If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

  “Yeah,” Cassie said with contrite.

  “So all this time?”

  “Pretty much,” Cassie answered with a hint of shame.

  A grin spread across Jazmin’s face. “Never would have thought…well…until Jah said something to me at the party. He said he had a feeling ya’ll were messing around.”

  “Jah thought we were messing around for real?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah,” Jazmin said. “But you’re about to have a baby with my cousin. This is gonna be so weird but great.”

  Cassie smiled. “You’re so silly.”

  They heard heavy shuffling coming towards them. They both turned their heads in the direction it was coming from. Tanya was yawning. “How come ain’t nobody woke me up and told me to take my fat ass home?”

  Jazmin’s face scrunched up in surprise. “You’ve been here all this time?”

  “Yeah, what ya’ll doing? What time is it?” she asked.

  Jazmin looked at Cassie and laughed. “She slept through all of that?”

  “Through what?” Tanya asked looking between Jazmin and Cassie.

  “Nothing,” Cassie laughed.

  Tanya looked on the floor at the shattered vase. Then she paused and could hear Kris and Eli still going back and forth. She heard Jah and Rock talking from the kitchen. She furrowed her brow with question. “What the hell I miss?”

  Chapter 20

  For it to have been such a nice sunny beautiful day on Father’s Day, the following Monday was complete opposite. Where did the dark clouds come from?

  Cassie could hear the thunder as she stirred out of her sleep. It sounded as if it was really going to storm. She thought, it couldn’t be any worse than the night before though. The events replayed in her head.

  Eventually, Eli left with a quick bye. Kris trailed behind him pointing out all of the reasons their marriage should come before Cassie and her baby. Tanya kept asking, “Who she talking about? What baby?”

  Then Rock, still glaring at Cassie and upset that his head had been busted, left. Tanya asked, “Who busted him upside the head?”

  Jah fussed at Cassie and made her redress the bed in the guest room. She didn’t mind. He told her to take the other bedding with her since she christened it. Tanya asked, “Why he got you doing that?”

  Cassie just laughed through it all while Jazmin tried to give Tanya a play by play. Jah got irritated all over again and took his son from Jazmin to feed him.

  She was somewhat looking forward to getting to the office. She wanted to see Eli to make sure he was okay. She kept thinking that he would reach out to her by text or something, but he didn’t. She said she wouldn’t bother him because he and Kris were probably still going at it.

  Cassie got up and got dressed for work. She purposely selected something bright because it was what Eli liked on her. She had to admit, his advice on the clothes she should wear did do something to boost her confidence. Normally she would wear something dark never realizing she was subconsciously detracting from herself. Now she wore colors and patterns that demanded attention.

  As she slipped on her heels, she could hear thumping and moaning coming from Colette’s room. She rolled her eyes. She wished that woman would leave. And she still hadn’t bother to get an abortion.

  Cassie grabbed her purse and headed out of her bedroom. She threw her purse over the dinette's chair upon passing and walked into the kitchen to grab her individual bottle of orange juice like she did most mornings.

  She heard Colette’s door open. Colette’s voice yelled, “You ain’t shit, you know that!”

  As Cassie stepped out of her kitchen space, the sight of Rock’s smug expression greeted her. She froze trying to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was seeing: a bandaged-head Rock in his boxers making his way to her kitchen.

  Before she could question anything, Rock said, “Yeah, I’m on some shit too. You can call me yo stepdaddy. I might be your little brother or sister daddy.”

  Cassie blacked out in a rage. She threw her juice at him first then pounced on him. “You dirty mothafucka!” She hit on him every where she could. She even went for the bandage to bust his wound open. She kicked, scratched, slapped, punched, and spit on him.

  Colette ran into the open living room area to pull Cassie off of Rock. Cassie turned around and gave Colette the same treatment.

