Vrin: Ten Mortal Gods

by John Michael Hileman

  “It wasn’t by choice, believe me.”

  She squeezed my arm. “Get some rest. We’ll see you in the morning.”

  I entered the master bedroom, leaned my cane against the night stand, then stood looking at my reflection in the large mirror on the wall. The man looking back was hardly recognizable. He was older, stately, and was dressed casual. I never dressed casual. I couldn’t even remember owning a pair of jeans.

  The jacket Solomon had given me wasn’t bad. I turned to look at it. Hard leather-- stylish. It fit well. I tried to remove it, but my stiff joints objected to the maneuver. On my second attempt, it pulled free and slid down. I turned and placed the jacket on a chair, and in so doing, noticed something brown protruding from the inside pocket. What’s this? I pulled it out and examined it. It was the packet Dr. Solomon had spoken of. Inside the brown envelope was a smaller, green envelope. I read the name and address.

  Hazel Brown

  128 Pinrow St.

  Marathon, Florida 03944

  I placed the envelope on the night table and sat down. For a moment I stared at it. Should I open it? Was I supposed to open it? Dr. Solomon didn’t say not to open it. I reached out and picked it up again. Who’s gonna know? I’m in the middle of the ocean.

  My hands shook slightly as I bent the metal fastening, opened the envelope, and peered inside. It was empty! What the...? I reached in and fished around, and something came loose. Carefully I pulled out a small piece of paper. It said, simply, “Thomas tardin.”

  What was that supposed to mean? Why would Dr. Solomon want me to deliver an envelope containing just my name? That didn’t make sense. Who was I to Hazel Brown? --I regretted ever opening the cursed thing-- and decided to contact Hazel Brown personally as soon as my strength returned.

  Unfortunately, this, and many other mysteries, would have to wait until the morning, I could not keep my eyes open one minute longer. I finished undressing and climbed into bed.

  The ceiling fan turned slowly, gently moving the curtains in the large open windows. Music filtered through the air from somewhere outside. Rebecca and Annie were talking in the living room, and Samuel was taking a shower. The world was alive around me-- but I felt alone and out of place. Fortunately, sleep took me quickly.

  At first it was the sensation of a smile, then a face. It was a little girl. She moved away from me, disappearing into the curtains behind her. I followed.

  I emerged from the rear of a covered wagon and perched myself upon the shaky wooden seat. Breathing deeply, I looked out across the wide expanse of prairie. Tall sweet grasses swayed in the gentle breeze, and the morning sun warmed my face. A young man sat next to me, smiling. “You recognize me don’t you?”

  I returned his smile, but did not answer.

  “Thomas, could you hand me the blue dress?” I shifted in the seat to see Annie by the full length mirror in our old apartment. Her hand was stretched out in my direction.

  “Well?” she said.

  I stood and walked to the bed. On it lay the blue dress she had worn to our engagement party. I picked it up and held it out. “Are you sure it still fits?” I smiled.

  She came in close to me, finger raised. “Listen, mister, you can be replaced you know.” She pushed me to the bed and landed on top of me, the garment pressed between us. I rolled her off and we lay face to face, enjoying each other in silence. A tender peace washed over me. I held onto it.

  Exhaustion enveloped my weary body as I settled into the hammock and gazed up at the palm fronds overhead. Soft music drifted from somewhere in the distance. I looked over to see Annie waving to me from a boat. Why was she leaving? My throat constricted as I strained to call out to her.

  The boat drifted away and the lake began to warp and change-- until there was nothing left, but a hazy kaleidoscope of faint colors.

  Slowly I became aware of a tiny light way off in the distance. It was dim at first, but gradually it increased, and then quickly became an enormous opening. I emerged from the dark tunnel into the glowing expanse of Dantra. Its beauty filled me with peace, as it had so many times before. And once again, God’s love held me in a warm and familiar embrace.

