Where Loyalty Lies

by Hannah Valentine

  “I can’t say that I know how you feel. But what I do know is she’d hate to see you like this. She’d hate to see you tearing yourself apart over something that can’t be changed.”

  Holt ran his thumbs over my note, staring at it like it had all the world’s biggest secrets written on it.

  “I know she’d be proud of you too,” I said. Holt finally looked at me. “She’d be proud of everything you’ve done for me. Not only did you save my life all those years ago when Incorruptus tried to kill me, but you saved me from wasting my life. Everything good in my life has only happened because of you.”

  “You make me sound like a hero,” Holt said, feebly attempting a smile.

  “You are my hero,” I admitted.

  This time Holt’s smile was genuine. There was total love in his eyes and I was certain it was reflected back in my own. The truth was I’d come to see Holt as the father I’d never had. I’d always heard about the special bond there was between fathers and daughters and now I understood it. I wouldn’t give up my relationship with Holt for anything in the world.

  Chapter 58

  “So what exactly am I supposed to wear to this thing?” I called to Henry. I was sitting at my dressing table doing my makeup and Henry was in the living room flicking through the TV channels. He appeared in the open doorway.

  “Thing? Do you even know what it is we’re going to?” he asked in amusement.

  I smiled. “I know it’s not a ball or a banquet and that’s good enough to make me want to go.”

  Henry crossed to my wardrobe and started riffling through. “You haven’t even been here four months and you’re already fed up with balls? You’ll never last here with that attitude.”

  He gave me a look of mock disappointment and I rolled my eyes.

  “This will do.”

  Henry pulled out a black conservative knee-length dress and laid it on the bed. I frowned.

  “That dress? Okay, now I’m interested. What is it we’re going to?”

  “It’s the swearing in,” Henry said simply as if that would make things clearer.

  “And that means what exactly?” I asked.

  Henry leant casually against my dresser. “It’s when the new vampires arrive and swear their allegiance to The Sénat.”

  A little bell went off in my head and I remembered Dale saying something about new vampires having to spend time in America. I’d wondered about it at the time but had been too preoccupied with other things to delve into it further.

  “New vampires? I thought it was against the law to create new vampires?”

  “It’s against the law to create new vampires without getting The Sénat’s permission first,” Henry corrected. “Every July The Sénat accepts applications from humans who want to become a vampire. The Sénat pick who they want and then, in January, the humans are taken to a camp where they’re turned and then they stay there for a year while they learn how to live their new lives. Once that year has passed they’re brought to wherever The Sénat are residing so that they can swear their loyalty and be given their official positions.”

  I thought Henry was joking but his expression told me he wasn’t.

  “Applications? You mean humans apply to become vampires?”

  “You’re really that surprised?” Henry asked. “You don’t think that most of the staff here would want to become vampires?”

  I considered it. Dale’s negative opinion of vampires made it clear that he’d never want that, but maybe he was in the minority. The staff probably looked at vampires and saw a comfortable lifestyle, enhanced senses and possibly eternal life. That would appeal to most people.

  “I guess I’d never really thought about it,” I said. “But I thought The Sénat didn’t want loads of new vampires? Wasn’t that the reason they brought in that law, so they could stop the numbers increasing too much?”

  “That’s why they made the law but the new vampires they bring in are to replenish the numbers we lose, not to add to what we already have.”

  Makeup done, I got up and indicated for Henry to turn around while I dressed.

  “What do you mean ‘numbers we lose’?” I asked.

  “Enforcers mostly,” Henry said. “A lot of enforcers get killed in their jobs and The Sénat know they need enforcers so, when they go through the applications, they generally try to pick people who will choose to be enforcers. That’s also why there aren’t many females because The Sénat sees no need to create more of them.”

  I stared at the back of Henry’s head. I’d known that being an enforcer had its risks but he was making it sound like enforcers dropped like flies. Henry sensed my concern and turned around. He strode over to do up the zip on the back of my dress.

  “Aw you don’t need to worry yourself about me, I can handle myself. And Saul’s not bad either,” he joked.

  I tried to force a smile but it wouldn’t come.

  “Henry, how dangerous is it being an enforcer?” I watched his expression, wanting to see the truth in his eyes.

  Henry shrugged but it looked more uncomfortable than casual. “We go out to find people who don’t want to be found and most of the time we have to kill them; it’s always going to have its risks.”

  I stared at him. He seemed so matter of fact about it.

  “So you don’t mind constantly risking your life to kill someone that The Sénat wants dead?” I asked.

  Henry reached up to tousle my hair and then realised he couldn’t because I’d pinned it up.

  “It keeps me on my toes,” he said. A brief glimmer of sadness touched his eyes and then he snapped back to himself. “So we get to go and watch as the new guys shake in their boots and swear an oath in front of every person here at Rillith.”

  I smiled at Henry’s eagerness and slipped on my shoes as he checked the collar of his white dress shirt in the mirror.