  “Get out bitch! You dirty sleazy slutty no good ass bitch!” Cassie spat as she slung Colette towards the door. “I hate you and don’t you ever come near me again. And Rock! You’re fucking dead to me. You’re the fucking scum of the mothafuckin’ earth! Get out!”

  When Rock didn’t move fast enough, Cassie went to attack him again. He pushed her causing her to stumble backwards. It didn’t phase her. Her five foot two inch frame bounced right back up and grabbed the floral arrangement on her dinette table and hurled it at him. It brazed him, but he managed to get out of the way before it shattered.

  She yelled at the top of her lungs. “Get out! Get out, now! And take your slutty ass cum bucket with you.”

  She stormed to Colette’s room. She first went to the window to open it. She then started grabbing any and everything in sight that she could get her hands on to toss out.

  “Hold up. Let me get my clothes,” Rock said hurrying into the room. He looked around for his jeans. “I know you ain't throw my shit out there.”

  Cassie continued tossing things out the window while Colette and Rock were trying to scramble for their clothes to get dressed.

  Colette tried to stop her. “Cassie, we can talk this out.”

  Cassie ignored her. She looked at Rock. “You have five seconds to get out.”

  “We even now Cassie,” Rock said in a righteous tone.

  Cassie stormed to her kitchen and pulled out a large carving knife and lunged at him.

  Rock managed to get out of the way. He mocked her, “I knew your ass was crazy.”

  Colette got in between holding her hand out towards Cassie. “You don’t want to stab him Cassie. He ain’t worth it. He ain’t never been worth it and I was so glad you moved on from him. He ain’t shit Cassie. I mean, I know I ain’t shit. That’s already been established. But if he was willing to fuck your mama, then he would have fucked you over in so many other ways. You can do way better than him. But don’t get no damn charges over this nigga.”

  Cassie lowered the knife. She was still raging inside. “Get out!”

  Five minutes later, Cassie was alone. She placed the knife back in the kitchen. She suddenly got nauseated, and started dry heaving in the sink. The force of her gagging caused tears to form. Once they started, she fell to the floor and started sobbing. She beat the floor and whipped her body back and forth as she had an emotional tantrum.

  After about ten minutes of just sitting on the floor, she managed to get up and go to her bedroom. She didn’t bother undressing. She got in her bed and pulled the covers over her. She shut the world out.

  _____

  It was the middle of the day, when Cassie decided to get out of bed. It was pouring rain outside and the thunder boomed across the sky.

  She went to the living room to find her phone. She retrieved it from her purse. She had so many missed calls, too many texts, and several voicemail messages. She didn’t care who they all were from. She wondered who had been at her door the few times she stirred in her sleep. She heard the knocks but she ignored them.

  If Rock wanted to hurt her and get even, he definitely achieved that. She wondered if he mentioned that he could be Colette’s unborn baby’s daddy just to add more salt to her wound. And if it was the truth, then that meant he had been sleeping with Colette for a while to be a possible father. Then it dawned on her...Colette was wolf bat Arby's pussy. Mortified , she cringed with repulsion.

  Her phone started going off again. She looked at it and saw that it was Tanya. She ignored it. She cleaned up her kitchen and straightened up her table and chairs that were knocked over during their scuffle.


  She needed to get out of the apartment. She decided to change into something more comfortable: a plain v-neck tee with black leggings. She slipped on her black Vans. She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail, grabbed her phone, purse, keys, an umbrella, and headed out to her car.

  She really didn’t have a destination in mind, but she felt like she needed to get out and go somewhere. Her phone continued to buzz and beep.

  She ended up outside of the Stephenson & Reagan Law Firm building. She had second thoughts about going in, but since she had drove the distance there, she might as well go inside.

  When she went in she immediately sensed that this place was loaded with money. The inside of the building looked like a luxurious hotel. It was just as posh as BevyCo and she knew their asses had plenty of money.

