From The Shadows (From The Shadows #1)

by Line F. Nielsen

It did make it easier on me that we didn´t get into those subjects, but I was not sure how I felt about Josephine knowing all sorts of things about me. If she did, that was. And then it hit me that I was just over thinking things again, if she knew, it didn´t seem to bother her and thinking about it; why would it? Her sons had gone through bad things too, growing up, not exactly the same things but tough enough no less.

  As the time neared 2pm we heard a car in the driveway. “That must be Liam” Josephine exclaimed. “Now Nathan, promise me you two won’t start fighting!” She added with a worried frown on her face.

  “I won’t start a fight, but I’ll want a talk with him”. He answered and the laughing, joking man, that I loved, had slipped away and a much more serious one had appeared, which made me wonder if that was a promise he could keep. I knew it bothered him that he had to help bail out his brother from jail, but it wasn’t because he´d used money on him, it was because Liam had disappointed him. Nathan had such high hopes for both of his brothers, and I think he thought if he could make it then they should be able to as well. Was it a fair request? I really didn´t know, but I understood why he was feeling like this. However, I also knew how hard it must have been for Liam to live up to. Nathan wasn’t perfect, he was only human after all, but he had made something out of himself, and to have that hanging over one’s head; that you had to do so too could be daunting, especially if you were one to fall off the wagon from time to time.

  When seeing all that run over his face I reached over to squeeze his hand just as the door was pushed open, and who I presumed to be Liam stepped in. And oh god did he look like Nathan; He was not quite as tall as Nathan, but still pretty tall, and instead of green eyes Liam’s were blue, other than that though, he was a spitting image of his big brother.

  “Hey Brother” He said nonchalantly as he got into the kitchen. When walking by Nathan and me he clapped Nathan on the shoulder before reaching their mother and taking her into a loving embrace. “Hey mom, you got any food back for me?”

  She started laughing while shaking her head. “I told you we did lunch at 12pm… but yea it’s in the fridge, help yourself!”

  Finding a piece of pie and a fork he finally turned back to the rest of us, and finally acknowledged me as well. “So.. Who is this beauty you have dragged along?” He asked Nathan.

  “This is Nikki, Liam.. My girlfriend, remember I told you I was seeing someone now?” Nathan answered slightly irritated and you could feel the tension had built in the room since Liam arrived.

  “Yea, yea I remember.. Just wasn’t sure if I believed it since you never have girls stick around for long”.

  Oh.. That one stung. I was not quite sure why, because I knew Nathan never dated much. He always seemed to lose interest pretty fast, when it came to other girls, and I partially knew it was because he had loved me but couldn’t have me until now. I guess the doubt I had in myself, which I had always had, was now questioning if I would still be around for long, even if I knew he loved me.

  “Hello Nikki” Liam then said, giving me a cocky half smile and I just gave him a little awkward waive back.

  Nathan leaned in and nudged my ear with his nose and made me look over at him. “Stop that babe, I love you and you know that is not going to change.” He whispered in my ear, having the uncanny ability to always read my face whenever I was struggling with self-doubt. So I smiled back at him, nodding my head.

  “I love you”. I then mouthed and he kissed my cheek and told me he knew I did.

  Looking up at Liam, Nathan broke our moment. “Are we done ignoring the elephant in the room, now?”

  Liam just shrugged. He didn´t seem much into the idea of talking about the real reason why Nathan and I had come to town. Sure we came so I could meet his mom, but the bigger reason was still that he wanted to talk to his brother.

  “When are you going to court?” Nathan jumped right on to it.

  “In a month… “.

  I looked over at Josephine and could see she was looking at me uncomfortably; like she didn´t want me to witness any more of this tension. So I just tried to smile reassuring at her, trying to convey that I could handle it. It was not like it was aimed at me. I guess she decided not to believe me though because she stood up and asked me if I wanted to join her for a walk round her little backyard, while the boys talked. And after getting the nod from Nathan to go ahead, I agreed.

