I sat gingerly, trying to move as little as possible as my head continued to throb. “Are you okay, Ame? Really?” Cole asked. “Do you need me?”
“Amelia. Help yourself. You can undo exactly what you’ve done, you just need to focus.” Derreck actually sounded a little irked to have to explain it, but I didn’t care. I’d thought of helping myself, it was what I usually did, but after what had just happened, I was afraid to use even an ounce of my power. I would have much rather had Cole’s help, but now I didn’t feel like I could.
“It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Just talk.” I let my own irritation come to the surface and with a huff, Derreck got back to business.
“Things got a little convoluted back there and I feel like you only got half of a few different stories. I want to start with your father, which was where I tried to start.”
I wanted to say something snarky about all of the half-stories, but I just didn’t have the energy.
Derreck continued. “What I was trying to explain was that the day you were born, the day your mother died and you were betrothed, the Hunter, Rhi, also put a spell on your Father. Rhi initially wanted to take you right then. He wanted to take you back to the queen and force you to live your life out at the castle. But your father, even amid all his grief, thought faster than Rhi. He offered to allow Rhi access to his mind, to allow him to monitor you, so long as you were allowed to stay with him until you were twenty-one. Your father wanted the opportunity to be with you, to watch his beloved daughter grow up. Rhi agreed, but your father didn’t force Rhi to be specific enough in his oath. He wanted the ability to allow Rhi to see you when he chose to. Instead, the oath allowed Rhi to access his mind any time the queen wanted to see you or see your progress. All Rhi had to do was say a specific command and he could see whatever your father could see. Any moment of the day or night, your father would be a spy for the queen.”
This time, it was Cole that spoke before I did. “You’re telling us that not only was he not crazy and that mom was really murdered, but that what he did to us — what he did to Amelia — was all because the Hunters really were everywhere? Do you understand what that means? What knowing that could have changed?” His voice cracked as he spoke and I felt the wounds inside of him rip open once more.
Derreck was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Cole. It wasn’t my choice and it wasn’t my place. Your father made the decision that he needed to protect your sister, to try to do his best to stop her from becoming what they wanted her to be. Or, if she did, to make damn sure they never knew it. You were an innocent bystander, but he also needed you. You helped contain her. Your leaving was hard on him in so many ways, but I was watching, too. I followed you from town to town and I saw what you were trying to do, how you were trying to help Amelia. You were going to get yourself killed doing it the way you had. And, I felt your pain, your loneliness. Your mother would have never forgiven me if I had let you face all of that alone.”
I had never seen my brother cry, but as the two men sat staring at each other, Cole’s eyes shone with unshed tears. Probably tears he should have cried many times over the years and never did. The tears that came from feeling betrayed not once, but many times — by family. But, there was also understanding.
Blinking them back yet again, Cole composed himself. “At least you were there. I’m glad you were there,” he said, his voice thick.
As I had watched the conversation progress between Cole and Uncle Derreck, my mind was reeling at all of the information. All the times my dad had yelled at me about control and locked me in my room. They hadn’t been about me failing him. He had been protecting me. He hid in his office so they couldn’t see me. So that he wouldn’t accidentally show them something. My throat clogged with emotion and my own tears fell in silent drops, leaving trails of regret in their wake.
“Where is he, Uncle Derreck? Where is our dad? We need to see him. He needs to know we know.” An urgency I hadn’t felt through any of this raced through me. There was so much I needed to say to my father.
Derreck shook his head, his answer a mix of patience and misery. “I’m sorry, Amelia. He’s gone. I couldn’t help him and there was only one person I could even think of that could. I can’t tell you where he’s gone or how long, I don’t know where the man I sent him to is. And, you can’t see him anyway. They would be able to see you. Rhi is still inside of his head. Until someone can break that bond, he’ll always be in his head.”
Defeat sucked the urgency and the fervor straight out of me. “Then tell me, what is a Keeper?” I had to keep going. I had to know it all. It had been hard enough being an Elder, the idea that I was still something else entirely was almost more than my mind could handle.