  Guided by an unknown force I continued deeper into Dantra, toward the planetoid known as Vrin. And I was not alone. Dozens of souls traveled with me, each one carried by the same hidden current, and each unable to travel freely about in Dantra as before. Like bottles in a sapphire river, we approached the ominous blue orb. Larger and larger it grew, until its immeasurable round surface became flat to my perception, and with a blinding flash, I entered.

  I fell rapidly, but there was no sense of movement. Below, near the cusp of a mountain, stood the sparkling city of Oonaj. The place I called home. I continued down, deep into the heart of the city toward the golden dome of the capital building. When I reached it, there was no impact, I simply passed through-- and continued down through layer after layer. Until at last, I reached my destination, the warmly lit library, where my host sat motionless, awaiting my arrival.

  I admired him momentarily. He was so different from his earthly counterpart. There was no obsession for wealth or power, no need to be a captain of industry. His life was his books. It was a much less complicated life. Yes, I liked him. I was proud of him. Through him, I had made better decisions. He was my second chance, and for that I was thankful.

  A gentle and loving voice echoed inside me. “It is time.” The room warped and shifted as I entered my host. Air rushed into my lungs, and my eyes widened.

  That part of me, which was eternal, became still.

  So there I sat, wondering how long I had been staring at the same page of my book.

  CHAPTER 21

  OLD LIVES, OLD FRIENDS

  001001011001110

  We stared at each other in silence-- and time passed. After all, what could we say? Our relationship had changed irreversibly from the moment I’d uttered the words. Words which now hung in the air like a cloud of strangling gas, threatening to steal away our very breath. I wished now I could take them back.

  It was Sajin who spoke first. “So, you are Sam' Dejal.” His tone was guarded.

  “I-- don’t know. I have his memories-- but does that make me him?”

  “Perhaps it is some kind of transference. Does the holy book mention anything about this kind of phenomenon?”

  “No.” I looked down at the tiled floor. “Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

  He glared at me. “You’re the sky searcher, Charm! What do you make of it?”

  Again we stared, and after a long moment of introspection, I stated, “I am Sam' Dejal.”

  Sajin stood abruptly. “This is nonsense!”

  “Well, what do you want me to tell you!” I realized I had never spoken to him in this manner before.

  He gave me an examining, and somewhat threatening look.

  I yielded to it, and began again, this time lowering my head in respect. “They are not just memories, they are conscious choices which I myself made. There was no other consciousness but my own. Therefore, I must conclude, I am Sam' Dejal.”

  “But you were here. How could you be there and here at the same time? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “My body was here, but my soul was not.”

  “That’s not possible.”

  “I remember it all, Sajin.” I arose and took a position before him. “I remember you, greeting me in the study, and Dirm attempting to pierce me through with a crossbow bolt. I remember being in the presence of the gods. I remember things I dare not speak of, and I remember the power that once coursed through these veins-- so don’t look at me as if I’m crazy.”

  I forced myself to take a step back. “I can share with you, the expression on your face when I barged into the council chambers, announcing the end of the world. And tell you what it was like to lead an army of angels against the forces of Kric’ tu. I am not crazy. I was Sam' Dejal!”

  I had known Sajin my whole life. He was my mentor and my frie
nd. For as long as I could remember, he had always had a talent for speaking, it was one of his greatest strengths, and I had never seen him at a loss for words. Yet there he stood, unable to speak, for the third time.

  I turned from him and crouched before the fire. The flames danced and bounced as I searched intently for what I knew was there, or more accurately, what I knew was not. “Sajin,” I said quietly. “Would you come here please.”

  He walked over and crouched beside me.

  “What is missing here?” I asked.

  He examined the fire, then looked at me expressionless. “Whatever it is you wish me to see, I'm missing it.”

  “Does the smoke rising up into the chimney seem strange to you?”

  “Not especially.”

  “Don’t you think it’s strange there are no ashes rising up in the smoke stream?”

  His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “No. What’s your point?”

