He tucked me in, kissed me on the head and looked at me with such longing that I did the unthinkable and reached up to kiss him. He pulled back slightly and it looked as if it was causing him pain. He resisted for a few seconds, before he crushed his lips back to mine. He kissed me as though he had only seconds to live. His breathing sped up as he crawled into my bed beside me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me fervently.
After a few minutes of kissing he pulled back,
“Ok, you’ve had your fun. Now go to sleep.” I snuggled into him and kissed his chest where his heart was before I fell asleep again. I woke up the next morning and turned around to see him, but he wasn’t there. I reached up and touched my lips and they felt a little sensitive. I started thinking about the night before and I went to get up when I felt like something had me pinned to the bed. My heart started racing, but the sensation passed after a few seconds.
I glanced in the mirror and realised how much of a mess I looked. My hair was haywire and there were bits of leaves and twigs in it. My fingers roamed about my head and I jumped when I touched a lump with crusty bits of dried blood around it.
I stood there shaking and decided to go for another shower to see if I could figure out what happened. I didn’t remember anything after I decided to go get dinner. I remembered getting to the door and opening the door, then nothing until I woke up and collapsed on the bathroom floor.
What was going on?
I went into the bathroom and stripped to go into the shower, but when I looked at my ankle there was a vivid red handprint there. As soon as I saw it, I noticed more of them snaking their way up my legs, I climbed into the shower and they got worse under the warm water. They started to burn and I began shaking violently. I turned off the shower, tried to get out and managed to get the door open and my towel on, before my legs gave way. I was falling in what felt like slow motion. I grabbed onto the sink and knocked over my bottle of deodorant. I landed on my hands, but when I tried to stand up I couldn’t. Just then my bedroom door opened and Nathan stood in the doorframe. As he got closer to me I had another flashback from the night before. He was slashing at these little, red creatures with shark like mouths and large hands. He kept slashing and slicing at them until there was a pile of them at his feet and he was covered in green gunky stuff.
I cringed as he touched me and he looked sadder than I had ever seen him. He reached down to help me up and I scuttled back from him.
“I’m not going to hurt you Jasmine. Let me help you please.” The pain in his voiced lanced through my heart and I stared up at him, when another memory surfaced of him kissing Lisa at his room door. I gasped and placed my hand on my heart. He bent down and I moved further back. He stared at me in concern until I managed to get the words out that were choking me.
“Are you back with Lisa?” I asked in whisper.
He looked like I had slapped him, his eyes pleaded me to understand as he answered me, “Jas, you know the answer.”
“Which answer Nathan? I saw you kiss her, so are you with her or not?”
“It's complicated Jas, please just let me help you,” he pleaded. He reached over and I slapped his hands away. “Please, just let me help you.” I cringed as helped me up, and lifted me into his arms. He carried me back to my bed and leaned in whispering, “Please just trust me,” before he turned and left, closing the door behind him.
What was complicated? Did he want me or was I just a toy to him?
The pain in my legs reached boiling point and I screamed in agony. Suddenly my door opened and Nathan was back with a water glass. He walked over to me handed me some funny looking green pills and the water glass. He looked at my legs and growled. He placed his hands on my cheeks forcing me to look at him,
“This will hurt a lot but you cannot make a single sound, do you hear me? I need you to understand, not one noise. Take the tablets and then I’ll get your legs fixed.”
I groaned in agony and gazed up at him realising I had no choice but to trust him. I took the pills and swallowed them, feeling like I was swallowing a boulder.
“The pain is going to get worse, but remember not a single sound.” I bristled at the thought and he stroked his hands down my cheeks swiping away the tears that rolled from my eyes. He leaned down and kissed my lips gently before he moved back. His gaze touched upon my eyes and I saw an apology there.
He placed his hands on my knee caps and his fingers stabbed me over and over again like knives cutting at my torched skin. I whimpered and he glared at me holding my knees in place as they tried to kick out and writhe away from him. Dizziness overtook me as the inferno in my legs increased. He pressed harder and the knives dug deeper. “Nathan, you’re stabbing me.” I cried out in a whisper as knives picked up tempo. I started to see lights popping behind my eyes and my eyes rolled.
“Hold on baby, almost there.”
I tried to hold on. I lifted my arms even though they felt like dead weights and placed my hand on his arm. I became a bit more aware, but it didn’t last long and my body started vibrating as the pain intensified. I kept my mouth shut but I couldn’t keep the tears in and they streamed down my face until the pain stopped abruptly and I collapsed back on the bed gasping for breath. Nathan stood, reached down and pulled me up into a sitting position before he leaned down pressing his lips to mine.
“Well done, you coped amazingly.”
He left and my confusion increased. What was going on with us? I needed some answers. My eyes closed and I drifted off again. I dreamed about those creatures attacking me again and hand gently touched me. The zinging told me it was Nathan, but when I woke up there was no-one there.
My stomach growled and I realised I was famished. I got up and threw on some clothes before leaving my room. I glanced over at his door and found it was closed. I was in two minds about going over to him, but as I was debating it his door opened and he looked shocked to see me standing there as he brought Lisa out by the hand. I felt my heart splinter and I spun around and walked down the stairs.
