Best of Cowboys Bundle

by Vicki Lewis Thompson, Barbara White Daille, Judy Christenberry, Christine Wenger, Shirley Rogers, Crystal Green, Nina Bruhns, Candance Schuler, Carole Mortimer

  A cacophony of feminine voices erupted in whoops and squeals. Someone giggled. Someone else spewed a mouthful of tequila out of her nose. They had reached the point in the evening’s festivities where every utterance seemed screamingly funny to at least half of them, and deeply profound to the rest. They’d also gotten to the point where the discussion of sex was inevitable—and inevitably risqué.

  “So how about it, Cassie?” Roxy put her forearm flat on the table for balance and leaned in close, unmindful of the puddles of tequila soaking into the front of her satin chemise. “How is ol’ Rooster in the sack?”

  Cassie shook her head. “I don’t kiss and tell,” she muttered, hiding a lopsided smile behind the rim of her glass. “It’s not ladylike.”

  “Aw, come on, Cassie.” LaWanda Brewster fluffed her springy red curls in a gesture she’d copied from watching countless old Mae West movies. “There aren’t any ladies here. Spill.”

  “Yeah, spill, Cassie.” The added encouragement came from Melissa Meeker, an elegant and urbane mortgage broker who’d flown in from Atlanta the previous evening. “I’ve always wanted to know if what they say about bull riders is true.”

  Cassie came out from behind her shot glass and aimed a smile at her old college roommate and sorority sister. “And just what do they say about bull riders?”

  “Well.” Melissa edged closer to the table and leaned in to dish. Everyone else leaned in, too, until they were huddled over the coffee table like a gaggle of teenaged girls at a slumber party whispering about S-E-X. “I don’t have any personal experience, you understand. Not like some lucky people I could name—” she rolled her eyes at Cassie, who rolled them right back at her “—but I’ve heard tell that all that experience riding bulls sort of transfers over into other, more, shall we say, intimate kinds of riding.” She waggled her perfectly plucked eyebrows. “If you get my meaning.”

  They all got it, but, “No, tell us what you mean,” LaWanda said. “Don’t be shy. Just lay it right out there on the table.”

  “I mean,” Melissa continued, “if a bull rider can stick on the back of a bull with all that bucking. And twisting.” She drew out each word, her voice husky and heated and not the least bit shy. “And thrashing. And heaving. Well, then, it just naturally follows that he’d have that same kind of expertise and stick-to-it-ness in bed. At least—” she sighed lustily “—I sure hope it does.”

  Jo Beth sighed, too, thinking of one particular cowboy bucking and twisting and thrashing around in bed. It created quite a vivid picture in her mind’s eye. She sank back down on her heels and crossed her arms, very casually, over her chest in an effort to conceal just how vivid that picture was. Some of the other bridesmaids weren’t so circumspect.

  “Oh, gawd,” LaWanda squealed. “My nipples are getting hard just thinking about it.”

  “Speaking of nipples…” Barb Kittner, mother of two, heavily pregnant with her third, and the only one of the seven women who hadn’t sampled the tequila, smiled dreamily. “Cowboys have great hands. Have y’all noticed that? Big. Strong. Capable.” Her dreamy smile turned a shade sly as she pinched her own nipples through the fabric of her soft cotton nightshirt. “Talented.”

  The other women hooted in approval.

  Jo Beth pressed her thighs together and tried not to think of Clay Madison’s hands and what she had imagined them doing to her earlier that afternoon. Tried not to think of what they would most certainly have done if she’d invited him into the water tank with her instead of sending him away. If she’d said yes, if she’d actually allowed him to do everything she’d imagined him doing, she wouldn’t be suffering the tortures of the foolishly celibate now, listening to the other women talk about cowboys’ legendary—and wholly inflated!—sexual expertise.

  “They’ve got great butts, too. Nice and small with tight, compact little buns. Tasty.” Karen Holden, oldest bridesmaid by six months and leader of the Bowie First Fellowship Church Choir, smacked her lips. “Mighty tasty.” She chuckled wickedly. “Makes me want to leave teeth marks on ’em.”

  “Good idea.” LaWanda waved her empty glass to show her approval. “Put your brand right smack-dab on their cute little tushies. Keep ’em from straying.”