“What you need to understand is that there is not more than one. You are it, Amelia. You alone are the Keeper and what you are has never been and can never be again. You are a combination of all of the power held by the Elders who were still living when your mother got pregnant. You have the normal Elder power you should, but you also hold power from all five families. You are the only one to ever hold this power. The first thing the queen did when she moved to take over was separate the five families from each other. She knew that alone they could never do the damage they could together when their powers were linked and fed off of each other. That is what you have inside you. You have their power. You are the Keeper of our future.”
I sat back in my chair in stunned silence, Derreck’s words rolling over and over in my head. It should have been harder to understand, but at least now I could give a name to the darkness in me. It was a she. Many of them. How could I explain to him that it was evil? That this supposedly-wonderful Keeper power took me over and did nothing but damage? That it wouldn’t listen to me or be guided by me? I needed more time to think, so I just sat quietly.
“And, her mate? What does that even mean?” Cole asked. “Did Rhi do that, too?”
“No,” Derreck responded. “Rhi had nothing to do with anything Amelia is or isn’t. That was all your mother. She had foreseen what was to come and took action of her own accord. She was one of the strongest Elders we had and knew she could handle the pregnancy and that her daughter could handle the power. No one knows who Amelia’s mate is.” Derreck paused for a moment before leaning in, his palms together and his fingers steepled.
“The oldest living Elder from the high council prophecised the end of Queen Julia’s reign. From what I know, she told her that, ‘A day would come when inside her the five families would merge and only a man who was both king and companion could tame the wild and set her free.’ I’ve heard that there could be more to the prophecy, but that was all your mother was sure of. She passed it on to me the same day she explained the choice that she’d made. Of course, she thought she would be here to help guide you, to help you learn to control it all and rise to greatness. Your father didn’t even know until it was too late. He would have never arranged your betrothal had he understood what you were to become.”
Derreck fell back onto the couch, relief visible on his face, as if a weight had been lifted from him by sharing his story. The problem was that that weight had been transferred to me. I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. My mind was racing and I couldn’t begin to sort through the madness. My life had been a lie. Everything I thought I knew was false. No one was who they seemed.
Who was I? All of my hopes for real answers were gone — dashed in an instant as Uncle Derreck’s words sunk in and the reality emerged that not only was this so much bigger than I had imagined, but that no one truly knew the truth.
A huge crash brought me out of my contemplative trance. I shot up as both dogs started barking and Derreck leapt from the couch. I was shocked to find Cole in a rage. He was upending side tables and sweeping the contents of shelves to the ground. His eyes burned a deep green and he tossed a kitchen table chair as he roared, “WHY?” He rounded on Derreck and stalked toward him.
“WHY? You had so many opportunities to tell me the
truth. You found me when I was twenty. I had been out on my own for two years trying to find a way to help my sister. To get her away from my crazy dad and stop this betrothal. You knew I’d spent my life protecting her and that I’d spend the rest of my life doing it. You told me you were going to help me. Did you? Did you really help me, Uncle Derreck? You could have helped me by telling me THE TRUTH!” Cole’s words were like thunder, echoing throughout the cavernous cabin.
Derreck stood his ground. As I watched the green fire build around Cole’s body, starting at his hands and rippling out until it surrounded him, I kept expecting Derreck to back down. To walk away. To apologize. But, he didn’t. He just stood there, in the center of the room, breathing deeply as he did his best to control the natural reaction to Cole’s explosion. A trickle of electricity swept through me as my eyes changed and she came to life. I tried to push her down, but she was elated to have a reason to come out to play.
Both dogs were hunkered down on either side of me, inherently protective. The stand-off between Cole and Uncle Derreck was intense, both literally radiating power and emotion. While Cole wanted to be angry, I felt his pain as acutely as if it were my own. The sharp bite of the blade of betrayal. Whether that’s truly what it was or not, that’s what it felt like. I hated that he knew that feeling, that we had that in common now.
