Uncommon Emotions

by Lynn Galli

  Forcing myself to take a bite of the dessert I didn’t want but had ordered to draw out our time together, I barely registered that her expression had moved from guilt to sorrow to determination. “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” she admitted softly.

  I set down my fork and swallowed the suddenly bitter tasting cheesecake. “I asked you to. I wanted you to.”

  “You’re straight,” she accused without malice and so quietly I had to lean forward to hear. “We shouldn’t—I shouldn’t have.”

  “You think you took advantage? I was the one who stopped you from leaving.”

  “I can’t do this.” Her gaze turned steely.

  “Again,” I added what I assumed she’d left out.

  “Pardon?”

  “You meant to say that you can’t do this again, didn’t you?” A look of surprise then confusion came over her face.

  Before it went all the way to denial, I continued, “You’ve shown reluctance to act before, which tells me that you’ve had experience with this and the result made you want to ensure that it never happens again.” Deep breaths pumped through her torso as she glanced around the deserted restaurant patio. “You’re right.”

  “And you’re certain that I’m like this person or persons who made you swear off potential relationships?” She shook her head, looking down. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.”

  I waited until her head came up and locked eyes with her. “Thank you. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met either.”

  We held the stare a moment longer before she reached for her water glass. She took her time sipping from the glass, as if the liquid would provide her with the indisputable argument she’d need to end this topic. “I won’t let myself be some test of curiosity; I’m too old for a fling; and I’m uninterested in a one-night stand.”

  “I wouldn’t use anyone like that, much less you; I’ve had my limit of flings; and I never saw the appeal of a one-night stand.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying.” Her voice carried a heaviness that comes from deep hurt.

  “I know that when you pulled away from our kiss last night I felt like you took my balance from me. I can’t concentrate, and for someone who compartmentalizes nearly everything, losing concentration is more than off-putting.”

  “This isn’t like what you’re used to.”

  “I should hope not.”

  The waiter interrupted us with the check. I quickly handed over my credit card to limit his interruptions.

  Unfortunately, his appearance quieted Raven. We didn’t speak again until we were back in the car with me behind the wheel. She hadn’t even been tempted to drive this time.

  “There are no guarantees at the start of any relationship,” I said after making a series of turns to get back on the two lane highway toward her house.

  “I know that, but there are more things for you to consider with this one,” Raven retorted gravely. “This wouldn’t be like entering a relationship with a man where if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t shocked your family and friends.”

  “I can’t worry about that.” The idea hadn’t even entered my mind until she’d mentioned it. Would something like this shock my family and friends? Marco hadn’t cared. Well, he’d cared that Raven obviously meant a great deal to me.

  So much, that I wasn’t worried about anything other than her.

  “You should,” she came back immediately. After a long silence, she added, “Right now, this is only an attraction. One we can both fight. One that doesn’t have to change your whole world.”

  Slowing to pull into her driveway, I thought of a dozen different arguments. With every switchback in her drive, a new direction presented itself for my response. As I shut off the engine in front of her house, I realized nothing but the truth would work. “It already has,” I admitted.

  A faint moan left with her breath. She turned to face me with that expression of desire, asking for me to touch her.

  My fingers brushed the back of her hand and onto her forearm. Goose bumps rose in their wake. That sound escaped again, and she twisted to open the door. She was out so quickly I barely remembered opening my door and darting around the car to meet her.

  “Raven, wait.”

  “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” She spoke in a voice laced with anguish.

  “I know that when I’m around you I feel things that I’ve only ever heard about.” In fact, those pesky feelings were making it difficult to speak right now. My throat felt dry and swollen. “I never understood what friends were talking about when they’d tell me they couldn’t control themselves around someone they were attracted to. Not until you. I thought I was going to burn from the inside out if you didn’t kiss me last night. Not just smoldering warmth or a brief hot flash, but actually char with a blaze that could reduce me to ashes. I’ve waited my whole life to feel desire like this. I hope that’s what I’m doing to you.” Her eyes widened at my admission, breath pumping faster through her chest. Slowly she brought her hands up, reaching and retreating in a silent battle until, finally, they landed on my shoulders. “God help me, but I can’t stop,” she whispered, pulling me into her.

