A Reason to Be Alone (The Camdyn Series Book 2)

by Christina Coryell

  “I’m pretty sure you could have,” I chuckled, smiling over at him.

  “I know!” he exclaimed. “I was thinking we would be engaged for a few months at least, but you just couldn’t wait to get your hands on me.” He winked, and I felt my cheeks turning pink yet again. He reached over and brushed his thumb down my face to point it out, and I just shook my head.

  “I told you before, I just wanted a place to put my books,” I teased him.

  It was starting to get dark, so Cole lit a fire in the fire pit. I settled down next to Sara as Tony threw a log on, and she looked over at me with a sad smile.

  “Camdyn, I know it has to be weird for you knowing I’m friends with Steph, but I really do want you and Cole to be happy,” she stated as Cole sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “Cole’s always been my friend, too, you know.”

  “Thank you, Sara,” I told her sincerely. “I’m actually not as uncomfortable about it as you probably think I am. Stephanie was really nice when I met her, and I didn’t sense any hostility there.”

  “No, I guess that ship sailed a long time ago,” she said with a chuckle. “Trust me, I heard enough of it to last me a lifetime.”

  “I know we’ve always kind of avoided the subject,” Cole added, hugging me close to his side. “How bad was it, really?”

  “It was rough for a while,” she sighed. “The first few months, she thought you would come back and things would be like they were before. When you didn’t, she would go on and on about what a huge mistake she made. Eventually, when she left town and started over, I think it was easier for her to move on.”

  “I should have apologized, or done something,” he stated sadly.

  “No, that would have been worse,” Sara insisted. “It was better that you just stayed away. Enough of that, though – we’re supposed to be celebrating you two getting married. Where are you going on your honeymoon?”

  Yet another thing we haven’t talked about, I thought as I leaned against Cole. He wrapped both his arms around me and rested his chin against my head.

  “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” he answered. “I guess I should have cleared it with Camdyn, though.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, as he squeezed me a little tighter.

  “Well, I know we’re going to be traveling to promote your book pretty soon after the wedding,” he said.

  “We?!” I wondered excitedly.

  “Of course, we,” he reiterated. “Did you really think I would let you go through that alone? I know what a big step it is for you, and I want to be there for you.”

  “That’s sweet, isn’t it Tony?” Sara directed to her husband. He made a grunting noise and rolled his eyes.

  “Wouldn’t expect anything else from the endless romantic,” he stated sarcastically.

  “You won’t mind too much, will you?” Cole whispered in my ear. “Just staying here? I know it’s not very exciting…”

  “Are you kidding?” I laughed. “That sounds completely wonderful to me.”

  “Okay, I kind of agree with Tony,” Sara stated then. “You two make me a little sick.”

  “It’s just because the new hasn’t worn off yet,” Tony told us dramatically. “Give it time – pretty soon they will be a boring married couple like us.”

  “I don’t think anyone would ever describe you as boring, Tony,” Cole teased, and we all laughed. We sat around the fire talking a little while longer, until the moon had risen high in the sky and Tony said they should go home. We all walked around to the front of the house, where Cole and I said goodbye to Sara and Tony. I told Cole I needed to go inside to get my keys, but he insisted upon retrieving them for me while I stood on the porch, where I fought the urge to be a little perturbed with him. If there was one thing that was driving me crazy about Cole Parker, it was this insane insistence that we not be alone. When he returned to my side, I tried to put that out of my mind and gave him a smile. He pulled me into a hug and rested his chin on top of my head.

  “I love you, Wyatt Cole Parker,” I whispered, listening as he softly chuckled.

  “I love you back, Camdyn Willa Taylor,” he declared. I decided then and there that being annoyed with him was always going to be extremely difficult.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The weekend went by uneventfully, with Cole and I hanging out with Rachel and Jeff at the river for a while Saturday and then spending the majority of Sunday at his parents’ house. We sat and watched a baseball game with Ted, and to my relief there didn’t seem to be anything strange hanging between Ted and me. I still felt a little weird about what I had done, but I tried to put it out of my mind.

