A Boy's Christmas Wish

by Patricia Johns

  “Thirty...twenty-nine...twenty-eight...”

  Luke arrived at Dan’s side, and Dan put a hand on his son’s shoulder. Regardless of what was out of their control, regardless of the things they wished for but couldn’t have, it was Christmastime, and there were memories to be made.

  “I always wondered why they started counting so high,” Beth said with a low laugh. “They always did that.”

  “It’s because it’s more exciting that way,” Luke said, leaning to look around Dan. “And because old people are slow.”

  “Don’t call people old, Luke,” Beth said with a small smile. “Your dad told me that it’s rude. We both learned something.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Luke blushed. “Fine. Elderly people are slow.”

  Dan shot Beth a grin—she’d backed him up, and that softened him more than anything else tonight. She turned toward the central tree. She was beautiful still...that hadn’t changed. Beth Thomas had always been able to stop his heart.

  “Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve...” People were counting along now, shouting out the numbers as Santa climbed the stage to the big theatrical button waiting for him.

  “Does that really connect to the lights?” Luke asked dubiously.

  “Yes,” Dan said. “Of course.”

  Luke was growing up, and he was losing faith in the fun things like Santa and big theatrical buttons. But the real world waiting for him wouldn’t be better, or easier, or kinder. Dan was shielding his son from a lot of ugliness that Luke couldn’t even imagine yet, but it was Dan’s job to stand in the way as long as he could, and be a protective shadow. At least, he thought that was his job...

  “Five, four, three—”

  Dan glanced over at Beth just as she did the same and their eyes met. He didn’t know what he was looking for—comfort, maybe? Just some understanding. All he’d ever wanted from Beth was for her to see things from his perspective for once, and maybe forgive him for being less than a superhero.

  The big tree suddenly blazed into light, stripes of green and red light leading up to the top where a golden star shone like a beacon. The first strains of “O Christmas Tree” came out of the speakers, and the crowd oohed and aahed, then sang along.

  “Zero...” Dan murmured.

  O Christmas tree. O Christmas tree. Thy leaves are so unchanging...

  There was truth in those words—Christmas froze this little crystal of hope in people’s hearts despite all the reasons to give up. Life was hard and tiresome, but a Christmas tree represented something both fragile and unchanging: the hope people clung to for family and connection, for some love in this world.

  What did any of them have without hope?

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE THOMAS FAMILY left the park shortly after the Christmas tree was lit. Granny was tired and cold, so Beth said goodbye to Danny and Luke, then followed her father and grandmother back the way they’d come. As they walked, irritation gnawed at Beth’s peace of mind.

  Her father had wanted Beth to come along for this tree-lighting ceremony for the sake of family memories, but once they were there, he’d snapped at Danny and marched off. What good had that done? They all lived in this town, and the Thomases’ downward financial spiral wasn’t Danny’s fault. If anyone could be blamed, it was her father. He’d married someone without thinking things through and had let that new wife call the shots at the business. Amazingly, just after she left, the store went belly-up. Granny seemed to believe that Linda was the reason the store had lasted as long as it had, but Beth wasn’t convinced. At the very least, Linda had recognized that the store was worthless now and she’d ever so sweetly walked off with the solid cash.

  And yet her father blamed Danny—the one person in this situation who had the least to do with the actual store.

  “Dad, it isn’t Danny’s fault,” Beth said as they came inside that evening. She stomped the snow off her boots and helped Granny get her things off.

  “I know.”

  “So...you couldn’t have shaken his hand?” Beth asked. “That was embarrassing. I know you’re the tortured artist around here, but come on!”

  “My issues with Daniel aren’t financial,” Rick said. “I’ve never liked that guy.”

  “Tonight was your idea, Dad.”

  Granny sighed and went the staircase, then looked back. “You two should stop fighting. It’s not good for the baby.”

  Letting a lid off the frustration stewing would probably be beneficial to the baby. Beth was so tired of holding this in, mulling over it when she was alone, letting her words swirl fruitlessly inside her.

  “Don’t worry, Granny,” Beth said. “Dad and I need to hash a few things out.”

  Granny muttered to herself and her footsteps creaked up the stairs as Beth turned back to her father.

  “I had a good talk with Granny when she was lucid,” she said, keeping her voice low. “Granny seems to think that Linda was the reason our store stayed afloat this long.”

  “I ran that store myself!” her father said irritably. He turned away and headed for the fridge.

  “Granny says Linda gave a whole lot of advice. And you took it,” Beth replied.

  “So you think I followed bad advice and ended up losing the family business?” her father demanded, turning back. “So I’m the scatterbrained writer who has no idea about business?”

  “That’s exactly what I think. You’re brilliant, Dad, but not where Linda was concerned.”

  “Because it’s always Linda’s fault, right?” her father quipped. “It’s not like she disappeared, you know. She and I stay in contact, and the store going under had nothing to do with her.”

  Beth stared at him in disbelief. He’d been like a brick wall when it came to Linda, and even after filing for the divorce, he was still defending her?

  “You’re divorcing her!” Beth could almost scream in frustration. “Dad! She left you!”