  Straight ahead was the double glass doors with the Stephenson & Reagan logo on it. She passed the elevators and went straight into the suite. The receptionist smiled, but Cassie could sense she was leery of her presence.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I’m here to see Charles Stephenson,” Cassie said.

  “Is he expecting you?”

  Cassie shook her head.

  “Well, he doesn’t take walk-ins. You have to make an appointment. I’ll be glad to set that up with—”

  “I ain’t here for that. I’m his daughter,” Cassie said evenly.

  The receptionist was taken aback. She produced another leery smile. “Oh. Okay. I’ll call him right now.”

  Cassie turned around while the lady spoke on the phone. She could hear the uncertainty in the lady’s voice when she said, “Ugh…there’s a lady here to see you…She says she’s your daughter…I…uh…What’s your name sweetie?”

  Cassie turned to her. “It’s Cassie.”

  Before the lady could repeat it, he must have said something on the other line. She replied in a chipper tone. “Okay…Okay. Sure.”

  She hung up and said, “He said wait right here and he’ll be here shortly.”

  A few minutes later, Charles was coming around the corner. He greeted Cassie with a warm smile and a hug which was surprising. She didn’t think he would show her any affection at his workplace.

  “It’s nice to see you,” he said. “What brings you here?”

  Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  It was then that Charles saw that she was distraught and had been crying. “Well, let’s go to my office.”

  She followed him, bypassing other offices and cubicles. He spoke to a few people as they journeyed to his office. Much like Eli’s office, Charles’ was enclosed by glass walls too. He had a big executive desk and nice decor. Photos of his white wife and their mulatto kids were perched here and there.

  “Can I get you anything?” he asked.

  Cassie shook her head as she sat in one of his chairs. She asked, “What kind of law do you practice here?”

  “Mainly corporate,” he answered.

  “So if I needed to kill somebody, you wouldn’t be able to defend me?” she asked seriously.

  Charles chuckled. “I know some good criminal defense lawyers. Who exactly are you trying to kill?”

  Since he had a sense of humor, it allowed Cassie to be at ease. She relaxed a little. She said, “I wanna kill Colette. She is the absolute worse. I just found out today that she’s been sleeping with my ex. She tried to sleep with my sister’s husband too. But what makes it so bad is that they were in my apartment.”

  Charles winced. “Ooh…That’s awful. I see Colette hasn’t changed much.”

  “How did you end up with her?” Cassie asked.

  He gave it some thought before answering. “Well…let’s just say, I indulged in activities outside of my marriage that I shouldn’t have been doing in the first place. I was foolish and let lust get the best of me. And that’s how you got here.”

  “But she slept around so much, how did you know I was actually yours?”

  “I could see it then like I can see it now. But we got tested and I agreed to take care of you but from a distance. When she tried to get me to take you and I couldn’t that’s when she turned into a witch. So she tried to cut me off completely unless it was to benefit her. And by then she had so much over me that if I didn’t comply she would run her mouth.”

  “She’s just low down.”

  “So are you trying to kill just her or kill them both?” he laughed.

  As they talked more and more, Cassie realized Charles wasn’t such a bad guy. He had a soft amiable personality. She just couldn’t understand how someone like him could get caught up with Colette.

  He canceled all of his appointments and took the day off. He and Cassie went out for lunch where they continued to talk. Brenda, his wife, had recently died of pancreatic cancer. He told her siblings about her and they were looking forward to meeting her. His mother also wanted to meet her. He was delighted about her news of pregnancy, although he was already the grandfather to four.

  Visiting with him lifted her spirits, and despite the weather, it brightened her day.

  She went to the mall later that day, perusing through all of the babies’ and children’s stores. All the while, she still continued to ignore her phone. At one point she had powered it off. She just needed to clear her head although she really wanted to talk to Eli. When she scanned the missed calls, voicemails, and texts, none of them were from him. If she couldn’t hear from him, she really didn’t want to be bothered with anyone else.

  When she got back to her apartment, she decided to call Eli. All of this stubbornness had to stop. She dialed him but it went straight to voicemail, which put her in a deeper depressed mood.

