“Really? That’s not what Blake told me.”
“Fine, I’m drunk!” he shouted.
“Do you think that I should raise a fucking baby with a drunk?”
“Relax, Spencer. I don’t get drunk every night.” He plopped down on the couch next to me.
“No––you get drunk every week and I am sick of it. I’m the one who always has to take care of you,” I said, standing from the couch as a tear started to roll down my cheek. “I’m going to Ryan’s for the night. I don’t want to look at you right now. I’ll see you when I get back on Sunday night. Maybe by then you will realize that there is more to life than a bottle of vodka.”
“Don’t go. I’ll sober up and then not drink ever again,” he said, trying to reach for my arm to stop me.
“I’m not asking you to not drink ever again. I just want my Brandon back,” I cried.
*~*~*
I didn’t sleep at all as I tossed and turned in Ryan’s guest bed. Brandon and I rarely fought. I had never stormed out of the house before, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Even if it has been just one night a week––it was one night too many.
Our relationship started like a fairytale and now it was turning into a nightmare. I had brushed his drinking under the rug for far too long and I couldn’t live my life like that anymore. People thought we were the perfect couple. Maybe we were, but he didn’t make me happy like I used to be.
From the moment I left our house, Brandon was calling me. I ignored his calls and texts. I wasn’t going to beg him to stop drinking. If drinking was our undoing, then let it be so. I had bounced back from much heartache in my life.
On the drive over to Ryan’s, the song Marry Me by Train came on the radio. At first, it didn’t register in my head until they sang the line about always being happy by his side. Tears rolled down my face, the road blurred in front of me, and my heart broke.
When Brandon and I were planning our wedding and trying to come up with a song to walk down the aisle to, we picked that song. I didn’t want the traditional song; I wanted one that fit our life, and it did.
Ryan and I stayed up well past midnight talking it out. She understood where I was coming from. Max didn’t drink that much, but she knew what it was like to be unhappy in a marriage.
I was dragging at work, waiting for lunch time and time to head to the airport. I wasn’t looking forward to the expo anymore. I was the type to blow up and then move on, but I wanted to move on in person with Brandon. I needed him to realize what he was doing to me. How he was making me feel.
Acyn, Donna and I took a taxi to the airport right after lunch. Brandon was still calling and texting me. I texted him when I got to Ryan’s the night before, letting him know that I had made it to her house and to sleep on everything. Maybe he had, but I didn’t have time to deal with it now.
“Are you okay, Spencer?” Acyn asked, after we got out of the taxi at the airport.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
I thought I was hiding my feelings, but I was wrong.
“You just seem down.”
“I’m just tired.”
I was tired, but of course, I was also depressed. I hated fighting with Brandon and now I wouldn’t see him for three whole nights.
“Luckily we can check into our hotel when we get there and you can take a nap,” Donna said.
“Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”
We didn’t have to be at the expo till the morning to set up.
“Oh,” Acyn said.
Oh?
“Room service and a bed sound really good right now,” I smiled, trying to hide my pain.
We talked about the expo as we flew to L.A. A taxi took us to our hotel near Universal Studios where the expo was being held after we landed. I was tired and I needed to get my mind off my fight with Brandon. I felt bad to leave Acyn and Donna alone in a city that they didn’t know anything about.
“How about we grab dinner later?” I asked, walking towards the elevator to the rooms. “On me.”
“That sounds great,” Donna said, looking over at Acyn.
“Sure,” Acyn said with a twinkle in his eye.
“Let’s meet back down here in,” I said, looking at the clock on my phone. Brandon had texted me again.
Brandon: I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.
“Let’s meet at six,” I continued after reading the text quickly.
“Perfect,” Donna said.
We parted ways. I went up to my room, texted Brandon that I was in L.A. and then drew a bath to relax. I needed to clear my head. Fighting with Brandon was the last thing I wanted to do. He was my best friend, my life, my love.
I held my left arm out of the warm soapy water, looking at the tattoo I got for Brandon’s birthday. The infinity symbol was staring me in the face. This was ridiculous. How could I be so silly? Brandon was a good man. He loved me and I loved him. He would do anything for me.
I knew deep in my heart that if we just talked about it, he would understand what his drinking was doing to me. I needed to tell him that I married a thirty-one year old business man and not an eighteen-year-old college frat boy.
I couldn’t go another night with us fighting. Even though I wanted to do it in person, I couldn’t wait.
“I’m sorry,” were the words Brandon spoke when he answered his phone.
“I know,” I sighed.
“No, really, I am. Spence, you’re my best friend, and I don’t know where I would be without you by my side.”
“Me either,” I said quietly as a tear rolled down my cheek. “I’ve been thinking, and I know you aren’t a drunk.”
“When I see you cry, it makes me want to die. It breaks me inside and I never want to see you that way again…unless they are happy tears.” I heard a smile in his voice. I smiled, too. “I know that I’ve been fucking up since Blake has been here and I’m going to go back to the old Brandon. The one you fell in love with.”
“The one I’m still in love with,” I whispered, tears flowing freely down my face.