  Jo Beth pressed her thighs even tighter together, and prayed for a turn in the conversation. Good Lord! Did all women have the same fantasies about cowboys? Or had she somehow telegraphed her lustful daydreams to the rest of the bridesmaids? Not that she’d actually imagined biting Clay’s backside but…damn if the idea didn’t sound kind of appealing, now that she thought of it. She squirmed slightly, trying to banish the picture of Clay lying facedown in the sheets on her bed, his tight little cowboy butt offered up like a particularly tasty treat.

  “They’ve got great shoulders, too,” Melissa said. “Have you noticed? You just don’t see any stoop-shouldered cowboys running around, now do you? I wonder why that is?”

  An instant picture formed in Jo Beth’s mind of Clay Madison’s shoulders. They were a yard wide, at least. Or they’d looked that wide, at any rate, with him sitting up there, atop that pinto gelding, with the sun at his back, silhouetting his impressive shoulders against the blue sky. They’d have been more impressive, of course, without the shirt. Jo Beth closed her eyes, imagining it…imagining him slowly unsnapping the front of that black shirt…imagining him sliding it down off one magnificently broad shoulder…imagining…

  “I just like the way cowboys are built. Period,” LaWanda said. “All lean and wiry, with—Hey, Jo Beth. You falling asleep on us?”

  Jo Beth’s eyes snapped open. “Oh. No. Sorry. Just resting my eyes. Too much tequila,” she said, flushing as she pushed her empty glass away. “I need to switch to something softer.” She placed one hand flat against the table and levered herself to her feet. “Anybody else want a Coke or a Dr. Pepper while I’m up?”

  Nobody did.

  They refilled their shot glasses with what was left of the tequila and went right on talking about cowboys while she made her way out to the kitchen.

  THINGS WERE A TAD MORE SEDATE over in the bunkhouse at Tom Steele’s Second Chance Ranch, where Rooster and his groomsmen were holding the bachelor party. The seven men sat around a scarred wooden game table, mostly silent as they scrutinized the cards they’d been dealt. George Strait sang softly from the CD player. A narrow side table held the remains of a jumbo deli platter. The yeasty smell of beer mixed with the cigar smoke hovering in a blue cloud over their heads.

  “I’m in.” Clay tossed a couple of chips into the pot in the middle of the table, then reached out a long arm and tapped his cigar on the edge of a terra-cotta flowerpot they were using as an ashtray. So far, the spiny barrel cactus in it didn’t seem any the worse for wear. “So, what are the ladies up to tonight?”

  Rooster squinted at the cards in his hand. “Slumber party,” he said and tossed in his chips to match Clay’s bet.

  “Slumber party?”

  “Yeah, you know. A bunch of women in pajamas doin’ girl stuff. Watchin’ sappy movies. Eatin’ popcorn. Talkin’ about whatever it is women talk about when they get together. Probably fixin’ each other’s hair and nails. Stuff like that.”

  Clay immediately honed in on what was really important. “What kind of pajamas?”

  Tom grinned around the thin black cheroot clamped in his teeth. “I can’t speak for the rest of them, but Roxy packed a really hot-looking pink number with lace all over it,” he said. He’d been jealous of Clay once, a long time ago. He figured it was only fair Clay return the favor now. “Black lace.”

  “Black lace, huh?” Clay threw down a couple of cards. “Two,” he said to Hector before turning to Rooster. “How ’bout Cassie?”

  Rooster was still squinting at his cards. “How ’bout Cassie what?”

  “Her pajamas. She pack a hot number for the slumber party, too?”

  “Cassie don’t wear pajamas,” Rooster said, and then blushed beet-red. “What I mean is,” he sputtered, manfu
lly ignoring the snickering of his groomsmen, “she wears a nightgown.”

  “What color?” Clay asked.

  “I dunno. Blue, usually.”

  “It have any lace on it?”

  Rooster shook his head. “Flowers,” he said, as he tossed down a single card and signaled for one to replace it.

  Quiet reigned for a moment as they all studied their newly reconstituted hands. Bob Evers and Tiny O’Leary, both buddies of Rooster’s from the rodeo circuit, threw down their cards in disgust and got up to get more beer and scavenge at the remains of the deli platter. The other five men all added chips to the pot.

  “You know who I wouldn’t mind seeing in her pajamas is that redhead,” Tiny said as he wandered back to the poker table to kibitz. He had a fat dill pickle in one hand and a beer in the other. “That LaWanda what’s-her-name?”

