I’M SUCH AN idiot. Lilly Addison sat in the curved booth thigh to thigh with Kade because he’d insisted on it, and she didn’t back away from a challenge. Being the alpha’s mate was a delicate balance of strength and submissiveness. Alphas weren’t interested in women who would cow down to their every desire. They wanted women who were strong, and strong women pushed back. Even though there was nearly a decade between them, Kade had the surety of a man who knew what he liked and didn’t mind working for it. He was confident, and had settled into the maturity of his own personhood. Of course, she’d known him when he was teenager, and then a college student.
She’d struggled with her own identity as a younger woman. Her parents had died in a car accident not long after she’d graduated high school, and she’d been their only child. Her college fund went toward funeral expenses and the towering amount of debt her parents had left behind. Their house barely sold above market value, and she’d found a studio apartment to hole up in while she figured out what to do next. She took a string of low-paying jobs and went through a host of loser boyfriends. After a while, she lost any thought of a better life because every day had been a struggle to pay bills, to move forward. To survive.
She split her time between waitressing and working part-time in an offbeat bookstore near the university. It was there she’d met Professor Addison, who’d encouraged her to go back to school. She had a mind for business, he said, and she should use it. Then he offered to fund her education, and she accepted his generosity because she was tired, so tired, of not having something of her own.
She graduated summa cum laude, and the day after the ceremonies, Saul asked her to marry him. He was in his fifties, a man comfortable with himself and his own habits. He introduced her to the Moon Pack, to the werewolf world, and she’d been fascinated with his dual nature. He wasn’t particularly handsome and certainly not fit, but he was kind. And she’d so badly needed kindness. He knew how to tease a laugh from her. He didn’t mind her flaws, her impulsiveness, and he also didn’t mind she didn’t love him the way he deserved. He understood that and accepted it. He’d been a good man, and while she adored him, he never once caused her heart to flutter—not the way Kade did.
She’d been thirty-one when Saul died of a heart attack. He’d gone to part-time teaching with the goal of retiring at the end of the semester. The construction on Addison Books, their dream together, had just started. She followed through with their plans and opened the bookstore. He’d left her a wealthy woman, but the bookstore gave her purpose. She didn’t dishonor her husband’s memory by falling into workaholic habits. She pampered herself with visits to the spa, she took off on impromptu road trips, she visited museums and whiled away hours at cafes. Saul had taught her many things, but the most important had been about keeping balance.
Except around Kade she didn’t seem to have any.
She let Kade order for her, let him chose the wine, and let him direct the conversation. This evening wasn’t about food or drink or small talk. It was merely prelude to the final step of werewolf marriage—the mating. Her mating experience with Saul had been sweet. She’d heard stories about other matings—ones that left the room with broken furniture and the new mates bloodied. She enjoyed making love to Saul, but it had never been rough, exciting, or overwhelming.
After the salads arrived and Kade drizzled his with an inordinate amount of ranch dressing, she asked, “Who was the girl sinking her claws into you?”
“Her name is Nicole Mills. She’s the only current mating nominee—the one who would’ve been inevitably chosen by pack vote.”
“So, your year was almost up—that’s all they give you right? Twelve months to find your own bride, and then the pack chooses.”
He nodded.
“Cutting it close to the deadline, Kade.”
“I was busy.”
“What made you think of me?”
He carefully put down the fork. His hazel gaze pinned hers. “I’ve thought of you often, Lilly. Ever since I had the privilege of being Saul’s student. I wanted you then. I want you more now.”
The possessive growl in his voice zapped her right to her toes. If she’d had panties on, they would’ve been wet. Instead, the moisture slicked her inner thighs. Whew. Lilly sipped her wine. She’d been attracted to Kade back then, too. But those desires had made her feel ashamed, disloyal. Saul had noticed, and they’d talked through it. Saul believed in communicating, no matter how difficult the topic. It was one of the ways he was more beta than alpha. Afterwards, she’d seduced him to prove that her body and her heart belonged to him—and to him alone.
