had some comfy sun loungers around it. I got the usual stab of guilt that arose whenever I remembered that day and how I’d skipped out on Dale after he’d been so nice to me.

&n
bsp; I eyed Holt; there was no way I could tell him the whole story. I didn’t think he’d be too happy about the condition I’d been in after my tests that day. Still, I thought Holt was the only person I could ask about Dale.

  “Actually, I do have a question,” I said.

  “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” Holt answered.

  “I... well, I sort of made a friend. He’s a guy I met the other day but he’s not a vampire, he’s one of the staff. I’ve only seen him once but I was thinking of going to see him again. I’m just not sure if that’s something The Sénat would like. Would my making friends with the other humans here damage my trial?” In truth I was planning on visiting Dale anyway, but if Holt had told me that The Sénat wouldn’t approve, I’d have had to make sure nobody saw me.

  “I see no harm in you picking whoever you like to be your friends. However, it may be wise to keep any get-togethers with the staff quiet until your trial is over. Technically it should make no difference what or who your friends are, but there’s a large group of vampires who do tend to look down on humans, so for the time being I suggest you keep things low profile. Better safe than sorry.”

  I nodded. The fact that Holt hadn’t told me that I was banned from mingling with the humans sealed his place in my heart. I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me. I don’t think he had any idea how important he was to me, but I knew I couldn’t tell him because it would embarrass him. I wished there was something I could do in return, to thank him for the incredible kindness he’d shown me, but I couldn’t think of anything. One day I would. One day I would find the perfect way to reward him for everything.

  We sat and chatted for over an hour and then I excused myself, partly because I suspected that Holt had tons to get on with and partly because I had one more person I needed to visit today.