Derreck stood stoic, limbs down but rigid at his sides. Cole faced him in a fighter’s stance with clenched fists and a fierce stare. He took short breaths in and out of his mouth, just waiting for the excuse. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I pushed my way between them.
“Stop it! Just stop it!” I shouted. I shoved a hand to each of their chests. Not that my one-hundred and fifty pounds was going to do much against two walls of muscle, but it was worth a shot. I looked back and forth between them as heat radiated from their chests into my palms.
“You want to make this about me, Cole, then make it about me,” I commanded. “Whole truth or not, Uncle Derreck has told us more now than we’ve ever known. But, even with everything we do know, there’s still so much we don’t. Who else is going to help us? We need him. We need his information.” I stared my brother directly in the eyes until the burn faded to the shine of fresh grass and eventually back to brown. Then, I turned on my uncle. “And, you. Right now we need to be convinced that we can trust you. So, convince us.”
The rogue in me added a little jolt to that last word and Derreck took a step back, rubbing his chest. “Fine! Deal! As much as I can tell you, I will.” He turned away muttering, “Now, was that entirely necessary?”
Chapter 19
“What about the attacks? Twice Amelia has been targeted. We don’t know who they are or what they want. All we know is that the woman is associated with a rebel faction that hates the queen. There has to be more than one group of people that hate that woman, so that doesn’t narrow it down much for us.” Cole looked to Derreck for confirmation.
Derreck nodded, saying, “We can assume these people at least understand that Amelia is an Elder — they may even have the notion that she’s the last one given no one’s seen an Elder in years. That in and of itself is enough for them to want to use her for her power. I think it’s time I make a visit to Brighton to see what’s happening. It would also help to get a better scope of Amelia’s skills when she’s actually using them herself.” Derreck turned to me. “We need to teach you some control and I’m not even sure how to do that, given what’s inside you.” He didn’t look nearly as confident as I wanted him to.
Derreck went on to give us more background; explanations Cole had already given me around the history and how Julia came to power. It was good to be able to say, “I knew that!” instead of constantly questioning everything. My frustration resumed when we got back to the issue of me having a “mate”.
“You have to have some idea who this guy is, don’t you? I mean, who really just throws something like that out there with no extra information?” I was having a bit of a tantrum. I was beat tired, my head was throbbing, and Derreck just kept telling me I needed to be out there looking for my mate. That I needed to give up school, my job, my friends, my life, and go.
“Amelia, you’re asleep with your eyes open. There is no use going in circles right now. It’s time for bed.” Derreck stood and the look he gave me made it perfectly clear that the conversation was over for tonight. I wondered if that look would have been the same one my mom would have given me had she still been alive.
“Fine,” I said with an extended yawn. “But I still have questions.”
“Understood,” he agreed. Then, he stopped next to me as I stood and spoke in low, unyielding tones. “Understand this though, Amelia, whatever you have with Aidan Montgomery ends today.”
Had I been holding anything, I would have dropped it. As it was, my mouth fell open and I couldn’t speak. When my voice finally came, I could only sputter at him. “Excuse me, what?”
The look on Derreck’s face was one of cold, steel determination. “You heard me correctly, Amelia. You will not see that human again. He is a liability and he is not your kind. You need to be focused on finding and building the relationship with your mate.”
How did he even know? I turned to Cole and he refused to meet my eyes.
My heart physically hurt, but I refused to allow the emotion to overtake me. I had already known that Aidan and I weren’t meant to be, but having it put into words, as a proclamation from the only man who could explain who and what I was, was like seeing small pieces of my heart crumble and then be crushed under the thick soles of his boots. How could fate be so cruel to put Aidan in my path, to let me fall for him, to let me feel loved for just being myself for the first time, and then rip him from me so quickly? I blinked back the tears that kept threatening and nodded, which was truly the only thing I could do.
