Best of Cowboys Bundle
Page 20
“The hell you are. You left a note saying you’d have the marriage ended. Get it annulled. I sent you the papers, registered.”
“I know you did. But I didn’t.”
“You’re not making sense.”
“And you’re making me nervous.” Worry lines creased her forehead. She clenched her hands in front of her, her fingers twisting like old rope.
Not thinking, he uncrossed his arms to reach out to her, then caught himself. What the hell was he doing? More important, what the hell was she trying to pull? He shouldn’t have trusted her back then; he sure wouldn’t trust her now. Clinging to what he knew, instead of reaching for what he had loved and lost, he nearly spit, “We’re divorced.”
“We’re not. I’m sorry, Gabe. This isn’t the way I’d planned to tell you. But the truth is, I never filed the paperwork. We’re still married.”
He shook his head to clear it. This conversation had doubled back faster than his best cow dog at roundup. “So I’ll take care of the paperwork myself. No problem. You can just hop on back in your car and head out.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“What do you mean?” His gut churned.
She looked toward the house. “Do you think we could go inside, where we could have a little privacy?”
“You want to be alone with me?”
Her gaze shot to his, then darted away.
“We’re fine right here.” He didn’t want her setting foot in his house again. Didn’t want her this close to him, even. He crossed his arms over his chest once more, readying himself for the next blow.
After a while, her eyes crept back to meet his. “This isn’t the way I’d planned to tell you this, either, but…”
His mind raced with scenarios, trying to figure out what more she could have done.
“What are you afraid of, Marissa? Nothing beats running out on me.” He laughed, low and without humor, and added in a mocking tone, “What happened? You maxed out the credit card I gave you? Defaulted on a loan? Got arrested and used my name to make bail? It’s all right. Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it.”
What was it?
The skin between his shoulder blades prickled, reminding him of the nearness of the kitchen window. He should have kept setting breakfast up in the bunkhouse kitchen, instead of bringing the boys to the main house. Then again, they’d provided him with a built-in excuse for not taking Marissa inside.
“I’ve got a ranch to run,” he reminded her, “so why don’t you say your piece and be on your way?”
Her deep breath sent a plume of white toward him. Her gaze skittered somewhere out past the barn. And her voice broke as she whispered words he had to bend closer to catch.
“We’re having a baby.”
WHAT A MESS she had gotten herself into.
Marissa eased into the kitchen. Gabe followed at her heels, closing the heavy door with a bang.
The men who sat around the long wooden trestle table jumped to their feet, chair legs screeching against linoleum, nearly drowning out their mumbled “Mornings” and “Ma’ams.” They bobbed their heads and stared at her.
After giving them a brittle smile, she sank into the nearest vacant seat. The cowboys backed away as if she had some dreaded disease.
She glanced down at the table, then shuddered. The breakfast dishes, wiped clean, did her chef’s heart good. But the plate at the other end of the table nearly did her in. The remains of sunny-side up eggs, runny yolk now congealing around a slice of cold toast, set off the queasiness she’d fought every morning for weeks.
Swallowing hard, she looked away.
The men had shifted their attention to Gabe. Reluctantly, she let hers wander there, as well.
She hadn’t wanted to come here today. But her conscience had told her she must. She had to tell Gabe, face-to-face, about the baby. She wanted him aware, involved from the start. But she hadn’t expected the sight of him to hit her so hard.
Her hands shook as she drank in the sight of the man she had never stopped wanting in all the months she’d been gone. The man she had conceived a child with—as far as she could determine—the very first time they’d made love.
She had loved him then, or so she’d thought.
For the first time in her life, she had been with someone who listened to her and made her feel important. He had made her feel loved and cherished and wanted.
She’d never been loved by anyone before.
And, yet, she’d never been more wrong.
He had carried her over the threshold, bringing her into this house that had never been her home. Then he’d left her to her own devices, while he spent seemingly his every waking moment at work on the ranch. The abruptness of the change had stunned her. Worse, it had turned Gabe into someone she didn’t know at all.
Now, he stood in the middle of the kitchen, focused on his men. Bands of early-morning light filtered through the slatted wooden blinds, streaking his brown hair and making his light-brown eyes shine.
His voice rumbled through the crowded room as he told the cowboys to get started on the day’s chores without him. The men nodded farewell to her, plucked their hats from the rack by the door and left the room at a near run.
Only Gabe remained.
He turned to her, and her throat tightened.
He grabbed a kitchen chair, flipped it around and straddled it, resting his arms on its back only inches from her.
She shifted, forcing a laugh. “Well, that was a first. At least, in my experience. In the two weeks I lived here, you never let the cowboys go off without you.”
“I own the ranch. I work it.”
“Work…” she repeated. “My point exactly. Work was your top priority.” Her heart ached at the thought.
“Had to be. I’ve got bills owing, men who need paying. And, back then, I had a wife I needed to support.” He shoved a breakfast plate aside, as if pushing his last comment away. Pushing her away. “Did you drive all night?”
