A Reason to Be Alone (The Camdyn Series Book 2)

by Christina Coryell

  We pulled into Rosalie’s driveway around six o’clock that evening, and Cole moved around the truck to open the door for me and walked with me to the house, but he didn’t come in. When I turned around to see what he was doing, he smiled at me sadly.

  “I should probably make sure Pop is still breathing,” he stated about his dog. “And, I’m sure the yard needs to be mowed, too.”

  “Do you want help with the yard?” I asked, and he gave me a breathtaking smile.

  “No, Camdyn, you just need to relax for a change. I’ll call you to tell you goodnight.”

  “Okay,” I relented, “but you’ll have to call me on Rosalie’s phone.” He sighed and rolled his eyes.

  “You call me then,” he insisted. “And go change your phone out tomorrow, promise?”

  “Yes, I promise,” I laughed. That phone had been useless to me long enough as it was!

  I blew him a kiss as he pulled out of the driveway, and then I proceeded into the bed and breakfast, where Rosalie waited to ask me all kinds of questions about the baby.

  -§-

  The next day I felt a little lost. Cole was working, and I didn’t really have anything to do. I changed my phone carrier as Cole suggested the day before, and then I returned to Rosalie’s and sat outside on the porch. Usually when I finished a novel I moved right on to my next subject, but this time I didn’t feel as though I could. I hadn’t really given any thought to what I would write about next, and I imagined that I would become too distracted with wedding plans to do any proper writing anyway.

  Liz phoned around noon to see if I wanted to go dress shopping the next day. I told her that would be wonderful, and listened to her chatter excitedly for a few moments. When she hung up, I realized that I had never really thought about what type of wedding dress I wanted. I had never considered what kind of wedding I wanted at all, honestly. The realization that I had a lot of work to do began to dawn on me, and I dreaded it enough to tell myself that I would put it off until after I chose a dress.

  I wasn’t certain what time Cole stopped working each day, but I thought surely he would be finished by five o’clock. I expected him to stop by or call, but when I hadn’t heard from him by six, I sent him a text message telling him I had my new phone. Within minutes he answered me, telling me that he was working late to make up for the time he missed, and that he probably wouldn’t stop until dark. Knowing that I probably wouldn’t get to see Cole after all, I tried to be good company for Rosalie as we ate dinner together and then watched one of her shows on TV. Eventually I settled into bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. When I heard a noise at the window around half an hour later, I jumped up and gazed out to see Cole standing outside with a smile on his face. I hurriedly went to the back door and met him in the yard, barefoot and in my pajamas.

  “Sorry to get you out of bed,” he stated with a smile, “but I wanted to see your face.”

  “I’m glad you did,” I told him, wrapping my arms around him.

  “Tomorrow night I have a baseball game out of town, so I won’t be around then either.”

  “That’s okay. Your mom is taking me dress shopping tomorrow.”

  “You mean you’re really planning on going through with this thing?” he asked, gazing down into my eyes.

  “As if I would let you get away,” I answered, leaning up to kiss him. “I love you, Cole Parker.”

  “And I love you,” he said, walking me to Rosalie’s back door. “Goodnight, Camdyn.”

  “Goodnight,” I whispered, and then I closed the door.

  -§-

  The next morning, after my run and a light snack, Liz arrived at the bed and breakfast. Rosalie quickly finished the things she needed to accomplish for the morning, and soon Rachel pulled up with Charlotte in tow. Before long, the five of us were piled into Liz’s car and on our way to Memphis.

  Charlotte, sitting between Rachel and me in her booster seat, kept looking at me and wrinkling up her nose, seeming to be pleased that I was accompanying her somewhere. After a few minutes she insisted on holding my hand, and then Rachel’s as well. Liz and Rosalie talked to each other in the front seat for a while, while Rachel asked me questions about Trina and Cooper. Eventually, Liz turned her attention to me.

  “I haven’t even seen Cole since you got back,” Liz stated.

  “I expected him to stop by to see Camdyn yesterday, but he never did,” Rosalie told her.

  “Actually, he stopped by for just a minute after you went to bed,” I corrected her. “He knocked on my window.”