I sat back down and stared out into the room, looking at nothing and wondering where Aidan was and what he was doing. I wondered if he had missed me, or if he was worried. My phone had died on the way here while it kept searching for service, so I hadn’t even had the ability to check it. I didn’t understand why my mind wouldn’t let him go. But, it wasn’t just my mind — my soul ached for him. For the safety of his arms and the soothing tone of his voice. If I closed my eyes and sat still enough, I could even smell him. Citrus and trees. Summer. I could feel myself pressed into his warm chest with his arms around me.
But these thoughts would do me no good. I had to make a clean break. I had to sever all ties. This was too real. What Derreck was saying was too much for Aidan to have to deal with. He wasn’t of my people and that could get him killed. Derreck and Cole were still talking as I abruptly stood, resolute in the fact that Aidan and I had to be over. I turned to them and said, “I want to leave tomorrow. I’m going to bed.” I went through my nightly rituals, put on my favorite sweatshirt and yoga pants, and laid down in the over-sized guest bed.
I thought I would lay awake for hours, but I was out in an instant and slept hard until I awoke screaming. Cole came banging through my bedroom door, Charlie barking his head off not far behind. “Hey….are you okay? Amelia? Amelia!” he shouted.
I was sitting straight up in the center of the king-sized bed with the covers tangled around me, looking around with wild eyes. I was awake, but I wasn’t seeing the room.
I was seeing the woods. I was running through the woods, but I wasn’t me. I was far too close to the ground. The last thing I heard before Cole shook me to my senses was howling.
Derreck and Cole grilled me over breakfast, yet again, about my dream. Something about it felt so weird and personal that I decided to hold back. I told them I had no idea what the dream was about or why I was screaming. Neither of them seemed to believe me, but they also didn’t argue, which I appreciated. I was collecting a vat of my own secrets, I just needed some time to piece it all together.
Before we hit the road, Derreck decided we needed to have one more discussion — in private. Cole gave him an odd look, b
ut shrugged and went out with the dogs.
As Derreck sipped his tea, I squirmed, feeling scrutinized under his gaze.
“You know, we can’t keep doing this thing,” I said as I flapped my hand between us. “This thing where you just stare at me and make me feel like I’m either in trouble or you’re about to drop another bomb. You’ve had enough time to figure out what to say to me all these years you were ignoring me, so just spit it out already.” I sank back in my chair, feeling smug.
“Has anyone ever told you that you are far too honest?” Derreck questioned with a smirk.
“Huh,” I grunted. “Only like every day.”
He chuckled a little. “Well, you are your mother’s daughter, that’s clear enough.” That got a genuine smile from me as my heart warmed a little. No one but Rynna had ever compared me to my mother.
“Well, Amelia, this is another one of those things you aren’t going to love hearing, but it’s been said to every Elder and so it will also be said to you. Your mother should have been the one having the discussion with you, that’s how this is typically done. But, since I am technically an Elder, though just a lowly male, I can do the honors. Your case is especially different, given you are the Keeper, but this is a rite of passage I won’t deny you. You wanted the whole truth and so you shall have it.” He set his cup down and leaned toward me.
I couldn’t help but lean in as well. I was a little apprehensive, but finally being a part of something and not feeling alone was something I couldn’t hold back from. No matter what he had to say.
Seeing he had my full attention, Derreck continued. “There will come a time, Amelia, where you must choose love or duty. You have a duty to your people — not just Mages, but to all of our people — Mages, Hunters, and AniMages, alike. Your duty is to protect them, to honor their ways and to heal their hearts. You are a symbol of all that is good and right. Your magic is a gift, not only the gift that all women of your line carry, but a gift that holds the power of all five families. This gift allows you to rise above those who would tear our people apart and make them weak. Your strength is their strength. Your love is their love. But, they must come first. That’s not to say you won’t love, because you will, but you will love your people first. Do you understand?”
Bound by Duty (Bound Series Book 1) Page 20