If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

  He asked, “What happened to your job? You quit?”

  “Naw, I got fired. But it’s all good. I’ll find me something else,” she said without care.

  “Like what? The cable company was paying you pretty decent. Where you gon’ get another job like that?”

  “I’ll find one Rock,” she said with certainty.

  “Cassie, it ain’t like you got a degree and qualified to do a lot of shit,” he mentioned.

  Cassie snapped. “And what the hell that’s supposed to mean? I can find a job out there with no degree, nigga! Where the fuck is your degree? Nigga!”

  “Damn…chill,” Rock said. “I’m just saying. Jazz probably could get you on at BevyCo but I don’t know what the hell you could do there. What Jazz do she went to school for.”

  “So you wanna remind me I didn’t go to college like Jazz and Tanya?” Her leg began to bounce.

  “Not like that Cass,” he said. “You always think somebody attacking you.”

  She remained quiet wearing a displeased look.

  “I ain’t come over here to make you mad,” he said trying to lighten the mood. He reached for her, wanting to pull her close.

  She snatched away from his grasp. “I’m good.”

  He blew air out in frustration. This was the shit he was talking about. Melody didn’t even give him these kind of problems.

  “Cass,” he spoke carefully.

  Cassie got up abruptly and headed towards the hall leading to the bedrooms. She called over her shoulder, “Lock the bottom lock on your way out.”

  Rock sat there in disbelief. When he heard her bedroom door slam, all thoughts of trying to make her feel better left. He couldn’t take much more of her hot/cold ass.

  He heard the bedroom door open. He didn’t even bother to look at her. He assumed she came back to apologize.

  “She mad at you?” Colette whispered.

  Rock was rather surprised to see Cassie’s mama standing there. He stood up to leave. “Yeah, she’s mad as always.”

  Colette’s already fallen straps seem to fall more allowing Rock to see the start of her left areola. If it had been somebody else’s mama, he would have been grossed out, but this was Colette. No man in his right mind, could say that Colette wasn’t bad. She put her daughters to shame. Even when they were younger, all the boys used to drool over Colette. Back then, Cassie hated it just as much as she did as an adult.

  Colette smiled at him. “You cute. You got a pretty lil baby face. How old are you?”

  Ignoring her, Rock headed to the entrance area. “Tell Cassie I’m gone.”

  “Wait,” Colette whispered. She stopped him before he headed down the hall. The way Cassie’s apartment was made was backwards. The bedrooms were in the front where the entrance was. A short hallway opened up to the living room, dining area, and the kitchen’s open space. If Rock made it the door, Cassie would be able to hear them.

  “You fucking with my daughter?”

  “Kinda,” he answered.

  “It don’t seem like she taking care of you. Take my number. When you need a real woman’s company, give me a call okay,” she said in a flirtatious manner. She made sure to brush her large breasts against him.

  He wouldn’t take Colette serious, but the idea of entertaining her seemed rather tempting. He shook his head. “I’m straight.” And he left, leaving Colette feeling defeated.

  Chapter 2

  A few days later, Cassie found herself at one of her best friend’s house. She was still upset at Rock for pointing out one of her biggest disappointments in herself. No, she didn’t go off to college when Jazmin, Tanya, and the rest of her childhood friends decided to go. She attempted to go to community college, but she wasn’t really feeling it. She didn’t enjoy those kind of things. Besides, she could barely focus with the shit her mama was doing. That’s where a lot of her resentment for Colette came from. Cassie couldn’t help but always wonder, if Colette had been a good parent like Paul and Phyllis were for Jazmin, how different her life would have turn out.

  That kind of nurturing and love was missing from her household growing up, which could have been almost considered a brothel back then. And she wasn’t able to get it from other relatives because people just didn’t want to be bothered with Colette and her drama. The only person that would show them some love was their uncle Cut, but he only came through every once in a while to break them off some money, or some goodies he bought hot off the street.

  Cassie’s eyes traveled to Rock as he talked with Jah, their mutual friend. She didn’t even know why she insisted on hopping in the car with him when he came over. He was trying to kiss up and make her feel better, but it wasn’t working. When she discovered that he was coming over here, she wanted to tag along.