  Breathing in the fresh air, I realized just how right she was to get me outside.

  “You know, I have never seen Nathan so happy before” Josephine exclaimed.

  “Hmm, he doesn’t seem so happy right now.”

  “No, but that has nothing to do with you hunny, I hope you know that. I was talking about when you two arrived. My boy is in love, and I can feel how protective he is of you”.

  Hearing these words from Nathan’s mother made me blush and I became speechless. What did you tell the mother to the man you loved? That Nathan had saved me so many times, that I owed him my life? Or that the man made me hot all over? I think not. Not the last part anyway.

  “I.. I.. Love him too.. Very much” I stuttered out.

  “I know you do hunny, it is so plain to see in both your faces” She told me smiling. “And I figure by now you have guessed that Nathan speaks of you a great deal”. I just nodded, still not too sure of what to say.

  Josephine reached out and stroked my cheek. “Don’t worry Nikki, what he tells me I won’t tell to anyone else, but you have to know that he worries about you, and though my boy is a strong man, he still sometimes asks his mother for advice. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you too; for making my boy happy, but also know that I understand how life can be hard, and I will not judge what your life has been like, okay?”

  Feeling much lighter because she was confirming that she wouldn´t hold my past against me, I let out a deep breath and smiled back at her.

  “Thank you, Josephine!”

  “You are welcome dear. Now why don’t we walk back inside and see if the boys have finished beating each other up?” That comment made me lift a questioning brow, hoping she was just joking, and when she began laughing at my expression I knew she was doing just that.

  Chapter 17

  As we walked into the house we could hear a very angry Nathan from the other side of the house “You took a chance..? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not the first time you got caught, so why the hell did you even think this time was going to be any different?!”

  Liam answered, but he wasn’t as loud as Nathan had been so we could only hear very little of what he said next, as a response to Nathan’s outburst.

  “I hope you are not stupid enough to think you can avoid jail time this time.” Nathan replied, this time in a lower but still irritated tone.

  That comment made Liam raise his voice too “Of course I know that! And I fucking know I did a stupid thing, you don’t need to fucking yell at me about it now”.

  “Well someone is going to call you upon your fucking mistakes” Nathan roared back. “I’m fucking done with this shit. Next time you can fix your own Goddamn mistakes by yourself!”

  With that last comment Nathan threw the door open and stomped into the living room; where his mom and I had situated ourselves. His eyes were dark with anger, and I could see his hands were twitching to hit something. When Liam came back into the house again I could see Nathan had refrained from hitting his brother though, which was a good thing. I caught his eyes with mine and tried to make him calm down via our connection. And after a few heart beats he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before yet again opening them and giving me a small lopsided smile. He then looked to his mom, and in a tense voice he said “Mom, I am really sorry to cut it short but I think it´s best that we head home…”

  I tilted my head to the side, looking at him with both worry and confusion. It was still so unnatural to see Nathan seething with anger, but I guessed that being in the same room as his brother while he was red hot might not
have been the best idea, so I just shrug my shoulders and got up from the couch. I then leaned in and gave Josephine a swift hug. “It was lovely to meet you, and I hope we can come to visit another day” I told her.

  She gave me one of her warm smiles which didn´t completely reach her eyes, probably because of her sons being so on edge with each other. “It was lovely to meet you too my dear and you are welcome any day.” She then turned her lips towards my ear and whispered “thank you for making my son happy”.

  Well happy was not exactly what I would have called him right at that second, but I understood what she meant so I smiled at her and nodded my head in response as I left her personal space to go to Nathan.

  Nathan turned and headed for the door as I reached his side and we went back to the truck, him being a step in front of me the entire way until he reached my side of the truck where he opened my door for me. He hadn´t said a single word to me since the fight he had had with Liam and it put me on edge too, so as my door was open I just walked around him, while keeping my eyes to the ground, and got into my seat.

