Playlist for the Apocalypse

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by Rita Dove


  though the box is still

  there—cosmic cage,

  Barnum’s biggest, proudest Ring.

  My land: a chair, four sticks

  with a board laid across:

  This is the raft

  I pile my dreams on,

  set out to sea.

  Look for me, shore.

  Vacation

  I love the hour before takeoff,

  that stretch of no time, no home

  but the gray vinyl seats linked like

  unfolding paper dolls. Soon we shall

  be summoned to the gate, soon enough

  there’ll be the clumsy procedure of row numbers

  and perforated stubs—but for now

  I can look at these ragtag nuclear families

  with their cooing and bickering

  or the heeled bachelorette trying

  to ignore a baby’s wail and the baby’s

  exhausted mother waiting to be called up early

  while the athlete, one monstrous hand

  asleep on his duffel bag, listens,

  perched like a seal trained for the plunge.

  Even the lone executive

  who has wandered this far into summer

  with his lasered itinerary, briefcase

  knocking his knees—even he

  has worked for the pleasure of bearing

  no more than a scrap of himself

  into this hall. He’ll dine out, she’ll sleep late,

  they’ll let the sun burn them happy all morning

  —a little hope, a little whimsy

  before the loudspeaker blurts

  and we leap up to become

  Flight 828, now boarding at gate 17.

  A·wing´

  Die Zeit im Grund, Quinquin, die Zeit,

  die ändert doch nichts an den Sachen.

  Die Zeit ist ein sonderbar Ding.

  Wenn man so hinlebt, ist sie rein gar nichts.

  Aber dann auf einmal, da spürt man nichts als sie.

  Marschallin’s monologue, Der Rosenkavalier

  Her noble soprano swells the car radio,

  tone escalating on tone, a wine goblet

  filling, then pouring out:

  as frightening a perfection as the Alps

  glimpsed, unguarded,

  at the free end of a cobbled alley

  crisscrossed with Monday’s laundry,

  bed sheets and towels.

  We’ve stopped to photograph Switzerland

  en route to gentler climes. At this altitude

  I’m lightheaded, though I’ve never felt

  more brunette, here among the blondes

  Schwarzkopf celebrated

  (despite the irony of her name, a blemish

  no native speaker hears). Strange,

  the Marschallin trills, but time

  changes nothing, actually.

  Jolted, my chest stutters,

  remembers to re-inflate—

  glacial sun, iodine empyrean.

  I lift the lens and snap. Even this deep

  into summer, snow continues to pleat

  those deadly crevasses—(Hochsommer,

  the natives call it: high, deep, black,

  white)—just as she continues

  to thrill us with her icy passion, her

  platinum Marschallin.

  There’s really no end to this

  perfection: It stands there

  ignoring you, until you notice—and then

  there’s nothing else.

  After Egypt

  The slum is the measure of civilization.

  —Jacob Riis

  Everyone’s quick to blame the alien.

  —Aeschylus

  Little Town

  Cobble your streets and no whining:

  Stones are abundant here,

  Stones and weather and air.

  Foundry

  Cast out. Cast in

  bronze, in iron

  (medallions never),

  in fervor, in torment,

  testing for a nibble,

  a bite of glory—

  then reeled into The

  Net. Always the net’s

  diaphanous crucible,

  a seething creel

  dripping with its

  wretched catch.

  STAND UP, JEW!

  NIGGER, HALT!

  RUN, FAG, RUN!

  JUST TRY IT, BITCH.

  I hear you. Your eyes

  have screamed themselves

  into slits and I am tired

  beyond longing, past

  caring if the stick

  is thick. You think surely

  there’s no harm in

  rounding up trash

  and hauling it

  to the dump where it

  won’t offend your delicate

  snub nose. You think

  as long as we stay where

  you’ve tossed us, on

  the slag heap of your regard,

  the republic is safe.

  OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

  Now you see me

  Now you don’t

  Sarra’s Answer

  in response to a sonnet by Gabriele Zinano

  You asked if I could swear this faith of mine

  would guarantee to get me into heaven—

  if not, then why not take the veil

  and strike an iron-clad deal with God?

  You wrote this in earnest, as if desire

  were not a part of believing, and your zeal

  one last irresistible swish of frosting

  on the wafer offered up in trade for sin.

  There is no way to say this sweetly: Death

  will sour my breath before I set foot

  inside that gilded gambler’s den. Aim your hope

  elsewhere: There can be no prize behind Door

  Number Three grander than all I’ll inherit—

  passage from these lean walls into endless Room.