  “Who would have figured Cole for such a romantic?” Rachel asked with a chuckle.

  “How was your visit with your family, Camdyn?” Liz glanced in the rear view mirror as she posed the question.

  “Oh, it was great,” I told her. “Cooper is adorable. I didn’t expect to stay as long as we did, but Cole was so thoughtful in wanting to stay until Trina’s mom showed up.”

  “Do you have a mom?” Charlotte turned to ask me. I felt my mouth drop open for a minute, and I know my eyes were as wide as they could be.

  “Everybody has a mom,” Rachel informed her, looking at me guiltily.

  “Does she like the baby?” Charlotte turned her little face to me again, and I could see the discomfort written on Rachel’s face.

  “Well, she hasn’t met the baby,” I said diplomatically. “She lives very far away.”

  “Does she know about the baby?” Rosalie asked me carefully. I smiled as I glanced down at my hands.

  “I doubt it, and I’m sure she wouldn’t care if she did,” I stated honestly. I saw a flicker of emotion cross Liz’s face, and she glanced up at the rear view mirror again.

  “When did your mother leave?” Liz asked quietly. I realized that the mood in the car had suddenly turned very somber, and I glanced out the window at the passing road signs.

  “I was four,” I told her. “After my dad’s accident, she decided she wanted to be a flight attendant, and she left Charlie and me with my grandma. She showed up a couple times after that, but the last time was when I was six. She married a wealthy guy in Italy, and that was that.”

  “Did you hear from her after that?” Rachel looked at me with sympathy.

  “Sure, every year on my birthday I would receive an extravagant gift. The first year it was a designer doll. Another year it was a hand-crafted jewelry box, another a set of different colored cashmere scarves, diamond earrings, Prada handbag…”

  “But you never saw her again?” Rachel asked, wrinkling her brow. I smiled at her to show her that she shouldn’t be concerned – I was well over it by now, of course.

  No, really, I was.

  “I saw her, once,” I started, and then realized I would have to tell the whole story. Taking a deep breath, I grinned at Charlotte and then began. “When Charlie graduated from high school, his gift was an airline ticket to Italy. Charlie was always so stoic about her, I guess because he was better at hiding his feelings. When he pulled that ticket out of the envelope, though, his face contorted and he tore it up into as many pieces as he could. A couple years later, it was my turn to graduate, and I received an envelope just like Charlie’s. I don’t know why, but I was curious about this wealthy woman who sent me gifts but never called or wrote. My grandma tried to talk me out of it, but in the end she said it was my decision.”

  “You mean you went to Italy?” Rosalie asked from the front seat.

  “Yes, I went to Italy,” I admitted. “When I got there, she didn’t meet me at the airport. She sent a taxi driver, and so he was standing there with a sign with my name. When the taxi driver dropped me off at her house, a maid answered the door. As my mother came out to greet me, there was no recognition there. It was like she was just this immaculately dressed woman who was hosting a foreign student or something. Oh, she was nice enough to me, I guess – she took me shopping and sightseeing, but we didn’t really talk. As soon as we would arrive at the house, it was, ‘Maria will take your things,�
� or, ‘Maria will ring you for dinner,’ and then she would be off and I was left alone.”

  “Who was Maria?” Rachel asked.

  “Maria was the housekeeper,” I chuckled. “She was a nice lady, but she didn’t speak much English. I remember her saying over and over, ‘It’s a pity,’ and I assumed she was talking about Rita, but I couldn’t converse with her enough to ask her.”

  “Rita, that’s your mother?” Liz asked with another glance in the mirror.

  “Yes, I called her Rita. It just didn’t feel right calling her mother or anything else.”

  “So how long were you in Italy?” Rachel wanted to know.

  “Two weeks,” I said. “I didn’t leave on friendly terms, so…”

  “What happened?” Rachel prodded. Ugh, I hate talking about Rita.