  “LaWanda Brewster,” Rooster said.

  “Yeah, that’s the one.” Pickle juice dripped down onto the front of Tiny’s plaid shirt but he paid it no mind. “She’s built real nice, that one is. I bet she looks fine in her pajamas. Or in nothin’ at all, if it come to that.”

  “Well, hell, if we’re fantasizin’ here and pickin’ favorites, I’ll admit to some curiosity about that slick little gal who flew in from Atlanta yesterday.” Joel Boyd, who ran the local feed store, had been a friend of Rooster’s since they both got sent to detention in high school. “I bet she wears one of those thong things. Most city women do.”

  “And you’d know that how?” Tom said. He’d known Joel since high school, too, and felt free to razz him when the BS quotient got too high.

  “I read about it in Cosmo,” Joel said, deadpan. He tossed a chip into the pot. “Call.”

  Rooster grunted derisively. “I think you’d be ashamed to admit you read that kind of smut.” He tossed in two chips, doubling the bet. “Call and raise.”

  “I’m out.” Tom laid his cards facedown on the table and reached for his beer. “You know, I saw all Cassie’s bridesmaids in their pajamas once,” he said into the silence, as they waited for Clay to decide whether he was in or out. “Briefly. It was back in high school. Me and Rooster and a couple of our buddies got it into our heads to crash the cheerleaders’ annual slumber party.”

  Rooster smiled in fond remembrance. “The girls started screamin’ and runnin’ around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off when we tapped on the window glass. You’d’a thought we was serial killers or somethin’. A right fine sight, it was. All those cheerleaders flittin’ around in their baby-doll nightgowns.”

  Clay glanced up from his contemplation of his cards. “Any of ’em wearing lace?”

  “Not that I recall.” Tom finished off the last swallow of his beer and flipped the empty can into a wastebasket. “’Course I have to admit I was kind of distracted by LaWanda’s sister. She’s seven or eight years older, which would have made her all of about twenty-four at the time. She was chaperoning the party.” He shot a grin at Rooster. “Remember?”

  Rooster gave a bark of laughter. “I ain’t likely to forget it. She came chargin’ out onto the porch with her daddy’s shotgun pumped and ready, wearin’ nothin’ but a skimpy little black nightgown—”

  “With lace,” Tom added for Clay’s benefit.

  “—and her hair done up with them big pink rollers with one of those what’d’ya call ’em?—beauty masks?—smeared all over her face. Threatened to pepper our asses with buckshot if we didn’t hightail it outta there. She would’a done it, too.”

  “She a redhead, too?” Tiny took up the subject of LaWanda and redheads as if they’d never left it. “I’ve always been partial to red hair on a woman. Top and bottom, if you know what I mean.”

  “Gentlemen, please.” Hector “Padre” Menendez censored them all with a look from beneath his grizzled brows. He was an imposing patriarchal figure, more than twice the age of most of the other groomsmen, and had had a hand in raising both Rooster and Tom. “You’re talking about our friends and neighbors, and the wives and daughters of our friends and neighbors. Show a little respect.”

  They all had the grace to look shamefaced, except Clay, who sat brooding at his cards, wondering why no one had picked Jo Beth Jensen as an object of their erotic fantasies. True, she wasn’t as out-and-out, in-your-face sexy as Tom’s wife Roxy. She didn’t have flaming red hair and generous curves like LaWanda. She lacked Cassie’s kittenish cuteness. But, damn, she was hot—burning-up-the-stove, curl-your-toes, fry-your-brain hot.

  Hadn’t any of these jackasses ever looked at her, he wondered, forgetting that he himself hadn’t really looked at her, either, until she appeared naked in the viewfinder of his binoculars.

  “Hey, pard.” Rooster nudged him with his elbow. “You gonna hold ’em or fold ’em?”

  “Sorry.” Clay tossed in the chips necessary to stay in the game. “Hold,” he said, and then sat silently while the game progressed, entertaining himself with fantasies of Jo Beth Jensen wearing nothing but a black-lace thong while performing lewd and wonderful acts upon his body.

  It was a shame, really, that he wouldn’t be in town long enough to make those fantasies a reality. On the other hand, he wasn’t planning to leave Bowie until the day after the wedding. Two days was more than enough time to make his fantasies—and hers—come true.

