Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2

by Shelley Munro

“We have a second chance,” he said. “Most people don’t get this opportunity, and we shouldn’t waste it.”

  Chapter Seven

  A new tension slithered through Julia’s veins now. Ten at night, and she and Ryan had arrived back at her apartment a few minutes ago. They’d stopped at the flat Ryan and Caleb shared in order for Ryan to pick up some of his gear. Now that the door closed behind them, her apartment seemed too intimate. Ryan’s scent ghosted around her, enticing and seductive. He took up space, the air in her kitchen.

  “I’m knackered,” he said, holding his hands in the small of his back and leaning back. “I swear the painting prep was more exhausting than anything I’ve done this year.”

  “You’ve used different muscles. Go and have a hot bath while I clear the spare room for you. The bathroom is down the passage on the right.”

  “No, I’ll help.”

  “Go and have a bath.” Sharp and terse. She bit her lip at the appearance of Bitch Julia. Consciously lowering her voice, she tried again. “If you use the bathroom first then I can jump into the shower straight away.”

  He nodded, his sexy lips perking up into the beginnings of a smile. “You’ve seen me naked before.”

  “Bathroom.” The sudden need to laugh tugged at her, and she pointed. “Go.” To her relief, he went and she waited until his footsteps faded before she sagged against the kitchen counter. She didn’t know how he did it. Yesterday morning she’d been so certain she wanted a divorce. Ryan was muddying her thoughts, confusing her. Now she didn’t know what she wanted, what to do for the best. He’d sounded sincere about the photos—she didn’t think he was lying.

  With a sigh, she strode down the passage, paused to grab clean linen, and continued to her spare bedroom. He was splashing around in the water already, his husky voice singing a classic Jackson song. She smiled before she could stop herself. Heck, why didn’t she just admit the truth? In two days he’d managed to charm her all over again. She didn’t stand a chance.

  Julia finished making the bed for Ryan and cleared away some of the surface clutter that had encroached into her guest room. Once she was satisfied, she went to her own room, collected her robe and paused. She sank onto her bed. No, as weak as she was feeling now, it wasn’t a good idea to walk into the bathroom and jump into the shower with Ryan still lolling about in the bath.

  So she sat there, waiting and trying not to think about the beads of water covering his chest, trying not to listen to the husky ballad he was singing—something she hadn’t heard before but one that echoed the need stirring inside her now. The singing coming from the bathroom trailed off.

  She froze, sucking in a breath when she heard the water gurgle down the drain. Then her imagination turned redcoat. A vision of his broad shoulders filled her mind as she conjured details from the past. His trim waist and hips. His sexy tattoo. His muscles flexing with each rub of the towel along his limbs. One of her towels. A low-level buzz bloomed in her sex. A pithy curse escaped, and she leaped to her feet. The movement made her conscious of the way her clothes clung to her skin, the lace of her bra abrasive against her nipples.

  “Julia, I’m done.”

  “Thank you.” A boon to her sanity. “The room is ready for you.” She opened her door and came face-to-face with him. Her steps faltered. “Good night, Ryan. Thanks for helping me today.”

  “Goodnight, Julia.” He entered the spare bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving her standing in the passage, gaping at the wooden barrier between them.

  Well, what had she expected?

  Yanking from her reverie, she stalked into the bathroom and firmly shut the door. The room was steamy after Ryan’s use, and those ridiculous visions ran through her mind again, springing into sharp relief.

  “Fuck.” She cursed again because it felt good on her tongue. Her mother would likely scold her for the bad language. Susan would for certain, if she’d been present. Julia stripped off her clothes and jumped under the water. It was only lukewarm and should have dampened the desire streaking through her veins. But the temperature heated all too quickly.

  “Heck,” she muttered.

  She grabbed her scented gel and applied it liberally with rough, scrubbing motions of her shower buddy. Maybe she could rub out her desire. Didn’t happen. On completing the brisk wash, every inch of her skin tingled. She shut the water off and toweled dry. In her bedroom, she smoothed chocolate body butter on her limbs.