  Jazmin took the cellphone from Genesis before she could bang it on the glass coffee table. “Give me this phone.”

  Genesis wasn’t happy at all. Her face contorted into a frown as she reached for it. “No, no, no,” she blabbed.

  “Right. No, no, no,” Jazmin scolded. “You can’t be playing with people’s phones—Whose phone is this anyway?” She looked at the display and was shocked. Her mouth dropped open.

  Angered, she bellowed, “Jah! What the fuck is this?”

  Genesis giggled, “Fuh-ck!”

  “What the fuck is what?” Jah asked from the sofa. “Why you yellin’ and shit? Got Genni cussin’.”

  Jazmin’s outburst got Cassie’s attention. She immediately recognized the phone in her hand as Rock’s. “That’s Rock’s phone, not Jah’s. You took it from Genni right?”

  “Here, give it to me,” Rock said casually. He reached out for it hoping Jazmin’s reaction wouldn’t pique Cassie’s interest. He was sure what Jazmin saw on it wouldn’t be something Cassie would appreciate.

  Cassie snatched the phone from Jazmin’s grip and stared at it. She looked up at Rock with disbelief and disappointment. “Really Rock? And why the fuck ain’t your phone locked?”

  “Fuh-ck!” Genesis giggled again.

  “Ay, I be tellin’ ya’ll don’t let Genni get ahold of ya’ll phone. I don’t know what the hell her lil ass be doing, but she can unlock a phone bruh. She be on some abracadabra shit,” Jah said.

  Cassie was beyond pissed. She cut her narrowed eyes toward Rock. All he could do was return with a goofy crooked grin. This shit wasn’t funny to her. If he kept this kind of thing up, they would never get anywhere.

  “Give me my phone,” Rock said reaching out for it again.

  “So is this what you doing now, Rodney?” she asked.

  “Man, go head on with that,” Rock dismissed nonchalantly. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain Cassie’s tantrum.

  “For real?” she asked, feeling a bit slighted. “So it’s okay for other bitches to send you pussy pics?”

  “I didn’t say it was okay. But shit, I can’t help that they be sending me that shit. I don’t be asking for it,” he mumbled. He tried to turn his attention back to the television. Getting the phone back wasn’t going to happen on his time. What was the use in trying to get it from her?

  “And then this pussy look raggedy.” She wore a disgusted contemptuous snarl. “Bitch shit look like roast beef. Arby’s pussy looking bitch.”

  “Shit…Ain’t nothing wrong with Arby’s. Get some of that Arby sauce and put that shit on there. Good than a mothafucka. Eat it right on up!” Jah said with hilarity. Him and Rock shared laughter in the humorous moment. He continued, “Fuck you talkin’ bout. Juicy serve me Arby’s every night. Ain’t that right baby?”

  Jazmin’s mouth dropped open and her face flushed with embarrassment. “Jah! My vagina don’t look like roast beef.”

  “You don’t be down there, I do,” he joked.

  Ignoring Jah and Jazmin, Cassie glared at Rock. “Oh you think it’s funny?”

  Rock waved her off, dismissing her once again.

  Jazmin was saying, “No Jah. That right there wasn’t very appealing. Rock, tell whoeve
r that is not to ever send out any more pics of her private parts. Or if she must, tell her she need to ask one of her friends to borrow a picture of theirs.”

  Rock chuckled, “I see Jah rubbing off on your ass.”

  Jah started laughing. “Let me see.”

  Cassie stepped closer with the phone facing forward.

  “What the fuck!” Jah exclaimed. He turned to Rock. “Nigga!”

  Genni said, “Fuh-ck nic-ca.”

  Jazmin gave Genesis a look that only made her giggle. She said it again, “Fuh-ck.”

  “See, ya’ll got my baby cussing,” Jazmin said. “C’mon let’s go check on your brother.”

  As Jazmin left with Genesis scurrying behind her, Jah’s face contorted into disgust. He said, “That shit look like it need to be upside down in a mothafuckin’ cave some goddamn where. Ol’ wolf bat looking ass pussy. Shit look like it’ll bite and give a mothafucka rabies. Nigga, please tell me you ain’t hittin’ that.”