  When I was seated, Nathan ran a finger down my arm and made me look at him. “Sorry for shutting you out babe. I just didn´t want to scare you like last time I got mad” He said in a tone barely higher than if he had been whispering. “I’m still a bit on edge so I hope you can bear with me and know it has nothing to do with you”.

  “Okay” I squeaked and he leaned in to capture my lips in a soft kiss before he pulled back and went to the driver’s side of his truck.

  I think we had been driving for about half an hour when Nathan finally broke the silence by bringing up our talk from a few weeks back. “Are you still interested in getting a tattoo?” He asked as he turned his face towards me.

  “Yeah, why do you ask?”

  “Well I forgot to tell you that Shane called this morning and told me he had a spot free tomorrow because of a cancelation… So are we going to pop your tattoo cherry tomorrow?” He asked with a naughty twinkle in his eyes. So I leaned over and smacked his arm before I gave the idea a thought.

  “Hmm.. I guess tomorrow is as good as any day and it doesn’t give me much time to get nervous and back out either.” I told him.

  He chuckled at my reasoning “No it doesn’t” He agreed. “And I will be there to hold your hand”.

  Remembering our earlier conversation on this subject I decided to tease him a little, so I sat back in my seat and started to pout and told him “Last we talked about this you said you would strip for me if it could make me forget my anxiousness about the needles!”

  Nathan then turned his head my way again with a cocky grin on his face “Babe, I will strip for you any time you want” He said as he winked at me with his right eye, which made my lips turn into a broad satisfied smile.

  “I will hold you to that, just so you know. But maybe we should keep your nakedness within our own four walls” I told him while I giggled. “I have an idea that Shane might not appreciate it as much as I do”.

  “I think you´re right, but the dude is just jealous!” Nathan stated on a broad smile.

  “Oh God, you are full of yourself Mr. Mathews” I said, doubling over with laughter. He could be so damn cocky, but I loved when he got like this and I definitely enjoyed that his mood had finally changed.

  The rest of the way home went pretty much the same way. We joked around, poking fun at each other as we had always enjoyed doing. There was nothing mean or patronizing in our humor, though anyone else, who might have heard, could have taken it much differently because our humor was so sarcastic and teasing.

  When we´d arrived home, Nathan called Shane, right away; to tell him we would be coming in for the appointment he had offered me and that made it real.

  Chapter 18

  We walked into Shane’s little tattoo shop the next day, around 3pm, and I was overwhelmed by all the amazing drawings and tattoo pictures gracing the walls. If Shane had done all these he definitely had talent and it made me reconsider my choice of tattoo for a split second, before remembering that those big colorful tattoos would never fit my personality or my body, it didn’t mean I couldn´t appreciate them though.

  Shane came from the back of the room as he spotted us “Hey you guys” He said before turning to me “Nikki, Nathan said you wanted some script done, so let’s see what you’ve got and then see if I need to change it or if we can just transfer it right on”.

  I had been playing around with some script over the last two weeks and had finally, a few days back, settled on the perfect script for it. So I dug into my pocket to retrieve a piece of paper and unfolded it for Shane to see. It said:

  Rising From The Shadows

  Taking the paper from me he studied it for a few seconds before nodding his head. “I can do this, it’ll be easy, but do you only want the script or do you want to add a symbol to it? Or maybe have it look like it was written on an old script-roll?”

  I furrowed my brows in thought, as I tried to picture it in my head. And what I came up with was that I only wanted the script because, no matter how much I tried, I couldn´t imagine anything else being on my body for the rest of my life. Sure it was simple, but it was also me. I didn´t need it to be huge and in techno color for it to remind me of where I was heading and what I was choosing to leave behind.

  “I just want those words, in that script, and I would like it right here” I answered while pointing my finger at my right underarm, a few inches over the pulse point. “And I would like for it to be vertical”.

  “Awesome! If you walk over to the chair in the corner then I will get the stencil drawn up and ready for ya”.