  Her body revved up again, her skin prickling all over. Damn it all. She slapped on the last of the lotion, switched off the light and jumped into bed. This fantasizing—it had to stop. It wasn’t smart, even if it was grown-up!

  Julia closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.

  A shout woke her. High and terrified, it seemed to hang in the air. Her heart raced and a ripple of goose flesh rose on her arms and legs. She half sat, unsure if she’d had a bad dream or if it was something else.

  Another low cry sounded, and she jumped off the bed. She switched on her light and was through the door, standing before the doorway of her spare room in seconds flat. A third cry propelled her forward. She opened the door and rushed to the bed. The light from her room allowed her to make out his form. Ryan was still asleep, but he was twisting and turning, moaning in the throes of a dream.

  “Ryan, wake up. Ryan.” Gingerly, she reached for his arm. “Ryan.”

  His eyes snapped open, wide and unfocused. “Julia?”

  “Yes, you were shouting. A bad dream?”

  “Yeah.” He sat up with a grunt and swiped his hand across his face. “Thanks. I’m sorry I woke you.”

  Julia stood, trying to keep her gaze off his bare chest, his dragon tattoo. She ignored the urge nipping her heels, the one telling her to slide right into bed with him. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.” Like a coward, she fled back to her room. She slid beneath the sheets, her mind too busy to rest.

  Seconds later, she heard the pad of footsteps.

  “Hey, Julia. I can’t sleep. I thought I’d make some hot chocolate, if you have some.”

  “I’ll get it for you.” She started to get out of bed again.

  “No.” He stayed her with a stop gesture. “I’ll make it.” He was gone before she could argue. After debating following him she slumped against her pillow. No, that would be plain silly, and she’d already reached her stupidity quotient today.

  She reached for her handbag and retrieved her list. With a pen in hand, she checked through each item and crossed out two.

  Ryan appeared in the doorway. “Julia, I made one for you since you’re awake too.” He handed her a cup, the rich scent of chocolate wafting to her. He’d dropped four marshmallows in the top and they’d already partially melted.

  Instead of leaving, he perched on the end of her bed. He was wearing black boxer-briefs and nothing else. The man sure looked good, albeit a bit on the skinny side.

  “Don’t get cold.” Grief, she sounded like a mother. Unfamiliar heat swept into her cheeks, and she hastily focused on her hot chocolate. “There’s something wrong with me.” The words came out unbidden, and once she’d uttered them, she couldn’t take them back.

  “Oh? Are you sick?”

  She half-laughed. “No, it’s you. When I look at you I get inappropriate feelings.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” His brows winged toward his hairline. “Have you turned to religion?”

  “No! Not that there’s anything wrong with religion. I—you put me off balance. I can’t think straight.”

  His charm came to the fore in a dazzling smile, and she gulped. She had no defenses against him when he applied his flirtation. It reached the point where she couldn’t make proper decisions. No, that wasn’t quite right. She arrived at conclusions, but her instincts steered her wrong.

  “That’s not inappropriate,” he said. “I enjoy spending time with you.”

  “But that’s the problem,” she almost wailed. “We can’t be together every day. B
ecause of your job you need to travel overseas. Now that I’m helping Mum with the club, I have even more reason to stay in Auckland. I—what happens if I need you or you need me, and we’re in different countries?”

  “Other people manage long-distant relationships,” Ryan said. “Can I get under the covers? It’s getting cold.” He pulled back the duvet and slid into her bed before a refusal was born, let alone passed her lips.

  She gave an exasperated huff. “Don’t mind me.” She drank the last of her chocolate and set her cup aside.

  “We can work out something,” Ryan said.

  “Things didn’t work for us last time. I don’t want to go through that hell again.”

  Ryan put his cup down and turned to her. “I’m sorry. I know the last months can’t have been easy for you. No one could have predicted I’d get mugged and lose my memory.”

