Monstrous Maud: Freaky Sleepover

by A. B. Saddlewick

  Brisk footsteps echoed down the corridor outside.

  “I recognise the sound of those high heels,” said Paprika. His skin was even paler than usual, and his hands were trembling. “It’s Mum!”

  Maud gulped. Penelope swallowed. If Isabel reacted, no one could see. Mrs Von Bat was a genuine vampire, and even Mr Von Bat was frightened of her.

  “Get in the wardrobe,” said their teacher. “Hurry!”

  Maud, Paprika and Penelope clambered into the dusty wooden cupboard.

  “Your elbow is squashed in my face,” whispered Penelope.

  “Sorry,” said Maud. “But it’s got nowhere else to go.”

  “What about that massive empty space next to you?” asked Penelope.

  “It’s not empty,” said Isabel. “I’m here.”

  “What are you doing in here, you idiot?” hissed Penelope.

  “You don’t need to hide!”

  “Sorry,” said Isabel. “I didn’t want to be left out.”

  Through a small keyhole, Maud could make out Mr Von Bat cowering in front of his dressing table, while his wife stood over him with her arms folded.

  “The scene in the dining room was adequate,” she said. “But the less said about the rest, the better. As for the blood-drinking, it was quite the worst I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot.”

  “Oh,” said Mr Von Bat. “I thought the audience was rather enjoying it.”

  “Nonsense,” said Mrs Von Bat. “They were bored to tears. And I didn’t like the way that young Miss Bloom was looking at you either.”

  “She was only acting, dear.”

  “A likely story.”

  A feather from a boa at the top of the wardrobe floated down next to Maud’s nose. She held her breath, desperate to avoid sneezing.

  “ACHOO!” A loud sneeze rang out next to Maud. “Sorry,” said Isabel.

  Through the keyhole, Maud saw Mrs Von Bat turn to look at the cupboard. “What was that?” she asked.

  She stepped over to the wardrobe, her high heels clacking on the floor, and reached out for the handle.

  Behind her, the door swung open, and Maud’s mum appeared, carrying a clipboard.

  “Places for Act Two,” she said, and darted off.

  Mrs Von Bat turned away from the cupboard and strutted over to the door. “You’d better improve your performance in the second half,” she said. “Don’t let me down.”

  When she’d gone, Mr Von Bat opened the wardrobe door, and they all piled out again, gasping for air.

  “Right,” said Mr Von Bat. “You need to find the creature and keep it away from the audience. I need to be back on stage. My public awaits.”

  With a swirl of his cape, Mr Von Bat straightened his fangs and strode out.

  “Three of us have got no chance against that flying monster!” said Penelope.

  “The four of us,” said Maud. “Isn’t that right, Isabel?”

  There was no reply.

  “I think she’s gone,” said Paprika. “She got upset when Penelope called her an idiot.”

  “Well, we don’t have time to look for her now,” said Maud. “We need to find that vampster before it ruins my mum’s show.”

  They walked out into the corridor, this time taking a right turn down a passageway that led directly behind the stage. Maud could hear the piano tinkling away again, announcing the start of the second half.

  Paprika held his hand up to stop them.

  “Can you hear that?”

  “What?” asked Maud.

  “Squeaking,” said Paprika.

  “It’s probably just Maud’s wimpy rat,” said Penelope.

  Maud checked inside her pocket and saw Quentin staring up at her with his wide black eyes. He certainly looked frightened, but he wasn’t making a sound.

  Maud stepped over to a set of double doors leading off the passageway. Paprika was right. There was a shrill squeaking coming from the other side.

  Maud swung the doors open to reveal a large kitchen lit by a flickering striplight. A horde of mice skittered out, squealing in fright.

  Maud ventured inside. There was a small white fridge in the corner with its door swinging open. A yoghurt pot, a pint of milk and an empty ham packet were scattered underneath.

  “It doesn’t look as if she found much in there,” said Paprika. “She’ll still be hungry.”

  They passed through the door at the back of the kitchen and emerged into another murky corridor.