“I stopped at a motel just a couple of hours away. I knew I would have to arrive before dawn to see you before you left the house for the day.” She put a hand to her stomach, still taut and flat, showing no evidence at all of the life that grew within her.
“You’re how far along?” he asked.
“About three and a half months.”
He nodded and kept eyeing her. “And you’re just getting around to telling me?”
“I didn’t know myself until a couple of weeks ago.”
His snort of derision radiated his disbelief. A chill ran through her. This wasn’t going at all the way she had planned.
“It’s true. I’ve always been irregular, so for the first couple of months I didn’t even notice. But a few weeks ago, I started to wonder. A home-test kit confirmed what I suspected.” She took a deep breath. “Gabe, you know there had to be a possibility of this happening.”
He raised a brow.
“No,” she whispered, barely able to breathe. “You don’t believe me.”
“Never said so.”
“You didn’t have to.” Fighting a wave of nausea, she planted her arms on the table.
He shook his head. “Guess I’ll just have to take your word for it.”
“Which is exactly what you’re not doing now. How could you, Gabe? How could you think I would ever—” She gave up. No sense wasting her breath. She gathered up her coat and stood. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”
She’d almost made it to the back door when his voice stopped her.
“Running away again, Marissa?”
Chapter Two
Marissa froze, facing the door, as Gabe’s taunting voice continued behind her.
“Aren’t you headed the wrong way? You’ve just told me I’m gonna be a daddy. With something like that to celebrate, you ought to be throwing yourself into my arms.”
She gave a strangled laugh and had to close her eyes against the thought of being held close to him again. His kisses, his caresses had been her down
fall once, but never again. “I don’t think so. In your arms is the last place I should be.”
“Honey, that’s no way to act, now that we’re going to be a family.”
A family. Her heart lurched at the word, at the dream she’d long held and never realized. Never would.
But what about the baby?
That was all that mattered. She had to think of their child.
She turned around. “Gabe, clearly, our marriage was a mistake. I decided it was best to walk away from it.” From you.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “So what brought you back here?”
“I had to tell you about the baby, of course.”
Again, he made a derisive sound. “Not good enough, Marissa. You could have called. Sent a telegram. A letter.”
“You’re right. I could have done any of those things.” She paused, trying to dredge up the speech she had prepared and rehearsed and memorized on the long drive from Chicago. “But I felt you had the right to hear it from me directly.”
“So you just decided to hop in the car and drive nine hundred miles to give me the news.”
“Yes. I was leaving Chicago, anyway.”
“What, you just up and quit that big-city job of yours?”
She answered his mocking question with a forced, measured reply. “Yes, I quit my job. They’ll get along without me. And, for your information, I gave two weeks’ notice first.”
Conveniently, her leaving had coincided with Father’s month-long business trip to Europe. The news would take a while to rise through the chain of command to his lofty level. Add one more item to the list of things he didn’t yet know about his daughter. Such as her pregnancy. And her marriage.
Clearing her throat, she continued, “I’m heading out West, not sure where yet. I’ll let you know. I’ll file the paperwork for the divorce, but of course you’ll want visiting rights. I’ll be in touch later about making those arrangements.”
“Not good enough,” he repeated.
Her hand shook as she ran it through her hair. Her eyes prickled from the threat of sudden tears. “I thought you would want to be involved in the baby’s life.”
“Got it all figured out, don’t you?” He frowned. “You walked away. Said we shouldn’t ever have gotten married. If you felt that way, why’d you even want me to know you were pregnant?”
“Because even though our marriage didn’t work out, you have the right to see your child. And because our baby has the right to a father.”
She glared at him, daring him to disagree. She’d defend this baby she already loved. Would take on Father, Gabe, anyone. And she’d given Gabe the plain and simple truth. At least, part of it.
The only part he needed to know.
In answer, he rose and moved to stand a mere two feet away. His eyes glowed as he stared down at her. Funny. This close, melting caramel looked more like scorching-hot embers.
“Damn right, the baby needs a father—a full-time one.”
Her heart thudded against her breast. She could barely breathe. Was he planning to fight for custody?
Gabe had the ranch. A steady income. A home.
She had nothing to give their child, nothing but love. That had to count for something.
“I told you I’m old-fashioned, Marissa. That means my child will be raised by two parents.”
He moved closer.
She struggled to find her voice. “That would be difficult, considering the circumstances. I’ll contact you after the baby’s born, and—”
He moved even closer. Her heart leaped.
“Not good enough.” He leaned forward, bending down until their noses nearly touched. His warm breath bathed her face.
Her throat closed so tightly she nearly choked. No matter how much she wanted their child to have a relationship with his or her father, she couldn’t risk living with Gabe again.
She couldn’t risk being near him, period.
He had seduced her, had made her feel loved for the first time in her life. But falling for him had reinforced her worst fears, too. The sexual attraction to him had swept her away and caused her to marry him. She had done what she had spent years swearing she would never do—follow in her mother’s footsteps.
