Fables of Fortune

by Richard Watts

  Many of the super-wealthy are fortunate enough to reach a place in the latter part of their lives when they clearly see their earthly fortune has been a serious distraction. Moreover, they know they have spent precious time accumulating wealth they could not spend in ten lifetimes, at the expense of time and their own personal contentment, which they ignored while they busily increased their empire. Ironically, if they find their spiritual center again, they return to doing the same things they loved to do before they became super-wealthy. And when money and material things no longer occupy both their thoughts and words, they invariable confess, “Life in its simplest form is the only meaningful way to live.” There is a lesson there for us all.

  PART FOUR

  I’D RATHER NOT BE RICH

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  THE MYTH OF MIDAS

  King Midas loved gold more than anything in the world. He was granted one wish: that everything he touched would turn to gold. Midas delighted in his newfound fortune as he turned everything in his path to gold. Yet he still wanted more—until one day he touched his beloved daughter, who turned into a statue. Midas came to loathe what he at first thought was the greatest of gifts.

  In moments of uncertainty, the life of the average person can shine like precious metal. The have nots are versed in the basic necessities of life: food, shelter, companionship, family, and friends. Each day they wake to earn enough to cover the cost of these essentials. Often the average family makes necessary tradeoffs to survive, “If we spend less on shelter, we’ll have extra for enjoying outings together.” But spending more on shelter may result in too little left for food or other needs. Life requires constant balancing. Most people find a sense of security and peace when the essentials are covered … a sense the super-rich may not appreciate.

  What have we learned about wealth and its effect on the long-term treasures a simple life affords? Is there a fix for the wealthy who find themselves described in one or more of these chapters? Is there a lesson for the have nots?

  FLYING AT 30,000 FEET

  Let’s look at the bigger picture—call it “flying at 30,000 feet.” Most large things on the ground look quite small from five miles up. Identifying the “big picture” essentials of your life always involves asking the question, “How is this thing I am considering going to affect every other thing in my life?” At a minimum, every new direction is going to take time. How much time? Is it worth the offset of less time with the family? Is it going to affect your health? What about friendships, your hobbies, your pastimes, your sleep? Ask yourself what are the most important things you want to accomplish in your life during the short time you are on the planet? Does this new direction take you closer to that goal? Where do you want to end up in five years? Ten years? Twenty years? When you are seventy? Are you married? How well do you like your wife? Does she require more time?

  Create a list of the essential elements of your universe. Anyone who takes off in a direction of achieving monetary success without creating the simplest list of the action items in their own life is destined to aimlessly let life push them around. There are strong currents everywhere. It is important to set a horizon if you want to know where you stand in relation to your ambitions. Being unidirectional and targeting only money and ignoring other facets of your plan is a recipe for burnout.

  FOCUS AND REFOCUS YOUR GOALS CONTINUOUSLY

  The goals you set in college are not necessarily your goals once you are out of college and married with kids. And once you start in business, the pull on your time will change the landscape once again. Continuously sit down with people who are close to you and write down bullet points of what is currently on your plate, and how those things assist or interfere with your life plan. To ignore them and just see where your career takes you is asking for trouble.

  The super-rich are no different. Once the money starts to increase, the question ought to be, “What will this money allow me to do that I wouldn’t have time to do without it?” If that question can’t be answered, then you are on the road to making the means of making money your end. If you ever believe accumulating wealth is the finale, and not just a means to do other things, you should write down this statement: “By the time I get enough money to do all the things I want to do with my life, I will not remember what it is I wanted to do in the first place.”

  Life is what happens in the spaces in between. Have an initial set of goals, change it regularly, and give yourself a grade for the last period since you revised the list the last time. If you deserve a D for poor effort in structuring a life, admit it, and then do something about it.

  TIME IS A GREAT MARINADE

  We are all guilty of requiring instant gratification. For the have nots, reality sometimes slows this process. If you want it but can’t afford it, you have to wait. But for the super-rich, if you can think it, you can have it. The distance between wanting and having is narrow. With little thought process the wealthy change directions, and (poof!) new homes, new cars, new boats, and extravagant trips—and sometimes new family, new wife, new life.

  Before we can meaningfully survey our course and goals, there must be a pause. Consider lining up the size of a purchase or new endeavor. Perhaps the “size” should include both the money and the time it will take. It may not be expensive to start running marathons, but consider the time it will take to train. It is almost a full-time job. Large purchases should require a longer pause. What if before you bought a new car, you waited six months? What effect would that have? Not much. But in denying yourself instant gratification, you will gain an appreciation for what you are looking to acquire. For the super-rich, put a year between the purchases of a second and third home.

