Musketeer Space
Page 58
Ro took hold of Dana’s shoulders, crowding her against the nearest wall and kissing her like they were on a burning spaceship about to die.
Dana gasped into the kiss, surprise giving way to hell yes, want, and wound one arm around Ro’s neck, reeling her in.
“Right,” said Ro as they broke apart. “It’s not the Sabre uniform, is it? Because I hardly ever wear one of these.”
“It’s definitely not the uniform,” said Dana, grinning at her.
“Okay. Good to know.” Ro raked her fingers through her long hair. Dana had never seen her looking nervous before. It was kind of great. “I’ll be seeing you, buttercup.” She gave Dana a half-mocking salute, and strode away down the corridor.
Dana stayed leaning against the wall a little longer, catching her breath. And yes, sure, she did watch very closely as Ro walked away.
Hell. Yes. Want.
Huh.
62
We’ll Always Have Paris
Seven months after the abrupt end of the Second Sun-kissed War, Regence Lalla Louise Renard Royal and her husband, Prince Consort Alek of Auster, became parents to triplets. Royal baby fever had run high for months, and Gossipnode exploded with the anticipation of this happy event.
For Dana and the other Musketeers, life did not change at first, though security details for the royal family immediately became more complex. There were more changes on the horizon to be anticipated.
“Three of them,” said Athos dourly, as the Inseparables gathered in the Abbey of St Germain for the age-old tradition of wetting a baby’s head. Three babies meant many drinks. “Fifteen years, maybe less, and our jobs will be to keep those three royalings out of every dodgy nightclub, rave, bubble club and whatever the hell teenagers invent to do to themselves between now and then. Never mind Musketeers. We’ll be the sex and drugs police.”
“Isn’t that already your job?” Aramis said archly. “I wouldn’t worry about it, darling. We’ll be long gone by then.”
Porthos coughed. “Are we going somewhere?”
Aramis pointed a long, elegant finger in her direction. “Don’t pretend that fancy Chef Coquenard hasn’t asked you to marry him.”
Porthos rolled her eyes. “I haven’t said yes. Besides, I can be married and still a Musketeer, it’s not against the law.”
Dana brought a new tray of drinks to the table, and caught the tail end of the conversation. “Is this the part where you convince us you’re going to retire to a quiet life as an Abbot somewhere in the outer System, Aramis? Because no one actually believes that.”
“I’d be brilliant at it,” Aramis protested.
“Surrounded by priests and intellectuals all day, honour-bound not to seduce any married ladies you come across?” Dana actually scoffed. “Yeah, right.”
“What about you, Dana?” Porthos asked, to keep the peace.
“Oh, I’m always going to be a Musketeer,” Dana said, without hesitation. “Forever.”
Athos clinked his glass solemnly against hers. “As is only right and proper.”
“There’s more to life than being a Musketeer,” Aramis insisted. “There’s a whole wide universe of possibilities out there.”
Dana and Athos gave her identical expressions that clearly told her that she was 100% wrong, and they feared for her sanity.
“For example, Athos,” Aramis went on, continuing her thesis. “I can definitely see you in your more mature years, taking up an aristocratic estate somewhere. Not La Fere, of course, something more modest for your noble needs. Only one library. Perhaps you’ll find yourself raising a young ward whose chin is suspiciously similar to your own…”
Athos glared at her. “Never going to happen,” he growled.
Aramis fluttered her eyelashes at him. “You know Chevreuse and I talk, right? I’m perfectly aware of that trip to Peace you took last time Treville gave you leave ‘for your health’.”
“Mind your own damn business,” Athos said, and knocked back half his drink.
Dana was only half aware that their bickering continued, rising and falling in the background like the energy hum of a musket-class dart in need of recharging. She had stopped paying attention, because Special Agent Rosnay Cho had just walked into the bar.
Her flight suit was pale turquoise, her long black hair spilled down her back, and her manner was all business. She did not acknowledge Dana’s presence, but went straight to the bartender.
Dana did not even pretend not to watch the other woman as Ro very deliberately scratched the scar on her face, then lay three fingers alongside her own chin.
On high alert, Dana surveyed the bar. “Those three,” she whispered. “In the corner. Don’t they match the description of the terrorists who tried to disrupt the press conference last week?”
Rosnay Cho knocked back a shot of something highly alcoholic at the bar, and turned around and left with a smirk on her face, still not making eye contact with Dana. She didn’t have to.
“That woman,” breathed Aramis. “So useful to have around.”
“Hands off, I saw her first,” said Dana, with pride in her voice.
Porthos glanced casually across at the three men in the far corner. “How are we going to do this? Call for backup? Quietly evacuate the bar? Everything by the books?”
“Sure,” said Athos, draining the last of his drink, and wiping his mouth. “Or we can flip the table, draw our blades, see what happens.”
Aramis shot him a fond smile. “As always, Athos, I’m in awe of your strategic brain.”
“All for one,” said Porthos, grinning so fiercely that it was amazing the bar had not already emptied at the disturbing sight.