Now, she was going to mate with Kade, and she knew their relationship would be different. For one, it would have passion. The kind of broken-furniture-bruised-body passion she wanted oh so badly. It surprised her to realize he might be the only other man since Saul’s passing who could keep her attention—and keep her in line.
“What’s the point of this?” she said, waving her hand over the table. “You don’t have to woo me.”
His eyes went wild for a moment, making her heart stutter. She squeezed her thighs together. God, he was so fucking hot.
“Let’s go,” he said his voice a low growl.
Lilly abandoned all pretense of eating and pretending she wanted the wine when all she really wanted was him. She tucked her clutch under her arm. Kade got out of the booth, and she wiggled out behind him, accepting the crook of his arm. He tossed a couple of $100 bills onto the table.
He didn’t speak to her as they went up the narrow staircase that led to the building’s lobby, and then through the double glass doors. He obviously hadn’t used the valet service because he strolled down the block to a parking garage. He entered the walkway and took her up a set of concrete stairs, and then they strode across the mostly empty lot.
“We can pick up your car tomorrow,” he said.
“I took a cab.”
He stopped and stared at her; she stared serenely back.
“You expected us to mate tonight,” he said, the possessiveness in his voice skimmed along her spine, made her muscles contract.
“Yes.”
“You’re gonna be work, aren’t you?” He sounded exactly like Saul had when she’d done something of which he approved. He’d never asked her to control her impulsiveness, only that she either enjoy it or pay the consequence for it. Usually she did both.
Kade threaded his fingers through hers and tugged her forward. They crossed the lot to a lone silver car parked at angle in the corner. She whistled. “Aston Martin. Nice.”
She curled her fingers under the passenger door handle, but he enchained her wrist and gently pulled her away.
“Bend over the hood and flip up your dress.” He let go of her and stepped back.
His rough command made Lilly’s stomach quiver, but she placed her clutch onto the sleek roof and sauntered to the hood. She grabbed the edge of her dress and hiked it above her hips … leaning over until her breasts grazed the smooth surface of the hood.
Her concession to exercise was thirty minutes of yoga in the mornings and walking around her neighborhood in the evenings. She wasn’t one to curb her appetites. If she felt like a Ben & Jerry’s pint at three a.m., she went for it.
Her ass was being assessed at this very moment by Kade. She could almost felt the heat of his stare caress her buttocks. God, she was in so much trouble. As she quivered under his thorough study of her naked backside, she wondered what kind of price she would pay for choosing him.
The anticipation buzzed through her like she’d mainlined caffeine. She fully expected the slap of his hand against her buttock any second, instead she felt him slide a finger into her pussy.
“You’re so wet,” he said thickly. “Move back. Place your palms on the car and lift up that beautiful ass.”
She did as she was told, her body prickling with awareness. He’d barely touched her, and yet she was dripping for him. The thrill of being out in a public place, the
potential to be seen, to get caught, just made her feel even hotter. It appealed to her nature, the spontaneity Kade offered. His domination of her—that was another turn-on.
He smacked her, hard, and the sweet pain of the blow traveled straight to her very core. She wasn’t ashamed of her moan or of the way her thighs quivered. He spanked her again, and she shuddered, her pussy convulsing.
A couple more swats and she would come.
He was breathing hard, his control ragged—she could hear it in his voice, feel it in the trembling fingers her drew across the welts he’d left on her skin.
He reached between her legs and began to rub her clit. His finger worked her as his other hand came down against her quivering ass.
Again.
Again.
Oh, God.
The orgasm burst, a thousand bright sensations overwhelming her. It was as though she’d fallen into the sun. She clutched at the car as she came, moaning as his palm cupped her slick womanhood, soothing her sweetly ravaged flesh.
“Lilly,” he whispered, dropping his head to her spine and shuddering. “Lilly.”