  Sarra’s Blues

  I am not the one you hoped for

  (it is morning my heart beats)

  I am not the one you think I am

  (my bed is stale the air is sweet)

  I will not give in to sorrow

  (though the lapping water purrs)

  I will not be soothed by shadows

  (I can hear the earth’s low roar)

  You cannot find me in these lines

  (I have not gone it is too soon)

  I cannot find the noblest rhymes

  (I did not die this afternoon)

  From wan noon into dim evening

  (brackish spittle clanging skull)

  Evening grims into night’s easing

  (water settles light decays)

  What I whisper will not soothe you

  (fevered washrag soured wet)

  Do not look for peace or wisdom

  (do remember do regret)

  I have nothing left to tell you

  (muffled voices fade away)

  True I will not live forever

  (but I shall not die today)

  Aubade: The Constitutional

  Leone da Modena. The Veneto

  A day like this I should count

  among the miracles of living—breath,

  a heart that beats, that aches and sings;

  even the ecstasy of thirst

  or sweat peppering my brow,

  fanned by the mercurial breezes

  crisscrossing this reserve,

  our allotment on earth—

  why, then, am I unhappy

  when all around me

  the human pageant whirrs?

  This much I can do for my lost,

  my sweet and damaged tribe:

  Each morning I pace the tattered verge

  of their Most Serene Republic,

  patrol each canal’s fogged sibilance,

  chanting a day unlike all others—

  and then I count it, and the next,

&nbs
p; God willing, and each day thereafter

  as a path free of echoes,

  a promise with no perimeters,

  my foot soles polishing the scarred stones.

  Sketch for Terezín

  breathe in  breathe out

  that’s the way

  in out

  left right

  where did we leave from?

  when do we stop leaving?

  *

  This far west, summer nights cool off

  but stay light, blue-stung,

  long after sleep lowers its merciful hammer.

  *

  breathe left

  breathe right

  one two

  in out

  *

  There will be music and ice cream

  and porcelain sinks.

  Carts of bread for the looking;

  choirs and gymnastics.

  I get to carry the banner.

  *

  that’s the way keep it up

  in out in out

  where did we leave from

  when did we stop leaving

  *

  I was a girl when I arrived,

  carrying two pots

  from my mother’s kitchen.

  It was October, growing crisp,

  my sweater soft as cream cakes,

  my braid blonder than the star

  stitched across my heart.

  *

  breathe breathe

  that’s the way

  left right left

  right left right

  *

  no one asks what village I’m from

  though I look out from its leaf-green eyes

  no one asks if I remember how the butterflies

  startled, churning up lemony clouds

  no one else hears the river chafing its banks

  the one road singing its promises

  going out

  *

  when did we leave from

  where did we stop leaving

  *

  if I am to become a heavenly body

  I would like to be a comet

  a streak of spitfire consuming itself

  before a child’s upturned wonder

  Orders of the Day

  After the bellowed call to rise, the cold dribble wash-up

  before making our cots; after chores were dealt out

  as we crumbled bread into sour cabbage, then fell

  in line to be totted up, numbers matched to fates;

  there was a moment—before the scramble to class,

  lookouts posted below the attic hutch, no more than

  a flicker, a bright, brutal remembering—

  when we became ourselves again,

  cowlicked and plaited, flush with pocketed apples

  or tucked-away sweets. We were not

  hunched in rain being counted or shivering

  under rafters, trying to keep pace with

  our dreams of the outside world.

  We were merely children. And that

  brief forgetting, that raging stupor

  we tried to hold quiet in our heads

  as if in a brimming goblet

  until the day lurched upright, barking its orders—

  was either the most blissful or shattering instant

  we would live through on earth:

  this hard and sullen earth

  we no longer recognized but would,

  sooner than later, commit our souls to

  when at last our bodies crumbled

  into their final resting place.

  Transit

  If music be the food of love, play on.

  This is the house that music built:

  each note a fingertip’s purchase,

  rung upon rung laddering

  across the unspeakable world.

  As for those other shrill facades,

  rigged-for-a-day porticos

  composed to soothe regiments

  of eyes, guilt-reddened,

  lining the parade route

  (horn flash, woodwind wail) . . .

  well, let them cheer.

  I won’t speak judgment on

  the black water passing for coffee,

  white water for soup.