  Sunday night, Trina called and asked if I would come visit her for a couple of days. She said she wanted us to have one last hoorah before I became a married woman, but when I asked how she was going to pull that off with a baby in tow, she admitted that Charlie was leaving town for a convention of some sort, and she didn’t want to be alone with Cooper yet. It was obvious to me that Cole wasn’t exactly pleased with the thought of me leaving town yet again, but he didn’t complain. That Tuesday morning, though, when I showed up at his house for an early morning run, he seemed really reluctant to see me go.

  “It’s just a couple of days,” I assured him. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

  “Can’t Trina wait until next weekend to see you?” he moaned, pouting a little for effect.

  “She’s just scared,” I said. “I don’t blame her – I probably will be, too. It’s going to be terrifying to be completely responsible for another person.”

  “You’re not really worried about that, are you?” he asked me sincerely, sinking down onto his wooden porch steps. I sat next to him and twisted my keys in my hands.

  “A little,” I admitted. “I’m not sure I’ll know how to be a good mother, since I didn’t have an example of one.” He looked over at me with a slight scowl on his face, and then he shook his head.

  “That’s just ridiculous. Charlotte adores you, and you’re great with her. Besides, you had your grandma. Anyway, I think that’s just something that comes to you when you have kids.”

  “Hmm…,” I muttered, letting out a sigh. “I guess someone forgot to tell Rita about that.”

  “I’d say it’s best not to let Rita affect your decisions at all,” he stated. “Besides, what if you used that logic for everything? How do you know you’ll be a good wife?”

  “Well, I guess I don’t know that I’ll be a good wife, now that you’ve said it out loud. Great! Now I have two things to worry about.” He smiled as he pulled me to my feet and kissed me soundly, and I forgot basically everything that had been going through my mind.

  “It’s like you told me the other day,” he reasoned, “if you worried about every little thing, you wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. I’m going to be telling myself that the entire time you’re in St. Louis.”

  “Ten days,” I sighed, looking up into his face. “We’re almost in the single digits now.”

  “So only ten more sleepless nights,” he chuckled.

  “Are you that scared to marry me?” I asked, feigning shock. He responded with another mind-melting smile, and once again I knew he could see the evidence of it on my face.

  “No, I’m that anxious,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss me one more time. “I have to go. Call me as soon as you get there, okay? Don’t do anything crazy, and you have all the directions and everything?”

  “Yes, I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “Don’t miss me too much.”

  “I can’t promise anything!” he yelled from across the yard as he headed to his truck. I watched with a tinge of sadness as he pulled out of the driveway, rolling his window down and shouting that he loved me. Then, suddenly, I realized that this was going to be happening every morning in just a couple of weeks, and that made me feel a little better.

  -§-

  It was late afternoon by the time I made it to Trina and Ch
arlie’s, and I rang the doorbell and waited for what seemed like an eternity. I was almost ready to go back to the car and try to call when the door finally swung open, revealing Trina looking tired and extremely untidy. As soon as I opened my mouth to greet her, she immediately started crying.

  She’s depressed, I thought. This is that stuff they talk about on TV. What do I do? I reached out and took little Cooper from her arms and followed her into the house, where she wilted onto the couch and shook her head.

  “Look at me, Cam!” she sobbed. “I’m a mess.” Um, yeah, you smell like baby vomit, and I don’t know what that is stuck in your hair.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing a shower can’t fix,” I stated, trying to be helpful but feeling completely inadequate.

  “How can I take a shower?” she asked, wiping her nose on her sleeve. I cringed a little and fought the urge to move away from her on the sofa.

  “Well, you turn the water on, and then you step inside…”

  “Oh, you know what I mean!” she lamented. “What am I supposed to do with Cooper? I can’t leave him alone and just take a shower!”

  “Well, for starters, I’m here, so go take a shower. I don’t want to be mean, but you are flat grossing me out.”