  Jah’s comment only added more to Cassie’s displeased attitude. She tossed the phone at Rock hoping to knock him in the head in the process. “And this why I can’t take you fucking serious.”

  Cassie stormed out of the den heading to the front of the house. Rock called out, “Where you going?”

  “Call wolf bat pussy and ask her where she going!” she called over her shoulder.

  Rock groaned. He knew he had to go after her, but he just wasn’t in the mood. Besides, they can say what they want, he was trying to see what “wolf bat pussy” was talking about.

  _____

  Once Cassie got outside, she regretted not driving her own car so that she could leave when she was ready. Maybe she could ask Jazmin to take her home, because how she felt in the moment, she didn’t want to be alone with Rock. She didn’t trust herself. She was sure she would have him beaten and bruised by the time he pulled up to her apartment building.

  Fuming, Cassie stood at the bottom porch step as a bronze SUV swung into the driveway. She kept her eyes on the driver side door wondering who was about to get out. Just then, Rock came out onto the porch.

  “Man, why you always trippin’ like that Cass?” Rock asked.

  Still waiting on the person to exit the SUV, Cassie absently replied, “All you ever do is embarrass me.”

  “How the fuck I do that? You the one showing people my shit,” he argued.

  “Jazmin saw it on her own, dumb ass,” she said with an attitude.

  “And then yo ass showed Jah.”

  She finally turned to face him. “Who is that anyway? Is that one of your new lil girlfriends?”

  “I ain’t got no girlfriends,” he retorted.

  She squinted her eyes at him wishing she could give off lasers that would blow him up. Angered, she said, “So I ain’t your girlfriend now.”

  Rock shrugged aggravating her vexation.

  Annoyed with his behavior, Cassie had momentarily abandon her fixation on the SUV. Hearing the door shut, she looked back in the direction of the SUV.

  Rock looked up too. “What’s up nigga?”

  Eli shook his head as if to say “nothing”. Cassie was oblivious to the dismal state he was in and said, “Hey.”

  Instead of returning the pleasantries, Eli turned up his nose. “Damn, do you ever go home? Have you moved in?”

  “You always gotta be a smart ass,” Cassie said with a roll of her eyes. She looked toward his SUV. “And why you gotta copy Jah? What happened to the Escalade?”

  Eli replied, “How am I copying Jah? Mine is bought and Jah’s is being bought. Jah’s a fifteen and mine is a sixteen. When was the last time you got your vision checked cause anybody can see that mine is bronze and his is black…well not anybody. Lovely might not be able to. Not at night anyway.”

  “Whatever,” Cassie said playfully. She watched him as he passed by to enter the house. It was then that she noticed, Eli wasn’t his usual vibrant self.

  When he disappeared, Cassie realized Rock was staring at her hard. “What?” she asked.

  “You paying attention to what that nigga driving?”

  Cassie let out a sarcastic laugh. “Are you serious right now? You got a bitch’s whole pussy in your phone and you worried about me making an innocent observation?”

  “Whatever Cass,” Rock dismissed. “I’m ready to go.”

  “I ain’t going with you,” she said with defiance. “I’ll get Jazz to take me home. Fuck you.”

  “You a mean lil ass. I swear.” He brushed by her, purposely making their bodies touch.

  For a split second, Cassie reconsidered. She played out the night in her head. He would take her home. They would sit in the car arguing for about thirty minutes. He would shut down. She would get out slamming the door. He would follow her to her apartment door just to scold her about slamming his damn door. She would let herself in and he would follow. They would argue some more. They would calm down. He would apologize and make an empty promise to return. She would go to bed alone. Again.

  “Go see about rotten pussy,” she yelled at him.

  Before hopping into his car, Rock laughed mockingly. “I might just do that.”

  “That’s okay,” she spoke out loud as the car’s engine revved to life. “I got something for your ass.”

  Rock sat in the car staring at her. She always wanted to make things so difficult. Normally, he would let her stubborn ass be Jazmin and Jah’s problem, but he didn’t like how Cassie was looking at Eli. Of course he shouldn’t be worried about a soft ass nigga like Eli, but he didn’t put anything past anybody.