  The swearing in was taking place in a large rectangular room with a raised platform right in the centre. I followed Henry along the rows of benches where we met up with Holt, Thomas and Roy. I took my seat between Henry and Holt and looked around. The room was full already. There were a few people standing up in one corner by a set of double doors and I assumed that’s where the new guys were going to enter. I strained in my seat to see if Saul was over there but he wasn’t.

  Saul had told me he was involved in today’s events but I had no idea what it was he was supposed to be doing. Giving up on my search, I fixed my attention on the platform in the middle only to see Saul standing up there staring at me. He smiled at the look of surprise on my face and I automatically smiled back.

  I leant over to Henry. “Why’s Saul up there?” I whispered.

  I knew half the room could probably hear me but it seemed polite to keep my voice down.

  “Most of the new people will be employed as enforcers, so the top enforcer has to be present. It’s symbolic really; Saul is the standard to which the new guys should aspire,” Henry said.

  I looked back at Saul and raised my eyebrows. He’d heard what Henry had said. My smile grew into a grin. I felt hugely proud of him standing up there; he must have felt it because he gave me a wink and then our attention was drawn to the double doors at the far end of the room. They were pulled open and The Sénat entered. Everyone stood and watched as they glided up the steps to the platform and took their seats at a table. Saul and the two others he was standing with moved to one side of the table, facing the doors again. We all sat back down.

  Sénator Aimery gave a wave of his hand and the doors opened again. A line of vampires came in and stood at the bottom of the steps, waiting to be called up. I counted them, there were twenty-four. Did that really mean that twenty-four enforcers had died in one year? Their ages seemed to range from the early twenties to late thirties. I wondered how many of them actually wanted to be enforcers and how many had just agreed to be enforces because it was the only way they could be turned into vampires.

  At some signal I must have missed, the first recru
it moved up onto the platform and stood facing the Sénat. He pledged his allegiance and loyalty to The Sénat and then the man standing next to Saul came forward with a document that I guessed was a written confirmation of the verbal promise. The recruit signed his name without hesitation. Saul stepped forward and handed the new guy a dagger. I thought it was just ceremonial but the guy swiped the dagger across the top of his thumb and added a bloody thumbprint next to where he’d signed his name.

  He gave a bow of his head to The Sénat and left. The whole process hadn’t taken more than a few minutes, which was probably a good thing seeing as I was going to have to watch it another twenty-three times.

  When the line had ended and the last recruit had left, we all stood again as The Sénat left the room. Once again The Sénat didn’t seem to have any emotions, I honestly couldn’t tell if they were happy or not with today’s proceedings. Saul and the other two men vanished behind the same doors as The Sénat and then the rest of the room started to empty.

  “You coming?” Henry asked.

  I shook my head. “I think I’m going to wait here for Saul.”

  Chapter 59

  The room emptied faster than I’d have thought. I guess everyone was eager to go and gossip about the new recruits. The last person departed and I looked around; the room seemed larger now it was empty. I got up and moved closer to the platform, wondering if the new guys had been nervous in front of such a large audience. A movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention.

  Monique was standing about four rows back from where I’d been sitting. Great, just what I wanted; a little rendezvous with my personal bringer-of-bad-news. Her being here was no coincidence; I wondered what spiteful bit of information she wanted to pass onto me this time.

  Neither of us said anything. She moved through the rows of benches towards me with a deliberate slowness. I sat down on the closest bench and forced myself into a casual position.

  Don’t rise to it, I told myself, whatever she says. She’s just trying to wind you up, don’t give her the satisfaction.

  Monique came to a stop in front of me. Still neither of us spoke. I looked at her and, for the first time, I saw her for what she really was – a bully. Yes, she was beautiful and powerful but those qualities meant nothing to me now. I knew the main reason bullies picked on people was because of jealousy. She was jealous of me because I had Saul and she wanted him. Suddenly I wasn’t the least bit intimidated or impressed by her. Without realising it, I was smiling and that pushed her into speech.

  “I hope you don’t think that you having high-up friends means The Sénat will declare you a vampire,” she said.

  “No, my friends are my friends because I enjoy their company,” I said.

  “Well, make the most of them because, once you’re declared human, they won’t want anything to do with you.”

  I gave her a piteous look. “If that’s what you really think then I feel sorry for you, your friends can’t be as loyal as mine.”

  Her face twisted into a snarl. I wondered if she knew how ugly it made her look.

  “What do you know? You’re just a stupid little half-breed.”

  “Half-breed, yes. Little?” I glanced down at myself, pretending to judge my size. “I guess so. But I’m not stupid. You see, I’m clever enough to have sussed you out. I know why you hate me so much. Oh, I’m sure it’s partly to do with me being a half-breed but mostly it’s because you hate the fact that I have Saul. That’s why you gave me that book, because you thought it would make me hate him.”

  Monique’s pupils expanded. “You think you have Saul? You’re even more pathetic than I thought. You’re just the latest in Saul’s string of women. What makes you think you’re different to any of them?”

  “What makes you think you are?” I asked.

  Monique flinched like I’d slapped her.