  When her lips met mine, I fell against her. My car stopped us from tumbling to the ground. Our hands and tongues and mouths caressed and embraced and worshiped until the sensations threatened to inundate my sensibilities.

  “I can’t—”

  She wrenched her lips from mine at the start of my plea.

  Tears threatened to escape her eyes. “We need to stop this.”

  “No,” I denied firmly, capturing her face in my hands. “I was going to say that I can’t stay upright much longer. I don’t want to stop.” One of the tears made a break for her cheek. At the look of relief on her face, I swiped my fingers across the tear. “Take me to bed, Raven,” I implored in a husky voice that I now possessed because of my desire.

  Those expressive eyes showed a flash of fear before the passion took over. Her right hand slid to my left and laced our fingers together. With a gentle tug, we were moving toward her house.

  Chapter 16

  It wasn’t until she’d guided me to her bedroom that the apprehension hit me. I’d never been nervous about sex before. I’d never had reason to be because I’d never cared enough about the person to be nervous. That realization alone caused borderline panic.

  “You’re incredibly beautiful when you’re nervous.” Raven’s tentative smile eased some of my apprehension.

  The breath I’d been holding let out as I grabbed her waist. “It’s not because…”

  “I’m a woman?”

  No, that’s definitely not it. I’d had plenty of practice with what a woman likes sexually, or at least what I liked.

  No, my nervousness centered on my own responses which, up until now, had always been lackluster when it came to sex. Her hesitant look grew fearful with my silence, so I rushed to assure her. “That doesn’t worry me. You’re so beautiful and amazing, Raven. I want to please you.” Her face glowed with soft surprise and delight from my admission. “You please me by wanting to be here, Joslyn.

  You don’t have anything to be nervous about.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. Tenderly she told me with her confident exploration how much she was already pleased. The blaze of heat from her kiss scorched all remaining hesitation.

  My fingers started working the buttons of her shirt, following orders my mind had never issued before. I’d always let my partner take the lead, but now I finally understood frantic need. “And sexy. Did I mention how sexy you are?”

  Brown eyes brushed shut when my fingertips slid across her skin. She moaned softly, and the temperature in the room rose dramatically. I wanted out of these clothes, I wanted to feel myself against her, I wanted to feel her touch.

  I couldn’t ever remembering feeling anything as desperately as I wanted to feel her.

  Shedding clothes had never been as erotic as this. I couldn’t seem to get enough
of her pliant, firm skin or her giving, insistent lips. Forcing myself to step back, my eyes raked down her slender body. Beguiling, alluring, tempting, no single word was adequate enough for her perfection.

  “You’re even more divine than I imagined,” she whispered, her eyes taking the same leisurely stroll that mine enjoyed. The gaze warmed my skin. “If I don’t touch you soon, I may implode.”

  “Can I—I need…” Assailing thoughts tangled with alien emotions, making it difficult to speak.

  “Do whatever feels good, Jos. Please, just soon.” She somehow understood that I needed to touch and explore.

  She stepped forward, filling the gap between us. As her naked flesh kissed mine for the first time, I gasped, unable to isolate what gave me the most pleasure. Softness like I’d never felt slid against me and my skin erupted in gooseflesh. The responding chill sparked a surprising moan from deep inside me.

  My lips sought the sinewy connection between her powerful shoulder and graceful neck. Tasting that part of her, taking in her scent, my eyes squeezed shut to calm the flood of giddiness. I brought my hands to her flat stomach, splaying my fingers up along her ribs. A tremor rippled through her as my hands inched higher, studying every sinuous plane. Reaching the swell of her upturned breasts, my breath hitched and my heart clobbered against my chest cavity.