  Julia struggled to find the right words to explain her inner conflict. “It’s not going to be as easy as you say. Seeing photos of you with other women brings back things I’d rather forget. I thought I had a handle on the past, but bad memories keep interfering. It’s not fair to you. I know that, but…it just happens.”

  “But you’re willing to try. There’s something special between us. You’ve said you react to my charm.”

  “I don’t know what to do.” A yawn took her by surprise. “I’m tired. I need some sleep otherwise I’ll never get everything done before we reopen.”

  “Can I stay here?”

  “We’re not having sex.”

  This time he didn’t flash a grin in her direction. “I don’t want to have another bad dream.”

  Julia yawned again, too tired to argue. “All right.” After he’d settled, she turned off the light. For a while she was overly conscious of his body warmth and held her muscles tense. When he merely let out a long breath and lay on his side, she turned in the opposite direction and firmly closed her eyes.

  The alarm went off at six-thirty, and Julia smacked at it with an uncoordinated hand. The beeps cut off abruptly. Supremely warm and comfortable, she didn’t want to move.

  A hand curled around her hip, and a kiss landed on her bared neck. “I like waking up this way.”

  Oops, awake now. She did too but wasn’t about to admit it. Dangerous territory. “I need to get moving.”

  “Give me a kiss good morning.”

  “Morning breath,” she muttered.

  “Can I feel you up instead?”

  She spluttered out a laugh. “No.”

  “Damn, you’re no fun.”

  Julia sprang out of bed before she weakened. “Do you want coffee?”

  “Is the pope Catholic?”

  “Why yes. I believe he is.”

  She pulled on a comfy pair of sweats, and after hesitating, removed her sleep shirt and replaced it with a T-shirt. Out in the kitchen, she made a quick call to check on her mother and started the coffee. The coffeemaker was soon gurgling, and she stopped to wonder if she’d made a mistake in sharing her bed. No, she decided. She’d slept better than she had in months. While she waited for the coffee, she went through some of her morning stretch routine.

  Ryan joined her in the kitchen. Without asking, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, tugging her against his chest.

  “I thought we were confining ourselves to friends-only,” she said.

  “Nope, I never agreed to that. This is wooing, baby. I intend to persuade you to my way of thinking.”

  “Do you have any suggestions for promo for the club?” Not the smoothest change of subject, but she’d run with it. “I need to finalize everything this week and get moving on the advertising.”

  “Coward.”

  “I’m in work-mode now,” Julia said. “That’s got to be my focus.”

  His blue eyes narrowed a fraction. “I’m up for the task.”

  “I don’t want you to look on me as a challenge. I have to concentrate on Maxwell’s.”

  “Of course you do. I’ve written a theme song for your club. I thought you could play it when you’re introducing dancers or something. Use it as a signal to the audience that something is about to happen.”

  Julia stared at him, warmth twining through her. “You wrote a song for me?”

  “You’re my inspiration. Even when your name escaped me, I dreamed about you. Your face and your pretty blonde hair filled my sleep.” He ran his fingertips over her cheek.

  God, he was so sweet. Unable to think of what to say or to fight her desire any longer, she said, “We’ll have sex. Tonight.”

  Yeah, that would sort out her waffling. A little hot and heavy sex would sort out everything.

  “Gotta go,” she said, not giving him a chance to answer. “I’m going to be in and out of the club today, plus I have the girls coming to practice dance routines.” Finished, she snapped her mouth shut and ran for cover. She felt the weight of his stare as she disappeared back into her bedroom, her heart spooked into erratic beats. Well, she thought on reaching the safety of her bedroom. Nothing like laying down a challenge.

  “I’ve booked a hen’s party for the week after next,” Susan greeted her. “I didn’t think you’d mind if I suggested it to my cousin.”

  “Great!” Julia said. “I guess I should buy a diary to keep track of our bookings.”

  Maggie dragged herself through the door of the club. Her pained gaze swept their faces before settling to glower at Julia. “Tell me you have stiff muscles too.”