  Chuck is one of the country’s mega-wealthy. He has a son and a daughter. His home is probably worth $30 million, and his getaway house in Aspen cost no less than $8 million. While visiting his daughter, who resided in Rome during a college exchange program, Chuck and his wife fell in love with Italy and, before they left, purchased a home outside of Rome. The following year, they were visiting their son, who was studying in France, and found the Loire Valley serene. They had the means to easily purchase a piece of that countryside, and before they left the week-long vacation, they bought a chateau in the village of Chinon. Chuck hired contractors in both locations to renovate the properties to his standards. The properties, two years later, are fabulous, authentic, richly appointed … and empty. Next time Chuck might consider letting a little time pass, perhaps a year, before acquiring another vacation home.

  There are few instant decisions that turn out better because of microwave-speed decision making. Let the idea steep for a while. Make yourself identify how this might affect you or your family, both positively and negatively. Then when you decide to move on it, do it decisively and with conviction. The mere act of waiting will change your approach.

  BALANCE, BALANCE, BALANCE

  There are three legs on the table that is your life: you, your family and friends, and your spirituality. Allow one leg to become shorter and the table will not be level and anything you set on it will spill. Don’t become entrenched in the “personal” side of your life. Early in a career a young father works until late at night. On Christmas Eve, the bicycle and dollhouse need to be assembled. Crunch time! You just do it! It will be a story you will tell your entire life. Try to see its value from thirty-thousand feet. If you stay at the office until late that one night, what does that do for your career? Not much.

  Ask those around you what they think of your skill in balancing the elements of your life. Insist on honesty. We all know people who have mastered this extraordinary balancing act. Don’t be afraid. Ask one of them how they do it. You will discover it is not easy. It takes time.

  WHO WILL SAVE THE CHILDREN?

  The unintended casualties of the super-rich can be their children. And it is not the child’s fault. Like a child born to a drug-addicted mother, the struggle is inherent. There is one simple rule super-rich parents need to re
cognize in guiding their children: “For everything you give them, you are taking something away.”

  Find what you are taking away. When you buy them a new car, realize you take away experiencing the effort it takes to earn enough money to buy a car, new or used … balancing the value of a new versus a used car … the process of discovering how to earn money … the development of skills it takes to interact with a boss and coworkers on the job … and the decision making required to prioritize saving money for a car rather than buying nonessentials. At least ten life lessons are taken away from teenagers whose parents purchase them a new car.

  Can you imagine the lessons lost when a youth is given a job at the family company or inherits millions of dollars? The greatest misconception people have about wealth is believing it is a good thing to leave large sums of money to their children. Most estate planning is done under the design of top estate-planning lawyers who have one directive: pass along as much wealth to the next generation as possible, minimizing the estate tax. Few of these bright lawyers have seen the destruction this wealth creates in the downstream generations. Even small estates—say, a family home worth $400,000—can create a war between siblings, who may find themselves in court destroying all family relationships permanently. It takes only a couple of hundred thousand dollars, given without forethought, to derail one of your children in the future. Think it through carefully and discuss the various possibilities.

  One of U.S. history’s richest men, Andrew Carnegie, wrote an essay in 1889 entitled “The Gospel of Wealth,” in which he argued that simply passing on wealth to children not qualified to maintain and manage it was very dangerous. Before his death in 1919, Carnegie gave away over $350 million to charity—his entire estate!

  THE GIFT OF CONTENTMENT

  Do you still want to be super-rich? Be sure to count the cost.

  Be content, not because you made it to be super-rich, but because you didn’t. Not because you can afford anything you want, but because you can’t. Not because the children you and your spouse raised unexpectedly derailed because of money, but because they didn’t.

  There is great peace and contentment in the possession of a home, owned or rented, the accomplishments that are a part of your work, the pleasure of a simple hobby, and the privilege of relationships with family and friends. Find comfort in the fact that you probably sleep better on the $6 pillow you bought at Walmart than the super-rich do on their $500 hand-stitched feather pillows. Living below the world’s radar allows you freedom to explore, to make mistakes unnoticed, to take yourself less seriously, and to create your own life story without uninvited social editors.

  Understanding the reality of wealth will provide an honest, comparative reflection of your condition. You may discover your world is actually richer than that of the super-rich—in relationships, satisfaction, experiences, and fulfillment. Once you see inside their daily troubles, you might think of your place in life as a safe and welcoming refuge.

  When you compare your life to theirs, instead of jealousy feel gratitude that you have less than they do, that you are able to escape their inherent struggles and the judgmental eyes of the world, making your life their reality show. Living as a have not can have great advantages in being able to experience “the simple life” without having to spend a lifetime trying to find it. Remind yourself of this simple but profound truth:

  The richest person is not who has the most … but the one who needs the least.

  WE WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU

  I am interested in learning your personal stories about the difficulties wealth can bring to friends and family. Please visit and share at my website www.fablesoffortune.com. I will contact you regarding possibly publishing your story.