LILLY WASN’T TOO surprised when he drove them to the nearest hotel, a glass-and-chrome multi-story that catered to the business class. He said nothing, but his impatience crackled around him. The elevator ride was short, and then he was dragging her down the hallway and into a suite. She barely had time to register the sunken living room or gleaming bar.
Kade was a man on a mission.
She let him yank her toward the bedroom.
He snapped on one lamp then turned. “Take off the dress,” he said tightly, “leave the heels and jewelry.”
She dropped her clutch and peeled off the dress, kicking it away. Then she took off the bra and let it go. She didn’t think he was embarrassed by his need for her. Or the way he’d given her pleasure in the garage—without taking any for himself. He was amazing. Beautiful.
Hers.
She stood before him, naked and vulnerable. He studied her thoroughly, his eyes dark, his body radiating tension. She felt as though his control might snap, and he’d devour her on the spot. His gaze captured hers. “You’re magnificent.”
She knew he meant it.
She walked toward him, no longer young, no longer thin, no longer cautious. She had her own confidence, her own pride. She’d earned every wrinkle, every scar, and every softened curve.
She pushed off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. She kissed his firm chest, enjoying the ridges of muscles, the smoothness of skin, and the curls of brown hair that coalesced into a point hidden inside those bothersome pants. She unbuckled his belt, and he stepped back so he could divest himself of clothes.
He was gorgeous. He was taller than her by more than six inches, at least. Unlike the Shadow Pack, the Moon Pack didn’t have a thing about hair. The males wore their locks however they wanted, and no one thought a thing about it. Kade wore his on the short side, the top tousled and sexy.
She fanned her fingers over his pectorals, her thumbs brushing his tiny, brown nipples.
“Bed,” he said in a hoarse voice.
She crawled onto the thick, comfortable mattress, and settled onto her backside, her open arms waiting for him.
He crawled on top of her and nuzzled her neck. Then he started his sensual torments on her breasts, plumping her firm C cups before setting to serious work on her nipples. He sucked them until they were hard, aching. While he squeezed one breast and tweaked the nipple, he cupped the other one and suckled the peak.
Then he switched.
Heat coiled between her thighs and soon became throb of need so overwhelming it took her breath away.
She reached between them to stroke his cock, but he demanded, “Hands at your sides. Don’t touch me until I tell you.”
When he talked her like that, she felt like melting into a puddle. No one dared to boss her around, much less someone nine years her junior. But the alpha, oh, he made her tremble.
He drifted down her stomach, kissing the quivering flesh of her soft belly. He lifted her thighs, so they draped his shoulders, and then he gazed at her most intimate feminine part as though he planned to render artwork of it.
Kade proceeded to make her squirm by touching…squeezing…stroking. Her body hummed with need. Desire swept through her, leaving her quaking with expectation, aching for fulfillment. And after he’d made her want him so badly she fucking hurt…
He settled that talented mouth on her sex and brought her to an earth-shattering orgasm.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The frenetic tone issuing from Kade’s cell phone was a splash of cold reality on her hot desire. What the hell?
“Damn.” Kade rolled over and grabbed the phone from the nightstand. “I’m sorry, Lilly. I set the emergency tone for my beta’s texts. He would never interrupt unless it was urgent.”
“Of course.” Lilly melted into the bed. “I’ll just lay here and recover.”
He offered her a toothy grin. “We’ve barely started.” He turned his attention to the phone and read the text message. Whatever he’d read had him growling and heaving himself off the bed. He punched a button and put the phone to his ear.
“What the fuck is going on, Matt?” He listened, his expression getting fiercer and fiercer. “This is bullshit. No, we haven’t mated—and a good thing, too, or this situation would be worse. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there in twenty.”
He ended the call and tossed the phone onto the nightstand. “Nicole has lodged protest against you as my mate.”
“What?” Lilly scrambled to a sitting position. “Why?”
“Because she hates to fucking lose. And she’s a petty, moronic bitch.”
Lilly’s heart turned over in her chest. “It’s a tribunal then?”
“Yes. It convenes in three days.” He growled low in his throat. “Fire Pack, Winter Pack and Earth Pack are sending their alphas.”