  A rhythmic thumping sped up to a rapid hammering under my hand. Her breathing matched the speed of her heart rate and soft sighs led the way to breathy moans. “I have to touch you, Jos. Please let me.”

  “Anything, Raven.” I tipped my head back, breathless from her urgent tone. “Everything.” Her hands immediately moved up from her sides to my waist. The touch set me ablaze, spurring on my own exploration. I filled my hands with her breasts, testing the buoyant heft, flicking my thumbs over her dark brown nipples. The already hardened peaks grew rigid against my thumb pads.

  “God, yes,” she moaned, flattening her hands against the small of my back and pushing out over the crest of my rear. She tilted into my body, and I pushed back with equal need. “Lie down,” she ordered hoarsely. “I need to feel all of you.”

  I leaned back, taking her with me onto the bed. We inched backward, mouths connected, hands searching, until we found ourselves somewhere in the middle of the bed.

  She left my mouth and moved down my throat. Her silky hair caressed my jaw and her lips pulled exquisitely on my neck. I looked down the length of the body covering mine until she sensed my plea and turned her face up to look at me.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered as her lips claimed mine again.

  When her hands grasped my breasts, I’d found bliss. She knew how to touch perfectly, expertly, giftedly. With fingers, palms, knuckles, even the backs of her hands, she used everything to feel. She wasn’t touching for her own gratification as had been the extent of my experience before.

  No, she touched to give me pleasure, and I knew instinctively that my pleasure would make her feel more.

  A leg nudged between my thighs. I spread them willingly. She shifted to lie between them, holding herself above me on her elbows. Slowly, she lowered her weight onto me, and the sensation nearly made me cry out from excitement.

  “Okay?” she asked with concern as my eyes must have flashed the clutter of emotions I could no longer hide.

  “Yes, yes.” Or I would be if I could just get control of my heartbeat, and breathing, and stop trembling.

  “You feel so good, so excited.” She took an earlobe between her teeth, ramping up the tremble to a full-blown shiver.

  I realized the fire I’d been feeling had caused an arousal like I’ve never known. The moistness of my past sexual encounters didn’t begin to describe what felt like the flood now between my legs. God, what was she doing to me? The perplexing notion flew out of my mind the second her mouth attached itself to my breast.

  “Raven,” I groaned, unable to believe that someone could be this talented at pulling pleasure from my body. Sex had never felt this amazing before. If I were being truthful, I’d have to admit that I’d never really understood what all the hype was about. Now, with her soft body over mine, her mouth and hands working me like she knew every secret pleasure zone, I finally got it. The revelation distracted me so much I wasn’t entirely aware that her head had settled between my legs. Hot breath blew onto my over sensitized flesh, and the smoothness of her face made my thighs twitch with unrest.

  “I’m going to taste you.” Raven’s eyes locked with mine before she moved forward and ran her tongue along my drenched core.

  I bucked at the feeling then groaned when her mouth affixed itself to me. Nothing could have prepared me for this. Oh, I’d experienced oral sex before, but never with such expertise. Her mouth took me in, stroked me, pleasured me, loved me. In that moment, I felt a surge of panic inundate my system as I realized I wouldn’t be able to convince her that I’d climaxed. She would know; she’d have to, especially in her position right now. Oh, hell! Why hadn’t I thought about this before I went to bed with her? Would she be discouraged with my inability to orgasm?

  When the panic tightened every muscle in my body, I reached down under her arms and gently tugged. Her mouth left me, eyes searching with question. “Up here,” I coaxed.

  “Let me make you come first.” Her tongue reached forward again, making me hiss.

  “Please, Raven,” I pleaded. “I need to touch you.”

  “Oh, honey, anything you want,” she assured when my voice cracked with desperation. She crawled up to kiss me with those lips that had given me more pleasure than I’d ever known.