  “I’m well aware.” That one had hurt him—she could hear it in the quiver of his voice. She didn’t want to hurt him, but there were things that needed to be said.

  “Then why are you defending her?” Beth shook her head. “She is the bad guy here. She walked off with all your investments so that you can’t retire, left a business that she either knew couldn’t last much longer or even sabotaged—”

  “You’re going too far with that one,” her father said tiredly.

  “Fine, I’ll take back the sabotage, but, Dad, you’re doing the same thing you’ve done for the last twenty years—you’re siding with her.”

  Rick leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. It was the same look he’d give her every time she complained to him about Linda—tired, closed off.

  “You didn’t like her from the start,” her father said.

  “And yet you married her,” Beth replied.

  “I was supposed to stay single?” Her father shook his head. “What about my needs? I was lonely! I’d lost my wife, I had two kids to raise and I wanted some companionship, too.”

  “You could have chosen someone else,” Beth shot back. “A better fit for the family!”

  “I chose a good fit for me!” His voice nearly shook the kitchen. “That’s how marriage works! She wasn’t marrying the whole family—she was marrying me!”

  “She was marrying my dad!” Why couldn’t he see the problem? “I was a kid—I was part of that package!”

  “Of course you were, but at the end of the day, you kids were going to grow up and move out—which you both did—and Linda and I would have our twilight years together. If I’d married someone you adored but who I wasn’t as crazy about, where would that have left me? Marriage is about the couple. You chose that idiot Danny, and if he hadn’t dumped the bombshell of some child from another relationship on you, you’d hav
e married him regardless of my feelings!”

  She would have, that was true. But not with kids in the picture.

  “Linda hated me, Dad.”

  “She liked you fine.” Rick shook his head.

  “Liked me fine...that’s what you’re going with?” Beth’s shook her head. “That was your goal for your daughter’s life? You gave me a stepmother who liked me fine?”

  “You weren’t easy on her,” he countered.

  “I was a kid!” Beth rubbed her hands over her face. “I’d lost my mother, Dad. My mom who loved me more than life was dead, and my dad who was supposed to take over and be there for me found his comfort with a woman who was cold and distant. I was left to deal with it all alone!”

  “Linda tried!” There was pleading in her father’s voice. “You wouldn’t let her close. You hated her because she wasn’t your mom, and nothing she did was good enough.”

  No, Beth hadn’t let Linda close, but she would have let her father in. He hadn’t tried. He’d always sent Linda to talk to her instead. She’d wanted her father.

  “I keep coming back to this...” Beth sank onto a kitchen chair. “You chose her, every time. When it came between me and Linda, you chose Linda.”

  “She was the adult, you were the child. It’s what they say you’re supposed to do in a blended family. The adults call the shots. So, yes, I backed Linda up.” Rick sighed. “Beth, you’re angry, and I get that. But I was doing my best for you. A twelve-year-old can’t run her father’s life.”

  The very advice she’d given to Danny—to do what he felt was best for Luke, regardless if Luke agreed. Because kids couldn’t see the bigger picture, nor should they be expected to.

  “A twelve-year-old shouldn’t have been left in the care of an unloving woman,” she said with a sigh. “Linda didn’t like me, and she didn’t hide it. She treated me like an unwanted problem. Then she cozied up to you. I don’t know what she told you, but whatever it was, you believed her. Because I tried telling you over and over again that I was miserable, I was lonely, I felt misunderstood.”

  “I’m sorry,” her father said quietly. “I thought—” He sighed. “I didn’t realize.”

  “The thing is, Dad,” Beth said quietly, “you didn’t know because Linda wouldn’t let you have any time alone with me.”

  Rick was silent for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Okay, I see that one. I should have spent more time with you, just the two of us.”

  “But Linda didn’t like it,” she confirmed.

  “She felt left out,” Rick said. “We were supposed to be a family, and she wanted to be a part of things. I saw the softer side of Linda that she didn’t show most people. She wanted to get along with you, kiddo. She really did.”

  Beth ran her fingers through her hair, pulling the errant strands away from her face. “I understand falling in love, Dad. I loved Danny with my whole heart, but I knew I couldn’t be a stepmother. I knew that. I was willing to walk away because I couldn’t be the stepmom his child needed.”

  “Your mom died.” Her father’s voice shook. “I couldn’t stop that. I couldn’t make her get better. And I tried so hard... When she died, I saw the hole that her death left in your heart, and I thought that if I gave you a stepmother, it could fix some of that pain.”

  “You were always enough, Dad.”

  They fell silent, and Beth met her father’s gaze across the kitchen. She could see now that her father had tried, but he’d gotten it wrong. Just like Danny was trying, and maybe she was giving miserable advice because she couldn’t see the whole picture, either. Everyone was just hoping for the best...

  “How can I make it up to you?” her father asked at last.

  “Just stop defending Linda.”

  Rick smiled sadly. “Okay.”

  Beth nodded, swallowed. She felt wrung out, and tears rose in her throat.

  “Can I hug my little girl?” her father asked hopefully.