  “Okay,” she agreed reluctantly. “I need to show you where everything is, and tell you what to do if he…”

  “For goodness sake, Trina! You’re not going to be in the shower all day, are you? We’ll be fine.”

  “Right. Of course, you’re right.” She walked away, and I stared down into Cooper’s little round face.

  “I think your mom’s gone off the deep end,” I whispered. “No wonder she doesn’t want to be alone with you. I’m not sure I want to be alone with her.” He stared back up at me and made a little burping noise. Suddenly afraid that I, too, would soon smell like baby vomit, I carried him to his room to look for a blanket or a burp cloth or anything to protect myself, just in case. It only took me a minute to find what I was looking for, and I sat down in the rocking chair and stared at him for a minute.

  Gosh, what a beautiful kid. I think I could get used to this having a baby stuff, if I can figure out how to eliminate the no-shower stink and the crazy hormonal emotions.

  I looked up at the baseball diamond on the wall where Trina had told me before that they would paint the baby’s name, and I noticed that it was still empty. There was a box of diapers tossed into the corner, and a couple dirty sleepers by the door. I went to work tidying the room, setting Cooper in his crib for a minute until I was finished. Scooping him back up, we returned to the couch until Trina finally returned, looking much better, thankfully.

  “I’m sorry, Camdyn,” she said as she sat next to me.

  “Don’t be sorry,” I told her. “You can’t help it if you’re depressed.”

  “I’m not depressed,” she laughed. “I’m just plain worn out. I only get three or four hours of sleep at night, and then during the day, I tell myself that I’ll take a nap when Cooper does, but I wind up doing laundry or housework.”

  “Sounds like you need a mom vacation,” I stated jokingly. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  “A vacation!” she sighed. “He’s only three weeks old. If I already need a break after three weeks, I am in big trouble!”

  “Well, a good night’s sleep, at least,” I insisted. “You’re going to get that while I’m here.”

  “Oh, Cammie. When did you become the reliable one? It’s like the earth has slipped out of orbit or something.”

  “I know, you are really getting on my nerves,” I teased. “You’re cramping my style, making me be all grown-up and stuff.”

  “Says the woman who is about to get married in a little over a week!” she exclaimed with wide eyes. “I still can’t believe it.”

  “That makes two of us,” I told her sincerely. “Would you have ever thought I could find a guy like Cole? Honestly, sometimes I think he’s just too good to be true.”

  “He is a pretty remarkable guy,” she admitted, “but I happen to think you’re pretty remarkable too, so it’s a good fit.” Cooper took that opportunity to squirm in my arms a little and make a loud noise from his nether regions. I glanced down at him rather disgustedly, and Trina giggled.

  “Seriously, kid, what is it with you and the bowels when it comes to the two of us?” I directed at that tiny little guy. “I don’t want to be Aunt Cammie, the poop queen.”

  “Maybe we should call you Aunt Poopy,” Trina suggested just to get a rise out of me. “Don’t worry about it – he does that to everyone.”

  “Well, in that case, maybe we should call you Cooper the Pooper,” I told the baby, who responded by wrinkling his nose and laughing. I knew he didn’t do it on purpose, but it was still a very funny turn of events to Trina and me.

  As soon as Cooper was finished with his business, I handed him off to Trina and called Cole to tell him I arrived safely. Then, I told Trina she was welcome to take a nap. She insisted she didn’t want to do that, so we played with the baby and watched TV like old times until about seven-thirty, when she started to fall asleep on the couch. When I offered to take Cooper duty for the evening, she gratefully turned in.

  After all the worrying when I arrived about telling me what to do, Trina had headed off to bed without the slightest instruction, so Cooper and I were basically flying blind. I decided that the normal thing to do was probably give him a bath, so I set about it the best I could. Completely paranoid that I was going to hurt him or drop him or basically do something horribly wrong, I wound up giving him more of a sponge bath. Figuring that was better than nothing, I dressed him in his Cardinals sleeper and prepared a bottle.