  “Well, I’ll have to backtrack a little,” I sighed. “Every night, she would have the cook prepare dinner, and the four of us would sit down together – me, Rita, her husband Gianni, and his younger brother, Roberto. Gianni spoke English fairly well, but Roberto didn’t. He spoke to me a lot, but I couldn’t understand him. Sometimes Gianni translated what Roberto was saying, but most of the time he just prattled on while everyone else ate. Anyway, to make a long story short, the last night I was in Italy, Roberto pulled out a ring and started chattering away. Once I realized what was happening, I looked at Rita in astonishment, and she said, ‘You should say yes, Camdyn. He will be good to you.’”

  “Oh, Camdyn!” Liz exclaimed, shaking her head.

  “I was so upset, I went straight to my room and packed my things, and then I headed out into the street. I walked for about half a mile, dragging my suitcase, but then I realized it was too far to the airport, so I hitchhiked.”

  “You hitchhiked in a foreign country?” Rachel exclaimed, eyes wide.

  “Yes, and thankfully I made it to the airport in one piece,” I stated, exhaling loudly. “The guy who picked me up was twenty-six years old, wearing a leather motorcycle jacket, and driving a car with only two seats. His name was Lazzaro, and he kept telling me in his Italian accent that everything would be okay, and that he would help me. He waited with me at the airport for several hours, until he had to be at work. I looked up his name once I was home to see what the English equivalent was, and his name meaning was literally ‘God has helped.’ When I saw that, I just burst into tears. Anyway, I sat at the airport all night, until my flight the next day, and she never looked for me. She still hasn’t.”

  “She didn’t call your grandma to make sure you were okay?” Rosalie wanted to know.

  “No, she never did. I’m sure I embarrassed her in front of Gianni and Roberto, and she was only concerned about herself. Anyway, the only downside was that she stopped sending the expensive gifts.”

  “Oh, Camdyn,” Rachel laughed. “I don’t know how you can make jokes, when that is so tragic and sad.”

  “The only thing tragic and sad,” I began, “is the fact that we are going wedding dress shopping, and you all are trying to depress me. Isn’t this supposed to be a happy occasion?”

  “Yes, a very happy occasion,” Liz beamed, and then the conversation turned to far lighter things.

  When we arrived at the bridal salon, it was clear to see that Charlotte had entered paradise and never wanted to leave. She looked around her with her mouth hanging open, her little hand tucked inside mine, gazing at the rows of white with the beads and the tulle. When her eyes spotted a display with tiaras, I thought she would rip my arm away from my shoulder. She gazed longingly at a necklace filled with crystals, and I knelt down beside her, enjoying her delight.

  We were helped right away by a woman who looked about my age, wearing a navy blue suit with a pencil skirt and a red blouse with tiny white dots. The pocket square in the suit jacket was the same red fabric, and her shoes were the same blue with red platform heels and white bows on the top. Her toffee-colored hair was pulled neatly into an updo. Rachel and I agreed that this woman had style, so she should be able to help us. She identified herself as Kimberly, and then we made our introductions.

  “You have a good start, being so close with your fiancé’s family like this,” Kimberly remarked to me as we all sat down. “When is the wedding?”

  “The first of June,” I stated matter-of-factly, watching as her eyes widened and she clasped her hands together.

  “Well, you are down to the wire then, aren’t you?” she asked with a laugh. “We might be limited on what we can order in, but we’ll see what we can do. As far as design preferences, do you have anything in mind?”

  “I know it’s not much to go on, but in my head I’m only thinking romantic, vintage…” I smiled at her apologetically, knowing that wasn’t much assistance.

  “It shouldn’t be hard to fit you, because most any style would look good on you,” she stated, glancing around the room. “Why don’t I grab a couple of things and see if they look like what you have in mind?”

  Kimberly disappeared, and Charlotte took that opportunity to climb into my lap. I grabbed a bridal magazine from the table in front of us and began flipping through the pictures with Rachel looking over my shoulder. Liz and Rosalie took another one, and they pointed out dresses that they thought were appealing. The more pictures I looked at, the more confused I became. All of the dresses were beautiful, but I just wasn’t sure I saw anything that looked like me, exactly.