“I’m going to make this right, Baby. I know I can’t take back all the times I was drunk, but I’m not going to cross that line again.”
“I told you that I’m not asking you to stop drinking.”
“I know. I understand that it’s the level I got it to. I’m the one to blame in all this––not Blake. Don’t be mad at Blake.”
“How could I not be mad at Blake? He’s the one who influenced you…the one who kept buying you more.”
“But I’m the one who drank them. He didn’t force me to do it.”
“I don’t get why you did. Is our life that bad that you need to mask some sort of pain by getting drunk when out with the guys?”
“No, not at all,” he sighed. “Work has been crazy, Blake makes me crazy and I just needed to blow off steam. I didn’t realize I was hurting you in the process. You never said anything.”
“I know…I should have.”
“Let’s not talk about the past. I’m going to stop. No more sleepless nights, no more tears. I’m going to make this right. You’re my world, my everything, and I don’t want to lose you. Fuck, I’ve been close to losing you twice before because of other people. I am not about to lose you because of me – not when I can fix it.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry and I am going to fix this.”
“Okay, I believe you.”
“I love you with all my heart, Baby.”
“I love you more.”
*~*~*
I covered my tear stained face with make-up and met Acyn and Donna down in the lobby. We walked through City Walk at Universal Studios and ate dinner and had drinks at the Hard Rock Café.
Acyn and Donna were great employees and deserved to be treated. This expo was a big deal for our company. We would have a lot of exposure for new subscribers for the website. Acyn was a master at fitness and knew a lot about nutrition, which was a big part of our website.
Ironically, it was the opposite of what Brandon and Jason needed for Club 24. They needed people to need and want the gym, as well as need personal trainers to help them. Now that our corporation owned both sides of the spectrum, it was a win win.
We walked back to our hotel after dinner, deciding to call it a night. I was exhausted, but I put on a happy face. I was happy. Brandon and I smoothed things over and now I was able to focus on the expo.
“Can I talk to you before you go up?” Acyn asked.
“Of course,” I looked over at Donna. Was she going to stay, too? Please stay.
“I’ll see you both bright and early,” she said with a smile.
Damn it!
“What’s up?” I asked.
Being alone with Acyn was hard. Not because I had feelings for him, but because he always made me feel uncomfortable. Some women are flattered when a guy flirts with them. I admit, it’s nice, but with Acyn, it had gotten to the point where I just didn’t want to be near him.
He was a nice guy. He was hot, but I just didn’t understand why it seemed that he only had eyes for me. He could get any woman he wanted. He had a rock hard body, gorgeous blue eyes and was sweet. He just wasn’t the guy for me.
“Can we grab one more drink? I want to talk to you about something.”
“Um––sure.”
The look in his eye reminded me of the night I saw him at the office holiday party when he sat next to me––before he knew of Brandon. A look of lust.
“First, I want to make sure that you’re okay. You seemed a little sad earlier,” he said as we sat at a small round table and waited for a cocktail waitress.
“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well last night. I’m good,” I said with a smile, trying to hide the truth.
“Everything’s okay with Brandon?”
“Acyn…I’m your boss now; you need to stop.”
“I’ve cared about you far longer than you’ve been my boss.” He smirked.
“I’m married now,” I said dryly.
“Spencer––I’m not going to beat around the bush anymore. You make me want to be everything you need, and I want to put you first. I talk to God even when I’m not in church, praying that you will be mine. And most of all, I want to be the one to make you laugh not cry.”
“I…”
“Let me finish.”
“I can’t, Acyn. I’m married. I’m fucking married to a good man. He is all those things. He’s my everything. Yes, we got in a fight. So what? Couple’s fight. That doesn’t mean that I want to divorce him. You really can’t keep doing this.”
I was livid. People in the small lobby bar were staring at us––enjoying the show.
“I’m in love with you, Spencer.”
“You don’t even know me. You know nothing about me.” I laughed.
“I do. I love your passion, your drive…”
“Stop! Just fucking stop. If you weren’t such a big asset for this company, I would fire your ass right now.”
“You wouldn’t. I saved your life.”
“Is that it? Is that why you think I owe you a chance?”
“No…”
“Did you think that you would get me alone and I would cheat on Brandon?”
“No, I just wanted to tell you how I felt.”
“I’m sorry, Acyn, I can’t. I love Brandon with all of my heart. I would never hurt him that way. You really need to stop this. Move on. Find someone who will make you happy. I’m not that girl.”
“Okay.”
“Is it okay? We’ve had this conversation several times. I’ve set you up with my friends so you would move on.”
“I’ll try.”
“You need to do better than try. If you can’t, I can’t have you working for me anymore.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The expo was packed in the morning and then started to slow down after lunch. We were having great success. People were grabbing flyers, scanning our QR code and signing up for our website right then and there.
I walked around to the other booths that were set up, exploring what others had to offer. I saw some great ideas for promotional items, and on my way back to our booth, I saw Acyn flirting with a brunette. Good for him.
“She could be your twin,” Donna whispered in my ear.