  “Well, hell, if you’re gonna sit there grinnin’ like a skunk eatin’ cabbage, I’m out, too,” Rooster said, and tossed down his cards.

  THEY WERE STILL TALKING about cowboys when Jo Beth came back into the living room with an icy can of soda in her hand.

  “It’s not just that they have the…um…bucking technique down pat,” Roxy was saying as Jo Beth carefully folded herself back down between the coffee table and sofa. “Or how great their hands and butts are. It’s their incredible stamina. That’s what’s really impressive.”

  Melissa’s gulp was audible. She licked her lips. “They have incredible stamina?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Roxy nodded sagely. “In-cred-i-ble. And it’s not just bull riders. It’s bronc riders, too. Think about it. They’re in the saddle, on top of those bulls and broncs, day after day. Sometimes two and three times a day during the summer season. And night after night, too. Isn’t that right, Cassie?”

  Cassie nodded so hard she nearly toppled over.

  “For a bull or bronc rider the job is all about holding tight and staying on till the ride’s over. That’s the cowboy way. And they tend to keep right on doing it that way.” Roxy flashed a wickedly smug little smile. After all, her husband had been a champion bronc rider. “Even after they retire.”

  Jo Beth snorted derisively, deciding it was time to inject a little reality into the conversation. They could all use a dose of common sense to counter the braggadocio. And she could certainly do with a change of subject. All this talk of cowboys and sex was getting her hot. Okay, hotter.

  “Cowboys may stay on till the ride’s over,” she said, “but in rodeo, remember, the ride’s over in eight seconds.”

  “Yeah, but it’s a wild ride,” Cassie said. “And they’re always ready for a second and third go-round to better their score.”

  Roxy hoisted her empty glass. “To the cowboy way!”

  The other women whooped and hollered.

  Jo Beth pressed the cold soda can to the pulsing vein in her neck to cool herself down. It didn’t help.

  “WELL, BOYS, I think I’ll call it a night.” Hector rose stiffly from his seat, mindful of the arthritis that stiffened his joints when he sat in one position for too long. “I’m not as young as I used to be, and sunup seems to come earlier every day.”

  “I think I’ll chuck it in, too,” Joel said. “I promised Margie I wouldn’t stay out too late.”

  “Since when is ten o’clock late?” Tiny asked.

  “Since Joel Jr. started teething and Margie started having her morning sickness at night.”

  “Well, if that don’t beat all.” Tiny shook his head in disbelief. “Breaki
n’ up a perfectly good poker game because of a cranky baby and a woman who can’t keep her supper down.” He leveled a half-humorous, half-serious glance at Rooster. “That’s what happens when you get married, you know. You sure you wanna go through with it?”

  “Sure as death and taxes.”

  “Well, don’t say nobody warned you.” Tiny pushed to his feet. “See y’all tomorrow at the church.” He cuffed Rooster on the shoulder as he rose. “’Less you come to your senses before then, that is.”

  “Hey, the game don’t have to break up just because Hector and Joel are out,” Rooster protested. “Five players is more than plenty to keep it interestin’.”

  “Naw, I think I’ll head back to the motel and hit the sack. I’m kinda tired now that I think on it.” Tiny yawned hugely. “And my luck ain’t been all that good tonight, anyway.” He nudged Bob Evers with the toe of his boot. “You ’bout ready to roll?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Bob lumbered to his feet. “You own the keys to the truck.”

  “They ain’t goin’ to the motel no how, no way,” said Rooster as the door to the bunkhouse swung closed behind his two escaping groomsmen. “Tiny O’Leary ain’t never hit the sack before midnight for as long as I’ve known him, unless he had a woman in it with him. They’re headin’ over to that honky-tonk out on 81. They got strippers there.”

  “I thought about getting strippers for tonight,” Clay said. “Bachelor party tradition an’ all, you know? But, then, I decided against it because, well, hell.” He shrugged. “I figured Cassie and the rest of the ladies wouldn’t like it if they found out we’d had strippers.” It was the truth, as far as it went, just not the whole truth. The whole truth was that he’d kind of lost his taste for that sort of thing even before the run-in with ol’ Boomer had put a crimp in his love life. But that wasn’t the kind of thing one man admitted to another—especially when that man had a reputation to protect. “We could head over to the honky-tonk if you want to, though. It’s your bachelor party.”