  Urgently, I rolled her onto her back, pressing my weight onto her. When I could wait no longer, I tore free of her mouth and slipped down her body, pulling gently on every inch of velvety skin. She was so smooth, soft but firm, so different from anything I’d ever known, but so perfect.

  Reaching her breast, I lashed my tongue against the pebbled nipple, wanting to tease before I tasted. Her sudden intake of breath told me she enjoyed the teasing. I pulled the nipple into my mouth, flicking and sucking, basking in the moans that escaped her.

  I straddled her thigh, nearly biting the tip in my mouth when my engorged clitoris rubbed against the crest of her hip. This heightened reaction was so foreign to me that I didn’t know how to deal with it all. My hand felt its way down her abdomen, loving how her silky skin seemed to jump into my fingertips. When neither of us could stand the delay, I delved my fingers through her slick folds.

  “Yes, Jos, that feels amazing. I’m so close already. I don’t think I’m going to last.”

  “Don’t hold back, lovely,” I groaned, my head pounding with ecstasy. My fingers swirled around, mapping the creases and ridges and valleys of her sodden flesh. Teasing and tantalizing until a finger chafed her clit directly.

  “Oh God, oh, oh, Jos!” Raven shouted just before her hips bucked against my hand. I felt the orgasm slash through her and watched the flush of her skin under my mouth. Perspiration beaded everywhere as ripples tensed and relaxed each of her muscles. The pulsations against my fingers felt almost as good as the sight of her head and shoulders jerking against the bedspread. A rush of power crashed into me at the realization that I’d given her such pleasure.

  Before she’d fully recovered I resituated my face between her legs to study the twitch of the glistening pink folds. An overwhelming need to taste her tore at my being. I kissed the shiny skin of her inner thigh, heading toward the only taste that would quench my craving.

  “Oh, honey,” Raven sighed breathlessly as she reached for me. “Let me finish making love to you now.”

  “You said anything I want, lovely.” I was too close to her center to stop now.

  Her head dropped back to the bed with a groan. “I like the sound of that.”

  I grinned wickedly at her. “Letting me do anything?”

  “That, too, but I like when you call me that.”

  “Good, now let me do anything all over you, lovely,” I commanded
playfully.

  With a moan, she complied, inching her legs wider. I nipped at the tender skin of her thigh, watching her open more for me. Her eagerness and trust squeezed at my heart with exquisite pressure. A muskier version of her scent slammed against me when I lowered my head to her very being. The first gush of flavor sated my tongue like no other taste I’ve encountered. Her satiny flesh quivered in my mouth as I licked every surface, missing nothing but her clitoris. She’d liked the teasing before, and I felt like I could taste and tease all night.

  “God, Jos, please!” she begged.

  Before my tongue found her clit, I fastened my lips to her hood, sucking first then let my tongue join in. Her thighs closed around my head, and she pressed harder into my mouth. My hands clutched her firm ass, pulling her closer.

  This felt so natural I couldn’t believe I’d never found it before.

  I laved my tongue to her opening and thrust inside, once, twice, and again before her labored breathing and moans told me she was close to the threshold. I moved back up and sucked her extended need into my mouth, lapping at her until she cried out my name and crashed into another orgasm.

  “Oh yeah, oh wow! Jos, that was fantastic.” She pulled me up to lie on top of her. The friction I felt nearly made me scream with delight. I’d never been this close to the edge with anyone before.

  Her lips cherished my face like she had last night. When her mouth fused to mine, she rolled me over, pinning me under her. Her eyes danced with desire while her hands touched my breasts again. I tried to stem the panic I felt, hoping I wouldn’t disappoint her with my noncompletion.

  She replaced her fingers with her mouth and let her hand drift downward. I seized up, the frenzy of sensations so wild and unfamiliar. A throaty chuckle sounded just before her mouth dipped quickly to my frazzled need.

  When she sucked me into her mouth, I skittered along the precipice, willing myself to tumble over. Begging and pleading with my body and mind for release. What felt like a tingle of that unattainable swirl flashed through my belly.