by Gina Wilkins
This was exactly what he’d worried about, he thought with a frown. He’d been afraid of ruining a friendship that had meant a great deal to him. He hoped he hadn’t done so yet.
He was surprised when Aislinn opened the door to him, rather than Nic. He’d known she was here, of course, because he had seen her car parked in the driveway, but Nic usually answered her own door. “Oh, hi. Is Nic okay?”
“She’s fine,” Aislinn assured him with a smile that looked oddly strained. “I was just leaving. Nice seeing you, Joel.”
The words lacked a measure of sincerity. He looked at her more closely, but her face was closed to him. “It’s, um, good to see you, too.”
She nodded and stepped past him. “Good night.”
One hand on Nic’s doorknob, Joel turned. “Aislinn—”
She looked over her shoulder. “What?”
He didn’t quite know how to ask. “Is there a problem?”
Her expression didn’t change. “I don’t know. Is there?”
“Are you annoyed with me?”
“Not yet.”
He sighed. “Are you trying to send me a message? Because if you are, I’m not getting it.”
She made a gesture that expressed the same sort of frustration he was feeling. “I’m not trying to send you any messages, Joel. I don’t have any messages for you. I certainly don’t have all the answers. I just…don’t want Nic to be hurt any more.”
“Neither do I.”
She shrugged. “Then we’re agreed. Good night.”
He watched her open her car door. “It was your idea for me to take her with me, you know,” he couldn’t resist calling out.
With one foot already in the car, she looked at him. “Was it?”
Wincing, he realized that he was the one who had actually suggested Nic go with him. “Well…you didn’t talk her out of it,” he muttered, feeling stupid even as the words left him.
Apparently deciding that wasn’t worth a response, Aislinn climbed into her car and slammed the door.
“Joel?”
In response to Nic’s voice, he turned again, hearing Aislinn drive away behind him. Drawing a deep breath, he pushed the door open and walked inside.
She was standing in the living room, looking as though she’d just risen from the couch, maybe to find out what was taking him so long to come inside. “Hi. Were you talking to Aislinn?”
“Yeah. I’m not exactly her favorite person right now.”
“I didn’t tell her what happened between us,” Nic assured him quickly, a bit defensively.
While he was relieved to hear that, it didn’t convince him that Aislinn hadn’t put two and two together. She seemed to have already decided that Joel was going to break Nic’s heart. Ironically enough, Joel was more concerned that it was going to end up the other way around.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
Nic shrugged. “Fine. My head isn’t even hurting now.”
She didn’t look fine with the gauze taped to her chin and the bruises on her cheek and arms, but she still looked entirely too appealing to him. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Did you eat?”
“Yes. Aislinn brought dinner for me. There are leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.”
“No, thanks. I grabbed a sandwich earlier. Oh, I brought you this.”
Looking curious, she accepted the brown paper bag from him. He should have thought to make a nicer presentation, he realized belatedly. A bow or some ribbon or something. Just because Nic had been his friend for so long didn’t mean she didn’t deserve some of the little niceties of courtship now that their relationship had changed.
The smile she gave him after looking inside the bag told him she liked the gift despite the stark presentation. “Chocolate-dipped dried fruits. You remembered I love these.”
“You might have mentioned it once or twice.”
“Thank you, Joel. I’ll enjoy these. They’ll help me pass the time until I can go back to work.”
“Getting antsy already?”
“Definitely. What am I supposed to do with myself all day for the rest of the week? I hate daytime TV.”
“Don’t you have any hobbies you’ve been neglecting for lack of time?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Work is my hobby. Same as you.”
She had him there, he had to acknowledge as they sat side by side on the couch. “I guess we need to talk about what happened earlier.”
Her bandaged chin thrust forward in challenge as she tilted her head. “That depends. Are you going to tell me you’re sorry you took off the way you did or that we made a huge mistake?”
He sensed that she was hiding any vulnerability behind this air of bravado. Just as she wouldn’t let him know about any pain she might be feeling from her injuries, she would deliberately hide any fear or insecurity about their relationship.
If he was going to be involved with Nic, he’d have to learn to read the emotions she was reluctant to show him. And that was something else that would be different from what he’d had with Heather, who had fervently believed in sharing all their feelings about everything.
But this wasn’t the time to think about Heather.
“I don’t think we made a mistake,” he said firmly. “I still think it’s been building between us for a long time. I do think I handled it badly. I got rattled. A little overwhelmed, I think. I needed a little time to process it all, so I took off. I’m sorry.”
She studied his face for a moment and then smiled. “Apology accepted.”
That was it? She didn’t want explanations of why he’d felt overwhelmed? Of any conclusions he had reached since he’d left? She didn’t want any promises that he wouldn’t run out on her like that again?
She opened the box of treats he’d brought her. “Would you like one? The chocolate-dipped apricots are my favorite.”
Still looking at her face, he accepted an apricot, which he ate in two bites. “You’re right. That is good.”