  He opened the door to lean out. He yelled to her, “C’mon man! Stop fucking playing and bring yo ass on!”

  She seemed hesitant at first. Still glowering she raised her finger as if to ask for a second. She disappeared back into the house. Seconds later she was coming back with her purse.

  “That’s what I thought nigga.” Rock cut his eyes at her as he put the car in reverse.

  “Oh shut up,” she said rolling her eyes. “The only reason I’m going with you is because Jah was probably going to bitch about Jazmin bringing me home at night and his ass wasn’t going to do it.”

  “You had to go in there and say bye to your boyfriend, didn’t you,” he mocked.

  Cassie waved him off. She wasn’t in the mood for his insecurities. She had enough of her own to deal with. “Don’t try to redirect made-up guilt on me because you got caught with a pussy in your phone.”

  “I don’t even know who the fuck that is. It was probably sent to my number by mistake.”

  “Sure Rock,” she said with skepticism. “But what I’m supposed to care for. I ain’t your girlfriend, right? So what would it matter if I did say bye to another nigga? Right?”

  Rock scoffed with a slight chuckle. He said under his breath in a playful, but serious manner, “Yo ass got fuckin’ jokes.”

  “Yep, jokes for days,” she said with nonchalance as she directed her focus out the window.

  Twenty minutes later, things went as she predicted, except for him making empty promises to return. He decided to stay a little while to make up for the mysterious wolf bat pussy that showed up in his phone. And since Cassie had her apartment to herself, they both knew what time it was. They wasted no time heading to her bedroom to relieve some tension. They went at it.

  She needed Rock to fuck her good; cause her pain. She needed that unbearable pleasure brought on by the pain that was able to bring about a powerful orgasm; and, if he jabbed the right spot, she could squirt. That kind of sex was exciting and invigorating. Not many men had mastered that skill with her. Only one, an older man, had ever brought about that kind of pleasure to her. She longed for it, but no matter how much she tried to teach men that came after him, they just never got it. They were not a master; they were not her Maestro.

  Her moans were loud and whimperish. She threw it back against him, hoping to encourage him to go harder and faster.

  It wasn’t working.

  Her aggrava
tion manifested quickly. She was done. But he wasn’t. He hadn’t even busted a nut.

  Agitated and no longer into it, she blew a frustrated breath, “Can you hurry up?”

  Rock continued to pound her, but it didn’t feel the same for her anymore. She felt detached; no longer aroused. She soon began to dry up. Rock could tell, so he proceeded to spit on her.

  “No!” she objected. “Don’t fuckin’ spit on me.”

  Clearly irritated he sneered, “What the fuck is your problem?”

  “Get off me; I’m done,” she replied hatefully.

  “This the shit I’m talking about Cass!”

  She just stared up at him blinking her eyes. His face turned into a scowl. She knew he hated her in the moment. He looked so annoyed and vexed with her. She could even feel his condom-wrapped dick deflating inside of her. She helped him out by scooting away from under him. She scooped up her panties. Without looking back, she quickly made her way to her bathroom.

  She couldn’t explain why she behaved like that. She couldn’t explain her mood swings and irritability. She wanted to believe it was because he was unable to completely take her there sexually. However, it could be other things, such as stress.

  After cleaning herself, she proceeded to slip her panties back on.

  Walking out of the bathroom, she saw that Rock was fully dressed and glaring at her. He didn’t bother to speak of his departure. He just kept moving towards the bedroom door.

  She followed behind him. “Where you going?”

  Before he answered, she heard thumping and loud moaning. She rolled her eyes and let her shoulders drop. Her new roommate, her mother, was home. Cassie had no idea when Colette had arrived, but she sure didn’t waste any time entertaining whomever she brought back to the apartment.

  Rock shook his head as if to the situation was unbelievable.

  Cassie repeated the question. "Where you rushing off to?"

  Rock said, “Out of here. Ain’t nobody got time for your shit Cassie. Your ass got some serious issues.”

  She couldn’t argue with him there. She had to ask though. “You going to Melody’s or Jerrica’s?”