  Shane walked away and just before I went to sit in the chair I looked up at Nathan with a lifted eyebrow, wondering why he had been so silent up until now.

  “What? It´s your appointment, so it´s you who need to do the talking. I am just here for support”. He said, answering my unspoken question while giving me a supportive smile. So I just shook my head and headed for the chair.

  It didn’t take long before Shane came back, stencil in hand. “So are you ready?”

  “Hmm.. As ready, as I´ll ever be. To tell you the truth needles are not really my thing”. I told him.

  He chuckled. “Well to tell you the truth a lot of those big tattooed guys hate needles, when we talk doctor needles, but this is a totally different thing”. He assured me, and then he offered to tattoo a little line on my arm without any ink, so I could feel how it was going to be beforehand. Just in case I would change my mind, mid tattoo, because I couldn´t handle it.

  “Nope. I need to do this, so I don’t want a chance to chicken out”.

  “Okay then, let’s get this show on the road”.

  Shane took the stencil he had made and applied it to the spot on my arm, where my tattoo was going to be. He then smoothed his hand over it and removed the paper again; leaving a purple script on my arm. “Take a look and tell me if that is where you want it”.

  I did as he told me to and was satisfied with his first try. “Yep, just where I saw it in my head”. Turning to Nathan I asked. “What do you think?”

  “It´s definitely you babe” He answered and leaned in to leave a kiss on my cheek.

  Shane picked up his tattoo gun and got the ink ready. And then there was no going back. At first it did hurt a bit and I was close to cutting off the circulation in Nathan’s hand when Shane decided that maybe I needed to be distracted, so he began talking again. “So what’s up you guys, have you heard anything from Mike lately?”

  Nathan shook his head. “No, it´s actually been days since he showed up outside Nikki’s work”.

  Oh shit, that´s right, I hadn´t gotten around to telling him about the other day, when Mike and I had spoken, and I was hit by instant guilt. I had been looking at Nathan when Shane began tattooing me but out of fear that they would read my eyes I looked down at my arm instead. Later I would beat myself up though; asking how I had even thought Nathan wouldn’t notic
e that little slip up.

  “Nik?” He asked with an emotion in his voice that I didn´t recognize at first.

  I turned my head back to him and looked into his eyes. Not good, he had caught on and apparently he had guessed why I looked away. “Babe, have you seen Mike since?” He asked with a sharpness coloring his words and his eyes turning hard.

  “Ehrmm.. Yea I ran into him the other day, when I was out with Sasha and you were gone on that business trip..” I said, ashamed that I hadn´t just told him off the bat. “He.. Ehrm.. Kinda threatened me”

  Nathan’s face got even harder and the anger was shooting out of his eyes. “Why the fuck did you not tell me?” He yelled, making me jump. Thank god Shane had stopped tattooing since Nathan got mad, because that jump might have ruined my first tattoo. “I am going to fucking kill him!” He seethed and let go of my hand. He then turned around and walked out the door.

  I looked over at Shane, positive to see his eyes shooting daggers at me as well, but he surprised me. “Let me just finish this up and you can run after him. He won’t leave… But I think he just needed a breather, so let’s give it to him”.

  With tears in my eyes I nodded my head, allowing him to finish his job. We didn’t talk much after that but Shane did try to get me in a better mood by poking fun at me and telling me lame jokes, which did put me in a better mindset.

  It didn’t take more than 15 minutes to finish up my tattoo and I learned that after a while the pain ceased and the area around the fresh tattoo became sort of numb. Shane dried off the excess ink and patched me up before giving me a small brochure about how to treat a new tattoo, along with a tube of healing cream I was to apply around 4 times a day, or whenever my tattoo was starting to look dry. He told me not to scratch it and in general just to treat it with care and then in a few weeks it would be all healed up. “If it looks like some of the coloring is off when it is completely healed then come back and I will freshen it up” He told me and gave me a wink. “Now go talk that man of yours down, and Nikki, don’t keep shit from him!”