Wanting So Bad, Loving So Good

by Bella Bentley

  It was pointless going to study group. The entire time, besides avoiding knowing stares from male members in my study group, I was preoccupied with what the night would bring.

  What if my kidney gets cut out?

  What if I’m expected to be a prostitute?

  How did they know my personal information?

  Who are they?

  What are they?

  Finally, the moment of truth came. My heart beat like the loudest drum and I was a bundle of nerves when the limo pulled up outside of my apartment at 11pm.

  I looked left and right to see if anyone saw me. There it was. The moment of truth. I reached for the door, then stopped. After taking another deep breath I opened the door and got inside the limo wondering what in the world I was getting myself into.

  The limo was empty. I looked nervously around, feeling like I might have a full-fledge panic attack. My heart pounded so loud in my chest that now my ears rang. Sitting next to me in the empty limo was a giant black box with a silk tied ribbon.

  McKenzie Kane was written on the tag.

  I stared at it for what felt like minutes. Finally, I carefully pulled the satin bow. A thousand possible ideas were running through my brain. A dress maybe? I lifted the box and there laying on top was a small black lace looking fabric with a note on top.

  Put this on immediately after you are dressed. Please make sure to obscure your vision. Please do not delay in changing. It is in your best interest if you do this as soon as you can.

  Why in the world should I be blindfolded? I started panicking. But underneath the fabric was a check written out to me for $45,000 made by the BC enterprises.

  Under the check was a note.

  This will be kept in safe keeping once you are dropped off and services rendered. Remember, payment will be yours at 6am.

  The visual reminder that a full year of medical school would be paid for in full, was just the courage I needed to keep up with this whole rabbit hole charade. My fingers felt the fabric of a black lace dress and I held it up and gasped. It was the most beautiful lace evening gown I had ever laid my eyes on. It was floor length, quarter length sleeves, and appeared to be very tight fitting and very sheer, almost like lingerie.

  I held the dress out for further admiring. It was amazing. I couldn’t believe I was going to wear this. I looked back at the box to find white lace exquisite lingerie. The fabric was interwoven with satin. It was the most beautiful lingerie I’d ever seen. I examined the dainty thin bra that barely provided a thin layer of covering. It was exactly my bra size. But I knew with the black lace, this lacy bra would no doubt peep through the dress, as well as my pink nipples. The white lacy thong was a Brazilian cheeky fit. I would be on display underneath for all to see, for whomever to see.

  I swallowed hard.

  Then there at the bottom of the box lay a velvet box. What could this be? I opened the box to see something that rivaled the necklace Rose wore in the film Titanic. Instead of blue diamond, the necklace was sparkling in red diamonds. It was HUGE! The chain consisted of five-carat flowers with two-carat diamond centers. I didn’t have time to count how many diamonds there were but as I ran my finger over the necklace, I pondered its worth, the necklace had to have been worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

  Who were these people? And what was I getting myself into?

  Moments later I sat prim straight in the dress, velvet pumps, and I had tied the black lace blindfold several times around my eyes to make sure I couldn’t see anything. My thick curled eyelashes felt funny and uncomfortable in the blindfold, but I didn’t want to mess with these people and do anything wrong. I desperately needed that tuition money. Finally the limo stopped and I held my breath. The door opened and I felt a strong hand reach for my arm and help me out of the limo.

  The air was chilly and as the heels clanked loudly on what I guessed was a sidewalk, I strained to listen for my surroundings. It was eerie quiet and I could smell faint chimney smoke in the air. The only thing I heard was the rustling of the wind through trees and scraping branches.

  “Watch your step,” the voice said to me. “Three steps up right here.” I felt the approaching steps with the front of my heels and stepped with trepidation. My pounding heart now reached in my ears and my face was numb in fright.

  I heard a squeaky door open before me.

  “Thank you sir. That will be all.”

  The arm steadying me released and walked away. I stood there, waiting in wonder. After the door shut in the limo and the engine was turned on and it drove away, the man said.