  While I was sitting on the couch watching the ballgame and feeding Cooper, the phone started ringing. I precariously balanced Cooper and the bottle with one arm while I stretched to reach the phone, and then I brought it up to my ear and answered quietly.

  “Cam?” I heard Charlie’s voice ask. “Where’s Trina?”

  “In bed,” I stated simply.

  “Oh. I was just going to call and tell her I made it okay and everything. Cooper’s asleep already?”

  “No, he’s awake. I gave him a bath, and now we’re hanging out watching the ballgame. The Cards are losing, and he’s not very happy about it.”

  “You mean you’re taking care of Cooper?”

  “What’s so bizarre about that?” I wondered. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of a baby, I would hope. Besides, you need to help Trina out more. When I got here, she was practically freaking out.”

  “She was? Usually when I offer to do something, she tells me she’s fine.”

  “Well, don’t listen to her,” I told him. “She was having a meltdown, and she told me she was worn out and couldn’t take a shower. Seriously, Charlie, make sure you watch Cooper long enough to let her take a shower in the mornings, at least!”

  “Okay, okay,” he laughed. “I will make sure I do that. Oh, I keep forgetting to tell you, there was a box of Grandma’s stuff in the attic. Now that you’re going to have a permanent address, I thought you might like to take some of it with you. I set it in the bottom of the hall closet.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered, staring down at Cooper. He took a break from sucking on his bottle, and then he went back to it again.

  “Well, I will get off here, then. Try not to break my kid.”

  “I appreciate your vote of confidence,” I said sarcastically before I hung up the phone. When Cooper was finished with his bottle, I burped him and let him doze off in my arms before I carried him to his crib. I snuck into Trina’s room where she was snoring like a lumberjack to turn off the baby monitor so it wouldn’t wake her, and then I walked back to take a quick check of the baby. Content that he was sleeping for the time being, I went to the hall closet and pulled out the box labeled “Grandma’s Stuff.” As I pulled it forward, it exposed a box behind it with Grandma’s writing that simply said “Rita.” I knew I should have cared muc
h more about opening Grandma’s box, but I was suddenly curious about what Rita had left behind, besides me and Charlie.

  When I pulled it open, I instinctively let out a gasp. There on the top of the box were pictures of my dad. Some of them were with her, but a lot of them were of him alone. Underneath those were a mound of baby pictures. I found pictures of Charlie in a little baby pool, and sitting in a high chair. There were pictures of him as a toddler looking down at his newborn baby sister in disgust, and some that looked like he was in wonderment. A couple of pictures were of Dad reading books to Charlie or me as we sat on his lap. Yet a couple more were of Rita looking every bit a loving mother as she held one of us kids with a big smile on her face.

  I couldn’t say why, but when I thought about our life before the accident, I always imagined Dad lovingly taking care of us and Rita selfishly focusing on herself. It had never dawned on me that she might have actually been a decent mother at one point, or at least had the appearance of being somewhat adequate. I spread a few of the pictures out in front of me and pondered them. Eventually, I set them aside and dug deeper into the box. There were a few articles of clothing, a nametag that looked like it came from a diner, and a house key in a black necklace box.

  At the very bottom were tiny little hospital tags from me and Charlie, a couple of odd bracelets that looked like they were made of string, and some notes from my father. They weren’t important notes or love notes – just simple notes that he had left around the house. Tutoring tonight – will be home a little late, one read. Make sure you stop at the cleaners on another one. Don’t forget – Mom and Dad’s for dinner tonight. The very last one I picked up was the simplest:

  Left early. Love ya. Dave

  While I loved seeing my dad’s handwriting and holding those notes in my hands, they really left me unbelievably confused. If Rita loved my dad so much that she kept stupid little notes like this, how could she have disappeared like she did?

  Maybe she loved him, but not us.

  That didn’t make sense, though, because she looked genuinely happy in those pictures I found. I hadn’t seen her happy like that in Italy – not even close.