Off the Sidelines
Page 20
There are women doing amazing things, and you should be one of them. Debbie Sterling, who graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering and product design from Stanford, started GoldieBlox, a toy company aimed at inspiring girls to become engineers. Her product line touched such a nerve that GoldieBlox beat out fifteen thousand other small companies in a contest to have their ad aired during the Super Bowl. The GoldieBlox spot showed girls blasting old pink dollhouses and toy kitchen appliances into space.
Or take Edie Windsor. She sued the United States government to recognize the validity of her marriage to another woman, and at age eighty-four, she saw the Supreme Court rule in her favor, striking down the Defense of Marriage Act’s federal prohibition on recognizing same-sex marriage. Edie’s willingness to speak out, use her story, and fight caused a major shift in the United States and healed a personal pain in so many individuals’ lives. State by state, our country is overcoming decades of injustice and allowing people to marry the ones they love, whatever gender those people might be. And we have Edie, a fiery octogenarian, to thank.
Others are just starting the fight. Just recently, I walked into my office before a press conference about sexual assault on college campuses, and two young women greeted me. Both attended an Ivy League school and both had been through hell: first surviving violent assaults, then suffering the trauma of reporting those assaults to incompetent campus review panels that belittled them. At the press conference, I watched one of the young women train her eyes on the cameras and relive the worse moments of her life. Her delivery was flawless; her courage strengthened with every word. She possessed more power at that moment than any board member or college president. Just by telling her story, speaking truth to authority, she was changing the world.
We have unimaginable strength. This college senior never imagined she’d be raped, and she never imagined the university would turn its back on her. But she refused to let those events define or defeat her. She claimed the power of her voice and used her story and her pain to make life better for others.
We all need to do this: speak up, gather strength, support one another. If we do, women will sit at every table of power, making decisions. In Hollywood we’ll have more films and television shows that depict women as intelligent, courageous, principled leaders, not as T and A. In business, we’ll have more products and services that meet our needs. In communities, we’ll have safer streets, cleaner air, and greater sustainability. In our homes, we’ll have less domestic violence and child abuse. In government, we’ll have policies that allow all Americans to thrive and reflect what we believe.
How can you become part of this change? The first step is to think about giving. This starts, for all of us, at home. I believe it’s essential to instill in our children a feeling of gratitude for what they have and a desire to help others with less. Every year my boys and I go through all their clothes, toys, and books and decide what they should donate to other children who need those items more. These lessons are reinforced at the boys’ school, where each Christmas, we collect hats and gloves and hang them on a giving tree and buy gifts from Santa for a boy in our community who might otherwise go without. One year the boys helped organize a book drive to serve those most in need in our community. Each Wednesday all the children bring in extra food to share with local families who don’t have enough.
How can you get off the sidelines in your own life? Here are just a few ideas to think about. Start with yourself: Wake up thirty minutes earlier in the morning and go for a walk or jog so you can face the day from a stronger, healthier, happier place. Practice compassion with yourself and others. In your community, volunteer to feed families in need at your church. Visit someone who is lonely. Plant trees or a community garden to teach your kids about sustainability. At work, sponsor a talented young woman. Donate business clothes you no longer wear to Dress for Success, a great organization that gives clothes and other professional-development assistance to women who need a boost jump-starting their careers. At home, snuggle up next to your daughter and learn to how to program through the zombie games on code.org. Give your niece a mini-microscope for her birthday. Teach your boys that girls are smart and valuable, even if they find them curious. Above all, protect your children’s most daring childhood dreams.
Inside the political process, blog, tweet, or write letters to the editor holding elected officials accountable. Drive senior citizens to the polls. Make sure your friends and family vote. If you really want to step it up, organize a fundraiser or write a check to your favorite candidate—even $10 can make a difference. Best yet, run for elected office. I promise you, representing your fellow citizens is more fun, more fulfilling, and less scary than it seems. If you end up here in Washington, I promise to take it upon myself to keep you off the sidelines. I probably have a suit in your size, and we could really use another starting pitcher for the women’s congressional softball team.