Athos groaned. “Must we, really?”
“And one for all!” crowed Dana.
“Aren’t we beyond team chants and catchphrases?”
“Shut up, Athos. Play nice.”
“Flip the table already.”
It was, they decided later, somewhere in the top three of best bar fights ever, resulting in six arrests, three dislocated shoulders, and only two major sword wounds. If there was more to life than being a Musketeer, Dana ever didn’t care to find out.
About the Author
Tansy Rayner Roberts is an award-winning author and critic who lives in Tasmania, Australia with her family. She has a PhD in Classics, which she misused scurrilously to create the short story collection: Love and Romanpunk. She also writes about, though not exclusively, pirates, witches, superheroes, fairy tale newspapers and magical share houses.
You can listen to Tansy across three different podcasts: Galactic Suburbia, providing a feminist point-of-view of the SF publishing world; Verity! six smart women talking about Doctor Who; and Sheep Might Fly, where Tansy reads aloud her stories as audio serials.
Support Tansy’s Patreon to receive all kinds of rewards, including ebooks, exclusive stories and more.
Find TansyRR at:
tansyrr.com
Joyeux
Not quite ready to let the Musketeers go? Find out what Athos, Porthos and Aramis were doing the year before the adventure began!
It’s festival time on Paris Satellite: a seven day whirl of drunken bets, poor decision-making, religious contemplation and tinsel. But mostly, poor decision-making.
Porthos and Athos aren’t going to sleep together, no matter what Aramis says. Aramis isn’t going to marry her girlfriend, Minister Chevreuse, which probably means they’re breaking up. Athos is not prepared to be visited by the ghost of his dead husband. Oh, and the Duchess of Buckingham is totally not going to hook up with the Prince Consort thereby causing an interplanetary diplomatic disaster… right?
When a group of “festive terrorists” inflict traditions from a very different midwinter festival on the space station via nano-virus, the Musketeers and the Red Guard are expected to work together to protect Paris Satellite. This isn’t going to end well.
Joyeux is the prequel novella to Musketeer Space. Buy Your Copy Today!
It’s Raining Musketeers
All for one and one for all!
The Three Musketeers was a 19th century novel about 18th century French soldiers running around Paris, getting into duels, tripping over sex scandals and occasionally rescuing noble ladies from ruin and embarrassment. Thanks to cinema and TV, very generation has their own version of D'Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, Milady, Rochefort and the sinister Cardinal Richelieu.
SF author Tansy Rayner Roberts (author of Musketeer Space) explores various adaptations of the swashbuckling story, including the most recent BBC series, Richard Lester's famous two-film epic, the Golden Age of Hollywood, a Russian musical, a K-drama combining French and Korean history, and multiple animated versions where the characters are played by dogs, or Mickey Mouse, or Barbie.
Will Constance always die? Will Rochefort always live? Do you have to like D'Artagnan to appreciate this story? Is the Cardinal actually a villain? Is Racquel Welsh a comic genius? Why can't they all be musicals? Learn about Angst Hats, the absence of muskets, and the undeniable fact that Milady De Winter will always be better dressed than everyone, except maybe the Queen of France.
Four Musketeers. Thirteen D'Artagnans. Twenty-one essays.
Buy It’s Raining Musketeers today!
Sheep Might Fly
Also by Tansy Rayner Roberts
BELLADONNA UNIVERSITY
Fake Geek Girl
Unmagical Boy Story
The Bromancers
MOCKLORE
The Mocklore Omnibus
Ink Black Magic
Bounty
MUSKETEERS IN SPACE
Musketeer Space
Joyeux
SHORT FICTION:
Love and Romanpunk
Please Look After This Angel
Kid Dark Against The Machine
CASTLE CHARMING
Glass Slipper Scandal
Dance, Princes, Dance
NON-FICTION & ESSAYS
It’s Raining Musketeers
Pratchett’s Women
50 Roman Mistresses
Acknowledgments
This book happened because of Patreon, and my many enthusiastic supporters and weekly readers. The idea of publishing a web serial without having finished the book first was quite terrifying, like the writing equivalent of skydiving (no net!) but I also think this is the most fun I've ever had writing a book.
Thank you so much to my supporters through the crowdfunding and serialising process! Many thanks also to my husband the Silent Producer for technical support, to Tehani and Kathryn for proofing, and my daughters for not being too sarcastic at me about my Musketeer obsession. A special shout out to those $10 a month patrons who named most of my spaceships for me!
Naturally the person that this book owes most to is Alexandre Dumas himself, who wrote a spectacular, chaotic adventure novel in 1844, in serial format. I took the structure of the original The Three Musketeers, and transformed it into a (mostly) gender-swapped space opera, while keeping the original structure and as much of the plot as humanly possible in place. I learned more about world-building, plotting and characterisation with this book than in any previous creative project! I can highly recommend that all authors take liberties with the classics as often as possible.
Tansy Rayner Roberts, 2016