Where Loyalty Lies

by Hannah Valentine

“I’m not sure I’d be as composed as you, given all the facts.” She hadn’t moved.

  I shut my book and gave her a level stare. Once again she looked stunning, her auburn hair loose around her shoulders and today’s dress a deep emerald green that matched her eyes perfectly.

  “Look, Monique, it’s obvious you have something you’re desperate to tell me, so why don’t we just cut the crap and get to the nitty-gritty?” Her eyes slitted at me in dislike but then a look of satisfaction settled on her face. It made me nervous. Anything that made her that happy was not going to be good for me.

  “How much do you know about half-vampires?” she asked.

  “Well, I guess that depends on how you look at it,” I replied. “Being the only one, I’m pretty sure I have a more intimate knowledge than most, but I think it will take a few years before I realise my true potential.” The words came out sounding vaguely threatening even though I hadn’t meant them to.

  To my surprise Monique chuckled.

  “So it really is true, you don’t know.” She shot me her own winning smile and I felt a lead weight settle somewhere in my gut.

  “Know what?” I asked, mentally preparing myself.

  Monique leant down so that her face was only a couple of inches from my own.

  “You’re not the first half-breed, not by a long shot. Hundreds have come before you, but they were all slaughtered in their cribs so the world would be rid of filth like you. You’re nothing special. The only thing amazing about you is that you’ve managed to avoid the stake for so long.”

  I hurled myself at her and, before I knew it, I had her up against the wall. I guess my combat training had paid off because I had no memory of how we’d got here.

  “You’re lying,” I hissed.

  “No.” Despite her position between me and the wall, she smiled, but this time it was sly. “I’m not the one that’s been lying to you.”

  I felt something dig into my ribs and looked down to see the book she’d been holding positioned between us. It was open and, as I looked at the double page spread, I gasped. I took the book with shaking hands and stepped back, somehow hoping that different lighting would change the black and white sketch. It didn’t. My eyes hovered over the scene, not quite able to take it in. It was a gory image of a group of vampires on horseback, eyes black and fangs showing as they cheered in victory. They were decked out in battle gear, covered in what I assumed was blood and one of them was holding the severed head of a woman. Behind them was a huge pile of bodies. My eyes filled with tears as I looked over the pile and noticed it was all women and children. When I saw the body of a baby, I quickly looked away from the pile and noticed the caption at the bottom of the page, “The great half-breed slaying of 1835”. My tears spilled out and ran down my cheeks.

  I looked back at Monique to see she was still smiling and the meaning of her last words began to sink in. No she hadn’t been lying, which meant that other people had.

  I turned and ran, not caring that I knocked into people on the way. When I reached my rooms, I burst through the door and slammed it shut so hard it rattled in the frame. All three of them were sitting there, as I’d known they would be. Thomas was also there, sitting opposite Henry at the dining room table while they played cards. Holt and Saul were sitting at either end of the sofa. All of them stared at me in astonishment.

  “What’s wrong?” Saul asked, standing up and moving towards me.

  “No!” I screamed. I realised the hideous book was still in my hand and I hurled it at his head.

  Saul ducked and the book went sailing across the room, hit the wall and landed on the floor with a thud.

  “You don’t get to ask questions. It’s my turn. When the hell were you going to tell me?”

  Thomas stood and slipped out of the room. I let him go.

  “Tell you what?” Holt asked. “Faine, what’s happened?”

  I ignored his questions and watched as Henry crossed to the book and picked it up. He read the cover and swore. Holt and Saul turned to see what he was swearing at and got a glimpse of the object that was accountable for my behaviour. They all stared at me again but, this time, it was guilt that marred their faces. I stared back. It was unbearable. I’d trusted them; I’d truly come to rely on them and they’d betrayed me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked again. My voice was thick with the lump in my throat but I was already crying so I didn’t try to cover it up.

  “I’m sorry, Faine.” Holt stepped towards me but I took a step back, not wanting to be close to him. “We all are, but we didn’t think it would help to weigh you down with this.”

  “No, it wouldn’t have helped, but it would have stopped me looking like an idiot when I was told. It would have come as less of a shock when I had a book shoved in my face that depicts hundreds of people being murdered just because we’re considered some sort of disease.”

  Saul looked like he wanted to step forwards but he knew I wouldn’t let him anywhere near me.

  “Who gave this to you?”

  “Why does that matter?” I snapped.

  “Because they’ve obviously done it to upset you and I want to know who it is.”

  I shook my head. “They’re not the one at fault here. Yes, they did it to hurt me but they’re nothing to me. You’re the ones to blame for not telling me. How could you even think I wouldn’t find out? Didn’t you think this was something I needed to know? You must be able to see what this means to me. Those people are me.”

  “Faine, you have to understand that nothing like that will ever happen to you,” Holt assured me.

  “Why? Because I’m too old to be murdered? Because, unlike those babies and children, I’m capable of standing up for myself?”

  The idea of so many innocent children being murdered crashed into me again. My mind reeled at the awfulness and unfairness of it all and I broke into loud sobs. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I felt an arm go around me and I shrugged it off, pushing away the owner of it without even opening my eyes.