Erastus Corning 2nd and Polly Noonan (front row, first and second from right), in group at Assembly, circa 1937.
(IMAGE COURTESY OF THE ALBANY INSTITUTE OF HISTORY & ART LIBRARY)
My parents’ senior prom, spring 1958.
Mom, holding Doug, at her law school graduation, May 1966.
Dad didn’t call me Loudmouth for nothing.
On the porch at our Putnam Street house.
Doug, Erin, and me (left). Erin and I are wearing dresses sewn by our mother.
Erin and me (right) in tutus in front of our Brady Bunch–style house in Albany.
Cousins and friends in Grandma’s backyard. I’m in blue. Dad is holding a fish he caught in her pond.
In the kitchen of the Albany house. Polly is holding my cousin Joseph.
Around age nine in my immaculate Type A bedroom.
My First Communion, May 1974.
Erin (right) and me at our first charitable event, the Gold and Silver Ball at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, benefitting the Youth Counseling League, New York City, 1983. My job was to solicit ads and raise funds.
With my friend Elsa Scagel (left) at Emma Willard School graduation, 1984.
The Dartmouth squash team—I’m in the front row, third from right. Coach Aggie Kurtz is standing at far right.
Connie Britton and me in China.
With my Dartmouth senior-year roommates Regina Glocker (left) and Reghan Foster Diaz. Our other roommate, Elizabeth Keenan Thompson, took the photo!
With Kathy Baird (left) and Erin hosting a holiday party in Erin’s and my first New York City apartment (at 86th Street and Second Avenue).
At a Hillary Rodham Clinton fundraiser at Felice Axelrod’s apartment, where I first offered to work on her Senate campaign, New York City, 1999.
Jonathan and me when we were first dating. Elaine Bartley’s wedding, Lake George, New York, September 1999.
With Mom and Grandma, 2001.
My ladies’ bridal luncheon at the Lotos Club, with my New York crew, New York City, April 6, 2001. From left to right: Angela Burgess, me, Marianne Fogarty, Lucy Fato, Gillian Eastwood.
At my bridal luncheon. From left to right: my sister-in-law Elizabeth Rutnik, Paige Crable DeMarco, Jennifer Whalen, me, Elaine Bartley.
Our wedding day, Yale Club, New York City, April 7, 2001.
With baby Theo.
Theo and Jonathan painting signs for my 2006 campaign.
With Bill Clinton and Congressman Mike McNulty the day before Election Day 2006.
A full crowd at my congressional swearing-in, Speakers Lobby, Capitol. Left to right: Doug with children Alexandra and Douglas, Erin with children Matea and Massimo, Dad, me, and Theo, Jonathan, cousin Cathleen Montimurro, Mom.
With Mom, changing Henry’s diaper on Governor Paterson’s conference table, January 2009.
Theo’s seventh birthday, November 2010, the morning after I won the Senate special election.
Rachel Zarghami Wolf with son Kyle, me with three-year-old birthday boy Henry, Elaine Bartley, Caroline Caputo, and Jennifer Whalen (front), Ma
y 2011.
With Connie Britton and her adopted son, Eyob, January 2012.
With Gabby Giffords and Debbie Wasserman Schultz on the day Gabby threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the annual Congressional Women’s Softball Game, June 18, 2014.
(PHOTO BY JEFF MALET, MALETPHOTO.COM)
Greeting President Barack Obama following the memorial service “Together We Thrive: Tucson and America” at McKale Memorial Center, the University of Arizona in Tucson, January 12, 2011.
(OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PHOTO BY PETE SOUZA)
With Dad on Election Night 2012.
(PHOTO BY NANCY BOROWICK)
With Jonathan, Henry, and Theo on Election Night 2012.