  “What? You think I don’t know that you and Saul have been together? I told you, I’m not stupid. I can’t say I blame you, though, I mean he’s just so incredible in bed, it must be hard for you trying to find someone to top him.”

  Now she was really pissed. I didn’t tense a single muscle because she might see it as a weakness, but I mentally prepared my body to be ready to move in a split second.

  “Just you wait and see, Saul will come back to me; he always does when he’s bored of whichever slut’s currently warming his bed.”

  I actually laughed. “So you’re his fuck buddy? You’re the one he goes to when he hasn’t got anyone else?”

  Monique’s hand shot out to smack me but I caught it and threw it back at her. I stood and we glared at each other.

  “Do you really think it will last?” she asked. “How long do you think it’ll be until he gets bored of you?”

  “He won’t,” I said but, for the first time, a flicker of doubt ran through me.

  “Of course he will,” Monique purred, “just like he has a thousand times before. He’s hundreds of years old; you’ll never be enough for him. In fact, the next time he’s fucked you and you’re lying in bed sleeping because you need to recover, you can bet he’s wishing he was with me. Saul and I used to go at it for days, only stopping because we needed to feed and even then he sometimes wouldn’t quit, he’d just ask our meals to join us.”

  It was my turn to flinch and I hated the satisfied look it gave Monique.

  “That’s right; I’ve seen Saul with three women at a time. Do you still think you’re enough for him?”

  I couldn’t answer. I wouldn’t lie, but admitting she was right was something I wouldn’t do either. My silence was enough, though, and with one last satisfied smile, Monique left.

  Suddenly I didn’t feel much like seeing Saul. It wasn’t that I was upset with him, or angry, it was just that I knew he’d sense how upset I was with Monique and he wouldn’t rest until he’d got it out of me.

  I moved as quickly as I could without running to the door, but it was too late.

  “Bored of waiting?” Saul said.

  I turned to see him coming out of the double doors he’d disappeared through earlier.

  I smiled, trying to prevent it looking forced. It didn’t work.

  “What’s wrong?” Saul asked.

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “Faine, the last time I saw you, you were happy and a little bored, but now you might as well have a black raincloud over your head.”

  There was no way I could tell him – not to protect Monique, but to protect him. If he knew what Monique had told me then he’d feel like, every time we slept together, he’d need to prove he wasn’t thinking he’d be having a better time with Monique. The bottom line was that, every time we had sex, I wasn’t going to be able to stop Monique’s words from popping into my head. I sure as hell wasn’t going to pass that onto Saul to share too. It was time for a change of subject.

  “You could have told me you were such a big part of the swearing in today; I’d have got here earlier so I could have sat closer.”

  “Faine, changing the subject isn’t going to work,” Saul said.

  Damn. Okay, time to try again.

  “Does it hurt,” I asked, “when someone gets changed from a human to a vampire?”

  I could see Saul warring between pushing to see what was wrong and answering my question. His mouth twisted in frustration and then he sighed and sat on one of the benches.

  “That process doesn’t and, after that, you’re unconscious for a day or two, but the first few weeks are the worst because everything’s different. It takes a while to get used to your new body and the craving you get for blood. That’s why new vampires are kept under observation for the first year. It’s the time when they’re most likely to let their need for blood override their common sense and that means they might take it too far and kill a human when they’re drinking.”

  “What about you?” I asked. “You and Henry were turned before The Sénat started ruling, so you didn’t have anyone watching out for you.”

&n
bsp; “The man who turned us, Glenn, he let us stay with him for a couple of months while we learned the basics. Then we were on our own.” Saul’s gaze dropped and it was the first time I’d seen him so full of shame. I could tell that, at some point, he and Henry had done something he wasn’t proud of. Saul didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want to ask. Instead I sat next to him and took his hand in mine. He seemed surprised, but I didn’t know if it was because I wasn’t badgering him with questions or because I wasn’t disgusted with him.

  We’d reached a silent truce. He wouldn’t pester me about why I’d been upset earlier and I wouldn’t ask why he was upset now.

  Chapter 60

  I was officially lost. I’d been trying to take one of the underground passages to the staff houses but had come to two dead ends and now I wasn’t even sure which was the way back to my rooms. My best bet was to keep walking until I found something that I recognised or someone who could help me. I was definitely underground because there were no windows anywhere, but there were a labyrinth of hallways that all looked the same.

  I turned a corner and discovered a flight of stairs going up. I ran up them two at a time hoping that this floor would be more familiar. It wasn’t. I found myself in another hallway that seemed to stretch on forever. There were numerous rooms on either side and all of them had their doors open. After walking past five or six rooms, an odd feeling started to creep over me.

  Every room was the same. Each was decorated to a pleasant but unelaborate standard and they all had the same items of furniture – a bed, a sofa and a dressing table with a mirror. I knew they weren’t staff or vampire rooms but I couldn’t work out why they were all here, ready and waiting.

  When I noticed that all the doors had a little plaque with a room number on it, everything clicked into place. These were the feeding rooms. I looked around again with new eyes and it all made sense. I thought about what Dale had told me about the staff being beeped and told which room to go to. That was definitely where I was.