  Beth pushed herself to her feet and crossed the room. Her father wrapped his arms around her. He pressed a kiss onto the top of her head just like he used to, and she let out a shaky sigh.

  “I’m sorry,” her father said again. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Beth nodded against his shoulder, but she didn’t have any words right now. Very soon, she’d have a daughter of her own, and that daughter wouldn’t stay a baby. Beth could plan for success all she wanted, but that didn’t mean Riley wouldn’t have her own complaints one day.

  But of one thing she was absolutely certain: the children needed to come first. It might be painful, and it might mean sacrifice, but Beth couldn’t put up with anything less. Riley would always come first.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING, Dan stood in the middle of the store and looked around. Luke had the day off school—a professional development day for the teachers. Luke had been planning on playing video games at home, but Dan had other plans for him. Today, Dan wanted his son to see the bones of the store they’d be running together.

  That morning, Dan had come across a note Ralph had written to his wife, and Dan had texted Beth that he’d found something she might be interested in, but he hadn’t spoiled the surprise. He had a feeling this might be one of the treasures she’d been hoping for—the piece of family history connected to her grandparents’ love story. He was hoping that his own family could build just as much history in this exact spot, except he was doing this alone. The legacy that he was starting didn’t include romance yet.

  “What if I mess up?” Luke had been worrying about the pageant all morning.

  “You won’t. You know your lines,” Dan said.

  “But I might get nervous and forget them.”

  “Nah.” Dan shook his head. “Not going to happen. Quit worrying, Luke. You know those lines.”

  Luke didn’t look convinced. “What if I faint?”

  Luke had suddenly realized at about ten o’clock last night that he’d be performing in front of half the town, and he’d started to panic a little bit. He’d been thinking up worst-case scenarios ever since.

  Dan laughed. “Faint? Are you seriously worried about that?”

  “It’s possible!” Luke retorted.

  Luke needed some distraction, and Dan knew exactly what to try—knocking apart shelves. Dan could do the job by himself a lot faster, but including Luke in the project was worth more to him right now.

  “Aren’t you curious what we’re going to be doing today?” Dan asked.

  Luke looked around. “What?”

  “We’re going to finish taking out the last of the shelves,” Dan said. “Then we’ll start getting ready to paint the walls.”

  “That’s a lot of work.” Luke didn’t look quite so enthusiastic as Dan felt.

  “Yeah, but think of how great it’ll look once it’s done,” Dan replied. “Over there will be the counter for the cash register. We’ll put in brand-new shelves, and that wall over there will be for displays of miter saws and drills and that sort of thing.”

  “Oh.” Luke squinted.

  “And I’ll let you run the cash register,” Dan added.

  “You will?” He had the boy’s interest now. “I could take the money and everything?”

  “Sure! You just have to know how to count money. Can you do that?”

  “I count my own money,” Luke replied.

  “That’s a start,” Dan said. “We’ll practice so you’re ready. But you’ll be helping me to run this place, Luke. We’ll be doing it together. I wanted to call the store Brockwood Tools because we’re the Brockwood men.”

  “Can you call it Luke’s Tools?” Luke asked.

  “No.” Danny laughed. “But nice try.”

  “If I help paint, will you pay me?” Luke asked.

  “No,” Danny said. “We�
��re doing this because we’re the Brockwood men, and this is our store. But when you start at the store after school, I’ll start to pay you a bit.”

  “A real paycheck?” Luke’s eyes lit up.

  “That’s right. You’ll have earned it.”

  Luke nodded slowly, his gaze moving around the store with new energy. Dan could see the store materializing in Luke’s mind’s eye, and together, they’d make that vision a reality. It was a priceless lesson to teach a boy—how to turn an idea into a fact—and Dan was excited to be able to start this venture when Luke was old enough to glean some hands-on experience.

  “So let’s get this place cleaned up,” Dan said. “What do you say?”

  “Okay!” Luke looked around. “What do we do first?”

  “Take this hammer,” Dan said. “We’re going to start knocking apart those old shelves. Then we’ll take them outside.”

  That was the kind of job a kid could get behind—demolition. Luke took the hammer and headed for the first shelf.

  “Now, use your head,” Dan said. “You want to hit the joints so that they’ll break apart. Don’t just smack stuff randomly, okay?”

  “Yeah, I get it.” Luke used tools with his dad all the time, so Dan wasn’t too worried. It would be helpful and use up a bunch of eight-year-old energy at the same time...maybe even burn off some of that pageant anxiety. Dan called that a parenting win.

  The door opened just as Luke made his first connection with the wood, and Beth startled. She was in her cream-colored winter coat, her belly peeking out the front. She brushed a blond tendril out of her face.

  “Hi!” Dan said. “Sorry, we’re just breaking apart some shelves.”

  “Oh...” She nodded. “Of course.” Her gaze lingered on the hammer before she purposefully looked away. The pained look on her face dampened Dan’s enthusiasm slightly. It was hard to plan your own future in the sight of someone else’s heartbreak.

  “I came across something I think you’ll want,” Dan said, fishing the piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it over.

  Beth opened the crinkling page and scanned the contents. She looked up, amazed.