  “There!” shouted Paprika.

  At the end of the corridor, Maud saw a small white shape flit into a room marked .

  Maud rushed into the room after Violet and flicked on the light switch. Nothing happened. She tried it again, but the room remained dark.

  “Guard the door,” said Maud to Penelope. “Grab her if she flies past.”

  Penelope nodded.

  As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, Maud could make out rows of pirate hats, genies’ lamps and wooden swords. She noticed a closed cupboard in the corner of the room. She put one finger to her lips and pointed with the other.

  Paprika nodded.

  Together they edged towards the wardrobe.

  “Get ready to catch her if she leaps out,” Maud murmured.

  Paprika grabbed a butterfly net from one of the shelves and held it in front of the cupboard. Maud inched open the first door, expecting to be greeted by a pair of unblinking purple eyes.

  A huge brown shape with empty eye sockets leapt out at her.

  Maud screamed and threw it to the ground. But as she glanced down, she saw the object was just a crumpled bear costume.

  Maud opened the second door, revealing a grinning plastic skull.

  “It looks like Bartholomew Bones from 2C,” said Paprika.

  “All the Bones brothers look the same to me,” muttered Penelope.

  Maud crept around the room, looking under plastic crates and lifting up costumes.

  “I don’t understand where she could have gone,” said Maud. “You didn’t let her escape, did you?”

  “Of course not,” said Penelope. “You just need to look harder.”

  Maud turned back to Paprika in time to see something flat and slimy fall down on to his shoulder.

  “What is it?” he yelped. “Get it off me!”

  “It’s a slice of ham,” said Maud.

  “Uh-oh,” said Paprika, pointing above their heads.

  Maud looked up and saw Violet hanging from a loose ceiling panel. She was chewing another of the ham slices and staring at them. Suddenly, her glowing eyes turned from purple to red, and she dropped towards Maud.

  Maud swung her arms up to try and catch the plummeting vampster, but the furry fiend swerved out of the way.

  “Grab her!” shouted Maud.

  “I’m trying,” said Paprika, swinging his butterfly net around and knocking hats and swords off the shelves.

  Penelope rushed over from the doorway and flailed around in the darkness.

  “I’ve found her!” she shouted.

  A squeak of pain rang out from Maud’s pocket.

  “That’s Quentin,” said Maud. “Stop squeezing him!”

  Just then, Maud spotted Violet’s red eyes glaring at her from a shelf at the side of the room. She lunged forward, but at the same moment, Paprika’s butterfly net swished down on to her head, sending her crashing to the floor.

  “I’ve got her,” said Paprika.

  “That’s me!” shouted Maud.

  Penelope reached for Violet, but she tripped over Maud and landed on top of her.

  Maud scrambled free and got back to her feet, only to see Violet’s silhouette flapping out of the door.

  By the time Maud had raced back into the kitchen, the vampster was swooping around the corner. Maud darted after her and found herself back in the corridor that led down to the side of the stage. Mr Von Bat was standing at the end, smoothing down his shirt and taking deep breaths.

  “Watch out, Sir!” shouted Maud.

 
Mr Von Bat gaped as Violet whooshed down the corridor towards him. He tried to cower away from her but she dug her claws into his collar. The teacher screamed as his toes left the ground, and the vampster dragged him out on to the stage.

  Maud ran after them, leaping over the power cables on the floor. Behind her, Paprika tripped over one of them and fell flat on his face. There was a loud fizzing noise and a fountain of sparks from the cable, then the lights in the corridor and in the auditorium went out.

  “Oops!” said Paprika.

  Maud leapt out on to the side of the stage. Miss Bloom was lying on a bed in a nightdress, looking confused. The only light still working was a bright spotlight, which was fixed on Mr Von Bat as he writhed around under Violet’s grip, with his arms and legs flapping wildly.

  Violet flew up into the air, lifting Mr Von Bat over the coffin and up above the audience. The crowd gasped, as he floated above them, trying to struggle free of Violet.