Already, with Gabe standing so close, she could feel herself weaken. She tried to step away, but the knob of the kitchen door pressed against her back.
“You don’t think you can drop news like this and just take off again, do you? You don’t think I’m letting you walk away with my child inside you?”
“You’re not serious.”
He loomed in front of her, wearing an uncompromising scowl. “About raising this baby together? Dead serious.”
GABE KEPT HIS EYES on Marissa and told himself to harden his heart. As if he could actually get himself to do it.
Not likely, when he hadn’t had the strength of will to leave her out in the cold, no matter how much he’d wanted her gone. She’d looked pale and shaken, as if she’d gone the distance on a bad-tempered bull. Just the way he felt with the double whammy she’d delivered.
Not yet divorced. And now, pregnant.
“Have a seat.” He hooked the toe of his boot around the rung of a chair and pulled it closer to her. “You look like you need to get something in your stomach.”
She paled further. “M-maybe just some toast. Dry toast.”
Once she’d dropped into her seat, he cleared some dishes from the kitchen table and turned away. Without looking at her, he could almost breathe normally again.
“I could help myself.” Her voice shook.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” He took a plate down from the cupboard and dropped a slice of bread in the toaster. He remembered that she drank tea, and took a tea bag out of the tin.
He glanced at the back door just a few steps away. It was all he could do to keep himself from bolting out to the barn, saddling up Sunrise, and racing across his land. Anything to get away from facing this woman.
What the hell had spurred him to tell her they’d raise their kid together?
She’d been about to walk out on him. Yet again.
He’d gotten used to people leaving him. Employees who’d moved on, like the ranch foreman and his wife, who packed up just after Thanksgiving. Friends who’d decided they could find their fortune in some other town. His own mother…
He wouldn’t think about that right now.
He moved mechanically, filling a pan with hot soapy water. Putting tea and toast on the table in front of Marissa.
“Thanks.”
He grunted.
Now that he’d stopped moving, stopped feeling, he could take better stock. She looked as good as the day he’d met her, though the dark circles beneath her bright hazel eyes hadn’t been there before. He remembered the silkiness of the light-brown hair swirling around her shoulders, wanted to feel it sliding between his fingers again.
Tearing his gaze away, he turned back to the sink, needing something to occupy his hands and his mind.
Damn, why hadn’t he had Warren stay behind, like always? Giving the older man household chores since the ranch cook quit made Warren feel useful, as well as kept him from overworking himself. His old friend hadn’t caught on yet. Gabe liked it that way. But, today, he’d sent Warren out with the others.
He’d needed time to deal with Marissa, to come to terms with her news.
Trouble was, his gut told him all the time in the world wouldn’t help.
Behind him, he heard the crunch of dry toast, the clank of the teaspoon against the mug. “Gabe, I…need to use the facilities.”
He shrugged. “Help yourself. The boys’ve been using the one off the kitchen. You might want to head upstairs.”
“Thanks.”
She crossed the room. He watched until she slipped through the doorway and her footsteps echoed on the stairs. He heard the echo of the words she’d said outside, too.
We’re having a baby.
Not I’m pregnant. Or even, I’m havin
g a baby. No, she had gone straight to the heart of the matter with just the right words. She was having his baby. And she wanted him to have a relationship with the child.
Or so she claimed.
Why hadn’t she filed the divorce papers? Back then, to hear her tell it, she hadn’t even known she was pregnant.
Ugly thoughts uncoiled in his gut.
Three months had gone by. In that time, she could have done anything, been with anyone. How could he be sure the baby was his?
Hell, how could he even know for sure she was pregnant?
It came down to him trusting her. But after all she had done, all that had happened to him, trust was the one thing he didn’t have.
He braced a hand against the edge of the sink and stared, almost unseeing, at the soapy water dripping from the dishcloth onto the floor.
“Gabe?”
With an effort, he turned his head. Marissa stood in the doorway, staring at him.
“Are you okay?”
“Tea’s getting cold.” He waved her toward the table and held his breath till she started that way. Getting her seated again would solve his problem for the moment.
He’d have to think of a way to keep her on the ranch.
Just long enough for him to find out what she was up to.
WARILY, Marissa moved across the kitchen to her chair again. She took a mouthful of tea.
And nearly choked on it when Gabe braced a hand on the table beside her and leaned in.
“You’re my wife, Marissa. That right?”
“Yes,” she managed, her insides like gelatin. But she kept her voice steady.
His voice alone had the power to thrill her. How could she share a house with him?
Yet even as panic flooded through her, part of her said staying might be the solution to one of her concerns. The key to resolving an issue from her past.
A way to prove she wasn’t like her mother.
He sank into the adjacent seat and focused on her stomach. “That’s my baby you’re carrying?”
This time, she could only nod, and pray he didn’t see the quiver shooting through her at his nearness.
“You said it yourself, the baby’s got the right to a father.”