  “Get out,” I said. When I didn’t hear the door open, I looked up. Saul was very close to me. “Get out,” I said again. “All of you.”

  “Faine...” Holt tried to speak but I cut him off.

  “GET OUT!” I shouted. “Unless I’m mistaken this is my room and I don’t want any of you in here so just go; I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

  For a moment none of them moved but then Holt headed towards the door followed by Henry. Saul looked like he wanted to say something.

  “Go,” I said, glaring at him.

  He left, closing the door behind him.

  My strength left me, my legs buckled and I landed on the floor, my back resting against the couch. I stayed there crying for a long time making no effort to keep my sobs quiet. When there were no more tears left to fall and my head was pounding like it always did after I cried, I sat and stared at nothing in particular until my gaze landed on the book that was still sitting on the coffee table where Henry had left it.

  I wanted to destroy it. To kick it over and over before ripping it into tiny little pieces and burning it so that it no longer existed. But I knew what I had to do. I had to read it. I knew the pages were going to be packed with horrific images and information that I’d carry with me forever but I had no choice. It was my history and I needed to know everything because, somehow, I’d been the only one to avoid this fate.

  Slowly I leaned forwards and pulled the book off the table and onto my lap. It was bound in black leather. The title in gold scripted letters was simple, The History of Half-Breeds. With a long shaky breath I opened the cover and started to read.

  Chapter 47

  I read it cover to cover and when I’d finished I placed it back on the coffee table. It had been as I’d expected. The half-breed issue had never been a problem in the earliest vampire times because, when a human woman carried a vampire’s offspring, the pregnancy was always complicated and either ended in miscarr
iage or with both the mother and child dying during the birth. But by the early 1800s there had been a large advancement in medicines and so The Sénat started to worry about this problem and took it upon themselves to create a law that forbade any vampire from making a human woman pregnant. This law was apparently created because there was no way of knowing what the children would grow up to be like, if they survived, and whether they’d become unwanted competition to the vampire world. It was impossible for female vampires to fall pregnant as their reproductive organs no longer worked as they should.

  The punishment for a male vampire who did get a human female pregnant was death and the woman was either Influenced into having an abortion or, if she was too far along for that, the mother and child were both killed in some way that was made to look like an accident to the unknowing human world. The threat of death was usually enough to make sure that the vampires kept to the laws, but there were occasional uprisings, like the illustrated one in 1835. These were rebellions against the law as many vampires considered it to be unfair; they wanted to be able to create their own line, which would give them much more power. In these cases, The Sénat had discovered the whereabouts of the families concerned and had sent groups of enforcers to kill all the women and children.

  A semblance of compassion seemed to have touched The Sénat in 1904 because they’d made a small change to the law. Now, if a pregnancy was too well advanced to be aborted, the mother and baby would be taken away from the human world and would live in one of the vampire bases. Once there, the baby would be under constant supervision and would undergo tests to determine if they could be classed as a vampire or a human.

  This situation had never occurred, though, because when The Sénat had changed the law, a group of vampires who disputed the change had risen up and decided to take the law into their own hands. This group was called ‘Incorruptus’ and their true identities were unknown. They took on the old role of the enforcers and somehow managed to locate every half-breed and kill them before The Sénat could even find them. Not much was known about Incorruptus and the secrecy of their group meant that The Sénat had never been able to put a stop to their law-breaking.

  Knowing what I did about The Sénat and the entire vampire race, I was willing to bet that there wasn’t a whole lot of effort being put into stopping Incorruptus. In fact it probably suited The Sénat perfectly as they’d been able to change the law, making themselves appear accepting and considerate but, thanks to Incorruptus, they’d never actually had to bother with the hassle of dealing with a half-breed. Until me.

  Feeling the need to move, I got up and started the shower, waiting until the glass was steamed over before I stepped under the spray of water. My joints and muscles were stiff from staying still for so long and I let the warm water work its magic on my body. However, it could do nothing to stop the mess in my mind.

  Frenzied thoughts kept coming back to me. The first was the question of the first part of my life. I’d often wondered what the circumstances had been that had led to me being deserted as a baby and I wondered if my parents had deliberately left me on Mary’s doorstep. Anytime I'd ever mentioned my parents to Mary, she'd scolded me. She told me that they'd been irresponsible enough to create a baby that they were either incapable or unconcerned about looking after and so I shouldn't waste my time thinking about them. But now all I could think was that maybe my parents had cared about me. Maybe the only reason they'd left me with Mary is because they'd hoped that I’d avoid detection from both Incorruptus and The Sénat. They’d wanted me to grow up having an ordinary life. I also had to rethink that night three years ago. It was no longer a mystery as to why that vampire had tried to kill me. He’d been a member of Incorruptus and he’d wanted to rid the world of another half-breed.

  Another thing that bothered me seemed a lot more sinister. As soon as I’d read that it had been the enforcers that had murdered so many half-breeds, something inside me had frozen in fear. The hot water running down my skin was doing nothing to thaw it out. Holt had been an enforcer, and Henry and Saul still were.