I walked into the kitchen, grabbed some bread and made myself up a sandwich, snatched an apple, some crisps and a lunch bag. I filled my water bottle and walked over to the backdoor. I looked back once before leaving and instantly regretted it. He was standing there kissing her. I glared at him and stormed out, shutting the door.
I wandered around all day aimlessly and ended up near the cliff face in the woods. I found an amazing little spot which was hidden from the world. It was down a little path and had a large outcropping of rock overhead. I sat there for hours and tried to tell myself not to care. My mind struggled as I tried to figure out why it was it complicated, he either wanted me or he wanted her?
After a few hours I started to feel hungry so I scooted over to my bag. Suddenly, I noticed Nathan was in the woods looking around. I was well hidden. I sat there for a while longer and when I was sure he had gone I crawled forwards and climbed back up the embankment.
I got to the top and was relieved that he wasn’t there. I didn’t want to see him at all. I began walking home, enjoying the light rain that was falling through the leaves and enjoying the smell of the wet grass. I was walking without paying attention, looking at the shapes the light was making in the woods. I didn’t notice him until he walked out into the path right in front of me. I was smiling and when I looked at him, I could see he was upset, but I was not going to make this easy from him.
“I, I, please Jas, look at me,” he broke off as I brushed passed him. He reached out to grab my arm, but I snatched it out of the way.
“Please, I . . . I just want to explain. Jasmine, come back!”
I could hear his voice break and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do to keep walking away from him. I looked back and his head was in his hands and he was on his knees, his shoulders shaking.
I kept walking even though I was crying so hard that I couldn’t see. I leaned on a tree and when I had myself under control I began walking again. I had only taken a few
steps when a hand went on my arm. I looked around and I saw Nathan standing there. I turned back to the path and he pulled on my arm trying to force me to face him, but I yanked my arm out of his grip and stormed away.
I got back to the house at half past four and went straight upstairs, kicked off my boots and climbed into bed. I fell into an uneasy sleep where I dreamed about monsters, creatures with faces made of tree bark. I dreamed about Nathan turning into one of these creatures and my heart thundered in my chest.
I woke up really early again the next morning but didn’t want to open my eyes. I lay there for a few moments and I listened to the quiet of my bedroom, when a sound registered and I heard breathing from the floor. I rolled to my right and glanced at the floor beside my bed, but there was nothing there. I rolled back over onto the left side of the bed. I gazed at the floor and Nathan was lying there looking so peaceful in his sleep.
I sat up wanting to run away. I couldn’t take this. My heart was thundering loudly in my chest when he spoke,
“No, Jas, don’t run please.”
I looked down and he was still fast asleep which freaked me out. I scuttled over to the other side of the bed and climbed out of bed to go to the bathroom. My feet quietly touched the floor as I tried not to disturb him because I didn’t want to speak to him. I couldn’t cope with him crushing my heart again. I leaned on the sink and looked in the mirror.
I had to dig deep to find the courage to go out and face him because either way I was the one who was getting hurt. I opened the door and he was gone from the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief until I looked at my bed and there he was. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He was staring at me as if I was walking on air.
I realised I couldn’t face it. I walked to the door looking anywhere, but at him. My heart felt as though someone was poking it with a red hot knife, and as he spoke a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Please,” he begged me, “please baby, just listen to me.”
“Nathan, don’t call me baby. Its four am, please just go.”
I didn’t turn round, but I knew the instant he was behind me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the back of my head. I stiffened in his arms and he sighed as a tear splashed on my head.
“I will explain, just please let me. I’m so sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention, but it was necessary.”
I glared at him and he finally left, closing the door. I stormed back over to my bed to mull over what he had said. How could it be necessary to hurt me? What was he trying to prove? How had I let him in so far? I never let people in and here I was with a broken heart because he consumed me and I couldn’t see past him. I needed to stop caring about him because this was agony.
I nodded back off and woke up sometime later with my alarm clock. Back to school today with the psychotic Lisa and her minions, I was so looking forward to it.
On my way into school I met Katie and Danni and we all walked in together. Katie asked me to a movie again that night which I gladly agreed to. I watched as Nathan walked up to Lisa and kissed her. My heart dropped into my toes as I nodded, knowing I needed the distraction.
I was still looking at them when a moment later he looked back at me and caught my eye. I just shook my head in disgust. I saw his face turn down and a tear leak out, but he caught it before anyone else noticed. My heart burned as I watched him swipe away the tear, but I couldn’t live with the confusion he was causing me. I steeled myself. Whatever was going on with me and Nathan was over. His head whipped in my direction and I saw agony lance through his features. I turned away as his eyes filled with tears. My eyes responded and I swallowed with difficulty.
Katie asked my opinion on something, but when I asked what she was talking about she looked ahead and leaned in to whisper in my ear,
“He will never leave her and you can’t have him. You’d be best not to try and take him because she will come after you if you even try.”
“I don’t . . .” my voice cracked and I tried again, “I’m not interested in Nathan. She’s welcome to him.” I saw him shake his head from the corner of my eye and he moved away from her.