Nic set the box aside. “You’ve got a little chocolate on your mouth. Let me help you with it.”
She leaned forward and covered his mouth with her own.
There were times when action was infinitely better than talking, he decided immediately, gathering her closer.
Chapter Thirteen
They never did get around to talking about why he’d panicked earlier. Joel didn’t really want to talk about it yet, and Nic didn’t seem to be any more eager to get into an in-depth examination of their feelings. It seemed easier all around to spend the remainder of the evening talking about inconsequential things, laughing, getting to know each other all over again as lovers rather than platonic friends.
He didn’t spend the night. Neither of them was ready for that step. But it was quite late by the time he finally tore himself away from her, making her promise to call him if she needed anything at all.
He was back at her place the next evening after work, bringing take-out food with him. He wasn’t sure if her radiant smile when she opened the door had more to do with her pleasure at seeing him or her relief at having someone to talk to.
She wasn’t dealing with her enforced vacation well; she wanted to be back at work. Apparently she had spent much of the day on the phone with friends and coworkers, but that wasn’t the same, she complained, as being out among them. By the time they’d finished dinner and dessert and had watched a couple of programs on TV, she was in better spirits, convinced that she should be able to return to work the next day.
“I don’t think so,” he said with a shake of his head. “You agreed to take the rest of the week to recover from that concussion. Your boss said he didn’t want you back until you’ve been released by your doctor. You won’t even get those stitches out for another few days. Why don’t you just try to enjoy your time off and let yourself heal completely before you go back to work?”
She groaned and let her head fall back on the couch. “I’m so bored.”
Smiling, he reached out t
o smooth the ragged edges of the tape that held her bandage on her chin. She’d been picking at it again, impatient with the feel of it against her skin. “You’ll survive. You might even enjoy it if you gave yourself a chance.”
“Right,” she said, giving him an openly skeptical look. “Like you wouldn’t be itching to get back to work by now.”
She had him there. He’d be going crazy by now. But that didn’t mean he was going to encourage her to go back to work sooner than she should. He had to admit that he was in no hurry to see her strap on her weapon again.
Again he stayed late, then made himself leave. Wearing a fuzzy robe and a sleepy smile, she saw him to the door without asking him to stay.
When his telephone rang early the next morning as he was getting ready to go to work, his first thought was that it was Nic. He was surprised when he heard his mother’s voice on the other end of the line. “Mom? Is everything okay?”
“That’s what I was going to ask you. I’ve tried calling you several times during the past couple of evenings and you never answered.”
“You didn’t leave a message.”
“You know how I hate those machines.”
He shook his head in exasperation. “Was there anything in particular you needed?”
“I wanted to ask about Nicole. How is she?”
“She’s doing great. Impatient to get back to work.”
Elaine made a tsking sound. “I can’t imagine why. Did you hear about that police officer who was shot in Los Angeles yesterday? I read about it in the newspaper this morning.”
Joel felt a muscle twitch in his jaw, but he kept his tone light. “Cabot is hardly Los Angeles, Mom. Nic’s safe on the job here.”
“She will never be safe as long as she wears a gun and apprehends lawbreakers. Anyone who becomes emotionally involved with her is going to have to learn to live with that somehow.”
She couldn’t have been more obvious if she’d slapped him upside the head. In response he said simply, “I’ll tell her you asked about her. I’m sure she’ll be pleased.”
Sensing that he was preparing to disconnect, Elaine spoke more quickly. “Did Heidi call you?”
“No. Was she supposed to?”
“She said she might call to ask about Nic. And I think she wants to tell you about a young woman she’d like for you to meet. From what Heidi has said, she sounds ideal for you.”
“Mother—”
“I’m not matchmaking, Joel. Heidi is.”
Her logic failed to appease him. “I’m not interested in being the object of anyone’s matchmaking. Especially Heidi’s.”
“She just wants you to be happy, Joel. She loves you.”
“Tell her I love her, too. And I’m perfectly happy.”
“But—”
“Mom, I’m sorry, but I have to go. I’ve got appointments this morning and I don’t want to be late.”
“Oh. Well, I guess we can talk later….”
“You bet,” he said cheerfully, making a mental promise to be very busy for the foreseeable future. And then, because that made him feel guilty, he added, “Love you.”
“I love you, too.”
That was all he allowed her to say. He hung up quickly and reached for his car keys.
He felt a bit cowardly about practically hanging up on his well-intentioned mother. He had deliberately avoided telling her that he and Nic had become more than friends. And he could tell himself all he wanted that it was only because the relationship was too new and that he wasn’t ready to share it with the rest of the world yet, but he knew that wasn’t the real explanation.
The truth was, he knew his mother wouldn’t approve. Cowardly or not, he just didn’t want to deal with that now.
He looked at the photograph on his dresser. And for once he had absolutely nothing to say.
“If you want me to do this, you’re going to have to lie still.”
“Well, hurry up. Are you always this slow?”