  She was in her living room watching tv when her front door opened. The only person who had a spare key to her apartment was Romyn.

  Once a frantic Romyn came into view, he said, “Where have you been? Your friends have been trying to get in touch with you. Tanya finally got in touch with me and I’ve been calling and calling.”

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “It’s your baby daddy,” Romyn said. “That wife of his stabbed him last night.”

  “What!”

  _____

  Cassie was so mad at herself for being all in her feelings and not answering her phone. After Romyn told her the news, she jumped up, grabbed her purse, keys, phone, and ran out the apartment with him. She started going through her phone and realized everybody was trying to get in contact with her. Tanya, Jazmin, and Romyn had left several frantic voicemails and text messages. Even Jah’s non-spelling behind sent her a few text messages cussing her out for not answering the phone.

  Romyn drove her to Vanderbilt. He didn’t know Eli’s condition so he couldn’t update her. She called Tanya first but she didn’t answer. She tried Jazmin.

  “Oh my God! Cassie, where have you been?” Jazmin screamed into the phone. “That crazy bitch stabbed Eli!”

  “What happened?” Cassie asked.

  “She flipped out because he said he was done with her; and he told her period, point, blank, that he wanted you. According to what Bryce and Bria said, they were arguing to the point it woke them up. The twins don’t play when it comes to their daddy. Bria called the police so they could remove Kris from the house. She got that shit from her daddy. They still went to be nosy. Bria said when they got to the kitchen, Eli turned to them to tell them to go back to bed and that’s when Kris stabbed him in the back. They said she drew it back and stabbed him again. Eli was able to turn around and prevent her from retracting the knife and stabbing him a third time but by then they said he kinda went down but told them to call 911. Thank God Bria had already called the police. Kris realized what she had done and ran.”

  “Oh my God,” Cassie was stunned. “Is Eli…is he…Where is Eli?”

  “He ain’t dead Cassie,” Jazmin reassured. “They had to do emergency surgery. It was like his side and back. She messed up one of his kidneys, but they were able to repair it. He’s in the trauma intensive care un
it for now.”

  “What floor?” Cassie’s heart was beating profoundly.

  “Come to the tenth floor family waiting room,” Jazmin told her.

  “Okay,” Cassie said and ended the call.

  Cassie became nervous and the thought of losing Eli had her emotional. After Romyn parked and they got out, Cassie remained quiet. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. So much had happened in just two days. She didn’t think she could take much more.

  Arriving on the tenth floor, they went up to the unit’s nursing station. They were given visitors passes and instructed to go to the family waiting area.

  “Cassie,” Jazmin called out. “You got here fast.”

  “We were already on our way,” Romyn said.

  “Heifa, I tried to call you,” Tanya grumbled.

  “I know,” Cassie said. “I was kinda going through something.”

  They looked up as a very pretty, very pregnant Lovely came in the room followed by Luciano Pavoni and his wife Cece. Right behind them was the tall slender built and beautiful Grace. Her hair reached the jut of her ass. She explained to Cassie and Tanya once, that she was growing her hair so long to only cut it and donate it to Locks of Love to make wigs for kids with medical conditions, such as cancer.

  “Ya’ll, we’re going home,” Lovely announced. “That crazy boy won’t stop talking. He’s okay and he should be going to the step-down unit tomorrow.”

  “Hello Cassie,” Lu said with a smile.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Cassie’s here?” Lovely asked turning in the direction of her voice. “Cassie, if you don’t hurry your tail in that boy’s room. He’s been asking for you all day. I think he was out of it maybe an hour after surgery, but he’s been up since asking about you.”

  “He has?” Cassie asked as if it was unbelievable.

  “Yes,” the majority of them answered all at once.

  “The only person in his room right now is Lulu,” Lovely said. She turned to her daughter. “And please don’t drive crazy when you bring her home.”