by Gina Wilkins
Anyone with any sense at all, she answered herself with a flash of candid insight. This attraction had been building for some time. Part of her had been aware of it, to the point that she’d worried that going with him to his hometown would lead to something that might put their friendship at risk.
She still worried about that even as she opened her mouth beneath his again. But it was too late now to try to deny, to either of them, the way she felt about him.
She slid her hands beneath the hem of his shirt, spreading her fingers and pressing her palms against his skin. Remembering the way he had looked coming out of the shower damp and bare-chested, she was delighted to discover that he felt every bit as good as he had looked. She traced ribs and muscles with her fingertips, lingering at the dip in his back just above the top of his jeans.
Joel groaned. “We’d better…”
She silenced him by slipping her tongue between his lips, letting herself savor and explore at her leisure.
A long time later Joel tried again to be sensible. “Nic, we should stop,” he muttered against her throat.
She snuggled against him, feeling the evidence that he was no more eager to put an end to this than she was. “Why?”
The simple question seemed to catch him off guard. He lifted his head. “Why? Well, uh, because…”
She smiled and rubbed a fingertip along his moist lower lip. “Not much of a reason, Brannon.”
“We said we were going to take this slow, remember? Careful.”
“We’ll be careful. And we can take it as slowly as you like.”
Her wicked tone made him groan and shift restlessly against her again. “You aren’t helping.”
“Then let me make it easy for you.” She cupped his face between her hands, letting him see the sincerity in her expression. “It’s like you said the first time you kissed me, in your car by the lake—this has been coming for a long time. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t, but since neither of us has a crystal ball, I don’t want to fret about a future we can’t predict.”
“Just live in the moment, huh? Take each day as it comes?”
“Do we really have any other choice? Who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow?”
It was a philosophy she’d lived by for a long time. In the long run, she figured it prevented a lot of angst and distress. Maybe Joel was going to break her heart at the end of this venture or maybe he wasn’t—but they might as well enjoy the journey while it lasted.
She’d had a good time with Brad, hadn’t she? And she’d gotten over being dumped by him easily enough, choosing to concentrate on the parts of her life that she could control. Like her work and her friends.
A tiny voice inside her whispered that Joel wasn’t Brad. That her feelings for Brad hadn’t been quite this strong or this risky. That it might not be so easy to move on this time. Firmly ignoring that annoying nagging, she smiled up at Joel, waiting for him to make his decision.
He sighed. “We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, do we?”
“Nope. Even Aislinn’s only right some of the time. The rest of us just have to play it by ear.”
His hand on her cheek, his eyes locked with hers, Joel resisted only a moment longer before gathering her close again.
Chapter Twelve
He didn’t try to hold anything back this time. His kisses grew hotter, his movements more purposeful, until they were both gasping and writhing in growing hunger. Nic pulled away from him only long enough to retrieve a small cardboard box from her nightstand, putting it near at hand, and then she reached for the hem of his long-sleeve polo shirt, tugging it up and over his head.
His face creased in concentration, Joel followed suit, stripping her out of her clothing with an efficiency that rather impressed her. His fingertips traced tenderly over her bruises. “You should be resting,” he murmured.
“I will,” she promised, pressing herself against him, hearing his breath catch hard in his throat as bare skin brushed bare skin. “Later.”
And she covered his mouth with her own again, pushing him backward into the pillows.
To make it as comfortable for her as possible, Joel allowed Nic to set the pace of their lovemaking. She was the one who urged him to settle between her legs, who made it clear that she was feeling no pain. At least not enough to concern either of them.
She was the one who raised to welcome him when he couldn’t wait any longer to enter her. And she was the one who stiffened and cried out when she reached a pinnacle of pleasure that seemed higher than any peak she’d ever climbed before.
This time Joel tumbled eagerly over the edge with her.
There was something about the sound of Joel’s rapid heartbeat beneath her ear. The feel of strong arms around her. The slight tickle of a lightly furred chest against her cheek. The lazy heaviness of sated limbs. She sighed in satisfaction and snuggled a bit more deeply into Joel’s shoulder.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurting?”
She patted his chest in response to his anxious question. “I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. I was just enjoying the moment.”
He relaxed a little, though she thought she detected a lingering tension in his muscles. “You really should get some rest. You just got out of the hospital this morning.”
“There was no reason at all for me to spend last night in the hospital, and you know it. It was only a mild concussion. The doctors were just being over cautious—and I think you had some influence over that.”
“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any problems crop up during the night. I know concussions are fairly common, but they’re nothing to take lightly. You probably have a headache right now, even though I know you won’t complain about it.”
She shrugged. “Maybe a little headache. I’ve had worse.”
He shifted her to one side and moved toward the edge of the bed. “I’ll get you a couple of ibuprofen. And you never had that herbal tea we talked about.”
She laughed softly. “That was supposed to help me relax. I think you took care of that already.”
“Glad to be of service.”