“I’m not exactly working under optimal conditions. If you’d have come to my office…”
“A pediatrician’s office? I don’t think so. What if someone had seen me?”
“Afraid of ruining your tough-cop rep?”
“Heck, yes. I’d never live it down.”
“Darn it, Nic, stop wiggling. You want me to snip you instead of the stitches?”
“I should have just taken them out myself,” she muttered, forcing herself to be still. “I have manicure scissors.”
“If you’d have even tried that, I’d have made you get new stitches.”
She laughed at his ridiculous threat. “Oh, real tough guy. I’m shaking.”
Sitting beside her as she lay on her bed with her chin tilted toward him, Joel sighed. “Seriously, Nic, lie still, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Okay, I’ll try. How many have you gotten out?”
He sighed. “One. We just started.”
“Oh.” Somewhat chastened, she dug her fingers into the bedspread beneath her to hide the apprehension she refused to allow him to see.
They’d already had an argument that morning about the stitches. Nic had asked him to remove them, since she wanted to report to work the next morning looking mostly healed from her freak accident. Joel had agreed that she’d healed well enough to remove the stitches, but he’d wanted to do it at his office, a suggestion she had vetoed.
“My brother took out his own stitches when he sliced his hand on a fish-gutting knife. He said it was no big deal and he sure wasn’t going to pay a doctor to do it.”
Joel hadn’t been impressed by her argument, but he had reluctantly admitted that he could safely remove her stitches without going to the clinic. Now that she had nagged him into it, she was determined not to show him that it made her a little nervous.
She managed to remain still for the rest of the procedure, though she had to bite her tongue a couple of times when the slightly crusty stitches pulled as he removed them. To give him credit, he was amazingly gentle. She found that gazing up into his face helped take her mind off what he was doing.
He really did have a handsome face. She wondered now why she’d ever thought of him as just an average, pleasant-looking guy.
He met her eyes for a moment and smiled, making his face even more appealing. “You’re doing great now,” he assured her. “Maybe you’ll get a reward after all.”
“I’m counting on it,” she purred.
He cleared his throat. “Not a good idea to distract the doctor when he’s holding scissors.”
A few minutes later it was over. With a last swab of antibiotic over the mending wound, Joel pronounced it well on the way to being fully healed.
“It’s actually a very dashing scar,” he assured her with a smile. “Makes you look bold and adventurous.”
She laughed. “That’s always been my goal, of course.”
“Of course.”
She reached up to catch the collar of his shirt in both hands, drawing him down toward her. “I haven’t thanked you yet for your expert care.”
His mouth hovering just over hers, he replied, “It was entirely my pleasure.”
“It will be,” she promised and closed the gap between them.
It had been an amazing week, Nic thought as she lay against Joel’s shoulder some time later. They had spent every evening together from the time Joel got home from work until he left late each night to walk next door.
They had talked as easily as they ever did, laughed as much as before, but with a new awareness now of the attraction simmering between them. They talked about their work, about the TV programs they watched together, about music and movies and sports. They talked about everything except their relationship. Or their past relationships. Or the future.
Okay, she thought with a wince, so maybe they had carefully avoided talking about the really important issues between them. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
It was still early in their relationship. They didn’t need to get all
serious and introspective this soon.
He stirred and kissed the top of her head. “Are you hungry? I’m hungry.”
It was only four in the afternoon, too early for dinner. “I have some snack stuff in the kitchen, I think.”
“Sounds good. We can make a pot of coffee.”
“Okay.” She had noticed that Joel always seemed to find an excuse to get out of bed soon after they made love. Though he hadn’t exactly run in panic since that first time, he wasn’t one to cuddle and talk much afterward.
That seemed to be out of character to Nic. She’d have sworn he’d be the cuddle-and-talk type. Because she still wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t, she wondered if he worried about getting too serious in any conversations that might take place while they were still emotionally vulnerable.
They were going to have to really talk eventually, she mused as she slipped into her clothes. But she was in no more hurry than Joel to stray into that potentially dangerous territory.
They made coffee and put together a tray of cheeses, crackers and fruit. They carried the snacks into the living room and settled onto the couch with a pro football game playing on the television in front of them.
“Who’s your pick?” Joel asked, nodding toward the screen. “Steelers or Packers?”
“Steelers.”
“All right. I’ll take the Packers. Five bucks.”
“Sucker.” She popped a grape in her mouth and leaned back into the couch cushions feeling quite content.
Stacking two types of cheese on a whole wheat cracker, Joel asked, “Have you heard from Aislinn lately? I haven’t seen her around.”
“She calls. She hasn’t been around because she’s been busy. She had two weddings, two birthdays and an anniversary party this weekend. They all wanted fairly elaborate cakes for the occasions.”
“She’s really talented at that, isn’t she? Like an artist.”
“She is an artist. Some of her cake designs have won awards. She could be working in a big-time restaurant setting, but she prefers staying here, making just enough money to live frugally but comfortably.”