  “Password?”

  “Uh . . . BlueAlpha 118.”

  “Very, well. You may enter.” But I didn’t even know where to go, or what to do. That was when another arm looped through my own. The fabric covering his arm felt to be a suit jacket.

  “Right this way.”

  I walked in caution completely unaware of what I may or may not run into. We made turns here, turns there. What was this place? It was large, that’s for certain.

  The heavy flood of cologne flooded my senses as the mystery man in the mystery place led me.

  "Sir", I heard someone acknowledge.

  "Ma’am.”

  The heels clanked loudly and the acoustics of the room sounded like a museum.

  I heard a sliding door open.

  "Watch your step right there . . . take a large step here."

  Obliging, I took a step as he halted me and I heard the door close and felt the slow drop. I was in an elevator. Having my vision constricted left me feeling woozy from the sudden shifting.

  “If you ever speak of this, there will be consequences. It’s best you keep this night to yourself.”

  Before I could even respond, the door opened to the sound of gregarious laughter, clanging of china and classical music. I could smell cigar smoke and delicious aroma of food. I felt myself freeze on the inside. I was in the company of men. We passed the commotion until we entered a quitter area.

  “Wait right here.”

  Right. Where was I going to go?

  I stood there for what felt like eternity and felt a sudden chill.

  “This way, miss.” A female’s voice ushered my way and I heard a door open before me and shut behind.

  “Here. You may sit if you like.” Her soft icy cold hands led me to a cushioned chair. My hands naturally explored the chair. I felt the ribbed medal below the satin fabric and was unaware that I was gripping the chair for dear life out of fear. Soft bristles from what appeared to be a make-up brush, brushed my cheeks causing me to startle in fright.

  “Sorry about that.” She dabbed lightly at me.

  I felt her touch my pouty lips and wondered what she was placing on them. I imaged for some reason a dark red color.

  “Ready?”

  I’m not sure for what? Maybe I would find out soon enough.

  I heard a door open to my right and she led me slowly holding my hand until she stopped a few steps after. I heard her heels take a few steps away until I was left with the awareness that I was alone.

  “Tonight’s duchess. Bidding begins.” I jumped at the loud voice amplified in a microphone.

  Bidding?

  I heard murmurs from men and could smell thick cigar smoke.

  “Fifty thousand.”

  “One hundred thousand.”

  “Two hundred thousand.”

  Left and right, numbers were said over each other until I heard the words, “Sold.”

  I began to panic inside. I wasn’t entirely sure but, I was just sold for $200,000 (my entire medical school tuition by the way) and was being led somewhere where I assumed would be with whomever won me.

  Moments later, I was told that I may sit by the same woman’s voice from earlier. I then heard the door shut, and the clanging of her heels no longer sounded. I was all alone in the room, at least it sounded like I was alone. I strummed my fingers on another chair, this one velvet, and couldn’t take the suspense any more.

&nbs
p; That’s when I smelled a man. The expensive smell of cologne.

  “Ah, you are a beauty.” I heard a voice and felt a finger lift my chin gently.

  Fright surfaced over my body as chills manifested. My nipples went hard from the fear and I began to shake.

  “You may see now, angel.” The lace was untied. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to a very handsome man in a pinstriped suit with slick back hair and warm brown eyes. I immediately scanned the room. Charcoaled lacquer walls, an elaborate gold mirror hanging and candles. And an extremely expensive upholstered bed with rich bedding.

  A bed.

  I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Oh holy hell!

  There would be sex.

  Who the hell pays $200,000 for sex? I suddenly felt very . . . important in a weird way.

  I know I must have looked scared out of my wits. I was shaking and couldn’t hide my nerves. My shock.

  “Here,” a champagne flute was handed to me, the kind with gold not just decorating the top, but the stem had lines of gold as well.