  We supped instead each night

  on Chopin, hummed our grief-

  soaked lullabies to the rapture

  rippling through. Let it be said

  while in the midst of horror

  we fed on beauty—and that,

  my love, is what sustained us.

  [Alice Herz-Sommer, survivor of the Theresienstadt concentration camp]

  Declaration of Interdependence

  Hooknose, Canada Goose, slit-eyed Toucan.

  Porch monkey, baboon, trash-talking magpie.

  I cover my head in adoration, just as you doff your hat.

  Do not rub my head. Don’t even think about it.

  I bob as I chant, I pray as I breathe. Does that disgust you?

  I shout to the Lord, dance out my joy. Does that amuse you?

  To my knowledge I have never terminated a deity.

  Last time I looked, I did not have a tail.

  Business is not “in” my blood. I attended university. I studied.

  I am a trained athlete. Nothing I do on the court is natural.

  Matzo is not a culinary delicacy: There wasn’t a menu.

  Fried chicken will kill you just as easy as the Colonel.

  You buy tickets to hear me crack jokes about my tribe. Are you uncomfortable yet?

  Suddenly you’re walking up the same street I’m walking down. Are you frightened yet?

  You laugh, and forget. I laugh, and remember.

  I laugh to forget, and the thorn deepens.

  Excuse me, but what do vermin actually look like?

  Raccoons are intelligent, curious, and highly industrious.

  I am not the problem or even a problem. Problems have provenance; someone created them.

  I’m neither exotic nor particularly earthy. I was a child once; I belonged to someone.

  No, I do not know how to play the violin.

  Sorry, I’m tone-deaf. No rhythm here.

  Bagel-dog, Bronx Indian, Beastie Boy.

  Buckwheat, Burr Head, banjo lips.

  I have never even seen a well.

  So is that a poplar?

  Do not talk about my mother.

  Do not talk about my mother.

  Elevator Man, 1949

  Not a cage but an organ:

  If he thought about it, he’d go insane.

  Yes, if he thought about it

  philosophically,

  he was a bubble of bad air

  in a closed system.

  He sleeps on his feet

  until the bosses enter from the paths

  of Research and Administration—

  the same white classmates

  he had helped through Organic Chemistry.

  A year ago they got him a transfer

  from assembly line to Corporate Headquarters,

  a “kindness” he repaid

  by letting out all the stops,

  jostling them up and down

  the scale of his bitterness

  until they emerge queasy, rubbing

  the backs of their necks,

  feeling absolved and somehow

  in need of a drink. The secret,

  he thinks to himself, is not

  in the pipe but

  the slender breath of the piper.

  Youth Sunday

  16th Street Baptist Church

  Dirmingham, Alabama

  This morning’s already good—summer’s

  cooling, Addie chattering like a magpie—

  but today we are leading the congregation.

  Ain’t that a fine thing! All in white like angels,

  they’ll be sighing when we appear at the pulpit

  and proclaim “Open your hymnals—”

  Addie, what
’s the page number again?

  Never mind, it’ll be posted. I think. I hope.

  Hold still, Carole, or else this sash will never

  sit right! There. Now you do mine.

  Almost eleven. I’m ready. My, don’t we look—

  what’s that word the Reverend used in

  last Sunday’s sermon? Oh, I got it: ethereal.

  Aubade East

  Harlem, a.m.

  Today’s the day, I can taste it.

  Got my gray sweats pouting in a breeze

  so soft, I feel like I’m still wrapped for sleeping

  as I head uptown in my undercover power-suit,

  bitch sunlight fingering the spaced-out tenements.

  This morning there ain’t nothing I can’t do.

  This is my territory, I know all of it—

  ten long blocks flanked by mighty water.

  Walking any Avenue is like riding

  a cosmic surfboard on the biggest wave

  of the goddam century, the East River

  twerking her bedazzled behind

  while sky spills coins like a luck-crazed

  Vegas granny flush at the slots. Today

  I’m gonna make out like a bandit myself:

  hook up with my buds to drop

  a few shots on the courts, ogle the ladies,

  then play the rest of the day

  as it comes see where it goes

  feeling good

  feeling good

  somewhere over the Hudson

  the sun heading home

  Trayvon, Redux

  It is difficult / to get the news from poems / yet men die miserably

  every day / for lack / of what is found there. / Hear me out / for

  I too am concerned / and every man / who wants to die at peace

  in his bed / besides.

  William Carlos Williams, “Asphodel, That Greeny Flower”

  Move along, you don’t belong here.

 

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