She had been too comfortable and content to notice before that something was bothering Joel. Now she saw that his smile looked strained and did not reach his eyes. His shoulders looked stiff, and a muscle twitched in his jaw.
Not the face of a man who was floating on a haze of postlovemaking satisfaction, she thought with a sudden frown. “Something wrong?”
“No, of course not.” But he didn’t meet her gaze as he spoke. Scooping his jeans off the floor, he asked over his shoulder, “You keep ibuprofen in the bathroom?”
“Yes. In the medicine cabinet.”
After he disappeared into the bathroom, she climbed slowly out of the bed and pulled a short terry robe out of her closet. Perhaps she had understated her headache a bit, she thought, lightly rubbing her temples. And maybe she was more sore and stiff than she wanted him to know.
She wondered what Joel’s problem was.
When he finally emerged, he was mostly dressed and carrying two tablets and a glass of water. “Here. Take these.”
She complied, then said, “Why don’t I make us that tea now?”
“You know, I really should take my bags into my house and then shower and run by the clinic for a little while, since I’m a day later getting home than I expected. Unless you need me for anything here?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. But—”
He was already inching toward the door. “D’you want me to call Aislinn to come stay with you for a while?”
“No, thanks. She’ll probably show up before long anyway.”
“Okay, then. You’ll call me if you need anything? Anything at all?”
“Of course. Joel—”
He paused with one foot already out the doorway. “Yeah?”
“Are we ever going to talk about this?”
His cheeks went a little red, and he swallowed, obviously embarrassed by his ow
n behavior. “Yeah, sure. We’ll, uh, talk later. I’ll see you, okay?”
Despite the jumbled emotions inside her, she managed to smile. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He hesitated a moment longer, then turned and left. Shortly afterward she heard her front door close.
Joel was cute even in full panic mode, she thought a bit wistfully. The question was, what had made him take off that way, looking as though he was running for his life?
“Do you need anything else? More lasagna? Another roll?”
Nic shook her head in response to Aislinn’s offer and she was pleased to note that the movement caused hardly any discomfort in response. The dull headache that had plagued her much of the day was mostly gone now. A long, hot shower followed by a restful nap had eased some of the soreness that had resulted from the exertions of the day—traveling home from Alabama and handing her heart over to Joel on a shiny silver platter, she thought with a wry twist of her mouth.
“I’m really full,” she said, pushing thoughts of Joel to the back of her mind for the moment. “But the dinner was wonderful. It was so nice of you to go to the trouble of bringing it over.”
Aislinn shrugged. “It was the least I could do. I haven’t been much help to you otherwise this past weekend.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t able to warn you about the lanai.”
“Which only proves that you aren’t the psychic Pamela keeps telling everyone you are. You had a feeling there was going to be a problem and you checked on me several times. I know you were concerned about me.”
Aislinn didn’t look significantly comforted. “I was the one who suggested to Joel that he should take you to the reunion. I shouldn’t have gotten involved. Matchmaking is always risky, especially when you’re setting up your best friend.”
“You couldn’t have known I would get hurt at the reunion. You were just trying to help Joel with a problem—after he asked us to offer suggestions,” Nic reminded her.
And then it struck her exactly what Aislinn had said. “Wait a minute. Matchmaking? You were matchmaking?”
Her face flushed, Aislinn nodded apologetically. “I thought it would be a chance for you and Joel to get out of the comfortable routines you’d fallen into and explore the possibilities between you. Now I wonder if I made a mistake.”
“Why exactly?” Nic wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, but she felt compelled to ask.
Aislinn cleared her throat. “Would you like some dessert? I brought brownies.”
“I’ll have dessert later. First I want to know why you think it was a mistake to try to put Joel and me together. Do you have one of your feelings about it?”
Looking miserable, Aislinn crumbled the remains of a crusty roll onto her plate. “Not exactly. I’m just afraid you’re going to be hurt again. And I don’t mean physically this time.”
She really shouldn’t have asked, Nic thought with a sinking feeling inside her chest. Aislinn was pretty much predicting disaster from Nic and Joel’s new relationship. And because that opinion was a bit too close to Nic’s own concerns, she felt any lingering optimism about this latest development with Joel start to slip away.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” she said, deliberately injecting a touch of bravado into her voice. “I know better than to let that happen.”
“Do you?” Aislinn murmured, and her expression made Nic suspect that Aislinn knew exactly what had transpired between her and Joel earlier that day.
She sighed. “Maybe not.”
Aislinn set down her fork. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“Tell me about the weekend.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start there, either.”
“Why not at the beginning?”
That seemed like a reasonable suggestion. After all, she and Aislinn had always told each other almost everything that happened to them.
She started talking, describing her arrival in Alabama, meeting Joel’s brother and parents, attending the football game dressed in the opposing team’s colors, lunch with Ethan the next day, the dance, the kisses by the lake, all the way up to the collapse of the lanai. If she left anything out, it wasn’t intentional. After all, she figured, Aislinn would probably sense anything she tried to hide.