  I took the flute cautiously and took a giant sip. Shit. Never take drinks from strangers. Okay, past the whole rule scene here. A man is paying to have sex with me. At least that’s what I am assuming. Rules have been broken.

  He studied me with careful attention and I shyly looked down at my heels.

  I could feel him staring at my breasts.

  “You are free to leave, if you like. There are no forced acts here.”

  “Le . . . leave?”

  Forced acts?

  His stubble on his chin was damn sexy. His smile was intoxicating. He had perfect teeth. I looked away again completely in a bundle of nerves. This hot man, wealthy man, wanted to pay to have sex with me. I couldn’t even speak. I took another sip of the champagne while my free hand fingered the heavy necklace nervously.

  “Do you wish to leave?”

  My eyes scanned the room again.

  $45,000 will be yours, McKenzie. Six more hours until you will be home. You can get through anything.

  I looked at his light brown eyes and felt my chin tremble. I wasn’t just afraid; I was terrified. I’d never done anything like this before. And he was damn good looking. He seemed harmless. But for some reason I felt a shiver down my spine. I had never slept with a perfect stranger before.

  Oh my god, what if he asks for a blowjob?

  My thoughts were racing and I couldn’t control them. I finished the glass as he chuckled and paced.

  “What is this place?”

  He spun on his heel. “Ah, the elusive and exclusive bc.” His eyes sparkled.

  I inhaled regret and stared at the ceiling trying not cry. I was scared shitless.

  “I . . . . ”

  “Are you afraid, lovely?” His eyes narrowed on me.

  I nodded.

  “I could see it in your body as you stood there. I sensed it. That’s why I bid for you. An angel like you should be looked after properly. I know all about you.”

  “You . . . you do?”

  “Uh hm.” He now sat next to me on the exquisite ivory sofa and trailed his finger over my skin.

  “I know why you’re here. Everyone’s here for something. It’s written all over your aura; you’re not here to experiment. You’re here to get a job done so you can go on with your life. It’s no different than any other person.”

  I couldn’t move an inch. His voice, his warm breath against my neck, his perfect hands. This immaculate man whose entire suit probably cost as much as my medical school tuition, sat inches away from me and I didn’t know what was going to happen next.

  “No one here services unwillingly.”

  My eyes crept to the left of my pounding head to view his face.

  “Tell me, angel. Do you find me attractive?”

  My chin tilted towards him slightly; but I was afraid to look at him. So afraid of his handsome face.

  I nodded quickly. “Very.”

  “Well, then.” He cleared his throat. “It’s apparent that I think you are a goddess.” His inflection peeked at the word goddess. His voice soothing, as if coaxing me for the grand act.

  “I’ll take care of you, precious.” His hand cupped the side of my face and I finally made eye contact with him. I was paralyzed by fright, intoxication, awe, wonder, and I felt heat in between my legs as moistness began to flow. Yes, my body was reacting to this man.

  He had movie star looks and curiosity did begin to get the best of me. What would happen if I stayed? He wasn’t hideous and fat; he was the opposite. Every woman’s fantasy!

  Because idiot, you’d be like a stupid prostitute! Snap out of it! He wants sex!

  My heart yelled out at me.

  His warm hand cupped my clammy face and filled my body with electric numbness, warming me, sending heat to intimate places.

  He trailed my cheek and then released his hand to rest his arm along the gold innate armrest. My perfect posture never failed me.

  I really need this money. And this answer to my prayer practically fell from the sky. How hard is sex? I’ve had it a few times with one person I loved dearly.

  “Are you second guessing yourself? I’m a gentlemen. But once you agree, I’m afraid I have a pretty hungry appetite and I may not be able to stop.”

  I slowly turned my chin and made eye contact with his deep eyes. Chills filled my entire body sending waves of coolness combined with the heat in my intimate places and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. There was no denying it; this man had a hold over me. I wanted him.

  “No.”