Acyn and the brunette were still flirting. Acyn was showing her easy moves like squatting and how to correctly do a push-up.
“Really? You think so?”
“If not your twin, then she could be your sister.”
“I don’t see it.” I laughed.
I didn’t. I didn’t think the brunette looked like me at all. Ryan looked more like me than this chick.
Acyn must have felt my eyes on him as he turned and smiled at me. I wasn’t jealous. He might think I was staring because I was jealous; however, I was just trying to see what Donna saw to make her think this chick looked like me.
The brunette finally left after getting Acyn’s email address and what I would assume his phone number. Donna was helping another expo-goer as I sat and watched them pitch our company perfectly. Acyn and Donna could handle it alone. They didn’t need me, and I didn’t want a repeat of the night before with Acyn.
“Guys, you two are doing an excellent job,” I said once the people walked away.
“Thanks, Spencer,” Donna said.
“I actually need to head back to San Francisco this afternoon. I need to leave you both to hold down the fort.”
“No problem,” Donna said. “Is everything okay?”
I felt Acyn’s eyes on me as I spoke to Donna.
“Yes, of course. I just need to take care of some pressing business, and since I think the rush is over, you don’t really need the boss hanging around.” I smiled.
I left after giving them a few instructions regarding getting our banners and any extra flyers back to San Francisco. They still needed to handle Saturday’s expo on their own, but I knew they could do it. I needed to go make sure things were okay with Brandon.
After our phone call, we were fine, but I just wanted to see him. I didn’t want our last memory to be bad if anything were to happen. It’s like they say, “Never go to bed angry,” and well, it should also be, “Never leave someone mad because you never know what may happen”.
I arrived at LAX and took a flight back to San Francisco a few hours later. A lot of people traveled for business between the Bay Area and southern California and there were many flights available throughout the day.
I didn’t tell Brandon that I was coming home because I wanted to surprise him. I daydreamed all the way home about us taking a warm bubble bath together and lying in bed for the rest of the weekend, all the while partaking in some much needed make-up sex, over and over.
After landing at SFO, I took a taxi to Club 24, said “hello” to Jennifer at the front desk and made my way up to Brandon’s office with a smile plastered across my face. I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when I opened the door and surprised him.
I wish that I could tell you that I saw that look on his face, but sadly it wasn’t what happened. Have you ever been in a situation that you couldn’t believe you were in? Like going on your dream vacation and it being so surreal that you just couldn’t believe that it was happening in real life? Only, this wasn’t my dream coming true.
Brandon’s blinds were drawn on his office window and his door was closed, but not locked as I turned the knob and stopped dead in my tracks.
I could only see the back of Brandon’s white Club 24 polo shirt he wore every day to work as his hips rocked into a woman with his jeans still around his waist. No clothes were on the floor––it was almost as if they couldn’t wait to fuck.
The woman lifted her head from the desk when she heard the door o
pen, and my world came to a halt.
Teresa Robinson’s eyes met with mine and an evil smile spread across her face as she moaned, “B, right there. That feels so good,” in his ear.
His head was down on her chest as he groaned into it––enough for me to hear the familiar muffled noise.
Why?
Why were the men in my life always cheating on me in their office? I thought Brandon was different. One little fight and he was cheating on me. Or was he cheating on me the whole time and I had just caught him?
I kept my tears at bay as I turned on my heel and ran down the stairs, not closing the door behind me. Let him know that someone saw him. Let her tell him it was me.
“Have a nice day, Mrs. Montgomery,” Jennifer called out to me as I ran past her to the front door.
Mrs. Montgomery. Those two words hit me like a ton of bricks. Who knew words could crush my heart so hard that I felt like I couldn’t breathe? How? Why? I gave that man everything. He was my everything, told me I was his everything, but Mrs. Robinson finally got her claws into him.
A lonely tear rolled down my right cheek as I slammed the door to my black Bimmer once I was inside. I looked around for Brandon’s Range Rover, wanting to smash his headlights and run my key down the side and write “cheating bastard” on every side. My blood was on fire.
My cell phone rang and it was him. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t talk to him. My world was ending and I just couldn’t talk to him. I didn’t want to hear any excuse he gave me. No excuse was good enough. I did everything for him…cared for him with all my heart, pleased him in ways that I thought satisfied him, but obviously it wasn’t enough.
A wave of anger rushed through me as the phone continued to ring. Fuck you, Brandon, I thought and threw my phone at my dashboard, watching it shatter into a few pieces.
I’d been down this road before with TravAss. That time, I was sad. I thought my life was ending. My heart was torn from my body, but this time, I was angry. Brandon knew everything about TravAss. He knew how bad he hurt me––how he crushed my heart, stomping on it after ripping it from my chest. But Brandon was a cheating bastard, too.
I drove the few blocks to Ryan’s as the lone tear rested on my cheek and slowly dried. I pulled in front of Ryan’s house and waited for her to arrive home. I had no way of calling her and hoped she was coming straight home from work. She and Max still held their Friday date night tradition and they were both due home at any minute––I hoped.
Anything Like Me Page 13