  On stage, Miss Bloom sat up on the bed, craning her neck to follow Mr Von Bat as he swirled over the auditorium. “I’m sure this isn’t in the script,” she said.

  Mr Von Bat kicked his legs so violently that one of his shoes dropped off and fell on to the lap of a woman wearing a green dress, who leapt out of her seat. Maud could see several other audience members shuffling around uncomfortably now.

  “We’ve got to do something,” said Maud. “Mum will be so upset. Could you try casting the sleeping spell, Penelope?”

  “Not really,” said Penelope. “It’s a bit hard to control. What if I send the audience to sleep instead? I don’t think the cast would be very happy about that.”

  Violet swooped back towards the front of the auditorium, still carrying the squirming body of Mr Von Bat. This was a disaster! But just as the vampster reached the stage, the huge red safety curtain came crashing down, curtain rings and all, dragging her to the stage with a mighty crash. The audience could still see everything on stage, but at least the vampster was trapped.

  For a moment, everyone was silent with shock. Then Mr Von Bat crawled out from under the heavy fabric, rubbing his head. The curtain material lurched up and down as the vampster tried to free herself.

  Suddenly, Maud had an idea. “Quick,” she hissed to Paprika, “set off the smoke machine.” Then she turned to Penelope and said, “Open the coffin and get ready!”

  Paprika flicked the switch on the small black box at the side of the stage, and dry ice flooded out.

  Maud sneaked through the thickening fog to the fold under which Violet was straining. She lifted it up carefully and the vampster flapped out in a daze. Straight away, Maud grabbed her by the wings and shoved her into the open coffin.

  Penelope slammed the lid shut and sat on it beside Maud. The coffin rattled as it sank beneath the stage, taking them with it.

  As they descended through the billowing fog to the cramped room beneath, the spotlight above them went out at last, and the theatre erupted into loud applause.

  Paprika came pounding down the stairs. “Hop on!” said Maud.

  Paprika plonked himself down between the girls. Underneath them, the coffin jerked back and forth as Violet tried to escape, squeaking at the top of her voice. It reminded Maud of the time her dad drove their car down a bumpy lane to show off the suspension, and made everyone travel sick.

  Above the applause of the crowd, Maud heard someone else coming down the steps. She recognised the flat blue shoes, grey trousers and green blouse before she saw the person’s face. It was her mum. Maud’s heart sank.

  “What are you lot doing here?” Mrs Montague asked, frowning at them from behind her big, round spectacles. “You weren’t supposed to leave the house.”

  “It’s perfectly fine,” said Maud. “I can explain. We … er …”

  Maud tried to come up with something that would convince her mum, but she couldn’t think of anything. Perhaps she should just tell the truth.

  “It’s because Maud wanted to see your show,” said Penelope. “She was really upset when she wasn’t allowed to go because she was so proud of you and Mr Montague. She just knew you’d pull it off.”

  Maud looked over at Penelope in confusion. Was it possible that the witch was actually being nice to her?

  “And just listen to the crowd,” said Paprika. “They loved it.”

  “Yes, I suppose they did,” said Mrs Montague, a smile forming on her lips. But then she looked down at Maud and frowned again. “But it doesn’t matter why you wanted to come. You still left the house without permission, and I’m very disappointed.”

  “Sorry,” said Maud.

  The cheering above them got even louder.

  “Maybe you should go and take a bow,” said Paprika. “It sounds like the crowd are demanding it.”

  “Well, I suppose … Oh very well,” said Mrs Montague, clacking back up the steps. “But I’ll deal with you later.”

  Maud sighed. “Thank goodness the curtain fell down. That’s a stroke of luck,” she said.

  “Luck?” said a familiar voice beside them. “Luck had nothing to do with it.”

  “Isabel!” said Maud. “Thanks for that.”

  “Maybe I’m not such an idiot after all,” said Isabel.

  “Yes, fine,” said Penelope, grumpily. “I’m sorry, okay?”

  Maud realised that the coffin wasn’t moving any more.

  “What should we do about you-know-who?” asked Paprika, nodding downwards.