She stopped the narrative at the point where she and Joel had walked into her house that afternoon. Maybe Aislinn had already guessed what happened after that, but Nic wasn’t quite ready to talk about it.
Aislinn had listened in attentive silence, but now she asked, “You said Joel’s parents saw you off this morning. How did they react to your being injured?”
“Oh, they were very sympathetic. Really distressed about the whole thing, as if it reflected badly on their hospitality. And managing to imply that it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been such a reckless type.”
“Oh, surely they didn’t—”
Nic held up a hand. “That was unfair of me,” she admitted. “They were perfectly gracious. They even gave me a beautiful box of chocolates when I left. I’m being a jerk when I should be grateful for their kindness and hospitality. I promise I’ll write a thank-you note to them before I go to bed tonight and I’ll put it in the mail first thing in the morning.”
“Nic, have I ever judged you?” Aislinn looked at her reprovingly from across the table. “You can tell me exactly how they made you feel, whether it was intentional on their part or not.”
Nic sighed and pushed a hand through her hair. “I know. I just hate hearing myself sounding so petty. Yes, that was the way I felt with them, but I wouldn’t say they ‘made’ me feel that way. I can’t help wondering how much I was projecting my own feelings onto them.”
“You somehow blame yourself for being hurt?”
“Not exactly. I mean, you always think you should have reacted faster or differently or something, but I wouldn’t have left Heidi to fall, regardless. I knew I was more prepared to go over than she was, since she was less aware of what was happening. And I’m in much better shape than she is,” she added with typical candor, knowing Aislinn would take it as fact rather than boasting.
“Not to mention that you’re trained to help other people, not to protect yourself.”
“Well, yeah. That’s my job. And I hated that I felt I was being judged because of it. It doesn’t sound like a job for a young lady,” she paraphrased primly. “Not like, oh, say, family counseling.”
“Family counseling?” Aislinn repeated in a murmur, watching her too intently.
Nic flushed and looked down into her tea glass, which now held more melted ice than beverage. She knew her next words would tell Aislinn a great deal and she wondered for a moment if she was ready to reveal quite that much. Yet still she said them. “That was Heather’s career. Joel’s wife.”
“I see.”
“She must have been an amazing woman. Everyone loved her. Her in-laws. Her classmates. The whole world apparently loved Heather.”
“Surely there were other girls in her class who didn’t care for her. Who were jealous of her or just didn’t get along with her.”
“If there were, they knew better than to say anything at the reunion. They would have been stoned.”
“Nic.”
“Okay, that was an exaggeration. Let’s just say that any criticism of Heather would have been strongly discouraged.” She told Aislinn about the scholarship, which they both agreed was a wonderful gesture, and about the photo shrine to Heather in Elaine’s upstairs hallway, which was a bit more thought-provoking.
Aislinn pushed her plate aside, propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand, looking thoughtful. “Anytime someone passes away tragically young, there’s a tendency to sort of turn them into saints in the memories of those who knew them.”
“True. But it’s awfully difficult to follow in the footsteps of a saint.”
“It would be daunting,” Aislinn agreed. “But
maybe Joel isn’t looking for a saint this time.”
“Or maybe he isn’t looking at all,” Nic muttered, remembering the way he had all but bolted from her house earlier.
“He’s looking. The question is whether he’s really seeing clearly.”
Aislinn didn’t often fall into cryptic, psychic-style speech, and when she did, Nic didn’t let her get away with it. Her typical reaction was to tease and scoff until Aislinn either admitted she didn’t know an answer or was more clear about what her intuition told her. This time she hesitated before following up on Aislinn’s comment. Maybe there was something inside her that didn’t want to examine Aislinn’s feelings too closely when it came to her and Joel.
Just as she was about to speak, Aislinn stood and reached for the dirty dishes. “I’ll clean up the kitchen. You go into the den and rest a while and I’ll bring you some hot tea when I’m done.”
Nic rose, shaking her head. “I’m not an invalid. I can help—”
“Nic.” Aislinn walked around to lay a hand on Nic’s arm. “Let me do this. Even though I know you don’t blame me, I still feel guilty for urging you to go to Alabama. I feel as if I set you up to be hurt—in several ways. I didn’t know until too late that I was putting you at risk. Just…let me take care of you tonight, okay? We can go back to normal tomorrow.”
Nic didn’t quite know what to say. Her throat had tightened in response to the emotion in Aislinn’s voice.
She didn’t want to imagine what it would be like to lose Aislinn and she knew that went both ways. It must have been awful for Aislinn to somehow sense that Nic was in danger and not be able to do anything to prevent it. So, as much as she disliked being hovered over and as determined as she was to convince Aislinn that she bore no responsibility for Nic’s accident, she supposed she could give in just this once and let Aislinn clean her kitchen.
Joel stood on Nic’s front porch, a package in one hand and his heart in his throat. He felt like an idiot for the way he’d run out on her earlier. He had taken to his heels in panic and he was quite sure Nic knew it. Now he felt awkward and uncertain and uncomfortable, emotions he’d never expected to feel around Nic, of all people.