  Susan’s groan was heartfelt. “Thank goodness. I thought it was just me. Julia’s not limping one bit, so I was trying to pretend I’m fine. I had to roll out of bed this morning, and it took me five minutes to get moving.”

  Christina walked gingerly through the double doors, wincing with every step, and Julia had trouble restraining her chuckle.

  Julia glanced from one friend to the next. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about sore muscles. I still go to dance classes two or three times a week.”

  “It’s not natural, twisting a body into graceful arcs,” Maggie grumbled. “I had to get Connor to give me a massage—”

  “Don’t rub it in,” Christina said. “Some of us don’t have a handy man.”

  Susan nodded emphatically. “What she said.”

  “It will get better,” Julia promised.

  “We’re holding you to that promise,” Susan said, her expression glum as she attempted a cautious stretch. “But I’m not sure I believe you.”

  “Well, I think she should buy the first round of margaritas when we hit the pub again,” Maggie said.

  Julia grinned at her three friends, so grateful for their support. “Deal.”

  Music started playing—guitar with a faint bluesy tone. A husky voice commenced singing, and Julia froze, memories slipping over her. Good memories, ones of laughter and sensuality. Then the words of the song registered, and her heart did a rapid change up in gear. He’d done this for her.

  “Oh, my god,” Susan shrieked. “A theme song for the club. It’s perfect.”

  “He’s good,” Maggie said.

  “I agree,” Christina said, wincing as she shifted her weight and turned to watch Ryan on the stage. “If the rest of his band is as good as him they won’t be roadies for much longer.”

  Ryan finished his song and everyone broke into applause. Julia swallowed, the emotions booming inside her almost too much to contain.

  He stood and bowed from the waist. “Thank you. Thank you very much,” he said in a corny Elvis impression.

  “Back to work everyone,” Julia said, clapping her hands to hurry them along.

  “I have some suggestions for the costumes,” Christina said, producing a sketchbook from the red tote bag in her left hand. “Do you have time to go over them now?”

  “Sure. My office? I’ll meet you there. I want a quick word with Ryan first,” Julia said.

  “Clock is ticking,” Christina said. “No dilly-dallying with that handsome husband of yours.”

  “I’m the
boss. I can dilly if I want.” Two days ago she would have hotly disputed Christina’s words. Even yesterday, but the wretched man had worked his magic once again. And then, to top things off, he’d managed to seduce her with a special song. She turned her back on her grinning friend and strode toward the stage.

  “What do you think?”

  “I loved it. Thank you. Your song is perfect.”

  “Worth a kiss?” His unrepentant grin had an answering smile tugging at her.

  Her nose lifted into the air. “Maybe.”

  He glanced past her, but Julia didn’t need to turn around to know everyone was watching them. Not when their gazes bored into her back.

  “I’ll record it for you as soon as Caleb gets back from Tauranga. It should be ready for opening night.”

  “Thanks,” she whispered, and because she couldn’t resist, she cupped his upturned face between her hands and kissed him. Gentle and sweet, the physical contact sent longing crawling through her veins. When she pulled back, they stared at each other for a long moment.

  “Tonight?” he asked.

  “Tonight.” Julia turned away because she didn’t trust herself not to touch him again. The guitar started as she hurried to her office. It was something new and foot tapping, a tune to entice her to stay to hear the rest of the song. Unfortunately work and responsibility beckoned. She didn’t search out her friends, keeping her gaze lowered as if she were concentrating on a weighty problem. A sharp snort escaped her. Heck, she wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all her friends. Let the teasing begin.

  When she arrived in her mother’s office, Christina had removed some fabric samples from her tote bag and opened her sketch book.

  “Have you managed to hire any new dancers?”

  Julia scowled at her friend’s opening salvo. “No. Most of the decent ones are working at the club down the road. I talked to my mother earlier. From what she said we’re not likely to find any at present. She’s tried everywhere.”

  “I suspected as much,” Christina said. “I might have a way you can work around a staff shortage. Have you decided whether to stick with stripping or are you going to specialize in burlesque?”