  “My point is, last week, it didn’t seem strange to me either, but now it does.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “I am different, Sajin. I am aware of things I have never been aware of before, and I’m not quite sure how to handle it. Whether I am Sam' Dejal or not is irrelevant-- I am no longer Charm.”

  Sajin stood and looked down into the fire. As deep orange light flickered across his stern features, there came a quiet knock at the door.

  The doors to the study pushed inward, filling the room with daylight. A soldier stood silhouetted in the entrance. “Master Sajin, Lady Kitaya is here. She wishes an audience with you.”

  My mind wrapped around the name, and something deep within me was awakened. Perhaps it was relief at knowing she was okay. Perhaps it was something more. I wanted to go to her, but I held back. Would she know me?

  “Tell her I will be there momentarily,” Sajin said absently. He turned and straightened. “This conversation is going to have to wait.”

  “I understand.”

  For now, I will have your status upgraded. A servant will be appointed to you, and your quarters will be transferred to the west wing of the palace. I hope that will be adequate.”

  “That won’t be necessary.”

  “I sense in you a new spirit, Charm. You will not be satisfied to contain yourself in the role you once played, so we will have to define a new one for you.”

  “As you wish, my lord,” I said, with a subtle bow.

  “But for now, I have business to attend to.”

  “May I accompany you?” I said too quickly.

  Sajin gave me an examining stare. It was a stare I knew well, one which he employed frequently with great precision. But this time, there was a hint of defeat in his eyes. “You have changed,” he said quietly. He turned toward the door. “You may come, but show me the courtesy of remaining silent.”

  We entered the capital's immense indoor garden to see Kitaya standing with her back to us. Her delicate form was shrouded in a mysterious silk dress, which flowed about her in gentle currents. Subtle shades of tan and brown melted into soft shadows of gossamer transparencies. Her braided ponytail swung gracefully behind her. She was studying a brilliant orange tulip in the center of the elaborate garden. The blossom seemed to shimmer as the sun hit it-- but perhaps it was her presence that brought the little flower to life.

  “It is good to see you are well, Lady Kitaya,” said Sajin, announcing our presence.

  Kitaya turned slowly, revealing her brilliant blue eyes. “It is good to see you are well, Sajin.”

  I kept to the rear as she glided toward us.

  “To what do we owe the honor of your visit?” Sajin took her hand into his, and feigned a kiss.

  “Oh Sajin, you are so very regal, a true diplomat.”

  Sajin smiled.

  “I have come to ask a favor of you.”

  “Anything you wish, my lady.”

  “I wish to borrow Davata Notrals,” she said brightly.

  Sajin showed no reaction. “You must know I can’t grant that. I don’t have the authority.”

  “Then will you bring it before the council?”

  “If it is your wish.” He bowed, then hesitated. “Would you do something for me?”

  She smiled. “What would you have me do?”

  “Enlighten us as to its origin?”

  A slight pout developed on her face. “What do your people find so impressive about that book? It is nothing more than fairy tales about a world which doesn’t exist.”

  “Davata Notrals contains the living text. Each time our sky searchers examine it, the text changes. Stories unfold in different ways, and the prophecies about its people change.”

  “But they are not your people, Sajin.”

  “I am puzzled Ki’ Janu. Why would you create such an artifact for us to cherish, and then make light of its importance?”

  “It is only important to you, because you do not understand it.”

  “It is important to us, because we believed it was a gift from you, and now you ask for it back?”

  I knew Kitaya was bluffing, and this insight caused an involuntary smile to form on my face. Unfortunately it caught her attention.

  “Who is this?” She sounded mildly annoyed.

  “This is our sky searcher, Charm.” Sajin kept his posture.

  Kitaya moved in my direction, examining me with a cold sapphire gaze. After a few excruciating seconds, she produced a squint, and a half smile. “He has your strength, Sajin. Perhaps you should guard yourself; your career may be at stake.”