  I couldn’t imagine that any of them would have done something so terrible. I’d heard all three of them talk of assignments they’d completed as enforcers. I knew they’d killed vampires who’d broken the law, so was it really that far-fetched to think the worst?

  When I was dry and dressed I sat on the edge of my bed. I had a whole new understanding of the tests I was being put through. It seemed the results could have a huge effect on my life. If it was decided that I was more vampire than human, I’d be expected to live their life and abide by their laws, whether I agreed with them or not. If they thought I was more human, Holt had said they’d probably want me to stay at Rillith until they knew I could be trusted not to tell anyone what I knew. Now I understood that The Sénat knew full well that I was a half-breed; they were just trying to make me seem too human to be called a vampire. They didn’t want the embarrassment of a half-breed at Rillith. Holt, Henry and Saul had known exactly what The Sénat were up to and still they hadn’t thought to fill me in.

  What was even more worrying was that now my story was out there. I doubted there was a single vampire that hadn’t heard about the half-breed living at Rillith and that meant Incorruptus also knew of me. It didn’t matter what The Sénat decided I was, I would always be a walking target. Incorruptus would always be out to get me and now they knew exactly where I was.

  A glance out of the window told me I’d lost a whole day and night and it was Friday morning. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. What I really needed was a friend but the sad fact was that I’d just lost three of my friends in one moment. I reached for my mobile. Yes, Dale was the only friend I had left but he was also exactly the company I needed. I was sick of vampires and Dale’s cheerful face was just what I wanted to see. It was too early to ring, I didn’t want to wake him, so I sent a text saying that I could really use him right now and then I waited.

  Not half an hour had gone by when the intercom at my living room door buzzed. I scowled thinking it would be Saul but then I heard Dale’s voice coming though the crackly speaker.

  “Room service.”

  I rushed to the door and opened it to see Dale on the other side standing next to a trolley packed with silver platters with domed lids. I ushered him inside, trying to smile. He grinned back but then stopped as he took in my appearance. I hadn’t looked in a mirror but I was betting I looked rough.

  “You’ve been crying,” he said.

  I tried to shrug it off but all my thoughts came crashing onto me again and the corners of my mouth started to tug down. Before I could stop myself, I burst into tears. It seemed my break in the shower had given my tear ducts time to refill. Dale’s arms were round me in an instant and I slumped against him, relieved that I could finally take comfort from someone who was offering it.

  Dale didn’t ask questions, he just stood holding me until I’d managed to get a grip of myself. Eventually I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at him.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up just so I could soak your T-shirt.”

  Dale glanced down at the wet patch that was now on the shoulder of his Led Zeppelin shirt and shrugged.

  “It’s okay, it’ll dry.” He looked me over again. “Besides I’m more worried about you right now. You look like shit.”

  I laughed at Dale’s brutal honesty.

  “Aw, come on now, Dale, you don’t have to go saying nice things about me just to cheer me up.”

  Dale smiled at my feeble attempt at a joke but he didn’t lose his seriousness.

  “Sit down,” he ordered. “You look like you need something to eat.” I grimaced but before I could object Dale continued, “I have a whole trolley of food here that will only go to waste if you don’t eat it.”

  Dale listed what was on the trolley, which was pretty much every breakfast option you could imagine, and then handed me my choice of pancakes and syrup. He filled a glass with orange juic
e and placed it on the coffee table in front of me. As he did, he noticed the book and after reading the title he looked at me in surprise.

  “I take it this is the cause of the waterworks.”

  I nodded.

  “Do you mind if I take a look?”

  As he flicked through the pages, I watched him to see what his reaction would be. His brow furrowed as he flicked through and read passages here and there but, when he got to the double page picture, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

  I could tell by the concern in his eyes that he wasn’t sure how to proceed, so I told him everything – how Monique had given me the book, about my screaming at Holt, Henry and Saul and then my marathon reading and crying session. We both picked at the food while I talked and, by the time I’d finished, Dale had regained his composure.

  “You’re right to be upset, Faine. This half-breed shit is barbaric and you should have been told. It’s given you information that has not only helped you understand things from your past but has changed things in your future. No matter what the reason, it’s nobody else’s right to decide what you should or shouldn’t know, not when it comes to stuff like this.”

  I closed my eyes in relief. I knew I could have handled the whole thing with a hell of a lot more dignity, but it was so good to hear somebody agree with me.

  “Right, that’s the food down, now it’s time you got some sleep,” Dale said.

  I opened my eyes. “No, I’m not tired.”

  “I don’t buy that for a second.”

  Dale stood up, pulled me out of my chair and ushered me into the bedroom.

  “Dale, I...” I’d wanted to say I just couldn’t face going to sleep. I was scared of what images would fill my head when I closed my eyes. But I couldn’t bring myself to say that out loud.

  Dale seemed to guess what I was thinking because his gaze softened. “It’s okay,” he said. “Come on.”

  I let him gently push me onto the bed and then he climbed up and lay back next to me.

  “If you’re not tired, then we’ll just sit here for a while and you can listen while I tell you what I’ve been up to for the last couple of days.”