  Kimberly returned in a moment and asked me to follow her to the dressing room, so I set Charlotte aside and walked past a row of mirrors. She opened the door for me, and inside she had hung up four dresses. She encouraged me to try them on and see what I thought. I tossed my jeans and t-shirt into an empty chair and slid the first dress over my head. It was a slip dress with an embellished sequin lace overlay, complete with a low back. I stood and looked in the mirror as she zipped the back, and then she opened the door so I could show Cole’s family. When I walked out in front of them, Charlotte clapped loudly, causing me to laugh. I stood on the little platform and looked at them expectantly for their feedback.

  “What do we think of this one, ladies?” Kimberly asked, fluffing the bottom of the dress behind me.

  “You look stunning, Camdyn,” Liz offered, “but you don’t look like you’re in love with the dress.”

  “It’s very pretty,” I stated, “but it doesn’t really feel like me.”

  Kimberly and I retreated back to the dressing room, where I repeated the process with a dress that she described as a slim A-line gown with embroidered lace and crystals along a sweetheart neckline. As she fastened the buttons, she asked me what my fiancé was like. I tried my best to describe Cole as a sweet, funny, and honorable person.

  “A beautiful woman like you, he must be handsome, too,” Kimberly teased.

  “Oh, he is definitely handsome,” I agreed. I picked up my phone and found a photo of Cole, holding it out to her.

  “Oh my goodness!” Kimberly whispered. “Camdyn, I do believe you are one lucky girl.”

  “Luckiest in the world,” I told her.

  We returned to the platform in front of the mirrors to show the dress to Liz, Rosalie, and Rachel. While they were quick to say that I looked beautiful, I didn’t see anything register in their faces. I wasn’t really feeling it, either. Returning to the room, Kimberly helped me dress in a chiffon sheath dress with a cowl neck and feathers with a loose, flowy skirt. Afterwards, the next was an embroidered fit and flare with floral lace and metallic threading. When we returned to the room, I sat in the chair and let out a long sigh.

  “Okay, what are we missing?” Kimberly asked me kindly. “Which direction should we go?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, feeling vaguely defeated. Even after trying on several dresses, I still had no clue what to ask for. “They’re all so…white. I guess that sounds silly.”

  “So you want something that looks more vintage, like an antique feel to it?”

  “Maybe?” I offered, and then I laughed. “I have no idea.” />
  “Well, let me think for a minute…” she began, twisting her mouth sideways. “Oh, wait just a minute! We had a special order come in and the bride didn’t like the color, because it wasn’t white. Let me go grab that dress.”

  Kimberly left me alone for a moment, and I wiggled out of the dress I had been wearing, trying to hang it back on its hanger. When she knocked, I moved to the side as she brought in an armful of fabric. She asked me what I thought, and I studied it intensely. It was slightly tinted organza with a blush shade, and featured a sweetheart neckline. The dress was fitted with asymmetrical ruching all the way to the bottom of the hips, where it flared out into a voluminous mass of raw edged layers. A belt around the middle contained a flower in the same fabric, with crystals in the center.

  “Shall we try it?” Kimberly asked quietly. “As luck would have it, it’s close to your size.” I nodded as she helped me into the dress, fastening each of the tiny fabric-covered buttons that lined the back, and then tying the belt neatly in place. As she turned me toward the mirror, I caught my reflection and I gasped, biting my lip. “She likes it,” Kimberly said with a smile. “Camdyn, you look absolutely divine.”

  I felt positively celestial. I imagined walking down the aisle to meet Cole wearing this dress, and tears filled my eyes. Kimberly’s gaze met mine, and I laughed and smiled at her.

  “What kind of veil were you going to wear?” she asked me then.

  “Veil,” I said, pausing to consider her question. “I was thinking one of those little nets that just covers the top half of the face…”

  “Oh, a French net birdcage veil?” she asked, her eyes lighting up. “That would look so lovely. Let me find one for you.” She left the room and returned a moment later, fixing the net on top of my head and pulling my hair back into a low ponytail. She pointed toward the door with a lift of her shoulders, and I headed down the hall. When I stepped into view, Charlotte saw me first, letting out a verbal sigh. The other three turned toward me then as I stepped onto the platform.