“Does she have a chance?”
“She has something,” said Kade, “or she wouldn’t pull this crap.” He looked at her. “You were married to Saul and you still hold esteem in our pack. There’s nothing she can pin on you, right?”
Lilly cast her eyes down and felt her heart skip a beat. It hadn’t mattered when she married Saul because he was a beta. Betas had a little more leeway in choosing mates, even ones the pack might consider flawed. She’d never kept secrets from Saul—but he had kept one for her. She swallowed heavily. “I got pregnant when I was nineteen. It was about a year after my parents died and I was struggling. The boyfriend was a drug addict, an asshole. I didn’t have the mental capacity or the financial stability to raise a child. A very nice couple adopted the baby. Not long after that, I started working toward getting back on my feet—and I met Saul.”
Kade had gone stock still. His gaze bore into her with the same painful accuracy as a newly sharpened drill bit. “You gave up a child.”
“Yes. I wasn’t part of the Moon Pack. Hell, I didn’t know werewolves existed, much less their arcane laws about family.”
“Saul knew?”
“Of course he knew.”
“Damn it! I’m the alpha. You didn’t think it was important to tell me you committed one of the most grievous pack sins? A werewolf who abandons its child is subject to expulsion. In some cases, it merits a death sentence.”
“In case you missed it the first time: I was not a pack member.”
“The tribunal may not judge you for giving up your child—they will take into consideration that you made that choice from a human perspective in a human world. But they will wonder about your commitment to motherhood, to the pack, to me because you were capable of abandoning your baby.”
“I didn’t abandon him! I chose a better life for him.” Lilly scooted off the bed and started throwing on her clothes. “You werewolves! You think it’s better for a mother and child to stay together, even when that’s the worst option for the child. I was young and stupid and terrified. I didn’t know how to take care
of myself, much less the life growing inside me.”
Fury made her hands shake. She was mad at herself for not telling Kade her only secret, and she was mad at him for being such a…a werewolf! “David’s had food, shelter, stability, and love. He has two wonderful parents and a younger adopted sister. He’s in college. He’s dating a beautiful girl. He has a wonderful goddamned life.” She grabbed her clutch. “And I’m not fucking sorry!”
Lilly was startled at the depth of her fury, of her utter disappointment in Kade. She hadn’t expected things to end so abruptly, and she certainly hadn’t expected to feel this sudden bruising of her heart. She stomped across the room, letting her anger propel her away from the alpha.
“Lilly.” Her name sounded like regret.
She paused at the door, and turned to look over her shoulder. Kade’s gaze was filled with pain and longing. It was then she knew that he really wanted her, and he was undone by her secret, what it meant for them. And if, deep down, there was answering cry in her own soul, she pretended not to hear it.
Lilly left as quickly as she could. She kept the tears bottled. No use blubbering when she was the one walking away. When she entered the lobby, she found the concierge waiting for her.
“Your limousine is waiting, Ms. Addison.”
She nodded, as though she had expected it to be so. Well, then. Kade had managed to give her a final kindness.
The limousine driver held the door open for her, and she told him her home address before she slipped into the back seat. She stared sightlessly out the window until she arrived home. The driver declined her tip, and she smiled at him even though her mouth hurt from the effort.
After she shut her own front door behind her, she slid to the floor and sobbed.
THE NEXT DAY, Lilly threw herself into every activity imaginable. Business tasks she usually put off, she dove into with relish. She scheduled meetings with everyone, from the accountant to her manager. She even threw an impulsive after-hours party for the employees as a thank you for their hard work and loyalty.
When she awoke the next morning, she felt restless. She had nothing mind-numbing left to do, so she got into her Mercedes and drove to Hot Springs, Arkansas. She spent the evening in a lovely hotel. She ordered room service and tried to read one of the books she’d brought with her.
The Pack Rules Boxed Set: The Complete Series of Wolf, Bear, and Dragon Shifter Romances Page 54