(PHOTO BY NANCY BOROWICK)
My swearing-in with Vice President Joe Biden, Henry, and Theo, old Senate chambers, January 2013.
Walking back to my in-laws’ home in London (behind us is a statue of Saint Thomas More), Christmas Day 2013. Both boys were well behaved in church for Granny and Papa.
For Grandma
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
With much gratitude, I’d like to thank all the people who helped make writing this book possible. Top among them: my editor, Jennie Tung; my collaborator, Elizabeth Weil; my lawyer, Bob Barnett; and all the wonderful people at Ballantine Books. A special thanks to Secretary Hillary Clinton for writing such a kind foreword and being such an invaluable role model, mentor, and friend.
I’d also like to thank my staff for their endless patience and years of excellent public service.
With much love, I’m grateful to my dear friends and family, my wonderful husband, Jonathan, and my greatest blessings, Theo and Henry, for keeping me happy and centered on what’s most important.
Most deeply, I’d like to thank all the women who have inspired me by speaking out and making their voices heard. This book is for you.
RESOURCES
General (All Women)
American Association of University Women
www.aauw.org
Catalyst
www.catalyst.org
Dress For Success
www.dressforsuccess.org
Higher Heights for America
www.higherheightsforamerica.org
League of Women Voters
www.lwv.org
Makers
www.makers.com
National Organization for Women
now.org
National Partnership for Women & Families
www.nationalpartnership.org
National Women’s Law Center
www.nwlc.org
The Shriver Report
shriverreport.org
Young Women and Girls
The Girl Effect
www.girleffect.org
Girl Scouts
www.girlscouts.org
GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services)
www.gems-girls.org
Girls Inc.
www.girlsinc.org
Girls Who Code
girlswhocode.com
Ignite (Inspiring Girls Now in Technology Evolution)
www.igniteworldwide.org
Million Women Mentors
www.millionwomenmentors.org
International Women
Equality Now
www.equalitynow.org
Every Mother Counts
everymothercounts.org
Half the Sky Movement
www.halftheskymovement.org
The Malala Fund
malalafund.org
UN Women
www.unwomen.org
Vital Voices Global Partnership
www.vitalvoices.org
Women for Women International
www.womenforwomen.org
Women in the World Foundation
www.thedailybeast.com/witw.html
Running for Office
Center for American Women and Politics
www.cawp.rutgers.edu
The Eleanor Roosevelt Legacy
www.eleanorslegacy.com
Elect Her—Campus Women Win
www.aauw.org/what-we-do/campus-programs/elect-her-campus-women-win
Emerge America
www.emergeamerica.org
EMILY’s List
www.emilyslist.org
Run Women Run
www.runwomenrun.org
Running Start
runningstartonline.org
She Should Run
www.sheshouldrun.org
Women’s Campaign Fund
www.wcfonline.org
The Women’s Campaign School at Yale University
www.wcsyale.org
Building a Community
BlogHer
www.blogher.com
Lean In
leanin.org
Levo League
www.levo.com
Moms Rising
www.momsrising.org
UltraViolet
www.weareultraviolet.org
About the Author
A magna cum laude graduate of Dartmouth College in 1988, KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND went on to receive her law degree from the UCLA School of Law in 1991 and served as a law clerk on the Second Circuit Court of Appeals. After working as an attorney in New York City for nearly a decade, Gillibrand served as special counsel to Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Andrew Cuomo during the Clinton administration, then again as an attorney before serving in the U.S. House of Representatives, representing New York’s 20th Congressional District, which spans ten counties in upstate New York. Gillibrand was first sworn in as United States senator from New York in January 2009, filling Hillary Rodham Clinton’s seat. In November 2012 she was elected to her first six-year Senate term with 72 percent of the vote, a New York State record, winning sixty of New York’s sixty-two counties. She lives in Troy, New York, with her husband, Jonathan, and their sons, Theo and Henry.