  And then with that one word, his wet large lips found mine as his hand reached the back of my head as he kissed me with such power that left me breathless and rendered paralyzed. His tongue played with my tongue as his hands began to undress me. His oversized hands cupped my breasts, I began to throb uncontrollably and my body begged to be filled.

  I wanted him to touch my bare nipples. Before I could even think, my head dizzy from the intense intoxication of this man’s power over me, my dress was unzipped and lay bunched at my waist. His hands gripped my waist and his lips hungrily found my begging nipples. With his teeth, he lowered my bra and sucked at my nipple as I lifted my eyes to the ceiling in utter pleasure. My eyes rolled and my jaw opened wide. I gasped. If this was all we did for this one moment this night, it would be enough to last me for a lifetime.

  I could never remember my body ever reacting like this with my previous lover.

  I tried to quiet a small moan, but as he went to my other nipple and freed my bra, with now both hands on my breasts and kissing along my collarbone, the overwhelming pleasure feeling was too much. I cried out.

  “I like that.” He whispered. “I like seeing you in pleasure this way.” He leaned me back on the velvet sofa. Never did I imagine that a complete stranger could invoke such strong electric feelings. I struggled to breath as if I were under water and just burst from holding my breath for a minute.

  His tongue trailed all the way down to my waist where my dress still lay coiled. He removed my dress leaving my body bare sans my lacy white thong. He began kissing my ankles as his hand began to journey up the inside of my sensitive thighs. My breath caught and I shivered. My pussy was dripping wet as his thumbs delicately teased where my lips entwined with the lace. He removed them in a snap and there I lay, exposed, completely naked except for my designer heels and the diamond necklace, at the mercy of a very rich man.

  He backed up and stood inches away from me, with his hand thoughtfully resting under his chin. I opened my eyes and felt my nipples buzzing; my entire body calling for this man to take me, to have his way with me.

  A small smile appeared on his face and I wondered what he was plotting next. I didn’t care. As long as our bodies touched.

  You’re not being reasonable, McKenzie, you don’t even know this man.

  Oh, yes I do.

  “Well, . . . .” his eyes scanned my body from head to toe once more and I felt like Kate from Titanic, l
ying there, being admired. This thrilled me for some reason beyond me.

  “You really are a sight.” He said with every word weighted with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. He let out a small sigh.

  Oh my gosh, what was he going to do? Was he about to do some of that BSDM stuff?

  My heart doubled its speed.

  Panic flooded in like a tidal wave and constricted my breathing. As he unbuckled his belt and his trousers lay coiled by his thousand dollar shiny shoes, his silk boxers were now on display.

  With his toe he removed his shoe. Left and then right, his shoes were removed as he retrieved his pressed pants now at his ankles and hung them by the jacket. All the while he never took his eyes off of me. I swallowed hard, to move past the pile of bricks that lay on my chest—but the anxiety wouldn’t leave. I breathed in deeply as I exhaled. That’s when I saw his enormous thick member protruding the dark green boxers. Ready.

  Oh my gosh!

  My innocent, small town, church going inner child kicked in and I panicked on the inside. I had only seen a man’s penis once. My first love; my boyfriend of five years.

  But this man, this exquisite man, well . . . his thick member was rather large. Extremely large.

  In and out I breathed faster, until I couldn’t disclose my discomfort anymore. I was on the verge of a full-fledge anxiety attack all the while my pussy buzzed, purring, in hope. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the two extreme paradoxical contrasts of emotions.

  He unbuttoned his white crisp shirt slowly, each button capped in gold. His cufflinks were last and they were covered in black diamonds. I stared at his cufflinks for what felt like an eternity, trying to shroud my thoughts.

  He stood, spinning his left pink ring and studied me. I sat up in hopes to breathe easier. He poured more liquid courage and handed me a flute with amused expression.

  “I’ve . . . I’ve—” I tried to speak.

  He handed me the flute and I slugged it down in three gulps begging for it to calm my nerves.

  “I’m not that bad. I’ve been told I’m a courteous lover.”