Danni had noticed as well and looked at me with sympathy rather than the contempt I seemed to be getting from Katie, though she didn’t say anything to me, just reached over and squeezed my hands as we walked into school together.
Seeing them together throughout the day was torture. A boy from my class, James, stopped to speak to me and walked with me down to lunch. It was the first time I had smiled all day. He was cute, with dark hair, brown eyes and a nice smile. We talked about books and movies, and I ended up sitting with him at lunch. He asked me out on a date on Tuesday night and I smiled as I said yes.
After lunch I was in the bathrooms when I heard the door open. I heard Lisa and some other girls chatting, one of whom sounded like Katie,
“She thinks he likes her, like actually likes her?”
Katie answered, “I think so, but she’s so cagey about it that I can’t get a straight answer out of her.”
“Well keep trying and honestly, why would he like her when he has me? I mean seriously, she’s such a plain wee biatch while I’m, well me.”
The girls all laughed sycophantically and then she really stuck the knife in,
“He said he loved me this weekend and I stayed over at his house Saturday. He said he got freaked out because we’re still in school and it scared him, but he loves me and he wants to be with me now forever.”
“Aww he’s such a sweetie isn’t he?” came another voice as the bell thankfully rang, drowning out the end of their conversation.
As they left the bathroom I slid down the stall feeling the tears burning the back of my throat. He loves her? Then why was he kissing me? What was going on with him? The tears flowed down my cheeks as I hardened my resolve to stay away from him. The pain was unbearable. I felt as though he was ripping my heart apart. Tomorrow I would go out with James and I would stay well away from Nathan for good.
The rest of the school day passed in a blur and I went home, got changed then went back into town to meet up with Katie and the girls. I didn’t trust Katie at all now but I needed friends and so far these were the only ones I had.
We all met under the clock at half past 6 and went to Pizza Place for dinner. We were all sitting there when Lisa, Hayleigh and Joanna walked in. Lisa walked over to our table and looked right at me, making me think, oh shit what was she going to do this time, when she asked if she could speak to me privately. I agreed and followed her into the bathrooms. She stopped in front of the sinks and turned to look at me,
“I’m sorry Jasmine, I haven’t been very nice to you. It’s just I was worried about me and Nathan and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have.” She smiled at me and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, so I smiled back and said,
“No worries, I’m fine.”
We walked out of the toilets and I sat down with my friends again. I watched her walk away and noticed James and some of his friends sitting in the back, a bar type area next to the pool tables. James noticed me and smiled and waved. I smiled back and nodded at him before returning my attention to my friends. We began chatting again while eating our pizzas. I had just taken a huge mouthful of pizza when Nathan, Joe, Lucca and another of his friends walked in. I almost chocked and Danni, who was sitting beside me whacked me on the back. She didn’t say anything but as they passed us Nathan’s hand skimmed my arm causing butterflies to rise in my stomach. I stared down at my food, feeling suddenly sick as I refused to acknowledge him.
After dinner we were about to leave when James came over and asked if we wanted to join him and his friends for a game of pool and a laugh. I looked at Katie and she had this evil glint in her eye as she nodded.
I talked with James as we walked through to the bar area together. I looked around and Lisa was sitting on Nathan’s knees doing something that shouldn’t be done in public. I started in disgust and turned away, but not before I noticed Nathan
watching me with fury in his gaze. I just shook my head again at him. I ignored him completely after that and focused on having fun messing around with James and the girls.
“Can I kiss you,” James asked me shyly as we were all talking about heading home.
“Okay.” I smiled at him and he lightly brushed my lips with his. I had closed my eyes, but when I opened them I saw Nathan glaring at me with a murderous expression. I was still standing in James’s arms and I leaned in again and kissed him, watching the play of emotions on Nathan’s face from the corner of my eye. He looked hurt, angry, confused, and then livid. I could see his body shaking as I looked at hm.
I looked away and kissed James again, but Nathan walked over and gripped my arm tightly,
“Do you want a walk home, I’m just leaving,” he mumbled through his teeth.
“Yeah, sure. That would be lovely, thanks.” I said without looking at him as his hand shook my arm. He let me go and walked over to speak to Lisa.
When he came back over again I was speaking to James, thanking him for a lovely night. I kissed him softly on the cheek and Nathan’s teeth gritted together with an audible snap. I smiled vindictively as I went over to thank the girls. As I made my way round the girls I spotted Nathan standing outside in the bucketing rain without a jacket on or jumper. His t-shirt was soaked and he was staring moodily at the ground.
As I reached the door, I glanced back and noticed that Lisa was speaking to Katie. She was looking rather annoyed.
I walked out into the downpour towards Nathan and smiled at him. I began heading towards his house and he followed me, huffing and not speaking. I didn’t speak a word to him but eventually at about half way home he pulled me off the road and into the trees. He kept hold of my arm and stopped when we were shaded from the wind, the rain and the road.
He glared at me and I stood there feeling amused for a few minutes. I went to walk away because it became clear that he wasn’t going to say anything, but when I looked at him I saw tears in his eyes and I could see that he was fighting with himself.
Luminosity (Escaping Demons Saga Book 1) Page 12