  “I will keep that in mind.”

  “So will you do as I asked?” she said, repositioning herself in front of Sajin.

  “I will.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Will you consider my request?”

  “Yes, but in the mean time, may I at least see the text?”

  “Do you wish to see the original parchments?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Is there any particular section you would like to view, or would you have it all?”

  “I wish to view the book of the prophet Amiel.”

  “The Book of Reason,” he stated with an almost imperceptible hesitation.

  She nodded.

  “There is a matter I must attend to. Charm can show you the text.” He looked at me. My head gave a startled snap in his direction. Our eyes met in silent communication. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

  “I beg your pardon, sir,” I replied in my most diplomatic voice. “I merely doubt I have the proper credentials to assist Lady Kitaya in a manner befitting her stature.”

  “I am sure you will do just fine.” He turned back to Kitaya. “If you need anything else, my lady, I will be in the council chambers.”

  “Thank you, Sajin.” Her eyes were still on me. It was clear she didn’t know what to think of me, but I suspected it was a mystery she would enjoy unraveling.

  I gave her a discrete bow. “If you will follow me, your holiness.”

  As we headed out into the main corridor, people stopped and stared. Kitaya was intriguing to behold, and quite out of place amidst the plain clothed dignitaries. We reached a slate staircase and I looked back at her. “This way, my lady,” I said, gesturing to the stairs.

  They spiraled around a massive marble cylinder, which reached from the basement to the peak of the domed ceiling high above. Its thick marble railing was graced with intermittent statues. It had taken seventeen long years to build this staircase, and men had died during its construction-- but all I could think about, was the fact that I had never seen anyone dust it.

  For a long time we climbed in silence.

  “How goes the war?” I inquired at last.

  “There seems to be no end to it,” she replied passively.

  “Who wages the war while you are here? Armadon, Lorna, and Corel?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did we have any luck in getting Tiko?”

  She came to a stop and looked up at me. “Did we have any luck? How is it you know so much about the affairs of the gods?�
�

  I stopped and turned. “This is the capital, many rumors travel through these walls.”

  Her right eyebrow rose slightly. “Yes-- I suppose they do.”

  I looked ahead, then back at Kitaya. “We should be there soon. It’s only a little farther.”

  She nodded, and in her eyes I saw suspicion.

  How much could I tell her? I trusted her, but things were different now. Even if I did tell her, would she believe me? Would I have believed myself? It didn't matter. I could not reveal my identity. I shuddered at the thought of what Rath would do to me in my present form. My mind shifted to the unending blackness of the dungeon, and Gaza’s daughter flashed into my perception. Her pleading eyes stabbed at my heart. She was dead now. Kitaya needed to know this. She needed to tell the others-- but there was no way to tell her without revealing my identity.

  “Deep in thought?”

  My heart skipped a beat. Was she listening to my thoughts? A wave of adrenaline passed over me. “Why do you ask?” I said, forcing a casual tone.

  “You seem quiet, that is all.”

  “I can talk more if you wish.”

  “That will not be necessary, unless you care to share with me what you were thinking?”

  Did she know? No. If she knew, she would not be reacting so calmly. “I was-thinking about Davata Notrals, considering the Book of Barithimus. Do you think the Hestimites will be able to do what they did in the Book of Hagus. On the last recorded change to the text, it was clear they could not. What are your thoughts?”

  “It is a secret,” she said, looking away.

  “Then I suppose I shall wait to see. Forgive me for asking,” I said in silent relief.

  We reached the last bend and climbed up to the final plateau. Kitaya turned and looked down over the thick railing. I stepped up beside her. The architecture was breathtaking. All the way down, beams of sunlight filtered in through thin ornate windows, filling the interior with a peaceful yellow glow. The inside of the tremendous dome surrounding us appeared as a giant honeycomb of marble and granite. Some of the openings were offices, others were meeting rooms, and in each hole there was activity.