  “I’m not sure,” said Maud. “She seems to have calmed down.”

  Maud stepped down from the coffin and put her ear to the side. All she heard was a gentle scratching. “I think it’s safe,” she said.

  Penelope and Paprika stood up, and Maud inched the coffin lid open. Violet was sitting calmly at the bottom and staring up at them. Her eyes had returned from red to violet, and her wings were tucked back up into her fur. In fact, she looked pretty much as she’d done the day Mr Quasimodo first handed her over.

  “I think she’s gone tame again,” said Maud. She scooped Violet up in her hands and examined her. Inside her pocket, she could feel Quentin trembling.

  “It’s alright, Quentin,” said Maud. “I don’t think she’s going to ratnap you again.”

  “I’d keep an eye on her,” said Paprika. “Just in case.”

  Maud held Violet carefully in front of her as she walked up the stairs between Paprika and Penelope. Isabel – invisibly – followed them.

  They trundled back down the corridor, then found their way through a series of passages to the bright foyer.

  Mr Von Bat was in front of the concession stand, accepting a bunch of flowers from a young woman. His cheeks were flushing red, and he was beaming with pride as he greeted his fans.

  Maud’s mum and dad were over by the door, chatting to delighted members of the audience.

  “The costumes were top notch,” said a lady in a purple coat. “And the special effects were absolutely outstanding. I couldn’t see the wires at all.”

  “The finale was better than anything we’ve ever seen in the West End,” said a man in a tweed jacket. “How on earth did you pull it off?”

  Mrs Montague smiled. “A good magician never reveals her secrets.”

  “Especially when she doesn’t know them herself,” muttered Paprika.

  Over at the concession stand, Mrs Von Bat had come to join her husband and was glaring at the woman who’d given him the flowers.

  “We’d better go before Mum sees me,” said Paprika.

  Maud nodded and went to tug on her mum’s sleeve. “It’s late now,” she said. “Perhaps we should get home.”

  Mr Montague led them all to his car, parked around the corner.

  As they set off down the road, Maud noticed that Violet had dropped off to sleep in her cupped hands, and was snoring away happily. She was just about to breathe a sigh of relief, when her mum said, “It will be good to get back to a nice quiet house after all that.”

  “Drat,” muttered Maud, under her
breath. “I forgot about the house.”

  She thought about the awful destruction – the ripped curtains, the broken TV, the overturned furniture and the snoozing babysitter. It was no use. She’d have to come clean.

  “I’m sure they’ll understand,” whispered Paprika.

  “And I’m sure they won’t,” said Penelope, smirking. All her earlier niceness seemed to have disappeared.

  Mr Montague parked outside their house, and they all climbed out of the car. As they walked up the garden path, Maud braced herself for the telling-off of her life.

  As her dad put the key in the lock, Maud hung back. “Mum …” she began.

  “Mm?” said Mrs Montague.

  “I need to tell you something …”

  But her parents were already stepping into the house. Maud waited for a scream, but none came. She followed them in, and her jaw dropped.

  The living room was immaculate. The TV was back on its stand, the glass had been swept up, the curtain was neatly up on its rail, and the books were on their shelves again. Maud walked through the room with her mouth hanging open. She flicked through a pile of Mr Montague’s car magazines, and saw that they were even in date order, just as he liked them.

  “Do you think Tracy did this?” asked Paprika.

  “I doubt it,” said Penelope. “Not when there’s TV to be watched.”

  “Where is Tracy, anyway?” asked Maud. “I thought she’d still be snoozing on the couch.”

  “What on earth is the matter?” said Mr Montague from the hallway.

  Maud rushed out and saw that her dad had found the babysitter whimpering in the cupboard under the stairs.

  “There’s a monster in this house,” she sobbed. “It tried to attack me. It’s … there it is!”

  She pointed at the hamster snoozing peacefully in Maud’s hands.

  “Have you been watching horror films again?” asked Mrs Montague.

  “No! Well, I mean, yes,” said Tracy. “But this happened afterwards.”